Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers

1,958,942 views ใƒป 2010-09-02

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ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ.

ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…: Mohamed Achraf BEN MOHAMED ุงู„ู…ุฏู‚ู‘ู‚: Anwar Dafa-Alla
ูู„ู†ููƒู‘ุฑ ุฌู…ูŠุนู†ุงุŒ ู„ูˆ ุณู…ุญุชู…
00:16
Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal.
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ููŠ ู‡ุฏููƒู… ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠู‘ ุงู„ุฃูƒุจุฑ.
00:20
For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.
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ุจุตูˆุฑุฉ ูˆุงู‚ูŠู‘ุนุฉ. ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุฃุฎุฐ ุซุงู†ูŠุฉ. ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชุดุนุฑ ุจู‡ุฐุง ู„ุชูู‡ู…ู‡.
00:23
Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?
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ุฎุฐูˆุง ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุซู‘ูˆุงู†ูŠ ูˆ ููƒู‘ุฑูˆุง ููŠ ู‡ุฏููƒู… ุงู„ุดู‘ุฎุตูŠู‘ ุงู„ุฃูƒุจุฑุŒ ุญุณู†ุงุŸ
ุชูŽุฎูŠู‘ู„ูˆุง ุฃู†ู‘ูƒู… ู‚ูŽุฑู‘ุฑู’ุชู… ู„ู„ุชูˆู‘
00:27
Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.
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ุฃู†ู‘ูƒู… ุณูˆู ุชู‚ูˆู…ูˆู† ุจุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ู‡.
00:30
Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.
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ุชุฎูŠู‘ู„ูˆุง ุฃู† ุชููู’ุตูุญููˆุง ุจู…ุง ูƒู†ุชู… ุชูŽู†ู’ูˆููˆู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุชู„ุชู‚ูˆู†ู‡ ุงู„ูŠูˆู… .
00:33
Imagine their congratulations,
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ุชูŽุฎูŠู‘ู„ูˆุง ุชูŽู‡ุงู†ูŠู‡ู… ู„ูƒู…
00:35
and their high image of you.
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ูˆุงู„ุตูˆุฑุฉ ุงู„ุฌูŠู‘ุฏุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุญู…ู„ูˆู†ู‡ุง ู„ูƒู… ููŠ ุฃุฐู‡ุงู†ู‡ู….
00:37
Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?
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ุฃู„ูŠุณ ุฃู…ุฑุง ุฑุงุฆุนุง ุฃู† ู†ููู’ุตุญ ุจุฐู„ูƒ ุจุตูˆุช ุนุงู„ุŸ
00:39
Don't you feel one step closer already,
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ุฃู„ุง ูŠุฌุนู„ูƒ ุฐู„ูƒ ุชุดุนุฑ ุฃู†ู‘ูƒ ุฃู‚ุฑุจ ู„ุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ ุงู„ู‡ุฏูุŒ
00:42
like it's already becoming part of your identity?
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ูˆุฃู†ู‘ ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุตุจุญ ุฌุฒุกุง ู…ู† ู‡ูŽูˆููŠู‘ุชูƒุŸ
00:44
Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,
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ุญุณู†ุŒ ุฃุฎุจุงุฑ ุณูŠู‘ุฆุฉุŒ ูƒุงู† ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชูุจู‚ูŠ ููŽู…ูƒ ู…ูุบู„ู‚ุงุŒ
00:48
because that good feeling
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ู„ุฃู†ู‘ ู…ู† ุดุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุดู‘ุนูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฑู‘ุงุฆุนุŒ
00:50
now will make you less likely to do it.
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ุฃู† ูŠูู‚ู„ู‘ู„ ู…ู† ุญุธูˆุธูƒ ููŠ ุชูŽุญู‚ูŠู‚ู‡.
00:52
The repeated psychology tests have proven
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ุฃุซุจุชุช ุงู„ุชู‘ุฌุงุฑุจ ุงู„ุณู‘ูŠูƒูˆู„ูˆุฌูŠู‘ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุชูƒุฑู‘ุฑุฉ ุฃู†ู‘
00:55
that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.
