6 Ways to Make Better Connections Online | Margaux Miller | TED

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: 麗玲 辛

I want to see a show of hands.

請大家用舉手的方式表示意見。

How many of you have ever deleted an email or a social media request

在座有多少人，曾經刪除過 電子郵件或社群媒體邀請，

because it was written like pure spam?

因為它的內容完全像是垃圾郵件？

Yeah, or maybe you deleted it because they got your name wrong.

好，也許你刪除的原因 是你的名字被寫錯了。

Or they used an awful cliché, like "we share mutual interests,"

或者他們用了很糟的籠統陳詞， 例如「我們志趣相投」，

but never took the time to tell you what those were?

但懶得告訴你是哪些志趣？

I remember, a long time ago,

我記得很久以前，我寫了 一封電子郵件給我工作上認識的人。

I sent an email to a business acquaintance of mine.

I was hoping to draw them into my network and maybe get some feedback.

我希望把他們納入我的人脈網， 也許還能得到一些回饋意見。

And so I work hard on it, and I send it off.

我很費心寫了這封信，然後寄出。

And to my surprise,

讓我驚訝的是，他們用 簡訊回覆我，而不是回信。

instead of emailing me back, they sent me a text message.

Awesome. It worked.

讚，這封信有效。

Turns out it was not so awesome.

結果其實沒有那麼讚。

簡訊的內容是問我 為何群發而不是私訊。

The text message was to ask me why I sent them a mass message

instead of a personal one.

Needless to say, I was embarrassed,

不用說，我很不好意思， 但至少簡訊還讓我有第二次機會。

but at least I got that second chance via text message.

Things have evolved a lot since then, and I'll start by telling you this.

從那之後，事情又有很多發展，

首先，先讓我告訴各位：

Today's version of networking has changed.

現今人脈拓展的方式已經改變了。

We once had classes on etiquette.

以前曾經有禮儀課。

我父母的那一代， 可能也包括在座許多人，

And then, my parents' generation, and probably many of you,

都被教導過如何握手、 如何做好眼神接觸。

got literal instructions on how to shake hands

and make eye contact.

And then, the internet blew up,

然後，網際網路大流行， 現在就完全沒有任何指示可循了。

and now, there is no instruction at all.

The skills that once served us well

過去在會議室和社交活動中 那些很有用的技能

in conference rooms and at networking events

are no longer enough.

現在已經不夠了。

Now our networks span the globe.

現今的人脈網橫跨全球。

Today, we have over five billion internet and social media users, respectively,

現今，全世界的網路使用者 就有超過五十億人，

社群媒體使用者也超過五十億，

around the world,

most of us accessing our digital identities

大部份人存取自己的數位身分

所使用的是各位現在 手上或手邊的裝置。

through the device that you either have in your hand right now or close enough.

But this is great, because what this means is that we can reach almost anyone,

這很棒，因為這意味著我們幾乎 可以馬上聯絡到任何地方的任何人。

anywhere, instantly.

And now, I won't make you raise your hand for this next one,

下一個問題就不要求各位舉手了，

but is it possible you might still change jobs one day?

各位將來有沒有可能會換工作？

If so, you should know that the vast majority of job placements

如果會，那各位應該知道， 現今大部份的求職都是透過人脈網。

are now happening through networking.

They're happening through personal and professional connections.

透過私人和專業人脈來進行。

And so what do we do with this?

那我們該怎麼辦？

Well, first, this is not a talk about you becoming an influencer.

嗯，首先，這場演說 不是要談如何成為網紅。

Meaningful online connection

有意義的線上人脈

is not about how many followers you have or what you look like.

重點不在於有多少人追蹤你 或是你看起來如何。

Yet ignoring the power of connecting online,

但，忽略線上人脈連結的力量，

that's not just outdated, it's a significant missed opportunity.

不僅僅是落伍，也會錯失大好機會。

And what we need is a new playbook.

我們需要新的策略指南。

Now making up for my bad email days,

為了彌補之前發送過很糟的電子郵件，

I have since made a career

我後來透過網路，把職涯 建立在連結世界各地的人脈。

out of connecting people online around the world

並從全球互動中汲取豐富經驗，

and drawing from a wealth of global interactions,

I've distilled for you six ways to make better connections online,

我為各位精心整理出 六種改善線上人脈連結的方式，

beginning right now.

可以從現在開始做出改變。

秘訣一：連結而非收集。

Tip number one: Connect, don’t collect.

