Keep your goals to yourself | Derek Sivers

Translator: Ahmed Omer Reviewer: dagim zerihun

Everyone, please think of your biggest personal goal.

እባካቹ! ሁላችሁም አንዴ ታላቁ ግባቸሁን አስቡት

For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.

Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?

ቁምነገር ነው! ትንሽ ጊዜ ውሰዱ፡፡ ለመረዳት ከልብ ሊሰማችሁ ይገባል

Imagine deciding right now that you're going to do it.

ትንሽ ጊዜ ውሰዱና ታላቁ ግባችሁን አስቡት፡፡ እሺ?

Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.

አሁን እየወሰናችሁ እንደሆነ አስቡት

Imagine their congratulations,

ልትፈፅሙት እንደሆነ

and their high image of you.

ዛሬ ያገኛችሁትን ሰው ምን ልታደርጉ እንደሆነ ስትነግሩት ሳሉት

Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?

ሲያሞግሳችሁ ሳሉት

Don't you feel one step closer already,

ለናንተ የሚኖረውን ትልቅ ክብር ጨምሮ

like it's already becoming part of your identity?

ጮክ ብሎ መናገር ደስ አያሰኝም?

Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,

እንደተቃረባቹ አልተሰማችሁም?

because that good feeling

ልክ ከማንነቶ ጋር የተዋሀደ ያህል?

now will make you less likely to do it.

መጥፎ ዜና አለ ግን፤ አፋችሁን በዘጋችሁ ምንአለበት

The repeated psychology tests have proven

ምክንያቱም ይሄ ደስ የሚል ስሜት

that telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen.

እንዳተገብሩት ያደርጋቹሀል

Any time you have a goal,

በተደጋጋሚ የተካሄዱ የሳይኮሎጂ ጥናቶች እንዳሳዩት

there are some steps that need to be done,

ለሰው ዓላማዎን ማሳወቅ

some work that needs to be done in order to achieve it.

የማሳካት እድሎን ይቀንሰዋል

Ideally you would not be satisfied until you'd actually done the work.

በየትኛውም ጊዜ ዓላማ ቢኖሮት

But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,

መፈፀም የሚኖርባቸው ጉዳዮች አሉ

psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."

ማሳካት እንዲችሉ ዘንድ

The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.

በሀሳብ ደረጃ፤ ስራው ካላለቀ አይረኩም

And then because you've felt that satisfaction,

ግን ለሰው ካሳወቁና አድናቆትም ካገኙበት

you're less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.

ሳይኮሎጂስቶች ይህን ‹ማህበራዊ እውነታ› ተብሎ እንደሚጠራ ደርሰውበታል

(Laughter)

አእምሮዋችን ነገርየው ተከናውኖ ያለቀ ይመሰለውና ይታለላል

So this goes against conventional wisdom

እናም ያቺን ደስታ ስላገኙ

that we should tell our friends our goals, right?

ተነሳሽነቶ ይቀንሳል

So they hold us to it.

በተግባር ታትሮ መስራት ግድ ይላል (ሳቅ)

So, let's look at the proof.

እናም ከተለምዶ አመለካከት ወጣ ያለ ነው

1926: Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,

ለጓደኞቻችን ዓላማችንን ማሳወቅ የሚባለው ጉዳይ

called this "substitution."

ቃላችንን እንዳናፈርስ ይይዙናል ይባላል

1933: Wera Mahler found when it was acknowledged by others,

እስኪ ማስረጃውን እንይ

it felt real in the mind.

የሶሻል ሳይኮሎጂ አባት ከርት ለዊን በ1926 እ.አ.አ

1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this,

‹መተካካት› ብሎ ሰይሞታል

and in 2009,

በ1933 ቬራ ማለር

he did some new tests that were published.

በሰው ተቀባይነት ሲያገኝ አእምሮዋችን እውነት ይመስለዋል ብላለች

It goes like this:

በ1982 ፒተር ጎልዊትዘር በዚህ ዙሪያ መጸሀፍ ፅፏል

163 people across four separate tests.

በ2009

Everyone wrote down their personal goal.

አዳዲስ ሙከራ በማድረግ ስራዎቹን አሳትሟል

Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,

እንዲህ ይላል …

and half didn't.

160 ሰዎች በአራት በተለያዩ ፈተናዎች

Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work

ሁሉም የየራሱን ዓላማ

that would directly lead them towards their goal,

በፅሁፍ አሰፈረ

but they were told that they could stop at any time.

ግማሾቹ ለዓላማቸው ያላቸውን ፅኑ አቋም በክፍል ውስጥ ለሚገኙት አወጁ

Now, those who kept their mouths shut

የተቀሩት ግማሾቹ ጸጥ አሉ

worked the entire 45 minutes on average,

ሁሉም በ45 ደቂቃ ውስጥ

and when asked afterward,

ወደ ዓላማቸው የሚወስዷቸውን ሀሳቦች እንዲሰሩባቸው

said that they felt that they had a long way to go still

በፈለጉት ሰዓት ግን እዲያቆሙ ተነገራቸው

to achieve their goal.

እነዛ ጸጥ ረጭ ያሉት

But those who had announced it

45 ደቂቃውን ሙሉ በአማካይ ሲሰሩ ቆዩ

quit after only 33 minutes, on average,

ከዛም በኋላ ሲጠየቁ

and when asked afterward,

ዓላማቸውን ለማሳካት ገና ብዙ እንደሚቀራቸው ነው የተናገሩት

said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.

እነዛ የተናገሩት ግን

So if this is true, what can we do?

በአማካይ 33 ደቂቃ ከሰሩ በኋላ አቋረጡ

Well, you could resist the temptation to announce your goal.

ከዛም በኋላ ሲጠየቁ

You can delay the gratification that the social acknowledgment brings,

ዓላማቸውን ለማሳካት እጅግ በጣም እንደተቃረቡ ተናግረዋል

and you can understand that your mind mistakes the talking for the doing.

ይሄ እውነት ከሆነ፤

But if you do need to talk about something,

ምን ማድረግ እንችላለን?

you can state it in a way that gives you no satisfaction,

ዓላማን የማወጅ ፈተናን መቋቋም

such as, "I really want to run this marathon,

በ

so I need to train five times a week

ማህበራዊ ሙገሳ የሚያመጣውን ደስታ ማዘግየት ይቻላል

and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"

በ

So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,

ሊረዱት ይችላሉ

what will you say?

አእምሮዎ መናገር ማድረግ መስሎት ሊታየው ይችላል

(Silence)

መነጋር አለብኝ የሚሉ ከሆነ ግን

Exactly! Well done.

ብዙም ደስታ በማይሰጦት መልኩ መግለፅ ይችላሉ

(Laughter)

በ

(Applause)

ለምሳሌ ‹በዚ ማራቶን መሳተፍ በጣም እፈልጋለሁ፤