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ุฅุฎุจุงุฑ ุฃุญุฏ ู…ุง ุจู‡ุฏููƒ
ูŠูู‚ู„ู‘ู„ ู…ู† ุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูŠู‘ุฉ ุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ู‡.
00:59
Any time you have a goal,
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ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฏูุŒ
01:00
there are some steps that need to be done,
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ู‡ู†ุงู„ูƒ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฎุทูˆุงุช ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชุนูŠู‘ู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ุงุŒ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุชุนูŠู‘ู† ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡
01:02
some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.
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ู…ู† ุฃุฌู„ ุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ู‡.
01:05
Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done the work.
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ูˆู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุญูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุซุงู„ูŠุฉุŒ ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ู„ุง ุชุดุนุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑู‘ุถุง ุญุชู‰ ุชู†ุฌุฒ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุจุงู„ูุนู„ุŒ
01:08
But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชุจูˆุญ ู„ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุจู‡ุฏููƒุŒ ูˆูŠุนุชุฑููˆู† ุจู‡ุŒ
01:11
psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."
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ุฅูƒุชุดู ุนู„ู…ุงุก ุงู„ู†ูุณ ุฃู†ู‘ ู‡ุฐุง ูŠูุฏุนู‰ ูˆุงู‚ุนุง ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠุง.
01:14
The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.
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ูŠู‚ุน ู…ุง ูŠูุดู’ุจู‡ ุฎูุฏูŽุงุนูŒ ู„ู„ุนู‚ู„ ุจุงู„ุดู‘ุนูˆุฑ ุจุฃู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุชู…ู‘ ุจุงู„ูุนู„.
01:17
And then because you've felt that satisfaction,
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ูˆุจุงู„ุชู‘ุงู„ูŠุŒ ูˆู„ุฃู†ู‘ู‡ ุญุตู„ ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุดุนูˆุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑู‘ุถู‰ุŒ
01:19
you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.
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ูุฅู†ู‘ูƒ ุชูƒูˆู† ุฃู‚ู„ู‘ ุชุญููŠุฒุง ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู…
ุจุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุงู„ุดุงู‚ู‘ ุงู„ุถู‘ุฑูˆุฑูŠ.
01:22
(Laughter)
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01:24
So this goes against conventional wisdom
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุชุนุงุฑุถ ู…ุน ุงู„ุญูƒู…ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุฃู†ู‘ู‡
01:26
that we should tell our friends our goals, right?
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ุนู„ูŠู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ูุฎุจุฑ ุฃุตุฏู‚ุงุฆู†ุง ุจุฃู‡ุฏุงูู†ุงุŒ ุฃู„ูŠุณ ูƒุฐู„ูƒุŸ --
01:28
So they hold us to it.
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ุจุญูŠุซ ูŠุฏูุนูˆู†ู†ุง ู„ู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ุŒ ู†ุนู….
01:31
So, let's look at the proof.
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ุฏุนูˆู†ุง ู†ูู„ู‚ูŠ ู†ุธุฑุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฏู‘ู„ูŠู„.
01:33
1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,
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ููŠ ุณู†ุฉ 1926ุŒ ู‚ุงู… "ูƒูˆุฑุช ู„ูŠููŠู†"ุŒ ู…ูุคุณุณ ุนู„ู… ุงู„ู†ูุณ ุงู„ุงุฌุชู…ุงุนูŠุŒ
ุจุฅุทู„ุงู‚ ุฅุณู… "ุงู„ุฅุณุชุนุงุถุฉ" ุนู† ู‡ุฐุง.
01:36
called this "substitution."
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01:37
1933: Wera Mahler found when it was acknowledged by others,
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ูˆููŠ ุณู†ุฉ 1933ุŒ ูˆุฌุฏุช "ูˆูŠุฑุง ู…ุงู‡ู„ุฑ"ุŒ
ุฃู†ู‘ู‡ ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูŠูƒูˆู† ู…ุนู„ูˆู…ุง ู…ู† ู‚ูุจู„ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†ุŒ ูุฅู†ู‘ ุงู„ุดู‘ุนูˆุฑ ูŠุชุฑุณู‘ุฎ ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุนู‚ู„.
