5 ways to listen better | Julian Treasure | TED

Translator: Amantia Gjikondi Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

We are losing our listening.

Ne jemi duke humbur degjimin tone.

We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening,

Ne shpenzojme afersisht 60 perqind te kohes se komunikimit duke degjuar,

but we're not very good at it.

por ne nuk e bejme shume te mire ate.

We retain just 25 percent of what we hear.

Ne ruajme vetem 25 perqind te asaj qe degjojme.

Now -- not you, not this talk,

Nuk jeni ju, nuk eshte ky fjalim,

but that is generally true.

por kjo eshte nje e vertete pergjithesuese.

(Laughter)

Le te perkufizojme te degjuaren

Let's define listening as making meaning from sound.

sikur i japim kuptim tingullit.

It's a mental process,

Eshte nje proces mendor,

and it's a process of extraction.

dhe eshte nje proces ekstraktimi.

Ne perdorim disa teknika te mira per ta bere kete.

We use some pretty cool techniques to do this.

Njera prej tyre eshte njohja e struktures.

One of them is pattern recognition.

(Zhurme Turme) Keshtu qe ne nje feste kokteji si kjo,

(Crowd noises) So in a cocktail party like this,

if I say, "David, Sara, pay attention" -- some of you just sat up.

nese une them, "David, Sara, kushtoji vemendje,"

disa nga ju do te qendrojne te ngrire.

We recognize patterns to distinguish noise from signal,

Ne i njohim modelet

per te vecuar zhurmen nga sinjalet,

and especially our name.

dhe ne vecanti emrat tane.

Differencing is another technique we use.

Te diferencuarit eshte nje teknike tjeter qe ne perdorim.

If I left this pink noise on for more than a couple of minutes,

Nese e le te vazhdoje kete zhurme roze per me shume se disa minuta,

(Pink noise) you would literally cease to hear it.

ju do te pushoni vertet se degjuari ate.

Ne i degjojme dallimet,

We listen to differences; we discount sounds that remain the same.

ne i zbresim tingullin qe mbetet i njejte.

Dhe me pas atje eshte nje game e tere filtrash.

And then there is a whole range of filters.

Keto filtra na marrin prej te gjithe ketyre tingujve

These filters take us from all sound

down to what we pay attention to.

rreth asaj qe duhet ti kushtojme vemendje.

Most people are entirely unconscious of these filters.

Shume njerez jane krejt te pavetedijshem

per keto filtra.

But they actually create our reality in a way,

Por ne te vertete ato krijojne realitetin tone ne nje menyre,

because they tell us what we're paying attention to right now.

sepse ato na tregojne qe jemi duke i kushtuar vemendje tashme.

I'll give you one example of that.

Do ju jap nje shembull te kesaj:

Intention is very important in sound, in listening.

Qellimi eshte shume i rendesishem tek tingujt, tek te degjuarit.

When I married my wife,

Kur une u martova me gruan time,

I promised her I would listen to her every day

une i premtova asaj qe do ta degjoja cdo dite

as if for the first time.

sikur te ishte hera e pare.

Tani, s'e mbaj dot kete premtim cdo dite.

Now that's something I fall short of on a daily basis.

(Te qeshura)

(Laughter)

But it's a great intention to have in a relationship.

Por eshte nje qellim i madh per te patur ne nje lidhje.

(Laughter)

Por kjo nuk eshte e gjitha.

But that's not all.

Tingulli na vendos ne hapesire dhe ne kohe.

Sound places us in space and in time.

Nese ju mbyllni syte tani ne kete dhome,

If you close your eyes right now in this room,

you're aware of the size of the room

ju jeni te vetedijshem per madhesine e dhomes

nga jehona

from the reverberation and the bouncing of the sound off the surfaces;

dhe zerat qe reflektohen nga siperfaqet.

you're aware of how many people are around you,

Dhe jeni te vetedijshem per sasine e njerezve qe jane rreth jush,

per shkak te mikro - zhurmave qe jeni duke marre.

because of the micro-noises you're receiving.

