6 Ways to Make Better Connections Online | Margaux Miller | TED

31,855 views ・ 2025-02-13

TED


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譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: 麗玲 辛
00:04
I want to see a show of hands.
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請大家用舉手的方式表示意見。
00:06
How many of you have ever deleted an email or a social media request
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在座有多少人,曾經刪除過 電子郵件或社群媒體邀請,
00:10
because it was written like pure spam?
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因為它的內容完全像是垃圾郵件?
00:14
Yeah, or maybe you deleted it because they got your name wrong.
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好,也許你刪除的原因 是你的名字被寫錯了。
00:17
Or they used an awful cliché, like "we share mutual interests,"
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或者他們用了很糟的籠統陳詞, 例如「我們志趣相投」,
00:21
but never took the time to tell you what those were?
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但懶得告訴你是哪些志趣?
00:24
I remember, a long time ago,
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我記得很久以前,我寫了 一封電子郵件給我工作上認識的人。
00:26
I sent an email to a business acquaintance of mine.
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00:28
I was hoping to draw them into my network and maybe get some feedback.
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我希望把他們納入我的人脈網, 也許還能得到一些回饋意見。
00:32
And so I work hard on it, and I send it off.
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我很費心寫了這封信,然後寄出。
00:34
And to my surprise,
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讓我驚訝的是,他們用 簡訊回覆我,而不是回信。
00:35
instead of emailing me back, they sent me a text message.
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00:38
Awesome. It worked.
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讚,這封信有效。
00:41
Turns out it was not so awesome.
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結果其實沒有那麼讚。
簡訊的內容是問我 為何群發而不是私訊。
00:43
The text message was to ask me why I sent them a mass message
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00:46
instead of a personal one.
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00:48
Needless to say, I was embarrassed,
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不用說,我很不好意思, 但至少簡訊還讓我有第二次機會。
00:49
but at least I got that second chance via text message.
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00:53
Things have evolved a lot since then, and I'll start by telling you this.
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從那之後,事情又有很多發展,
首先,先讓我告訴各位:
00:58
Today's version of networking has changed.
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現今人脈拓展的方式已經改變了。
01:02
We once had classes on etiquette.
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以前曾經有禮儀課。
我父母的那一代, 可能也包括在座許多人,
01:05
And then, my parents' generation, and probably many of you,
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都被教導過如何握手、 如何做好眼神接觸。
01:08
got literal instructions on how to shake hands
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01:10
and make eye contact.
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01:12
And then, the internet blew up,
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然後,網際網路大流行, 現在就完全沒有任何指示可循了。
01:14
and now, there is no instruction at all.
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01:17
The skills that once served us well
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過去在會議室和社交活動中 那些很有用的技能
01:19
in conference rooms and at networking events
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01:21
are no longer enough.
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現在已經不夠了。
01:23
Now our networks span the globe.
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現今的人脈網橫跨全球。
01:26
Today, we have over five billion internet and social media users, respectively,
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現今,全世界的網路使用者 就有超過五十億人,
社群媒體使用者也超過五十億,
01:32
around the world,
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01:34
most of us accessing our digital identities
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大部份人存取自己的數位身分
所使用的是各位現在 手上或手邊的裝置。
01:37
through the device that you either have in your hand right now or close enough.
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01:42
But this is great, because what this means is that we can reach almost anyone,
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這很棒,因為這意味著我們幾乎 可以馬上聯絡到任何地方的任何人。
01:46
anywhere, instantly.
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01:48
And now, I won't make you raise your hand for this next one,
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下一個問題就不要求各位舉手了,
01:51
but is it possible you might still change jobs one day?
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各位將來有沒有可能會換工作?
01:56
If so, you should know that the vast majority of job placements
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如果會,那各位應該知道, 現今大部份的求職都是透過人脈網。
02:00
are now happening through networking.
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02:02
They're happening through personal and professional connections.
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透過私人和專業人脈來進行。
02:06
And so what do we do with this?
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那我們該怎麼辦?
02:08
Well, first, this is not a talk about you becoming an influencer.
