Laura Trice: The power of saying thank you

Prevodilac: Ivana Korom Lektor: Sandra Gojic

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of

Zdravo. Ovde sam da bih vam pričala o važnosti

praise, admiration and thank you,

pohvale, divljenja i zahvalnosti

and having it be specific and genuine.

i kako to mora da bude posebno i iskreno.

And the way I got interested in this was,

Za ovo sam se zainteresovala tako što

I noticed in myself, when I was growing up,

sam primetila, dok sam odrastala,

and until about a few years ago,

i do pre nekoliko godina,

that I would want to say thank you to someone,

da bih želela nekom da kažem "hvala",

I would want to praise them,

želela bih da ih pohvalim,

I would want to take in their praise of me

da oni mene pohvale,

and I'd just stop it.

i samo bih se zaustavila.

And I asked myself, why?

I zapitala sam se, zašto?

I felt shy, I felt embarrassed.

Osećala sam stid, posramljenost.

And then my question became,

I onda je moje pitanje postalo,

am I the only one who does this?

da li sam ja jedina koja to radi?

So, I decided to investigate.

Pa sam odlučila da to istražim.

I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility,

Imam sreće da radim u rehabilitacionoj ustanovi,

so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction.

pa viđam ljude koji se sa zavisnošću suočavaju sa životom i smrću.

And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as,

Ponekad je u pitanju nešto tako jednostavno kao npr da je

their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them.

njihova najveća rana to što im je otac umro, a da nikada nije rekao koliko je ponosan na njih.

But then, they hear from all the family and friends

Ali onda od cele porodice i prijatelja saznaju

that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him,

kako je otac svima drugima rekao koliko je ponosan na sina,

but he never told the son.

ali to njemu nikada nije rekao.

It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.

To je zato što nije znao da je njegovom sinu bilo potrebno da to čuje.

So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need?

Dakle, moje pitanje je, zašto ne tražimo stvari koje su nam potrebne?

I know a gentleman, married for 25 years,

Znam jednog gospodina koji je 25 godina u braku

who's longing to hear his wife say,

i koji žudi za tim da njegova žena kaže,

"Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,"

"Hvala ti što donosiš hleb na sto, kako bih ja mogla da budem kod kuće sa decom",

but won't ask.

ali ne želi da pita.

I know a woman who's good at this.

Znam jednu ženu koja je dobra u ovome.

She, once a week, meets with her husband and says,

Ona se jednom nedeljno sastaje sa svojim mužem i kaže,

"I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids."

"Zaista bih volela da mi zahvališ na svim stvarima koje radim u kući i oko dece."

And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great."

A on kaže, "O, ovo je super, ovo je super."

And praise really does have to be genuine,

A pohvala zaista mora da bude iskrena,

but she takes responsibility for that.

a ona preuzima odgovornost za nju.

And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten,

Jedna moja prijateljica, Ejpril, koju znam od obdaništa,

she thanks her children for doing their chores.

zahvaljuje svojoj deci na obavljanju kućnih poslova.

And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"

I kaže, "Zašto im se ne bih zahvalila, iako i treba da ih rade?"

So, the question is, why was I blocking it?

Dakle, pitanje je, zašto sam ja to blokirala?

Why were other people blocking it?

Zašto su drugi ljudi blokirali?

Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare,

Zašto mogu da kažem, "Želim srednje pečen biftek,

I need size six shoes," but I won't say,

trebaju mi cipele broj 37", ali neću reći

"Would you praise me this way?"

"Da li biste me pohvalili na ovaj način?"

And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me.

A to je zato što vam dajem bitne podatke o sebi.

I'm telling you where I'm insecure.

Govorim vam gde sam nesigurna.

I'm telling you where I need your help.

Govorim vam gde mi je potrebna vaša pomoć.

And I'm treating you, my inner circle,

I vas, svoj najuži krug,

like you're the enemy.

tretiram kao neprijatelja.

Because what can you do with that data?

Jer, šta vi možete sa tim informacijama?

You could neglect me.

Možete da me zapostavite.

You could abuse it.

Možete da ih zloupotrebite.

Or you could actually meet my need.

Ili možete stvarno da mi izađete u susret.

And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this --

Odvezla sam bajs u servis - obožavam ovo -

same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels.

isti bajs i oni su uradili balansiranje točkova

The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels,

Momak je rekao, "Znate, kad izbalansirate točkove,

it's going to make the bike so much better."

bajs će biti mnogo bolji."

I get the same bike back,

Vratili su mi isti bajs,

and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels

i izravnali su sve neravnine iz tih istih točkova

I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new.

koje imam dve ipo godine i bajs je kao nov.

So, I'm going to challenge all of you.

Imam jedan izazov za vas.

I want you to true your wheels:

Želim da izbalansirate svoje točkove:

be honest about the praise that you need to hear.

budite iskreni u vezi sa pohvalama koje vam je potrebno da čujete.

What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife --

Šta vam je potrebno da čujete? Idite kući svojoj ženi,

go ask her, what does she need?

pitajte je, šta je njoj potrebno?

Go home to your husband -- what does he need?

Idite kući svom mužu - šta je njemu potrebno?

Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

Idite kući, postavite ta pitanja i onda pomozite ljudima oko sebe.

And it's simple.

To je jednostavno.

And why should we care about this?

A zašto bi trebalo da nam je stalo do ovoga?

We talk about world peace.

Govorimo o miru u svetu.

How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages?

Kako da imamo mir na svetu, među različitim kulturama, jezicima?

I think it starts household by household, under the same roof.

Mislim da to počinje od kuće do kuće, pod istim krovom.

So, let's make it right in our own backyard.

Hajde da krenemo od sopstvenog dvorišta.

And I want to thank all of you in the audience

Želim da zahvalim svima vama u publici

for being great husbands, great mothers,

zato što ste odlični muževi, majke,

friends, daughters, sons.

prijatelji, ćerke, sinovi.

And maybe somebody's never said that to you,

Možda vam niko nikada nije to rekao,

but you've done a really, really good job.

ali odlični ste u tome.

And thank you for being here, just showing up

I hvala vam što ste ovde, što ste došli

and changing the world with your ideas.

i što menjate svet svojim idejama.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(aplauz)