And sound places us in time as well,

Dhe tingulli na zhvendos ne kohe,

because sound always has time embedded in it.

sepse tingujt gjithmone kane

kohen te misheruar ne te.

In fact, I would suggest that our listening is the main way

Ne fakt, une do te sugjeroja qe degjimi eshte menyra kryesore

that we experience the flow of time

qe ne te perjetojme rrjedhen e kohes

from past to future.

nga e shkuara drejt se ardhmes.

Pra, "Tingulli eshte kohe dhe kuptim" -- nje citat i madh.

So, "Sonority is time and meaning" -- a great quote.

Une e thashe ne fillim, ne jemi duke humbur degjimin tone.

I said at the beginning, we're losing our listening.

Pse e thashe kete?

Why did I say that?

Well, there are a lot of reasons for this.

Epo ka shume arsye per ta thene kete.

First of all, we invented ways of recording --

E para eshte qe ne shpikem menyra te regjistrimit --

se pari te shkruarit, dhe me pas te regjistrimit audio

first writing, then audio recording and now video recording as well.

dhe tashme edhe te regjistrimit video.

The premium on accurate and careful listening has simply disappeared.

Cmimi per nje degjim te sakte dhe te kujdesshem

thjesht eshte zhdukur.

Secondly, the world is now so noisy,

Se dyti, bota sot eshte kaq e zhurmshme,

(Noise) with this cacophony going on visually and auditorily,

(Zhurme) me kete kakofoni te vazhdueshme

ne planin vizual dhe degjimor,

it's just hard to listen;

eshte thjesht e veshtire per te degjuar;

it's tiring to listen.

eshte e lodhshme te degjosh.

Many people take refuge in headphones,

Shume njerez strehohen tek kufjet,

but they turn big, public spaces like this,

por ato i kthejne hapesirat e medha, publike si kjo,

shared soundscapes,

peisazhet zanore te perbashketa,

into millions of tiny, little personal sound bubbles.

ne miliona zhurma flluskash te vogla personale.

In this scenario, nobody's listening to anybody.

Ne kete skenar, asnje spo degjon dike.

Ne behemi te padurueshem.

We're becoming impatient.

Ne nuk duam me oratori,

We don't want oratory anymore; we want sound bites.

ne duam tinguj te shendoshe.

And the art of conversation is being replaced -- dangerously, I think --

Dhe arti i te biseduarit

eshte duke u zevendesuar -- mendoj rrezikshmerisht --

by personal broadcasting.

nga transmetime personale.

I don't know how much listening there is in this conversation,

Une nuk e di sesa degjim ka ne kete bisedim,

qe fatkeqesisht eshte shume e zakonshme,

which is sadly very common, especially in the UK.

vecanerisht ne Angli.

We're becoming desensitized.

Ne jemi duke u bere te pandjeshem.

Our media have to scream at us with these kinds of headlines

Mediat tona duhet te na bertasin me keto lloje titujsh

in order to get our attention.

per te terhequr vemendjen tone.

And that means it's harder for us to pay attention

Dhe kjo do te thote qe eshte me e veshtire per ti kushtuar vemendje

qetesise, delikateses,

to the quiet, the subtle, the understated.

te kuptuarit.

This is a serious problem that we're losing our listening.

Ky eshte nje problem serioz qe ne jemi duke humbur te degjuarin.

This is not trivial,

Kjo nuk eshte e parendesishme.

because listening is our access to understanding.

Sepse te degjuarit eshte porta jone drejt te kuptuarit.

Degjimi me vetedije gjithmone krijon te kuptuarin.

Conscious listening always creates understanding,

and only without conscious listening

Dhe vetem ne mungese te te degjuarit me vetedije

can these things happen.

mund te ndodhin keto gjera --

A world where we don't listen to each other at all

nje bote ku ne nuk e degjojme fare njeri tjetrin,

eshte nje vend me te vertete shume i frikshem.

is a very scary place indeed.

Keshtu qe une dua te ndaj me ju

So I'd like to share with you five simple exercises,

pese ushtrime te thjeshta, mjete qe mund ti merrni me vete,

tools you can take away with you,

per te permiresuar te degjuarit me vetedije.

to improve your own conscious listening.

