The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TED

譯者: Adrienne Lin 審譯者: Sunny Kan Ngai Hang

先講個故事

So, I'll start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me

幾年前，有個活動策劃打電話給我

因為我要辦一個講座

because I was going to do a speaking event.

她打給我說

And she called, and she said,

「我實在想不出來」

"I'm really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer."

「在傳單上要怎麼介紹你」

And I thought, "Well, what's the struggle?"

我想說「為什麼想不出來？」

她答：「看過你演講」

And she said, "Well, I saw you speak,

「我想應該稱呼你為研究員」

and I'm going to call you a researcher, I think,

but I'm afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come,

「但我怕這樣寫，沒有人會來聽演講」

「因為研究員都很無聊、無關緊要」

because they'll think you're boring and irrelevant."

(笑聲)

(Laughter)

好吧

And I was like, "Okay."

And she said, "But the thing I liked about your talk

然後她說「但我喜歡你演講的原因」

「是因為很像在說故事」

is you're a storyteller.

So I think what I'll do is just call you a storyteller."

「所以我要稱你為說書人」

And of course, the academic, insecure part of me

我內心學術、沒安全感那面就跳出來

was like, "You're going to call me a what?"

「妳要叫我什麼？」

她說：「說故事的人阿」

And she said, "I'm going to call you a storyteller."

And I was like, "Why not 'magic pixie'?"

我心想：「何不乾脆叫我魔法小精靈？」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I was like, "Let me think about this for a second."

「讓我想一下」

我鼓起勇氣

I tried to call deep on my courage.

And I thought, you know, I am a storyteller.

我想：我是說書人

I'm a qualitative researcher.

我是定性研究員

I collect stories; that's what I do.

我工作就是搜集故事

And maybe stories are just data with a soul.

也許故事就是有靈魂的數據

And maybe I'm just a storyteller.

或許我真的就是說書人

And so I said, "You know what?

我就說：「好吧」

Why don't you just say I'm a researcher-storyteller."

「你就叫我研究說書員」

And she went, "Ha ha. There's no such thing."

她就回：「哈，沒這東西」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

So I'm a researcher-storyteller, and I'm going to talk to you today --

所以我是個研究說書員

我今天要告訴各位的

we're talking about expanding perception --

是關於看法的擴展

and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories

我要分享給各位幾個故事

是我研究的一部份

about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception

這部份徹底的擴展了我的觀點

and really actually changed the way that I live and love

並確實改變了我生活、愛、

and work and parent.

工作、為人父母的過程

And this is where my story starts.

這是我故事的開始

When I was a young researcher, doctoral student,

當時我還是個年輕的研究員，念博士

my first year, I had a research professor who said to us,

第一年，我有個教授

告訴我們

"Here's the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist."

「是這樣的」

「你無法測量的，就不存在」

我想他只是講些好聽話而已

And I thought he was just sweet-talking me.

我就說：「真的嗎？」他回：「千真萬確」

I was like, "Really?" and he was like, "Absolutely."

And so you have to understand

你們要明白

我學士、碩士都念社工

that I have a bachelor's and a master's in social work,

我的博士學位也是社工

and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career

所以我的學術事業

都圍繞著

was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the "life's messy, love it."

一些相信

「生活很混亂，愛它吧」的人

And I'm more of the, "life's messy, clean it up, organize it

但我是那種「生活很混亂」

「那就收拾整齊」

and put it into a bento box."

「並收進便當盒裡」的人

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

我想我找到我的路

And so to think that I had found my way, to found a career that takes me --

發現一個能帶著我的事業

really, one of the big sayings in social work is,

社工常說的一句話

"Lean into the discomfort of the work."

偎緊工作令人不舒服的部份

And I'm like, knock discomfort upside the head

我則是那種，遇到不愉快就趕緊

and move it over and get all A's.

想辦法對付他並拿A

That was my mantra.

我這樣催眠自己

So I was very excited about this.

對此很期待

And so I thought, you know what, this is the career for me,

我想，這就是我要做的大事了

because I am interested in some messy topics.

因為我對這些混亂的話題有興趣

But I want to be able to make them not messy.

但我想讓他們變得不混亂

我想搞懂他們

I want to understand them.

I want to hack into these things that I know are important

我想徹底研究這些

我知道很重要的事

and lay the code out for everyone to see.