01:41
it felt real in the mind.
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01:42
1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this,
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ููŠ ุณู†ุฉ 1982 ุฃู„ู‘ู "ุจูŠุชุฑ ุบูู„ู’ูˆุชุฒุฑ" ูƒุชุงุจุง ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุงุŒ
01:45
and in 2009,
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ูˆููŠ ุณู†ุฉ 2009ุŒ
01:46
he did some new tests that were published.
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ู‚ุงู… ุจุจุนุถ ุงู„ุชู‘ุฌุงุฑุจ ุงู„ุฌุฏูŠุฏุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู… ู†ุดุฑู‡ุง
01:49
It goes like this:
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ูˆุชูุตูŠู„ู‡ุง ูƒุงู„ุขุชูŠ:
01:50
163 people across four separate tests.
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ุดุงุฑูƒ 163 ุดุฎุตุง ููŠ ุฃุฑุจุน ุชุฌุงุฑุจ ู…ุชูุฑู‘ู‚ุฉ --
01:54
Everyone wrote down their personal goal.
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ุฏูŽูˆู‘ูŽู†ูŽ ูƒูู„ู‘ูŒ ู…ู†ู‡ู… ู‡ุฏูู‡ ุงู„ุดู‘ุฎุตูŠู‘ุŒ
01:56
Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,
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ุซูู… ู‚ุงู… ู†ูุตูู‡ู… ุจุงู„ุฅุนู„ุงู† ุฃู…ุงู… ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ุนู† ุงูู„ุชูุฒุงู…ู‡ู… ุจุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู‡ุฏู
02:00
and half didn't.
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ูˆุฃู…ู‘ุง ุงู„ู†ู‘ุตู ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ูู„ู… ูŠูุนู„.
02:02
Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work
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ุซูู…ู‘ ุชูŽู…ู‘ ุฅุนุทุงุก ูƒู„ู‘ ู…ู†ู‡ู… 45 ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ู„ุฅู†ุฌุงุฒ ุงู„ุนู…ู„
02:04
that would directly lead them towards their goal,
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ูˆุงู„ุชู‘ูŠ ู…ู† ุดุฃู†ู‡ุง ุฃู† ุชุคุฏูŠ ู…ุจุงุดุฑุฉ ู„ู„ูˆุตูˆู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ู‡ุฏูู‡ู…ุŒ
02:07
but they were told that they could stop at any time.
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ู‘ ุชู…ู‘ ุฅุฎุจุงุฑู‡ู… ุจุฃู†ู‘ ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ู‡ู… ุงู„ุชูˆู‚ู‘ู ู…ุชู‰ ุดุงุคูˆุง ุฐู„ูƒ.
02:09
Now, those who kept their mouths shut
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ุงู„ุขู†ุŒ ุฃูˆู„ุฆูƒ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุญุงูุธูˆุง ุนู„ู‰ ุฃููˆุงู‡ู‡ู… ู…ุบู„ู‚ุฉ
02:11
worked the entire 45 minutes on average,
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ุงุดุชุบู„ูˆุงุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุชูˆุณุทุŒ ุทูˆุงู„ ุงู„ู€45 ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ุงู„ู…ู…ู†ูˆุญุฉ ู„ู‡ู…ุŒ
02:14
and when asked afterward,
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูŽู…ู‘ ุณูุคุงู„ู‡ู… ุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ
02:15
said that they felt that they had a long way to go still
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ุฃูƒู‘ุฏูˆุง ุฃู†ู‘ู‡ู… ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ุฃู†ู‘ ุฃู…ุงู…ู‡ู… ูˆู‚ุช ุทูˆูŠู„ ู„ุจู„ูˆุบ ู‡ุฏูู‡ู….
02:18
to achieve their goal.