Do ta pelqeni kete?

Would you like that?

Audience: Yes!

(Audienca: Po.) Mire.

Good. The first one is silence.

E para eshte qetesia.

Just three minutes a day of silence is a wonderful exercise

Vetem tre minuta ne dite ne qetesi

eshte nje ushtrim i mrekullueshem

to reset your ears and to recalibrate,

per te rivendosur ne pune veshet dhe per tu ri-graduar

so that you can hear the quiet again.

keshtu qe te mund ta degjoni qetesine perseri.

Nese nuk mund te kesh nje qetesi absolute,

If you can't get absolute silence,

go for quiet, that's absolutely fine.

shko drejt qetesise, eshte absolutisht mire.

Second, I call this "the mixer."

Se dyti, une e quaj kete mikser.

(Noise) So even if you're in a noisy environment like this --

(Zhurme) Pra, nese jeni ne nje ambjent te zhurmshem si kjo --

dhe qe ne te gjithe harxhojme shume kohe ne vende te tilla -

and we all spend a lot of time in places like this --

listen in the coffee bar to how many channels of sound can I hear?

perpiqu te degjosh ne kafene

sa kanale tingujsh mund te degjosh?

How many individual channels in that mix am I listening to?

Sa kanale tingujsh ne ate miksture jam duke degjuar?

You can do it in a beautiful place as well, like in a lake.

Ju mund ta beni kete edhe ne nje vend te bukur, si pershembull ne liqen.

Sa zogj jam duke degjuar?

How many birds am I hearing?

Where are they? Where are those ripples?

Ku jane ato? Ku jane keto gurgullima?

It's a great exercise for improving the quality of your listening.

Eshte nje ushtrim i mire

per te permiresuar kualitetin e te degjuarit tend.

Third, this exercise I call "savoring," and this is a beautiful exercise.

Se treti, kete ushtrim e quaj te shijuarit,

dhe ky eshte nje ushtrim i bukur.

It's about enjoying mundane sounds.

Eshte rreth te shijuarit e tingujve te perditshem.

This, for example, is my tumble dryer.

Kjo, pershembull, eshte tharsja e rrobave.

(Dryer)

(Tharsja) Eshte nje vals.

It's a waltz -- one, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three.

Nje, dy, tre. Nje, dy, tre. Nje, dy, tre.

E dashuroj kete.

I love it!

Or just try this one on for size.

Ose vetem provojeni kete ne nje per cdo madhesi.

(Coffee grinder)

(Grirsja e kafes)

Wow!

Uau

So, mundane sounds can be really interesting --

Kjo zhurme e perditshme nese i kushton vemendje eshte shume interesante.

if you pay attention.

Une e quaj kete korin e fshehur.

I call that the "hidden choir" -- it's around us all the time.

Eshte rreth nesh gjate gjithe kohes.

Ushtrimi tjeter

The next exercise is probably the most important of all of these,

eshte ndoshta me e rendesishmja nga te gjitha,

nese e merr vetem nga nje kendveshtrim i larget.

if you just take one thing away.

This is listening positions --

Ky eshte pozicioni i te degjuarit --

the idea that you can move your listening position

ideja qe mund te ndryshosh pozicionin e te degjuarit

per cfare eshte e pershtatshme rreth asaj qe je duke degjuar.

to what's appropriate to what you're listening to.

Kjo eshte duke luajtur me keto filtra.

This is playing with those filters.

I kujtoni, une ju'a dhashe keto filtra ne fillim.

Remember I gave you those filters?

Eshte koha per te filluar per te luajtur me to si leva,

It's starting to play with them as levers,

per te qene te vetedijshem rreth tyre dhe per te levizur drejt vendeve te ndryshme.

to get conscious about them and to move to different places.

Keto jane vetem disa pozicione te te degjuarit,

These are just some of the listening positions,

ose shkalle te pozicioneve degjuese, qe mund te perdorni.

or scales of listening positions, that you can use.

There are many.