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嗯,首先,這場演說 不是要談如何成為網紅。
02:13
Meaningful online connection
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有意義的線上人脈
02:16
is not about how many followers you have or what you look like.
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重點不在於有多少人追蹤你 或是你看起來如何。
02:20
Yet ignoring the power of connecting online,
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但,忽略線上人脈連結的力量,
02:23
that's not just outdated, it's a significant missed opportunity.
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不僅僅是落伍,也會錯失大好機會。
02:28
And what we need is a new playbook.
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我們需要新的策略指南。
02:31
Now making up for my bad email days,
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為了彌補之前發送過很糟的電子郵件,
02:34
I have since made a career
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我後來透過網路,把職涯 建立在連結世界各地的人脈。
02:36
out of connecting people online around the world
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並從全球互動中汲取豐富經驗,
02:40
and drawing from a wealth of global interactions,
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02:43
I've distilled for you six ways to make better connections online,
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我為各位精心整理出 六種改善線上人脈連結的方式,
02:48
beginning right now.
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可以從現在開始做出改變。
秘訣一:連結而非收集。
02:50
Tip number one: Connect, don’t collect.
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02:54
We’re in an era where scrolling can feel like connecting
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在現在這個時代,滑手機 感覺就像在做人脈連結了,
02:58
and where we often overlook the fact
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我們經常會忽視一點:
03:00
that building a helpful community for ourselves is not a numbers game.
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為我們自己建立有益的社群 並不是場數字遊戲。
03:04
Rather, it's based on the quality and the depth of our relationships.
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它的基礎反而是關係的品質和深度。
03:09
Think of the common Pareto principle,
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想想常見的帕雷托法則,
03:11
where 20 percent of our connections yield 80 percent of the results.
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我們 20% 的人脈帶來 80% 的結果。
03:15
But for this to work,
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但要實現此法則, 就得知道我們為何與人聯繫。
03:16
we have to know why we're reaching out.
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03:18
Have a goal, and do your homework.
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要有目標,要做功課。
03:22
A strong first impression comes from stronger preparation.
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要產生有力的第一印象, 就得更用力去做準備。
03:27
Take this message from Tali, for example.
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以塔莉的這則訊息為例。
03:29
She was looking for a remote job in community building
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她想找建置社群的遠端工作, 而她認定我可以協助她。
03:31
and identified me as someone who could help her.
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03:34
But rather than jump right in,
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但塔莉沒有馬上找我, 而是先研究我在乎什麼,
03:35
Tali did her research on what mattered to me,
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接著她很真誠地調整了 她來找我的方式。
03:38
and then she tailored her outreach authentically.
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03:40
This worked, and I ended up getting on a call with her.
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這很有效,後來 我確實和她通了電話。
還有一招也有效:
03:44
What also can work is sharing what you liked
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針對對方最近做的簡報或撰寫的 文章,聊聊你喜歡的點是什麼,
03:47
about a recent presentation they gave or an article they wrote
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03:50
as a way of showing genuine interest.
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用這種方式展現你真的感興趣。
03:52
And you can use AI and large language models
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且你可以使用人工智慧和 大型語言模型幫你做高效的研究——
03:55
as a way of doing efficient research for you --
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03:58
just remember, it's a tool for personalization, not a silver bullet.
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切記,它是協助個人化的工具,
不是萬靈丹。
04:02
Tip number two: don’t make it about you.
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秘訣二:別把重點都放在自己身上。
04:07
Dale Carnegie famously said,
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戴爾‧卡內基有句名言:
04:09
"You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people
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「只要花兩個月時間展現出 對他人的興趣,交到的朋友
04:13
than you can in two years
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就會比花兩年時間讓他人對你 產生興趣,所能交到的朋友還多。」
04:15
by trying to get other people interested in you."
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04:19
Think about that for a minute.
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思考一下這句話。
04:20
When you receive a message,
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當你收到訊息時,
04:22
you want to feel like you're the ideal recipient for that message,
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你會希望覺得自己就是 那則訊息的最佳收件人,
04:25
not just one of many.