並把秘密找出來分享給大家

So where I started was with connection.

所以我從"連結"開始

Because, by the time you're a social worker for 10 years,

因為，當了十年社工

你會理解到

what you realize is that connection is why we're here.

連結就是我們都在此的原因

It's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

這是我們生命被賦予意義的東西

一切都與這相關

This is what it's all about.

It doesn't matter whether you talk to people

不管你跟哪個領域的人聊天

不論是社會公平、心理健康、 受虐與疏忽照顧

who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect,

我們知道，連結

what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is --

感受到彼此的連結是

在神經生物學來說，是我們天生的

neurobiologically that's how we're wired --

it's why we're here.

我們在此的原因

So I thought, you know what, I'm going to start with connection.

所以我想，我要以連結開始研究

我想你們都經歷過

Well, you know that situation

where you get an evaluation from your boss,

老闆給的工作評價

and she tells you 37 things that you do really awesome,

可能會是37件極佳的表現

and one "opportunity for growth?"

但有一件是 -- 尚待改進

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

你腦子只會想這那尚待改進的事

And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right?

Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well,

我的研究也是這樣

because, when you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak.

因為當你問人們關於愛的故事

他們會告訴你心碎的故事

When you ask people about belonging,

當你問人們關於歸屬的故事

他們會告訴你那些他們被排除在外

they'll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded.

的椎心經驗

And when you ask people about connection,

因為當你問人們關於連結的故事

the stories they told me were about disconnection.

他們會告訴你那些分離的故事

所以很快的，研究開始的六週後

So very quickly -- really about six weeks into this research --

就是這件不知如何命名的事

I ran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveled connection

讓連結瓦解

我不懂也從未見過

in a way that I didn't understand or had never seen.

所以我將研究暫停

And so I pulled back out of the research

我想，我一定要知道這是為什麼

and thought, I need to figure out what this is.

And it turned out to be shame.

原來就是羞恥

羞恥很好理解

And shame is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection:

就是害怕失去連結

我的哪些部份

Is there something about me that, if other people know it or see it,

如果外人知道了

that I won't be worthy of connection?

會不會不想與我往來

羞恥，我可以告訴你們

The things I can tell you about it:

是普遍存在的，我們都有

It's universal; we all have it.

The only people who don't experience shame

那些沒有羞恥心的人

沒有同情心與人類連結

have no capacity for human empathy or connection.

沒人想談羞恥

No one wants to talk about it,

and the less you talk about it, the more you have it.

越不談感受越大

What underpinned this shame, this "I'm not good enough," --

鞏固羞恥的東西

這種「我不夠好」的感受

我想我們都經歷過

which, we all know that feeling:

"I'm not blank enough. I'm not thin enough,

「不夠徹底、不夠纖瘦」

rich enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, promoted enough."

「不夠有錢、不夠漂亮、不夠聰明」

「不夠有才」

The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability.

支撐這種

極痛苦的脆弱感的

This idea of, in order for connection to happen,

是這種

為了要有連結

we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.

我們必須讓自己被看見

真的被看見

各位都知道，我恨脆弱

And you know how I feel about vulnerability. I hate vulnerability.

所以我想，這是我

And so I thought, this is my chance to beat it back with my measuring stick.

用量尺贏回來的機會

I'm going in, I'm going to figure this stuff out,

我一定要搞懂這東西

I'm going to spend a year, I'm going to totally deconstruct shame,

我要花一年的時間，破解羞恥

I'm going to understand how vulnerability works,

我一定要了解脆弱是如何運作

我要打敗它

and I'm going to outsmart it.

So I was ready, and I was really excited.

我準備好了，也很興奮

各位也知道，結果沒有很好

As you know, it's not going to turn out well.

(笑聲)

(Laughter)

You know this.

你們都懂

So, I could tell you a lot about shame,

關於羞恥我可以講很多

but I'd have to borrow everyone else's time.

但會佔用到其他講者的時間

But here's what I can tell you that it boils down to --

我可以告訴你的是，研究最終

and this may be one of the most important things that I've ever learned

這是我十年的研究所學到最重要

in the decade of doing this research.

的其中一件事

我的一年

My one year turned into six years:

變成六年

數千個故事

Thousands of stories, hundreds of long interviews, focus groups.