Ato jane shume.

Have fun with that. It's very exciting.

Argetohuni me to. Eshte shume emocionuese.

And finally, an acronym.

Dhe se fundmi, nje akronim.

You can use this in listening, in communication.

Ju mund ta perdorni kete ne degjim, ne komunikim.

If you're in any one of those roles --

Nese jeni ne njeren prej ketyre roleve --

and I think that probably is everybody who's listening to this talk --

dhe une mendoj qe ndoshta eshte cdokush qe eshte duke degjuar kete fjalim --

the acronym is RASA,

akronimi eshte RASA,

which is the Sanskrit word for "juice" or "essence."

qe do te thote fjala Sanskrite

per themel ose esence.

And RASA stands for "Receive," which means pay attention to the person;

Dhe RASA nenkupton Marrje

qe do te thote kushtoji vemendje personit.

Vleresoje, lesho tinguj te tille

"Appreciate," making little noises like "hmm," "oh," "OK";

si "hmm", "oh," "ne rregull";

"Summarize" -- the word "so" is very important in communication;

Per ta permbledhur, fjala "pra" ne komunikim eshte shume e rendesishme;

dhe pyet, bej pyetje me pas.

and "Ask," ask questions afterwards.

Now sound is my passion, it's my life.

Tani tingulli eshte pasioni im, eshte jeta ime.

I wrote a whole book about it. So I live to listen.

Une kam shkruar nje liber te tere rreth kesaj. Une jetoj per te degjuar.

Ka shume gjera per te pyetur ndaj shume njerezve.

That's too much to ask for most people.

Por une besoj se cdo qenie njerezore

But I believe that every human being needs to listen consciously

ka nevoje te degjoje ne menyre te vetedijshme

in order to live fully --

ne menyre qe te jetoje plotesisht --

lidhur me hapesiren dhe kohen

connected in space and in time to the physical world around us,

me boten fizike rreth nesh,

connected in understanding to each other,

lidhur me te kuptuarit e njeri - tjetrit,

pa permendur lidhjen shpirterore,

not to mention spiritually connected,

sepse cdo rruge shpirterore qe une njoh

because every spiritual path I know of has listening and contemplation

ka te degjuarin dhe te menduarit

ne bazen e saj.

at its heart.

That's why we need to teach listening in our schools as a skill.

Ja perse

ne duhet t'ju mesojme te degjuarin ne shkollat tona

si aftesi.

Why is it not taught? It's crazy.

Pse nuk eshte mesuar kjo? Eshte cmenduri.

Dhe nese mund t'ju mesojme te degjuarit ne shkollat tona,

And if we can teach listening in our schools,

we can take our listening off that slippery slope

ne mund ta marrim te degjuarin tone jashte asaj rreshqitese

to that dangerous, scary world that I talked about,

nga ajo bote e rrezikshme dhe e frikshme qe une permenda

and move it to a place where everybody is consciously listening all the time,

dhe zhvendosur ate ne nje vend ku cdo njeri me vetedije eshte duke degjuar ne te njejten kohe --

or at least capable of doing it.

ose te pakten eshte i afte per ta bere ate.

Now, I don't know how to do that,

Une tani di si ta bej kete,

but this is TED,

por kjo eshte TED,

and I think the TED community is capable of anything.

dhe une mendoj qe komuniteti TED eshte i afte per cdo gje.

So I invite you to connect with me, connect with each other,

Keshtu qe ju ftoj juve te vendosni kontakte me mua, te vendosni kontakte me njeri tjetrin,

take this mission out.

vereni ne zbatim kete mision dhe le ta bejme te degjuarin si mesim neper shkolla,

And let's get listening taught in schools,

dhe ta transformojme boten ne nje brez, ne nje bote me te vetedijshme te te degjuarit --

and transform the world in one generation

to a conscious, listening world -- a world of connection,

ne nje bote te kontaktimit,

a world of understanding

ne nje bote te te kuptuarit dhe drejt nje bote me paqe.

and a world of peace.

Thank you for listening to me today.

Faleminderit qe me degjuat sot.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)