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沒有「之一」。
04:27
So include a clear purpose, a call to action,
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所以,訊息要有明確的目的 和具體的行動建議,
04:30
and if you can, make that person feel special.
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可以的話,試著讓對方 覺得自己很特別。
04:34
Tali also did this very well in the second part of her message to me.
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塔莉在訊息的第二部分 把這點做得很出色。
她希望能以通話來了解我的職涯。
04:37
She asked for a call about my career journey.
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04:39
So this is great for two reasons.
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這個做法很棒的原因有二:
第一,她清楚提出 她想要什麼——通話。
04:41
First, she asked clearly for what she wanted -- the call.
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04:44
And second, she made it about my experience,
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第二,她把重點放在我的經歷上,
04:47
which makes it really easy to say yes,
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會讓我很容易點頭答應,
04:49
because I don't need to prepare to talk about myself.
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因為我隨時都能談我自己,不用準備。
04:53
I hear complaints from friends all the time
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常有朋友跟我抱怨,
04:55
that get messages with no purpose.
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他們收到的訊息都不寫要幹嘛。
04:57
The message literally just says "Hello" or "I would like to connect," full stop.
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訊息就真的只有「哈囉」 或「我想和你聯絡」,
就沒了,整則訊息就只有這樣。
05:03
That's the whole message.
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05:04
Because the sender is thinking,
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因為發訊息的人在想: 「對方回應後,我再來講重點。」
05:06
"I'll get to the to the real point once they respond."
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05:09
Don't do this.
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別這樣做。
05:11
With no compelling reason for that person to reply,
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如果對方覺得沒有 充份的理由需要回覆,
05:15
it's likely you won't get that second chance.
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對方可能回都不回你。
05:17
Tip number three: become a familiar face.
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秘訣三:讓對方熟悉你。
05:21
A few years ago, I discovered a woman online named Anna.
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幾年前,我在網路上 發現了安娜這名女子。
05:24
Anna had created a community globally for women in tech.
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安娜為科技業的女性 創造了一個全球社群。
05:28
This is a topic that I'm personally very passionate about,
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我個人十分熱愛這個主題,
05:30
and at the time, I was looking
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且當時,我正希望能將我的經驗 從地方性支持提升到全球性支持。
05:32
to take my experience from a local to a global level of support.
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05:35
And so I started to comment on Anna's posts,
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所以我開始在安娜的貼文下面留言,
05:38
hoping she would recognize who I was.
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希望她能逐漸認得我這個人。
05:41
Eventually, when I reached out to offer my expertise as an emcee,
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最後,當我聯絡她表示 我能提供我的主持專長時,
05:45
Anna was happy to connect.
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安娜記得我,很樂意與我結交。
05:47
She had recognized me, and since that call,
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從那次通話後,
05:50
I now host their annual conference,
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現在我負責主持他們的年會,
05:52
introducing top executives from companies like Google, Meta and Microsoft.
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介紹 Google、Meta, 和微軟等公司的高階主管。
05:57
In order to boost your visibility and those chances of new connections,
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為了要提高你的能見度 和建立新人脈連結的機會,
試著讓對的人熟悉你,
06:02
try to become a familiar face to the right people
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06:04
so you can go right to their content and engage with it like I did.
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你可以學我直接透過 他們發表的內容來和他們互動,
06:08
Or you can join online communities, groups and forums,
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或者加入線上社群、群組,和討論區。
06:11
where you can share your expertise
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到那邊分享你的專長,
06:13
and identify some of those right people for you.
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找出哪些人對你而言是對的人。
06:16
And, when you can, tag people relevant to the discussion as well.
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此外,能的話,把和討論 相關的人都標註上去。
06:21
When you're a connector,
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當你成為能牽線的人, 大家就會對你另眼相看,
06:23
people start to think really highly of you,
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06:25
and they also begin to recommend you for opportunities in return.
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他們也會推薦機會給你作為回報。
06:30
And remember, the goal of networking, even when it's online,
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切記,建立人脈網的目標,
是避免成為隱形人, 即使在線上也一樣。
06:34
is to avoid invisibility.