We’re in an era where scrolling can feel like connecting

在現在這個時代，滑手機 感覺就像在做人脈連結了，

and where we often overlook the fact

我們經常會忽視一點：

that building a helpful community for ourselves is not a numbers game.

為我們自己建立有益的社群 並不是場數字遊戲。

Rather, it's based on the quality and the depth of our relationships.

它的基礎反而是關係的品質和深度。

Think of the common Pareto principle,

想想常見的帕雷托法則，

where 20 percent of our connections yield 80 percent of the results.

我們 20％ 的人脈帶來 80% 的結果。

But for this to work,

但要實現此法則， 就得知道我們為何與人聯繫。

we have to know why we're reaching out.

Have a goal, and do your homework.

要有目標，要做功課。

A strong first impression comes from stronger preparation.

要產生有力的第一印象， 就得更用力去做準備。

Take this message from Tali, for example.

以塔莉的這則訊息為例。

She was looking for a remote job in community building

她想找建置社群的遠端工作， 而她認定我可以協助她。

and identified me as someone who could help her.

But rather than jump right in,

但塔莉沒有馬上找我， 而是先研究我在乎什麼，

Tali did her research on what mattered to me,

接著她很真誠地調整了 她來找我的方式。

and then she tailored her outreach authentically.

This worked, and I ended up getting on a call with her.

這很有效，後來 我確實和她通了電話。

還有一招也有效：

What also can work is sharing what you liked

針對對方最近做的簡報或撰寫的 文章，聊聊你喜歡的點是什麼，

about a recent presentation they gave or an article they wrote

as a way of showing genuine interest.

用這種方式展現你真的感興趣。

And you can use AI and large language models

且你可以使用人工智慧和 大型語言模型幫你做高效的研究——

as a way of doing efficient research for you --

just remember, it's a tool for personalization, not a silver bullet.

切記，它是協助個人化的工具，

不是萬靈丹。

Tip number two: don’t make it about you.

秘訣二：別把重點都放在自己身上。

Dale Carnegie famously said,

戴爾‧卡內基有句名言：

"You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people

「只要花兩個月時間展現出 對他人的興趣，交到的朋友

than you can in two years

就會比花兩年時間讓他人對你 產生興趣，所能交到的朋友還多。」

by trying to get other people interested in you."

Think about that for a minute.

思考一下這句話。

When you receive a message,

當你收到訊息時，

you want to feel like you're the ideal recipient for that message,

你會希望覺得自己就是 那則訊息的最佳收件人，

not just one of many.

沒有「之一」。

So include a clear purpose, a call to action,

所以，訊息要有明確的目的 和具體的行動建議，

and if you can, make that person feel special.

可以的話，試著讓對方 覺得自己很特別。

Tali also did this very well in the second part of her message to me.

塔莉在訊息的第二部分 把這點做得很出色。

她希望能以通話來了解我的職涯。

She asked for a call about my career journey.

So this is great for two reasons.

這個做法很棒的原因有二：

第一，她清楚提出 她想要什麼——通話。

First, she asked clearly for what she wanted -- the call.

And second, she made it about my experience,

第二，她把重點放在我的經歷上，

which makes it really easy to say yes,

會讓我很容易點頭答應，

because I don't need to prepare to talk about myself.

因為我隨時都能談我自己，不用準備。

I hear complaints from friends all the time

常有朋友跟我抱怨，

that get messages with no purpose.

他們收到的訊息都不寫要幹嘛。

The message literally just says "Hello" or "I would like to connect," full stop.

訊息就真的只有「哈囉」 或「我想和你聯絡」，

就沒了，整則訊息就只有這樣。

That's the whole message.

Because the sender is thinking,

因為發訊息的人在想： 「對方回應後，我再來講重點。」

"I'll get to the to the real point once they respond."

Don't do this.

別這樣做。

With no compelling reason for that person to reply,

如果對方覺得沒有 充份的理由需要回覆，

it's likely you won't get that second chance.

對方可能回都不回你。

Tip number three: become a familiar face.

秘訣三：讓對方熟悉你。

A few years ago, I discovered a woman online named Anna.

幾年前，我在網路上 發現了安娜這名女子。

Anna had created a community globally for women in tech.

安娜為科技業的女性 創造了一個全球社群。

This is a topic that I'm personally very passionate about,

我個人十分熱愛這個主題，

and at the time, I was looking

且當時，我正希望能將我的經驗 從地方性支持提升到全球性支持。

to take my experience from a local to a global level of support.

