Laura Trice: The power of saying thank you

Translator: Guillermo Parra Reviewer: Jessica Nadine Sachs

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of

Hola. He vingut a parlar-vos de la importància dels elogis,

praise, admiration and thank you,

de l'admiració i de donar les gràcies, i de fer-ho

and having it be specific and genuine.

de forma concreta i genuïna.

And the way I got interested in this was,

Em vaig interessar per aquest tema

I noticed in myself, when I was growing up,

quan vaig descobrir que, des que era petita

and until about a few years ago,

i fins fa uns anys,

that I would want to say thank you to someone,

volia donar les gràcies a la gent,

I would want to praise them,

volia elogiar-la

I would want to take in their praise of me

i rebre els seus elogis,

and I'd just stop it.

però no era capaç de fer-ho.

And I asked myself, why?

I em preguntava: Per què?

I felt shy, I felt embarrassed.

Tenia por de fer-ho, m'avergonyia.

And then my question became,

I llavors em vaig preguntar:

am I the only one who does this?

Sóc l'única a qui li passa?

So, I decided to investigate.

Així que vaig decidir investigar-ho.

I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility,

Sóc prou afortunada com per treballar en una clínica de rehabilitació,

so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction.

on puc veure gent que es debat entre la vida i la mort per la seva addicció.

And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as,

I de vegades el seu trauma es redueix a una cosa tan simple

their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them.

com que el seu pare va morir sense dir-los que estava orgullós d'ells.

But then, they hear from all the family and friends

I llavors descobreixen pels amics i la família

that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him,

que el seu pare li ho havia dit a tothom,

but he never told the son.

però mai a ells.

It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.

Això és perquè no sabia que el seu fill necessitava sentir-ho.

So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need?

La meva pregunta és: Per què no demanem el que necessitem?

I know a gentleman, married for 25 years,

Conec un senyor, casat des de fa 25 anys,

who's longing to hear his wife say,

que està desitjant que la seva dona li digui:

"Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,"

"Gràcies per sustentar-nos. Així puc ser a casa amb els nens".

but won't ask.

Però no ho demana.

I know a woman who's good at this.

Conec una dona que té facilitat per això.

She, once a week, meets with her husband and says,

Un cop per setmana, parla amb el seu marit i li diu:

"I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids."

"M'encantaria que m'agraïssis tot el que he fet a la casa i amb els nens.

And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great."

I ell li respon: "Ah, fantàstic, molt ben fet."

And praise really does have to be genuine,

Els elogis han de ser genuïns,

but she takes responsibility for that.

però ella se n'encarrega.

And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten,

I April, una amiga que tinc de tota la vida,

she thanks her children for doing their chores.

agraeix als seus fills que ajudin a casa. Em diu:

And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"

"Per què no els ho hauria d'agrair, encara que sigui la seva obligació."

So, the question is, why was I blocking it?

Per què jo ho estava evitant?

Why were other people blocking it?

O els altres?

Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare,

Per què puc dir "vull el filet mig cru",

I need size six shoes," but I won't say,

o "necessito sabates de la talla 38", però no dic

"Would you praise me this way?"

"podries elogiar-me de tal manera"?

And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me.

I és perquè així us estic donant informació delicada sobre mi.

I'm telling you where I'm insecure.

Us indico amb què em sento insegura,

I'm telling you where I need your help.

on necessito ajuda.

And I'm treating you, my inner circle,

I us tracto a vosaltres, el meu cercle íntim,

like you're the enemy.

com el meu enemic.

Because what can you do with that data?

Perquè, què podríeu fer amb aquesta informació?

You could neglect me.

Podríeu ignorar-me.

You could abuse it.

Us en podríeu aprofitar.

Or you could actually meet my need.

O també podríeu satisfer la meva necessitat.

And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this --

Un dia vaig portar la bici a arreglar,

same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels.

i em van dir que havien d'ajustar els radis.

The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels,

El paio em va dir: "Si ajustes els radis,

it's going to make the bike so much better."

la teva bici anirà molt millor."

I get the same bike back,

Em van tornar la mateixa bici.

and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels

Havien reparat les descompensacions que s'havien produït

I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new.

a les rodes durant dos anys i mig, i la bici va quedar com nova.

So, I'm going to challenge all of you.

Així que us proposo un repte.

I want you to true your wheels:

Vull que us ajusteu els radis:

be honest about the praise that you need to hear.

Sigueu francs sobre el reconeixement que necessiteu tenir.

What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife --

Què necessiteu que us diguin? Aneu a la vostra dona,

go ask her, what does she need?

i pregunteu-li què necessita.

Go home to your husband -- what does he need?

O al vostre marit.

Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

Pregunteu aquestes coses a casa, i ajudaran la gent que us envolta.

And it's simple.

És així de fàcil.

And why should we care about this?

I per què ens ha d'importar?

We talk about world peace.

Parlem de la pau mundial,

How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages?

però com podem trobar l'harmonia entre diferents països i cultures?

I think it starts household by household, under the same roof.

Crec que s'ha de començar casa per casa, ajudant els que viuen amb tu.

So, let's make it right in our own backyard.

Arreglem tots el nostre jardí.

And I want to thank all of you in the audience

I vull donar-vos les gràcies com a públic,

for being great husbands, great mothers,

per ser bons marits, bones mares,

friends, daughters, sons.

bons amics, fills i filles.

And maybe somebody's never said that to you,

I potser no us ho han dit mai,

but you've done a really, really good job.

però ho heu fet molt bé.

And thank you for being here, just showing up

Gràcies per ser aquí, per venir

and changing the world with your ideas.

i canviar el món amb les vostres idees.

Thank you.

Gràcies.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)