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06:37
Begin building these relationships now
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現在就開始建立這些關係,
06:40
so that they're ready when you need them.
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在你需要時,這些關係 就能派上用場了。
06:43
Tip number four: bring in-person online.
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祕訣四:把面對面帶到線上。
在現在這個時代,活動結束 並不表示人脈網的建立也結束了。
06:48
Right now,
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06:49
we're in an era where your networking is not done when the event is.
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06:52
In fact, at that time, our connections are still very light.
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事實上,活動結束時, 我們的人脈連結仍然很薄弱。
06:56
So we must follow up afterwards.
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所以還得做後續追蹤。
06:58
And when we do, make sure to include specifics about what you bonded over
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追蹤時,務必要納入你們 之前建立連結時的具體內容,
07:03
or even just how you were standing in the coffee line when you met.
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即便你們只是在排隊 買咖啡認識的,也要納入。
07:06
And bonus tip -- take a picture at the event with them,
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免費贈送一條祕訣:在活動上要 和對方一起拍照,事後傳給對方,
07:09
and then send it after,
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07:11
as a way of solidifying that memory of who you are.
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這種方式可以強化對方對你的記憶。
07:14
Just like this one here, it does not have to be a perfect picture,
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就像這張照片一樣, 不用拍得多完美,
07:17
but I'll tell you, I will not forget Zivile,
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但我可以告訴各位, 我不會忘記茲薇蕾
07:20
and how we bonded over podcasting at a speaker retreat
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以及我們如何在講者研習營上 因為播客而相識,
07:23
and took this picture while we were surrounded by deer.
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並在我們被鹿給包圍時 拍下了這張照片。
07:26
You can also take this a step further, or rather back.
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你也可以再進一步, 或是說,退一步。
07:30
Before you go to a conference or a new city,
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在你去參加大會或前往新城市之前,
07:33
start teeing up opportunities in advance,
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開始提前創造機會,
07:36
sending carefully crafted messages
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針對你到那裡時想要見的人, 發送精心撰寫的訊息。
07:38
to people that you want to meet while you're there.
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07:41
I did this in Prague, where, before I left,
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我在布拉格就有這麼做, 在我出發前,
07:44
I sent one well-crafted message to a then-stranger on LinkedIn,
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我精心撰寫了訊息,在 LinkedIn 上 發送給一位當時還未相識的人,
這讓我得到在捷克商會上演講的 機會,也有了個很棒的在地導遊。
07:48
and it landed me speaking at the Czechia Chamber of Commerce,
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07:51
and a great local tour guide as well.
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07:53
Just remember those tips one and two --
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只要記住祕訣一和二——先做功課,
07:55
do your research first,
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接著跟他們分享你在那裡時 能如何協助他們。
07:57
and then share how you can help them while you're in town.
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08:00
Tip number five: lose the emojis and be thoughtful.
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祕訣五:別用表情符號, 要深思熟慮。
聽著,我知道你會很想 用表情符號簡單回應。
08:05
Listen, I know sending off a quick emoji response is temptingly easy.
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我也得提醒我自己別這麼做,我懂。
08:11
I have to stop myself from doing it too, I get it.
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08:13
Or we get a new connection request,
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或者當我們收到新的連結請求,
08:16
and right away, when it comes through,
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一收到的當下,我們就會想:
08:18
we're thinking, "OK, now I can sell to them, ask for something, take."
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「好,現在我可以向他們推銷了, 提出要求,索取。」
08:24
OK, slow it down.
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好,先緩一下。
08:26
Let's think of it this way.
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咱們這樣想:
線上談話就像 在打數位網球般來來回回。
08:28
Online conversation is like playing digital tennis.
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08:31
If we just smack the ball over the net without aiming,
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如果我們沒瞄準,就把球打過網,
08:35
we're likely to miss the mark.
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很可能就打不中目標。
08:37
But if we really stop and position ourselves
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如果我們能停下來,調整自己的位置,
08:40
to try and understand where our partner is coming from,
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試圖去了解對方的立場,
08:44
we can serve back something meaningful --
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我們就能給予更有意義的回應——
08:46
a thought, a question or even well-timed feedback.