數百個面談，團體會晤

At one point, people were sending me journal pages

某階段還有人寄給我日記手札

告訴我他們的故事

and sending me their stories --

thousands of pieces of data in six years.

六年間有數千筆數據

我也大概弄懂了

And I kind of got a handle on it.

I kind of understood, this is what shame is, this is how it works.

我有點明白羞恥是什麼

是怎麼運作的

我寫了本書

I wrote a book, I published a theory, but something was not okay --

出版了個理論

但有件事還是不對

and what it was is that, if I roughly took the people I interviewed

就是

我將我訪問過的人

and divided them into people who really have a sense of worthiness --

分為兩組

一組是認為自己有價值的人 --

這也是核心的部份

that's what this comes down to, a sense of worthiness --

個人價值感 --

they have a strong sense of love and belonging --

這些人有很強的愛與歸屬感

and folks who struggle for it,

另一組是掙扎的人

and folks who are always wondering if they're good enough.

他們總想自己是否夠好

兩組間只有一個可變因素

There was only one variable that separated

有強烈愛與歸屬感的人

the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging

與掙扎的人之間

and the people who really struggle for it.

只有一個可變因素

And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging

這就是，那些

有強烈愛與歸屬感的人

believe they're worthy of love and belonging.

相信他們是值得愛與歸屬的

That's it.

就這樣

They believe they're worthy.

他們相信這是值得的

And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection

對我來說，困難的部份

唯一讓我們無法連結的部份

is our fear that we're not worthy of connection,

就是害怕我們不值得彼此連結

was something that, personally and professionally,

這個在個人以及工作上來說

我覺得我應該要更精確理解

I felt like I needed to understand better.

So what I did is I took all of the interviews

所以我

將所有的訪談裡

where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way,

看得出個人價值感的案例拿出來

and just looked at those.

只看這些人

What do these people have in common?

這些人有什麼共同點？

I have a slight office supply addiction, but that's another talk.

我對辦公用品有點龜毛

但這是另一個故事了

So I had a manila folder, and I had a Sharpie,

我拿了個分類文件夾、一隻簽字筆

and I was like, what am I going to call this research?

我就想，這研究要怎麼稱呼?

我想到的第一個字就是

And the first words that came to my mind were "whole-hearted."

全心全意

These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness.

這些都是全心付出的人，以強烈價值感活著

所以我在資料夾上這樣寫

So I wrote at the top of the manila folder,

並開始看我所找到的資料

and I started looking at the data.

事實上

In fact, I did it first in a four-day, very intensive data analysis,

我所做的是

前四天都密集研究資料

where I went back, pulled the interviews, the stories, pulled the incidents.

回到最初的訪問、故事、事件

What's the theme? What's the pattern?

主題是什麼？模式是什麼？

My husband left town with the kids

我老公帶孩子出遠門

because I always go into this Jackson Pollock crazy thing,

因為我整個廢寢忘食

where I'm just writing and in my researcher mode.

我狂寫資料

進入我"研究員模式"

And so here's what I found.

我的研究結果是這樣的

他們共有的

What they had in common was a sense of courage.

是勇氣(courage)

And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute.

我想簡單解釋勇氣(courage)與勇敢(bravery)的不同

Courage, the original definition of courage,

勇氣最初的定義

最早變成英語的時候

when it first came into the English language --

是拉丁字源cor，表示"心(heart)"

it's from the Latin word "cor," meaning "heart" --

and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are

而它最初的定義

就是全心全意講述關於你自己的故事

with your whole heart.

所以這些人

And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect.

有著承認不完美

的勇氣

They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others,

他們有同情心

對自己好之後對別人好

because, as it turns out,

因為，後來發現，你要對別人有同情心

we can't practice compassion with other people

就一定要先對自己好

if we can't treat ourselves kindly.

And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part --

最後，他們都有著連結

這是困難的部份

as a result of authenticity,

就是"真實性"的結果

they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be

他們願意放下他們想成為的自己

in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that

為了做真正的自己

而為了與人連結

for connection.

就必須這麼做

The other thing that they had in common was this:

他們的另一個共通點

是這個

They fully embraced vulnerability.

他們坦蕩的接受脆弱

They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful.