And so I started to comment on Anna's posts,

所以我開始在安娜的貼文下面留言，

hoping she would recognize who I was.

希望她能逐漸認得我這個人。

Eventually, when I reached out to offer my expertise as an emcee,

最後，當我聯絡她表示 我能提供我的主持專長時，

Anna was happy to connect.

安娜記得我，很樂意與我結交。

She had recognized me, and since that call,

從那次通話後，

I now host their annual conference,

現在我負責主持他們的年會，

introducing top executives from companies like Google, Meta and Microsoft.

介紹 Google、Meta， 和微軟等公司的高階主管。

In order to boost your visibility and those chances of new connections,

為了要提高你的能見度 和建立新人脈連結的機會，

試著讓對的人熟悉你，

try to become a familiar face to the right people

so you can go right to their content and engage with it like I did.

你可以學我直接透過 他們發表的內容來和他們互動，

Or you can join online communities, groups and forums,

或者加入線上社群、群組，和討論區。

where you can share your expertise

到那邊分享你的專長，

and identify some of those right people for you.

找出哪些人對你而言是對的人。

And, when you can, tag people relevant to the discussion as well.

此外，能的話，把和討論 相關的人都標註上去。

When you're a connector,

當你成為能牽線的人， 大家就會對你另眼相看，

people start to think really highly of you,

and they also begin to recommend you for opportunities in return.

他們也會推薦機會給你作為回報。

And remember, the goal of networking, even when it's online,

切記，建立人脈網的目標，

是避免成為隱形人， 即使在線上也一樣。

is to avoid invisibility.

Begin building these relationships now

現在就開始建立這些關係，

so that they're ready when you need them.

在你需要時，這些關係 就能派上用場了。

Tip number four: bring in-person online.

祕訣四：把面對面帶到線上。

在現在這個時代，活動結束 並不表示人脈網的建立也結束了。

Right now,

we're in an era where your networking is not done when the event is.

In fact, at that time, our connections are still very light.

事實上，活動結束時， 我們的人脈連結仍然很薄弱。

So we must follow up afterwards.

所以還得做後續追蹤。

And when we do, make sure to include specifics about what you bonded over

追蹤時，務必要納入你們 之前建立連結時的具體內容，

or even just how you were standing in the coffee line when you met.

即便你們只是在排隊 買咖啡認識的，也要納入。

And bonus tip -- take a picture at the event with them,

免費贈送一條祕訣：在活動上要 和對方一起拍照，事後傳給對方，

and then send it after,

as a way of solidifying that memory of who you are.

這種方式可以強化對方對你的記憶。

Just like this one here, it does not have to be a perfect picture,

就像這張照片一樣， 不用拍得多完美，

but I'll tell you, I will not forget Zivile,

但我可以告訴各位， 我不會忘記茲薇蕾

and how we bonded over podcasting at a speaker retreat

以及我們如何在講者研習營上 因為播客而相識，

and took this picture while we were surrounded by deer.

並在我們被鹿給包圍時 拍下了這張照片。

You can also take this a step further, or rather back.

你也可以再進一步， 或是說，退一步。

Before you go to a conference or a new city,

在你去參加大會或前往新城市之前，

start teeing up opportunities in advance,

開始提前創造機會，

sending carefully crafted messages

針對你到那裡時想要見的人， 發送精心撰寫的訊息。

to people that you want to meet while you're there.

I did this in Prague, where, before I left,

我在布拉格就有這麼做， 在我出發前，

I sent one well-crafted message to a then-stranger on LinkedIn,

我精心撰寫了訊息，在 LinkedIn 上 發送給一位當時還未相識的人，

這讓我得到在捷克商會上演講的 機會，也有了個很棒的在地導遊。

and it landed me speaking at the Czechia Chamber of Commerce,

and a great local tour guide as well.

Just remember those tips one and two --

只要記住祕訣一和二——先做功課，

do your research first,

接著跟他們分享你在那裡時 能如何協助他們。

and then share how you can help them while you're in town.

Tip number five: lose the emojis and be thoughtful.

祕訣五：別用表情符號， 要深思熟慮。

聽著，我知道你會很想 用表情符號簡單回應。

Listen, I know sending off a quick emoji response is temptingly easy.

我也得提醒我自己別這麼做，我懂。

I have to stop myself from doing it too, I get it.

