Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers

Translator: Gulnoza Yakubova Reviewer: Nafissa Yakubova

Hammanglar, iltimos, o'zingizning

Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal.

eng katta shahsiy maqsadinglar haqida o'ylanglar.

For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.

Haqiqatdan. Bir soniya sarflang. Buni o'rganish uchun buni his qilishingiz kerak.

Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?

Bir necha soniaya sarflang va o'zingizning eng katta shaxsiy maqsadingizni o'ylang, maylimi?

Shu maqsadni amalga oshirmoqchi ekanligingizni

Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.

hozir qaror qabul qilayotgandek tasavvur qiling.

Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.

Bugun siz uchratgan insonga siz bajamoqchi bo'lgan maqsadni aytishingizni tasavvur qiling.

Imagine their congratulations,

Ularning tabriklarini

and their high image of you.

va ularning siz haqidagi yuksak tasavvurini hayolingizga keltiring.

Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?

Shu maqsadni baland ovoz bilan aytish orqali inson o'zini yaxhshi his qiladimi?

Don't you feel one step closer already,

O'zingizni shu maqsadga allaqachon bir qadam yaqinlashgandek his qilmaysizmi?

like it's already becoming part of your identity?

Huddi bu shaxsiyatingizning bir qismi bo'layotgandek his qilmaysizmi?

Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,

Ho'sh, yomon xabar: og'zingizni yopib turishingiz kerak edi,

because that good feeling

chunki o'sha yaxshi tuyg'u

now will make you less likely to do it.

sizning o'sha ishni bajarish ehitmolingizni kamaytiradi.

The repeated psychology tests have proven

Qayta qayta o'tkazilgan psihologik testlar isbotlaganki

that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.

kimgadir maqsadingizni aytish

uning amalga oshish ehtimolini kamaytiradi.

Any time you have a goal,

Har qanday paytda sizda maqsad bo'lganda,

there are some steps that need to be done,

shu maqsadga erishish uchun

some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.

bajarilishi kerak bo'lgan ba'zi qismlar bor, bajarilishi kerak bo'lgan ba'zi ishlar bor.

Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done the work.

Aslida, siz ishni bajarib bo'lmaguncha qoniqmasligingiz kerak.

But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,

Lekin siz maqsadingizni kimgadir aytsangiz va ular buni tan olsa,

psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."

psihologlarning aytishicha,bu ijtimoiy haqiqat deb ataladi.

The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.

Inson ongi bu maqsad amalga oshganidagidek his tuyg'uga berilib qoladi.

And then because you've felt that satisfaction,

So'ngra, o'sha qoniqishni his qilganingiz uchun,

you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.

asl zarur ishni bajarishga

ishtiyog'ingiz juda kam bo'ladi.

(Laughter)

So this goes against conventional wisdom

Hullas, biz maqsadlarimiz haqida do'stlarimizga aytishimiz kerak

that we should tell our friends our goals, right?

degan g'oya odatiy aqlga qarshi fikr bo'lyabdi.

So they hold us to it.

Shunday qilib, bizlarni shunga ishontirishadi.

So, let's look at the proof.

Buning isbotiga nazar solaylik.

1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,

1926 yilda, Kur Lewin, ijtimoiy psihologiyaning asoschisi

buni "o'rniga almashtirish" deb atadi.

called this "substitution."

1933: Wera Mahler found when it was acknowledged by others,

1933 yilda Vera Mahler shuni topdi:

maqsadni boshqalar tan olganda, maqsad inson fikrida haqiqiydek tuyuladi.

it felt real in the mind.

1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this,

1982 yilda Peter Gollwitzer bu haqida butun bir kitob yozdi

and in 2009,

va 2009 yilda

he did some new tests that were published.

u ba'zi yangi sinovlarni bajardi va ular nashr ham qilindi.

It goes like this:

Bu shunday bo'ladi:

163 people across four separate tests.

To'rtta alohida sinovlar bo'yicha 163 ta odamlar --

Everyone wrote down their personal goal.

hamma o'zlarining maqsadlarini yozdilar.

Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,

Ularning yarmi o'zlarining maqsadlariga bo'lgan intilishlarini aytdilar

and half didn't.

va ularning yarmi bu haqda hech narsa deyishmadi.

Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work

Keyin, hammaga 45 daqiqalik ish berildi.

that would directly lead them towards their goal,

Bu ish ularni to'g'ridan to'g'ri maqsadlariga olib borar edi.

but they were told that they could stop at any time.

Lekin, shu bilan birga ular istagan paytlarida bu berilgan ishni to'xtata olishlari mumkin ekanligi aytildi.

Now, those who kept their mouths shut

Og'zini yopib, indamay o'tirganlar,

worked the entire 45 minutes on average,

o'rta hisobda, to'liq 45 daqiqa ishladilar.

and when asked afterward,

Shunda keyin, ulardan so'rashganida,

said that they felt that they had a long way to go still

ular maqsadlariga erishishlari uchun hali ancha uzoq yo'l borligini aytdilar.

to achieve their goal.

But those who had announced it

Maqsadlarini boshqalarga e'lon qilganlar esa,

quit after only 33 minutes, on average,

o'rta hisobda, 33 daqiqadan keyin ishini to'xtatishdi.

and when asked afterward,

Bulardan so'rashganida esa,

said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.

bular maqsadlariga erishishlariga juda ham yaqin qolganliklarini aytdilar.

So if this is true, what can we do?

Agar bu to'g'ri bo'lsa,

biz nima qila olamiz?

Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal.

Siz maqsadingizni boshqalarga e'lon qilishdan

o'zingizni tiyib turishingiz mumkin.

You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgment brings,

Ijtimoiy tan olinish sizga keltiradigan

qoniqishni keyinga qoldirib turishingiz mumkin.

and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing.

Shunday qilib, ongingiz gapirishni bajarishga adashtirishini

anglab olasiz.

But if you do need to talk about something,

Ammo, siz biror narsa haqida gapirmoqchi bo'lsangiz,

you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction,

siz shunday usulda aytishingiz kerakki,

bu sizga hech qanday qoniqih tuyg'usini bermasin.

such as, "I really want to run this marathon,

masalan, "Men bu marafonda yugurishni juda xohlayman,

so I need to train five times a week

shunig uchun men haftasiga besh marta shug'ullanishim kerak

and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"

va, agar, shunday qilmasam, o'zimni urishim kerak, maylimi?

So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,

Tomoshabinlar, kelasi safar sizlar maqsadingiz haqida kimgadir aytishni xohlasangiz,

what will you say?

nima deysizlar?

(Silence)

Exactly! Well done.

Huddi shunday. Juda yaxshi.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)