他們相信

讓他們脆弱的

會讓他們美麗

他們並不是說脆弱

They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable,

是很自在的事

nor did they really talk about it being excruciating --

也不是很痛心的事

as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing.

從我早期"羞恥"訪問中發現的

他們認為脆弱是必須的

They just talked about it being necessary.

They talked about the willingness to say, "I love you" first ...

他們談到願意先說

「我愛你」

願意

the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees ...

去做那些

不保證美好的事

the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call

願意

在乳房X光檢查後深呼吸

after your mammogram.

等待醫生回電

They're willing to invest in a relationship

願意投入一場戀愛

that may or may not work out.

不論結果好不好

They thought this was fundamental.

他們認為這是很基本的

I personally thought it was betrayal.

我個人認為這是背叛

I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research, where our job --

因為我發了誓要

做研究

you know, the definition of research is to control and predict,

研究的定義

就是控制和預測、研究現象

to study phenomena for the explicit reason to control and predict.

就這麼簡單

控制和預測

And now my mission to control and predict

所以我原本的任務

控制和預測

had turned up the answer that the way to live is with vulnerability

變成發現到人們都與脆弱一起生活

並停止控制和預測

and to stop controlling and predicting.

This led to a little breakdown --

後來導致我有點小崩潰

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

-- which actually looked more like this.

應該是這樣

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And it did.

沒錯

I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening.

我稱為崩潰，我心理醫師稱為心靈覺醒

(Laughter)

A spiritual awakening sounds better than breakdown,

心靈覺醒好聽多了

不過我確定就是崩潰沒錯

but I assure you, it was a breakdown.

所以我把工作放下，去找心理醫師

And I had to put my data away and go find a therapist.

告訴你吧，當你打電話給朋友並問他們：

Let me tell you something: you know who you are

「我想我需要看心理醫生了，你有建議誰嗎？」的時候

when you call your friends and say, "I think I need to see somebody.

就瞭解自己是誰了

Do you have any recommendations?"

Because about five of my friends were like,

我五個朋友都說

"Wooo, I wouldn't want to be your therapist."

「真慶幸我不是你心理醫師」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

I was like, "What does that mean?"

我就說：「你這什麼意思？」

And they're like, "I'm just saying, you know.

他們就說：「我只是說說」

Don't bring your measuring stick."

「別帶你的量尺就對了」

(Laughter)

好吧

I was like, "Okay."

So I found a therapist.

我找到了個醫師

My first meeting with her, Diana --

我第一次與Diana的會診

我帶上我的清單

I brought in my list of the way the whole-hearted live, and I sat down.

就是全心全意訪問清單，並坐下

And she said, "How are you?"

她說：「你好嗎？」

And I said, "I'm great. I'm okay."

我說：「我很好阿」

She said, "What's going on?"

她說：「你怎麼了？」

And this is a therapist who sees therapists,

我的心理醫師也看心理醫師

because we have to go to those, because their B.S. meters are good.

因為每個人都有心事

然後他們胡扯的功力都很厲害

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And so I said, "Here's the thing, I'm struggling."

然後我說

「是這樣的，我在掙扎」

And she said, "What's the struggle?"

她說：「掙扎什麼？」

我說：「我跟脆弱槓上了」

And I said, "Well, I have a vulnerability issue.

And I know that vulnerability is the core of shame and fear

「我知道脆弱是丟臉和害怕」

「的核心」

「為了自我價值的掙扎」

and our struggle for worthiness,

but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity,

「但似乎也孕育出了」

「喜悅、創造力」

of belonging, of love.

「歸屬和愛」

And I think I have a problem, and I need some help."

「所以我想我遇到困難了」

「我需要幫忙」

「但是，不要跟我講」

And I said, "But here's the thing: no family stuff, no childhood shit."

「我家庭怎樣」

「我童年怎樣的廢話」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"I just need some strategies."

「告訴我怎麼做就好」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

(Applause)

(掌聲)

謝謝

Thank you.

So she goes like this.

然後她就

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And then I said, "It's bad, right?"

我問：「很糟吧？」

And she said, "It's neither good nor bad."

她答：「不好也不壞啦」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

"It just is what it is."

「不就這樣」

And I said, "Oh my God, this is going to suck."

我說：「天哪，我完了」

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And it did, and it didn't.