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一個想法、一個問題, 或甚至適時的回饋意見。
08:51
The art of conversation thrives on back and forth, not just back.
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談話的藝術在於雙向交流, 而非僅僅單向發言。
08:57
So next time you’re tempted to jump right in with your needs
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因此,下次當你想要 馬上提出你的需求時,
09:01
or to just shoot off a quick emoji reaction,
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或想要快速丟出表情符號 來回覆時,先問問自己:
09:04
ask yourself,
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09:05
"Did I give them something they can return?"
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「我有沒有給他們 能夠回應的內容?」
09:08
Tip number six: follow up or fail.
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祕訣六:不做後續追蹤就會失敗。
09:12
In Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone,"
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啟斯‧法拉利的書 《別自個兒用餐》提到
09:14
we learned that 80 percent of building and maintaining relationships
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建立和維持關係有 80% 在於保持聯絡,就這麼簡單。
09:18
is simply staying in touch.
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09:21
We can do this easily.
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我們都能輕鬆做到。
09:22
Send a quick DM, a text message, an email or be generous online.
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發送簡短的私訊、簡訊、電子郵件,
或在網路上表現大方, 比如追蹤、轉發、留言、分享……
09:26
So follow, retweet, comment, share ...
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09:30
Or take a talk like this one, for example.
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或者,用這場演說為例,
09:34
Do you know someone who could benefit from tips like these ones?
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你認識的人當中,有人 需要這場演說談到的祕訣嗎?
09:38
Share helpful resources with people in your network,
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與你人脈網中的朋友分享有益的資源,
09:41
as a way of saying, "I'm thinking of you,"
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這就等同在說:「我有想到你。」
09:44
but with something that's practical and supportive.
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而且還提供了實用、有助益的資源。
09:47
And I will say this slowly, as it is paramount.
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接下來我要慢慢說, 因為這點至關重要。
09:50
The worst thing you can do is not respond
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最糟糕的做法,就是當某人和你聯絡
09:55
when someone has connected with you or answered your questions.
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或回答你的問題時,不給他任何回應。
09:59
We must say "thank you" and close off the conversation for the time being.
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我們必須說「謝謝」 以暫時結束這次談話。
這麼做,才有空間在將來 再次回來開啟這段關係。
10:04
This way, there's space to come back
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10:05
and open up that relationship again, down the road.
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10:09
And finally, the key is to just start.
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最後,關鍵就是要起而行。
10:13
Remember, we all come from the same place,
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切記,大家的起始點都是一樣的,
10:16
naked and with no connections.
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赤裸裸,沒有任何連結。
10:18
(Laughter)
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(笑聲)
10:20
And like us, they're just people, on the other side of that screen.
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他們和我們一樣是凡人, 只是在螢幕的另一端。
10:24
And the more that we craft strong outreach and we get a positive response,
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我們越用心設計有效的聯繫方式 並得到正面的回應,
10:28
the easier that it becomes
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這一切就會變得更容易, 也更讓人興奮,
10:30
and the more exciting it becomes, too,
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10:32
as our communities grow and the opportunities along with it.
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我們的社群會越來越大, 隨之,機會也會越來越多。
10:36
So let's do this.
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所以,咱們來做吧。
10:39
Think of someone you’ve been wanting to connect with.
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想想看有誰是你一直想要連結的人,
10:42
Someone who can help you achieve your goals.
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能幫你實現目標的人,
那個人能給你一向渴求的 重要回饋意見,
10:46
Someone who can give you the critical feedback that you’ve been looking for.
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10:50
Or maybe just that person you’ve been meaning to follow up with.
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或者也許就是你一直 想要保持聯繫的人。
10:53
Think of only one.
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想一個就好。
10:56
I challenge you, reach out to that person today.
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我給各位的挑戰是: 今天去聯絡那個人,
11:01
You're ready to make meaningful connections online right now.
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現在的各位已經準備好 可以去做有意義的線上連結了。
11:07
Thank you.
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謝謝。
11:08
(Cheers and applause)
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(歡呼和掌聲)
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