Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers

1,858,609 views ・ 2010-09-02

TED


Videoni ijro etish uchun quyidagi inglizcha subtitrlarga ikki marta bosing.

Translator: Gulnoza Yakubova Reviewer: Nafissa Yakubova
Hammanglar, iltimos, o'zingizning
00:16
Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal.
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eng katta shahsiy maqsadinglar haqida o'ylanglar.
00:20
For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.
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Haqiqatdan. Bir soniya sarflang. Buni o'rganish uchun buni his qilishingiz kerak.
00:23
Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?
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Bir necha soniaya sarflang va o'zingizning eng katta shaxsiy maqsadingizni o'ylang, maylimi?
Shu maqsadni amalga oshirmoqchi ekanligingizni
00:27
Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.
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hozir qaror qabul qilayotgandek tasavvur qiling.
00:30
Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.
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Bugun siz uchratgan insonga siz bajamoqchi bo'lgan maqsadni aytishingizni tasavvur qiling.
00:33
Imagine their congratulations,
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Ularning tabriklarini
00:35
and their high image of you.
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va ularning siz haqidagi yuksak tasavvurini hayolingizga keltiring.
00:37
Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?
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Shu maqsadni baland ovoz bilan aytish orqali inson o'zini yaxhshi his qiladimi?
00:39
Don't you feel one step closer already,
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O'zingizni shu maqsadga allaqachon bir qadam yaqinlashgandek his qilmaysizmi?
00:42
like it's already becoming part of your identity?
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Huddi bu shaxsiyatingizning bir qismi bo'layotgandek his qilmaysizmi?
00:44
Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,
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Ho'sh, yomon xabar: og'zingizni yopib turishingiz kerak edi,
00:48
because that good feeling
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chunki o'sha yaxshi tuyg'u
00:50
now will make you less likely to do it.
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sizning o'sha ishni bajarish ehitmolingizni kamaytiradi.
00:52
The repeated psychology tests have proven
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Qayta qayta o'tkazilgan psihologik testlar isbotlaganki
00:55
that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.
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kimgadir maqsadingizni aytish
uning amalga oshish ehtimolini kamaytiradi.
00:59
Any time you have a goal,
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Har qanday paytda sizda maqsad bo'lganda,
01:00
there are some steps that need to be done,
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shu maqsadga erishish uchun
01:02
some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.
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bajarilishi kerak bo'lgan ba'zi qismlar bor, bajarilishi kerak bo'lgan ba'zi ishlar bor.
01:05
Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done the work.
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Aslida, siz ishni bajarib bo'lmaguncha qoniqmasligingiz kerak.
01:08
But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,
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Lekin siz maqsadingizni kimgadir aytsangiz va ular buni tan olsa,
01:11
psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."
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psihologlarning aytishicha,bu ijtimoiy haqiqat deb ataladi.
01:14
The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.
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Inson ongi bu maqsad amalga oshganidagidek his tuyg'uga berilib qoladi.
01:17
And then because you've felt that satisfaction,
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So'ngra, o'sha qoniqishni his qilganingiz uchun,
01:19
you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.
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asl zarur ishni bajarishga
ishtiyog'ingiz juda kam bo'ladi.
01:22
(Laughter)
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01:24
So this goes against conventional wisdom
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Hullas, biz maqsadlarimiz haqida do'stlarimizga aytishimiz kerak
01:26
that we should tell our friends our goals, right?
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degan g'oya odatiy aqlga qarshi fikr bo'lyabdi.
01:28
So they hold us to it.
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Shunday qilib, bizlarni shunga ishontirishadi.
01:31
So, let's look at the proof.
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Buning isbotiga nazar solaylik.
01:33
1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,
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1926 yilda, Kur Lewin, ijtimoiy psihologiyaning asoschisi
buni "o'rniga almashtirish" deb atadi.
01:36
called this "substitution."
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01:37
1933: Wera Mahler found when it was acknowledged by others,