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02:19
But those who had announced it
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ูˆ ู„ูƒู† ุฃูˆู„ุฆูƒ ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ุฃุนู„ู†ูˆุง ุฐู„ูƒ
02:21
quit after only 33 minutes, on average,
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ุชุฎู„ู‘ูˆุง ุนู† ุงู„ุนู…ู„ุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุชูˆุณู‘ุทุŒ ุจุนุฏ ู…ุถูŠู‘ 33 ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉุŒ
02:24
and when asked afterward,
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ูˆุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุชูŽู…ู‘ ุณูุคุงู„ู‡ู… ุจุนุฏ ุฐู„ูƒุŒ
02:25
said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.
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ุฃูƒู‘ุฏูˆุง ุฃู†ู‘ู‡ู… ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ูŠุดุนุฑูˆู† ุฃู†ู‘ู‡ู… ุฃู‚ุฑุจ ุฅู„ู‰ ุชุญู‚ูŠู‚ ู‡ุฏูู‡ู….
02:28
So if this is true, what can we do?
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ู„ุฐุงุŒ ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุตุญูŠุญุงุŒ
ู…ุงุฐุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ูุนู„ุŸ
02:31
Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal.
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ุญุณู†ุงุŒ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ู…ู‚ุงูˆู…ุฉ ุฅุบุฑุงุก
ุงู„ุฅุนู„ุงู† ุนู† ู‡ุฏููƒ.
02:36
You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgment brings,
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุชุฃุฌูŠู„ ุญุงู„ุฉ ุงู„ุดู‘ุนูˆุฑ ุงู„ุฑู‘ุถู‰
ุงู„ุชู‘ูŠ ูŠุฌู„ุจู‡ุง ุงู„ุฅุนุชุฑุงู.
02:40
and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing.
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชูู‡ู… ุฃู† ุนู‚ู„ูƒ
ูŠูุฎุทุฆ ูู‡ู… ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุงู„ุนู…ู„.
02:44
But if you do need to talk about something,
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุช ุชุฑูŠุฏ ุงู„ุญุฏูŠุซ ุนู† ุดูŠุก ู…ุงุŒ
02:47
you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction,
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชูุตุฑู‘ุญ ุจู‡ ุจุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ
ู„ุง ุชู…ู†ุญูƒ ุฃูŠู‘ ุดุนูˆุฑ ุจุงู„ุฑู‘ุถู‰ุŒ
02:51
such as, "I really want to run this marathon,
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ูƒูŽุฃูŽู†ู’ ุชู‚ูˆู„ุŒ "ุฃูˆุฏู‘ ุญู‚ู‘ุง ุฃู† ุฃุดุงุฑูƒ ููŠ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ุงุฑุงุซูˆู†ุŒ
02:53
so I need to train five times a week
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ูŠู‘ ุฃู† ุฃุชู…ุฑู‘ู† ุฎู…ุณ ู…ุฑู‘ุงุช ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุณุจูˆุนุŒ
02:55
and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"
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ูˆู‚ู… ุจูุฑูŽูƒู’ู„ ู…ูุคุฎู‘ุฑุชูŠ ุฅู† ู„ู… ุฃูุนู„ุŒ ุงุชู‘ูู‚ู†ุงุŸ"
02:57
So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,
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ู„ุฐุง ุฃูŠู‘ู‡ุง ุงู„ุฌู…ู‡ูˆุฑุŒ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุฑู‘ุฉ ุงู„ู‚ุงุฏู…ุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ุชู…ูŠู„ูˆู† ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ู‰ ุฅุฎุจุงุฑ ุฃุญุฏ ู…ุง ุจู‡ุฏููƒู…ุŒ
03:01
what will you say?
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ู…ุงุฐุง ุณุชู‚ูˆู„ูˆู†ุŸ
03:02
(Silence)
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03:03
Exactly! Well done.
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ุจุงู„ุถุจุท. ุฃุญุณู†ุชู… ุตู†ุนุง.
03:04
(Laughter)
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03:06
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

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