Or we get a new connection request,

或者當我們收到新的連結請求，

and right away, when it comes through,

一收到的當下，我們就會想：

we're thinking, "OK, now I can sell to them, ask for something, take."

「好，現在我可以向他們推銷了， 提出要求，索取。」

OK, slow it down.

好，先緩一下。

Let's think of it this way.

咱們這樣想：

線上談話就像 在打數位網球般來來回回。

Online conversation is like playing digital tennis.

If we just smack the ball over the net without aiming,

如果我們沒瞄準，就把球打過網，

we're likely to miss the mark.

很可能就打不中目標。

But if we really stop and position ourselves

如果我們能停下來，調整自己的位置，

to try and understand where our partner is coming from,

試圖去了解對方的立場，

we can serve back something meaningful --

我們就能給予更有意義的回應——

a thought, a question or even well-timed feedback.

一個想法、一個問題， 或甚至適時的回饋意見。

The art of conversation thrives on back and forth, not just back.

談話的藝術在於雙向交流， 而非僅僅單向發言。

So next time you’re tempted to jump right in with your needs

因此，下次當你想要 馬上提出你的需求時，

or to just shoot off a quick emoji reaction,

或想要快速丟出表情符號 來回覆時，先問問自己：

ask yourself,

"Did I give them something they can return?"

「我有沒有給他們 能夠回應的內容？」

Tip number six: follow up or fail.

祕訣六：不做後續追蹤就會失敗。

In Keith Ferrazzi's book "Never Eat Alone,"

啟斯‧法拉利的書 《別自個兒用餐》提到

we learned that 80 percent of building and maintaining relationships

建立和維持關係有 80% 在於保持聯絡，就這麼簡單。

is simply staying in touch.

We can do this easily.

我們都能輕鬆做到。

Send a quick DM, a text message, an email or be generous online.

發送簡短的私訊、簡訊、電子郵件，

或在網路上表現大方， 比如追蹤、轉發、留言、分享……

So follow, retweet, comment, share ...

Or take a talk like this one, for example.

或者，用這場演說為例，

Do you know someone who could benefit from tips like these ones?

你認識的人當中，有人 需要這場演說談到的祕訣嗎？

Share helpful resources with people in your network,

與你人脈網中的朋友分享有益的資源，

as a way of saying, "I'm thinking of you,"

這就等同在說：「我有想到你。」

but with something that's practical and supportive.

而且還提供了實用、有助益的資源。

And I will say this slowly, as it is paramount.

接下來我要慢慢說， 因為這點至關重要。

The worst thing you can do is not respond

最糟糕的做法，就是當某人和你聯絡

when someone has connected with you or answered your questions.

或回答你的問題時，不給他任何回應。

We must say "thank you" and close off the conversation for the time being.

我們必須說「謝謝」 以暫時結束這次談話。

這麼做，才有空間在將來 再次回來開啟這段關係。

This way, there's space to come back

and open up that relationship again, down the road.

And finally, the key is to just start.

最後，關鍵就是要起而行。

Remember, we all come from the same place,

切記，大家的起始點都是一樣的，

naked and with no connections.

赤裸裸，沒有任何連結。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And like us, they're just people, on the other side of that screen.

他們和我們一樣是凡人， 只是在螢幕的另一端。

And the more that we craft strong outreach and we get a positive response,

我們越用心設計有效的聯繫方式 並得到正面的回應，

the easier that it becomes

這一切就會變得更容易， 也更讓人興奮，

and the more exciting it becomes, too,

as our communities grow and the opportunities along with it.

我們的社群會越來越大， 隨之，機會也會越來越多。

So let's do this.

所以，咱們來做吧。

Think of someone you’ve been wanting to connect with.

想想看有誰是你一直想要連結的人，

Someone who can help you achieve your goals.

能幫你實現目標的人，

那個人能給你一向渴求的 重要回饋意見，

Someone who can give you the critical feedback that you’ve been looking for.

Or maybe just that person you’ve been meaning to follow up with.

或者也許就是你一直 想要保持聯繫的人。

Think of only one.

想一個就好。

I challenge you, reach out to that person today.

我給各位的挑戰是： 今天去聯絡那個人，

You're ready to make meaningful connections online right now.

現在的各位已經準備好 可以去做有意義的線上連結了。

Thank you.

謝謝。

(Cheers and applause)

（歡呼和掌聲）