是也不是啦

And it took about a year.

我看了一年的醫生

And you know how there are people

你們知道有些人

that, when they realize that vulnerability and tenderness are important,

在明白脆弱與溫柔很重要之後

會舉旗投降

that they surrender and walk into it.

A: 這不是我的個性

A: that's not me,

B: 我不跟這種人交朋友

and B: I don't even hang out with people like that.

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

For me, it was a yearlong street fight.

對我來說，很像長達幾年的街頭鬥毆

It was a slugfest.

打鬥很激烈

Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back.

脆弱揍我，我打回去

I lost the fight,

我輸了

but probably won my life back.

但卻贏了我的生活

And so then I went back into the research

所以我繼續這個研究

and spent the next couple of years

花了幾年時間

really trying to understand what they, the whole-hearted,

試著搞清楚這些全心全意的人

what choices they were making, and what we are doing with vulnerability.

他們所做出的選擇

他們怎麼應付

脆弱感的

Why do we struggle with it so much?

為什麼我們如此掙扎？

Am I alone in struggling with vulnerability?

只有我與脆弱掙扎嗎？

不是

No.

So this is what I learned.

這是我所學到的

We numb vulnerability --

我們麻痺脆弱

when we're waiting for the call.

例如我們在等待重要電話時

It was funny, I sent something out on Twitter and on Facebook

蠻好笑的，我在推特和臉書上打了

「要如何定義脆弱？」

that says, "How would you define vulnerability?

「為什麼會感到脆弱？」

What makes you feel vulnerable?"

大概一個半小時後，我收到150個回覆

And within an hour and a half, I had 150 responses.

Because I wanted to know what's out there.

因為我想知道

大家的情形

找老公幫忙

Having to ask my husband for help because I'm sick, and we're newly married;

因為我病了，而且才新婚、

向老公求歡、

initiating sex with my husband;

initiating sex with my wife;

向老婆求歡、

被拒絕、邀人去約會、

being turned down; asking someone out;

等著醫生回電、

waiting for the doctor to call back;

被辭退、辭退員工 --

getting laid off; laying off people.

This is the world we live in.

這就是我們的生活

We live in a vulnerable world.

我們生活在脆弱的世界裡

And one of the ways we deal with it is we numb vulnerability.

而我們應付脆弱的其中一個方式

就是麻痺脆弱感

And I think there's evidence --

我認為這是有證據的

and it's not the only reason this evidence exists,

證據存在不只是唯一理由

but I think it's a huge cause --

我認為這是美國史上

We are the most in-debt ...

越來越多負債、

肥胖

obese ...

addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.

成癮、依賴藥物、

成群的很大原因

The problem is -- and I learned this from the research --

問題是 -- 這是我從研究中學到的 --

that you cannot selectively numb emotion.

你無法選擇去麻痺情感

You can't say, here's the bad stuff.

不能說，我不喜歡這感覺

Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame,

脆弱感、悲傷、羞恥

here's fear, here's disappointment.

害怕、失望等等

I don't want to feel these.

我不想要有這種感受

I'm going to have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.

去喝啤酒和香蕉堅果鬆餅解悶

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

麻痺這些感覺

I don't want to feel these.

And I know that's knowing laughter.

我知道這笑聲

I hack into your lives for a living.

我把你們的生活都研究透徹了

God.

天哪被發現了

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You can't numb those hard feelings

要麻痺難過的感覺

without numbing the other affects, our emotions.

就要麻痹憐憫、情感

你不能選擇性麻痺

You cannot selectively numb.

So when we numb those,

當我們麻痺這些

we numb joy,

我們麻痺喜悅

我們麻痺感激

we numb gratitude,

we numb happiness.

我們麻痺快樂

之後感到痛苦

And then, we are miserable,

然後追求目標與意義

and we are looking for purpose and meaning,

之後感到脆弱

and then we feel vulnerable,

so then we have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin.

然後去喝啤酒和香蕉堅果鬆餅解悶

And it becomes this dangerous cycle.

如此變成惡性循環

One of the things that I think we need to think about

我們必須想想

is why and how we numb.

我們為什麼、如何麻痺

And it doesn't just have to be addiction.

並不一定是因為習慣了

我們會做的另一件事

The other thing we do is we make everything that's uncertain certain.

