Laura Trice: The power of saying thank you

Translator: Barbora Pucikova Reviewer: Janka Pazurikova

Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of

Ahojte. Prišla som hovoriť o dôležitosti

praise, admiration and thank you,

pochvaly, obdivu a vďaky,

and having it be specific and genuine.

a o tom, aké je podstatné, aby boli priame a nefalšované.

And the way I got interested in this was,

Tieto veci ma začali zaujímať,

I noticed in myself, when I was growing up,

keď som vyrastala a všimla som si sama na sebe,

and until about a few years ago,

a to bolo až do pár rokov dozadu,

that I would want to say thank you to someone,

že by som chcela niekomu povedať ďakujem,

I would want to praise them,

chcela by som ho pochváliť

I would want to take in their praise of me

a tiež by som chcela prijať pochvalu od neho.

and I'd just stop it.

Ale nikdy som to neurobila.

And I asked myself, why?

A tak som sa spýtala sama seba, prečo?

I felt shy, I felt embarrassed.

Cítila som sa nesmelá, v rozpakoch.

And then my question became,

A vtedy sa moja otázka zmenila.

am I the only one who does this?

Som jediná, ktorá to takto robí?

So, I decided to investigate.

Rozhodla som sa teda pátrať.

I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility,

Mám šťastie, že pracujem na rehabilitačnom oddelení

so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction.

a teda sa stretávam s ľuďmi, ktorí kvôli závislosti bojujú na život a na smrť.

And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as,

A niekedy sa veci ukážu ako veľmi prosté.

their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them.

Jadrom trápenia jedného z nich je, že otec zomrel bez toho, aby mu povedal, že je na neho hrdý.

But then, they hear from all the family and friends

Ale potom sa dozvie od rodiny a priateľov,

that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him,

že otec povedal všetkým ostatným, aký bol na neho hrdý,

but he never told the son.

ale nikdy to nepovedal synovi.

It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it.

Otec nevedel, že jeho syn to potreboval počuť.

So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need?

Moja otázka teda znie, prečo si veci, ktoré potrebujeme, jednoducho nevypýtame?

I know a gentleman, married for 25 years,

Poznám pána, ktorý je 25 rokov ženatý

who's longing to hear his wife say,

a túži od svojej manželky počuť,

"Thank you for being the breadwinner, so I can stay home with the kids,"

´Ďakujem, že si živiteľom rodiny.Vďaka tomu môžem zostať doma s deťmi.´

but won't ask.

Ale nepýta si to.

I know a woman who's good at this.

Poznám ženu, ktorá je však v tomto dobrá.

She, once a week, meets with her husband and says,

Raz týždenne povie svojmu manželovi,

"I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids."

´Bola by som veľmi rada, keby si mi poďakoval za všetko, čo robím pre domácnosť a pre deti.´

And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great."

A on na to, ´Oh, to je fantastické, a to je fantastické.´

And praise really does have to be genuine,

Pochvala musí byť úprimná,

but she takes responsibility for that.

ale za to berie zodpovednosť ona.

And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten,

Moja priateľka April, ktorú poznám už od škôlky,

she thanks her children for doing their chores.

ďakuje svojím deťom za to, že si plnia svoje povinnosti.

And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?"

Vraví: ´Prečo by som im nepoďakovala, hoci to aj majú urobiť?´.

So, the question is, why was I blocking it?

Otázka teda je, prečo som sa tomu bránila?

Why were other people blocking it?

Prečo sa tomu bránia iní ľudia?

Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare,

Prečo dokážem povedať, ´Môj steak si prosím mierne prepečený,

I need size six shoes," but I won't say,

potrebujem topánky číslo 6´, ale nedokážem povedať,

"Would you praise me this way?"

´Pochválil by si ma?´.

And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me.

Takto vám však dávam o sebe rozhodujúce informácie.

I'm telling you where I'm insecure.

Odhalím vám miesto, kde si nie som celkom istá.

I'm telling you where I need your help.

Poviem vám, kde od vás potrebujem pomoc.

And I'm treating you, my inner circle,

Správam sa k vám,

like you're the enemy.

akoby ste boli moji nepriatelia.

Because what can you do with that data?

A čo môžete urobiť s týmito informáciami?

You could neglect me.

Môžete si ma nevšímať.

You could abuse it.

Môžete to zneužiť.

Or you could actually meet my need.

Alebo mi môžete vyhovieť.

And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this --

Zobrala som svoj bicykel do opravy -- zbožňujem túto historku --

same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels.

a oni robia niečo čomu sa hovorí ´vyvážiť´ kolesá.

The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels,

Ten chlapík povedal, ´Viete, keď si vyvážite kolesá,

it's going to make the bike so much better."

ten bicykel bude omnoho lepší.´

I get the same bike back,

Dostala som ten istý bicykel späť.

and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels

Odstránili z neho všetky drobné deformácie,

I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new.

ktoré som tam mala dva a pol roka a môj bicykel je ako nový.

So, I'm going to challenge all of you.

Vyzvem teda vás všetkých.

I want you to true your wheels:

Chcem, aby ste si vyvážili vaše kolesá:

be honest about the praise that you need to hear.

buďťe úprimní o pochvale, ktorú potrebujete počuť.

What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife --

Čo potrebujete počuť? Choďťe domov k svojej žene

go ask her, what does she need?

a opýtajte sa jej, čo potrebuje?

Go home to your husband -- what does he need?

Choďťe domov k svojmu manželovi -- čo potrebuje?

Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

Choďťe domov a opýtajte sa tieto otázky a potom pomôžte ľuďom okolo seba.

And it's simple.

Je to jednoduché.

And why should we care about this?

Prečo by nás to vôbec malo trápiť?

We talk about world peace.

Hovoríme o svetovom mieri.

How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages?

Ako môžeme mať svetový mier, keď máme rôzne kultúry a jazyky?

I think it starts household by household, under the same roof.

Myslím si, že to začína v domácnosti, pod jednou strechou.

So, let's make it right in our own backyard.

Pozametajme si teda na vlastnom dvore.

And I want to thank all of you in the audience

Chcem vám všetkým v hľadisku poďakovať

for being great husbands, great mothers,

za to, že ste takí skvelí manželia, úžasné matky,

friends, daughters, sons.

priatelia, dcéry, synovia.

And maybe somebody's never said that to you,

Môžno vám to nikto nikdy nepovedal,

but you've done a really, really good job.

ale robíte veľmi, veľmi dobrú prácu.

And thank you for being here, just showing up

Tiež ďakujem za to, že ste tu, že ste prišli

and changing the world with your ideas.

a že meníte svet svojimi nápadmi.

Thank you.

Ďakujem.

(Applause)

(Potlesk)