Laura Trice: The power of saying thank you

Prevoditelj: Mislav Ante Omazić - EFZG Recezent: Predrag Pale

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of

Bok. Ovdje sam kako bih vam pričala o važnosti

praise, admiration and thank you,

pohvale, divljenja i zahvalnosti,

and having it be specific and genuine.

i kako bi to moralo biti specifično i iskreno.

And the way I got interested in this was,

To me je zainteresiralo

I noticed in myself, when I was growing up,

tako što sam kod sebe primjetila, dok sam odrastala,

and until about a few years ago,

i sve do prije nekoliko godina,

that I would want to say thank you to someone,

kako bih poželjela nekome reći "hvala ti",

I would want to praise them,

voljela bih pohvaliti ih,

I would want to take in their praise of me

i voljela bih da oni mene pohvale,

and I'd just stop it.

a onda bih se zaustavila.

And I asked myself, why?

I zapitala sam se, zašto je tako?

I felt shy, I felt embarrassed.

Osjetila bih stid, osjetila bih sram.

And then my question became,

I onda sam se zapitala

am I the only one who does this?

jesam li ja jedina koja se tako osjeća?

So, I decided to investigate.

Tako sam odlučila to istražiti.

I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility,

Imam sreće što radim u rehabilitacijskoj ustanovi,

so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction.

pa viđam ljude koji se suočavaju sa životom i smrću s ovišnošću.

And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as,

I ponekad se sve svodi na nešto jednostavno poput,

their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them.

da je njihova najdublja rana to što im je otac umro bez da je rekao koliko je ponosan na njih.

But then, they hear from all the family and friends

Ali onda su čuli od cijele obitelji i prijatelja

that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him,

kako je otac rekao svima drugima koliko je ponosan na njega,

but he never told the son.

ali to nikada nije rekao svom sinu.

It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.

To je zato jer nije znao koliko je njegovom sinu potrebno da to čuje.

So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need?

Dakle, moje pitanje je, zašto ne tražimo stvari koje su nam potrebne?

I know a gentleman, married for 25 years,

Znam gospodina koji je u braku 25 godina

who's longing to hear his wife say,

koji žudi da njegova žena kaže,

"Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,"

"Hvala ti što donosiš kruh na stol, kako bih ja mogla ostati s djecom kod kuće",

but won't ask.

ali ne pita.

I know a woman who's good at this.

Znam ženu koja je dobra u tome.

She, once a week, meets with her husband and says,

Ona se, jednom tjedno, sretne s mužem i kaže,

"I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids."

"Željela bih da mi se zahvališ za sve te stvari koje radim u kući i s djecom."

And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great."

A on kaže, "Oh, to je sjajno, to je sjajno."

And praise really does have to be genuine,

Pohvala mora biti iskrena,

but she takes responsibility for that.

ali ona preuzima odgovornost za to.

And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten,

Jedna moja prijateljica, April, koju znam još iz vrtića,

she thanks her children for doing their chores.

zahvaljuje svojoj djeci jer obavljaju kućne poslove.

And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"

I ona kaže, "Zašto im ne bih zahvaljivala, premda im je to obvezai?!"

So, the question is, why was I blocking it?

Dakle pitanje je, zašto sam ja to blokirala?

Why were other people blocking it?

Zašto su to drugi ljudi blokirali?

Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare,

Zašto mogu reči, "Uzeti ću srednje pečeni odrezak,

I need size six shoes," but I won't say,

trebam cipele broj 36", ali ne želim reči,

"Would you praise me this way?"

"Možeš li me pohvaliti na ovaj način?"

And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me.

To je zato što vam dajem kritične informacije o sebi.

I'm telling you where I'm insecure.

Govorim vam gdje sam nesigurna.

I'm telling you where I need your help.

Govorim vam gdje mi je potrebna vaša pomoć.

And I'm treating you, my inner circle,

I tretiram vas, svoj najuži krug,

like you're the enemy.

kao da ste mi neprijatelji.

Because what can you do with that data?

Jer što vi možete napraviti s tim podacima?

You could neglect me.

Možete me zanemariti.

You could abuse it.

Možete ih zloupotrijebiti.

Or you could actually meet my need.

Ili možete odgovoriti mojim potrebama.

And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this --

I tako sam odvezla svoj bicikl u servis -- volim ovo --

same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels.

isti bicikl, i oni su mi izbalansirali kotače.

The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels,

Dečko mi je rekao, "Znate kada izbalansirate kotače

it's going to make the bike so much better."

bicikl će vam biti znatno bolji."

I get the same bike back,

Dobila sam isti bicikl nazad,

and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels

a oni su izravnali sve male neravnine na kotačima

I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new.

koje sam imala dvije i pol godine, i sad je moj bicikl kao nov.

So, I'm going to challenge all of you.

Zato ću vas sada sve izazvati.

I want you to true your wheels:

Želim da izbalansirate svoje kotače:

be honest about the praise that you need to hear.

budite iskreni o pohvalama koje želite čuti.

What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife --

Što želite čuti? Odite kući svojoj ženi

go ask her, what does she need?

idite i pitajte ju, što točno ona treba?

Go home to your husband -- what does he need?

Odite kući svom mužu -- što točno on treba?

Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

Odite kući i postavite ta pitanja, te pomozite ljudima oko sebe.

And it's simple.

I to je jednostavno.

And why should we care about this?

A zašto bismo o tome trebali brinuti?

We talk about world peace.

Govorimo o miru u svijetu.

How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages?

Kako možemo imati svjetski mir s različitim kulturama, različitim jezicima?

I think it starts household by household, under the same roof.

Mislim da to počinje od kućanstva do kućanstva, pod istim krovom.

So, let's make it right in our own backyard.

Zato krenimo od vlastitog dvorišta.

And I want to thank all of you in the audience

I želim vam svima u publici zahvaliti

for being great husbands, great mothers,

što ste sjajni muževi, sjajne majke,

friends, daughters, sons.

prijatelji, kćeri, sinovi.

And maybe somebody's never said that to you,

I možda vam to nitko nikada nije rekao,

but you've done a really, really good job.

ali napravili ste stvarno, stvarno dobar posao.

And thank you for being here, just showing up

I hvala vam što ste ovdje, što ste se pojavili

and changing the world with your ideas.

i što želite promijeniti svijet svojim idejama.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)