是確定那些令人不確定的事

Religion has gone from a belief in faith and mystery to certainty.

宗教已從信仰與神秘

變成確定的事

"I'm right, you're wrong. Shut up."

我對、你錯、閉嘴

就這樣

That's it.

就是確定性

Just certain.

我們越怕，就越脆弱

The more afraid we are, the more vulnerable we are,

然後更害怕

the more afraid we are.

有點像現今的政治

This is what politics looks like today.

沒有談話

There's no discourse anymore.

There's no conversation.

沒有交談

There's just blame.

只有責怪

You know how blame is described in the research?

你們知道研究上怎麼描述"責怪"嗎？

A way to discharge pain and discomfort.

釋放痛苦與不安的方式之一

我們追求完美

We perfect.

If there's anyone who wants their life to look like this, it would be me,

世上唯有我希望生活如此

但不這麼稱心

but it doesn't work.

Because what we do is we take fat from our butts and put it in our cheeks.

我們選擇將屁股的脂肪抽出來

並拿去豐唇

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Which just, I hope in 100 years, people will look back and go, "Wow."

我希望幾百年後的人們

會對此瞠目咋舌

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And we perfect, most dangerously, our children.

我們追求完美時，最危險的

就是要孩子完美

Let me tell you what we think about children.

跟你們講怎麼對待孩子吧

They're hardwired for struggle when they get here.

他們生來就得掙扎以達目的

And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand,

當你手上抱著完美的寶寶時

our job is not to say, "Look at her, she's perfect.

我們的工作不是說：「看看她，真完美」

「我的工作是讓她保持完美」

My job is just to keep her perfect --

「確定她五年級時選上網球隊，國一跳級念耶魯」

make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh."

這不是我們的工作

That's not our job.

Our job is to look and say,

我們的工作是看著他們說

"You know what? You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle,

「你知道嗎？你不完美，你生來就得掙扎」

but you are worthy of love and belonging."

「但你值得愛與歸屬的」

這才是我們的工作

That's our job.

如果一整代孩子都這麼養

Show me a generation of kids raised like that,

那今日的問題都可迎刃而解

and we'll end the problems, I think, that we see today.

We pretend that what we do doesn't have an effect on people.

我們假裝我們所做的

對他人沒有影響

We do that in our personal lives.

我們在他人的生活中都是這麼做的

We do that corporate --

還會合作完成--

whether it's a bailout, an oil spill ...

不管是財政援助或油輪漏油、

產品回收--

a recall.

We pretend like what we're doing

我們假裝我們所做的

doesn't have a huge impact on other people.

對他人沒有極大的影響

I would say to companies, this is not our first rodeo, people.

大公司們，我們沒這麼好騙

We just need you to be authentic and real and say ...

我們只要你們老實的說聲

「對不起」

"We're sorry. We'll fix it."

「我們會彌補」

But there's another way, and I'll leave you with this.

但還有別的方法的，我留此作結

這是我發現的：

This is what I have found:

To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen ...

讓自己被看見

最深層的那面

脆弱的那面

to love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee --

全心全意去愛

即使不保證有回報

即使很困難

and that's really hard,

and I can tell you as a parent, that's excruciatingly difficult --

尤其身為一個家長，我告訴你們，當我們恐懼時

表達感激與喜樂

to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror,

是很痛徹心扉的

when we're wondering, "Can I love you this much?

當我們想：「我能否這麼愛你？」

「我能熱情地相信嗎？」

Can I believe in this this passionately?

「我可以對此勇敢嗎？」的時候

Can I be this fierce about this?"

just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen,

能夠停下來，別把一切想的太糟糕

然後告訴自己:「我很感激」

to say, "I'm just so grateful,

because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive."

「因為會感到脆弱代表我還活著」

And the last, which I think is probably the most important,

最後，我想最重要的是

相信自己足夠了

is to believe that we're enough.

Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, "I'm enough" ...

因為如果我們都能

相信自己「我夠好了」

then we stop screaming and start listening,

那我們便會停止抱怨並開始傾聽

we're kinder and gentler to the people around us,

我們對身邊的人會更溫柔仁慈

對自己也會更溫柔仁慈

and we're kinder and gentler to ourselves.

就這樣，謝謝各位

That's all I have. Thank you.

(Applause)

(掌聲)