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1933 yilda Vera Mahler shuni topdi:
maqsadni boshqalar tan olganda, maqsad inson fikrida haqiqiydek tuyuladi.
01:41
it felt real in the mind.
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01:42
1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this,
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1982 yilda Peter Gollwitzer bu haqida butun bir kitob yozdi
01:45
and in 2009,
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va 2009 yilda
01:46
he did some new tests that were published.
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u ba'zi yangi sinovlarni bajardi va ular nashr ham qilindi.
01:49
It goes like this:
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Bu shunday bo'ladi:
01:50
163 people across four separate tests.
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To'rtta alohida sinovlar bo'yicha 163 ta odamlar --
01:54
Everyone wrote down their personal goal.
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hamma o'zlarining maqsadlarini yozdilar.
01:56
Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,
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Ularning yarmi o'zlarining maqsadlariga bo'lgan intilishlarini aytdilar
02:00
and half didn't.
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va ularning yarmi bu haqda hech narsa deyishmadi.
02:02
Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work
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Keyin, hammaga 45 daqiqalik ish berildi.
02:04
that would directly lead them towards their goal,
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Bu ish ularni to'g'ridan to'g'ri maqsadlariga olib borar edi.
02:07
but they were told that they could stop at any time.
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Lekin, shu bilan birga ular istagan paytlarida bu berilgan ishni to'xtata olishlari mumkin ekanligi aytildi.
02:09
Now, those who kept their mouths shut
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Og'zini yopib, indamay o'tirganlar,
02:11
worked the entire 45 minutes on average,
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o'rta hisobda, to'liq 45 daqiqa ishladilar.
02:14
and when asked afterward,
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Shunda keyin, ulardan so'rashganida,
02:15
said that they felt that they had a long way to go still
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ular maqsadlariga erishishlari uchun hali ancha uzoq yo'l borligini aytdilar.
02:18
to achieve their goal.
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02:19
But those who had announced it
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Maqsadlarini boshqalarga e'lon qilganlar esa,
02:21
quit after only 33 minutes, on average,
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o'rta hisobda, 33 daqiqadan keyin ishini to'xtatishdi.
02:24
and when asked afterward,
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Bulardan so'rashganida esa,
02:25
said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.
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bular maqsadlariga erishishlariga juda ham yaqin qolganliklarini aytdilar.
02:28
So if this is true, what can we do?
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Agar bu to'g'ri bo'lsa,
biz nima qila olamiz?
02:31
Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal.
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Siz maqsadingizni boshqalarga e'lon qilishdan
o'zingizni tiyib turishingiz mumkin.
02:36
You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgment brings,
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Ijtimoiy tan olinish sizga keltiradigan
qoniqishni keyinga qoldirib turishingiz mumkin.
02:40
and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing.
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Shunday qilib, ongingiz gapirishni bajarishga adashtirishini
anglab olasiz.
02:44
But if you do need to talk about something,
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Ammo, siz biror narsa haqida gapirmoqchi bo'lsangiz,
02:47
you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction,
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siz shunday usulda aytishingiz kerakki,
bu sizga hech qanday qoniqih tuyg'usini bermasin.
02:51
such as, "I really want to run this marathon,
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masalan, "Men bu marafonda yugurishni juda xohlayman,
02:53
so I need to train five times a week
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shunig uchun men haftasiga besh marta shug'ullanishim kerak
02:55
and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"
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va, agar, shunday qilmasam, o'zimni urishim kerak, maylimi?
02:57
So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,
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Tomoshabinlar, kelasi safar sizlar maqsadingiz haqida kimgadir aytishni xohlasangiz,
03:01
what will you say?
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nima deysizlar?
03:02
(Silence)
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03:03
Exactly! Well done.
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Huddi shunday. Juda yaxshi.
03:04
(Laughter)
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03:06
(Applause)
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(Qarsaklar)
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