Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers

Translator: Dita Bytyci Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

Te gjithe, ju lutem mendoni

Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal.

njeren nga qellimet tuaja personale.

For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.

Ne te vertete- merreni nje sekond. Duhet ta ndjeni qe te mesoni.

Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?

Për disa sekonda mendoni për synimin tuaj më të madh personal, në rregull?

Imagjoni se keni vendosur

Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.

se do e beni ate.

Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.

Imagjino sikur do i tregosh dikujt qe takove sot se qfare do te besh.

Imagine their congratulations,

Imagjino urimet e tyre

and their high image of you.

dhe mendimin e larte per ty.

Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?

A nuk ju ben te ndjeheni mire kur ta thuash me ze te larte?

Don't you feel one step closer already,

A nuk ndjeheni nje hap prane synimit tuaj,

like it's already becoming part of your identity?

sikur ka filluar te behet pjese e identitetit tuaj?

Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,

E pra, nje lajm i keq: duhej ta kishe mbyllur gojen,

because that good feeling

sepse ajo ndjenje e mire

now will make you less likely to do it.

tani ju jep me pak gjasa per ta arritur ate.

The repeated psychology tests have proven

Teste te nje pasnjeshme psikologjike kan treguar

that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.

qe ti tregosh dikujt per qellimin tend

e ben me pak te rendeshishme qe te ndodh.

Any time you have a goal,

Qdo here ke nje qellim,

there are some steps that need to be done,

jane disa hapa qe duhen bere, dhe nje pune qe duhet bere gjithashtu

some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.

ne menyre qe te arrihet ky qellim.

Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done the work.

Idealisht, nuk do ishe i kenaqur deri sa ta kesh bere punen.

But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,

Por kur i tregon ndokujt per qellimin tend dhe ata e miratojne ate,

psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."

psikologet kane konstatuar se thirret ''realiteti social''

The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.

Ne nje fare menyre mendja mashtrohet me ndjenjen se tashme e keni bere.

And then because you've felt that satisfaction,

Dhe pastaj, ti e ndjen vete kenaqesin

you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.

ndjeheni me pak te motivuar per ta bere

punen e veshtire akutale.

(Laughter)

So this goes against conventional wisdom

Pra, kjo bie ndesh me ate qe besojme

that we should tell our friends our goals, right?

qe ne duhet tu tregojm shokeve tone qellimet tona, apo jo...

So they hold us to it.

dhe keshtu ata na mbajne me kete.

So, let's look at the proof.

Pra, le te shikojm kete fakt.

1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,

1926, Kurt Lewin, themelues i psikologjise sociale,

e titulluar ''zevendesimi.''

called this "substitution."

1933: Wera Mahler found when it was acknowledged by others,

1933, Vera Mahler mbeshteti

ate qe ishte vertetuar nga te tjeret, ndjehet jeta reale ne mendje.

it felt real in the mind.

1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this,

Ne 1982, Peter Gollwitzer shkroi nje liber te tere rreth kesaj,

and in 2009,

dhe ne 2009,

he did some new tests that were published.

ai beri disa analiza te reja qe u botuan.

It goes like this:

Fillon si kjo :

163 people across four separate tests.

163 njerez rreth kater teste te ndara-

Everyone wrote down their personal goal.

cdo njeri shkroi qellimet e tyre personale.

Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,

Gjysma e tyre u tregoi se cili ishte qellimi i tyre,

and half didn't.

dhe gjysma jo

Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work

Pastaj, cdo njerit iu dhane nga 45 minuta per te punuar

that would directly lead them towards their goal,

gje qe do i shpinte ata drejt qellimit te tyre,

but they were told that they could stop at any time.

por atyre iu ishte thene qe mund te perfunonin ne cdo kohe.

Now, those who kept their mouths shut

Tani, ata qe heshten

worked the entire 45 minutes on average,

punuan gjate gjithe 45 minutave

and when asked afterward,

dhe kur më pas u pyetën,

said that they felt that they had a long way to go still

thane qe ata ndjenin nje rruge te gjate per te arritur qellimin.

to achieve their goal.

But those who had announced it

Por ata qe lajmeruan kete

quit after only 33 minutes, on average,

hoqen dore vetem pas 33 minutave,

and when asked afterward,

dhe kur u pyeten me pas,

said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.

thane se ndjeheshin shume prane arritjes se qellimit te tyre.

So if this is true, what can we do?

Pra, nese kjo do ishte e vertet,

cfare mund te bejme?

Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal.

Ju mund t'i rezistoni tundimit

për t’i treguar synimet tuaja.

You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgment brings,

Mund ta vononi kënaqësinë

që ju sjell miratimi nga të tjerët.

and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing.

Dhe ju mund ta kuptoni se mendja

gabon mes të folurit dhe të vepruarit.

But if you do need to talk about something,

Por nëse keni nevojë të flisni për diçka,

you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction,

atëherë duhet ta thoni në një mënyrë

që nuk u jep asnjë kënaqësi,

such as, "I really want to run this marathon,

si p.sh., "Me të vërtetë dua të vrapoj në këtë maratonë,

so I need to train five times a week

prandaj duhet trajnuar pesë herë në javë,

and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"

dhe ta dënoj veten nëse nuk e bëj këtë."

So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,

Pra, herën tjetër kur tundoheni t’i tregoni dikujt për synimet tuaja,

what will you say?

çfarë do të thoni?

(Silence)

Exactly! Well done.

Ashtu. Shumë mirë.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)