Your elusive creative genius | Elizabeth Gilbert

譯者: Jing Yao 審譯者: jianfeng liu

I am a writer.

我是個作家

Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.

寫作是我的專業，但當然，不僅如此

It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.

這也是我一輩子的最愛與迷戀

And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.

所以我也沒想過這會有所改變

But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently

但，說到這，最近有件相當奇特的事發生了

in my life and in my career,

在我的生命與事業生涯中

which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.

這讓我重新審查我與這份工作間的整個關係

And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,

而這特別的事就是我最近寫了這本書

this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"

這本回憶錄叫做"飲食，禱告，愛"

which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,

這本書很明顯地，跟我之前的書很不一樣

went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,

因著某些原因被出版

mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.

並成為相當轟動且國際知名的暢銷書

The result of which is that everywhere I go now,

這讓我現在不論到了哪

people treat me like I'm doomed.

人們都異樣地對待我，彷彿我已經完蛋了

Seriously -- doomed, doomed!

真的! 玩完了，沒救了！

Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say,

像是，他們會往前走向我，並擔心地說著

"你不怕嗎？你不擔心你再沒有辦法寫出超越這本書的作品了嗎？"

"Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?

Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life

你不怕你終身都要一直寫作嗎？

and you're never again going to create a book

你不怕你再也無法創作出一本

that anybody in the world cares about at all,

讓全世界的人都在乎的書

ever again?"

從此不再

So that's reassuring, you know.

所以這一切都還蠻慶幸的，你也知道的

But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember

但情況也可能更糟，要不是我突然記起

that over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager,

二十年前，當我還是個青少年時，我第一次開始告訴人們

when I first started telling people that I wanted to be a writer,

我想要成為一個作家

我常碰到同樣帶著出自幾分恐懼的反應

I was met with this same sort of fear-based reaction.

然後人們會說，"難道你不怕你永遠都不會成功嗎？"

And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?

Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?

難道你不怕被人拒絕的恥辱會把你逼到絕路嗎？

Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft

難道你不怕終身都要做著這樣的工作

卻一點成就都沒有嗎？

and nothing's ever going to come of it

然後你就這樣困死在破碎的夢當中

and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams

言語中還充滿著失敗的苦楚

with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

Like that, you know.

諸如此類，你知道的

The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."

這答案，所有問題的答案，就是"是的"

Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.

是的，我是害怕著這所有的事情

And I always have been.

而且我一直這樣害怕著

And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides

而同時也有更多的事令我感到害怕

that people can't even guess at,

這些是其他人不曾猜想到的

like seaweed and other things that are scary.

像是海草，還有其他可怕的東西

But, when it comes to writing,

但，當講到寫作這一件事

the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately,

我最近常想到，並且不斷思索的是"為什麼"

is why?

你知道的，這合理嗎？

You know, is it rational?

這合乎邏輯嗎？人們被預期著

Is it logical that anybody should be expected

to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.

應該要為他們覺得在這世上註定做的工作感到害怕

And what is it specifically about creative ventures

你知道的，創意工作到底有著什麼樣具體的東西

that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health

似乎用著某種方式，讓我們變得如此緊張擔心於彼此的心靈健康

in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?

在別種行業不太會這樣，對嗎？

Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer

舉個例來說，像我父親，他是個化學工程師

and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering

而你知道嗎？在他四十年的化學工程生涯中，我不曾記得

anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?

任何人問過他是否他害怕成為一個化學工程師

"That chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?"

並沒有。 化學工程妨礙了約翰嗎？，狀況如何了呢？

It just didn't come up like that, you know?

你知道的，事情並沒有變成這樣

But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group

但平心而論，化學工程總體來說

haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries

在過去的幾個世紀裡，並沒有因酗酒躁鬱症

for being alcoholic manic-depressives.

而享譽全世界

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,

我們作家，就有點這樣的聲譽

and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,

當然不只是作家，也包含了各領域的創作人才

it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.

似乎都有著情緒非常不穩定的惡名

And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count

你所需做的就是看看光在二十世紀，就有無數偉大的創作靈魂隕落

in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds

這是多令人悲痛的死亡

who died young and often at their own hands, you know?

這些藝術家通常早逝且總是死於自己的手上，你知道嗎？

And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide

而即使是那些沒有真的自殺的人

seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.

就像你所知的，似乎也因著他們的天賦而被困擾抑鬱著

Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said,

諾曼˙梅勒，就在他死前的最後一場訪問，他說道

"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."

"每個在我書中出現的角色都扼殺了我一些

An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.

你知道的，這是對於你生命中的作品非常特殊的陳述

But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this,

但當我們聽到有人這樣說時，我們甚至連眼睛都不會眨一下

because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long

因為長久以來我們都聽著這類的話語

and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively

且不知為何，我們完全將這觀念內化並全面接受

this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked

這觀念就是--我們的創造力和所遭受的痛苦息息相關

and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.

而其中藝術的本質，到頭來，都會導致心中的苦悶

And the question that I want to ask everybody here today

而今天我想問在場各位的問題是

is are you guys all cool with that idea?

你們全部都接受這樣的想法嗎？

Are you comfortable with that?

你覺得這樣妥當嗎？

Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know --

因為即使是從一吋遠的地方來看這件事

I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.

我對這樣的臆測仍無法完全認同

I think it's odious.

我覺得這是很可恨的

And I also think it's dangerous,

我也認為這是危險的

and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.

而且我並不想看到這樣的想法延伸到下一個世紀

我認為如果我們激勵我們偉大的創造心靈繼續活躍下去，那會更好

I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.

And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --

我當然知道，就我而言，在我的狀況來說

it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path

如果我開始走入剛提的那條黑暗的假設路途，那是相當危險的

of assumption,

尤其是我現在處於這樣的處境中

particularly given the circumstance that I'm in right now in my career.

處於現在的工作環境中

Which is -- you know, like check it out,

這有點像是，你懂的，你瞧

I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.

我相當年輕，我只有大概40歲

也許我還有大概另外四十年的工作年頭

I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.

And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward

而很有可能的是我從這一刻起寫的東西

is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after

將被世界論斷為我上一部

the freakish success of my last book, right?

曠世巨作後的作品

I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --

我應該直說，因為我們現在在此有點像是朋友

it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.

很有可能的是，我最偉大的作品已在我身後了

So Jesus, what a thought!

噢，天啊，這是多糟的一個想法

That's the kind of thought that could lead a person

你知道的，這是那種想法，會讓一個人

to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning,

一早九點就開始喝著琴酒

and I don't want to go there.

而我並不想這樣

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.

我較喜歡繼續做我愛的工作

而這問題現在變成該怎麼辦呢？

And so, the question becomes, how?

And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,

似乎對我來說，在多次省思後

that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,

為了能繼續寫作，我現在必須採取的方式是

is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?

我必須創造出某種保護式的心理架構

I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance

從現在起，我必須，有點像是找出某個方式讓我在寫作時

between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety

在我內心憂慮與我本身間保持安全距離

about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.

而這憂慮無非來自他人對作品的反應

And, as I've been looking, over the last year,

過去的幾年，為了如何做到，我一直在尋找可以仿效的模式

for models for how to do that,

I've been sort of looking across time,

我依著歷史的時間軸去尋找

and I've been trying to find other societies

我也一直在找其他的社會模式

to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have

看看是否他們有更好且更合乎情理的想法

about how to help creative people

讓我們可以知道如何幫助有創作力的人們

sort of manage the inherent emotional risks of creativity.

這有點像是管理創作力下天生的情緒風險

And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.

這研究引領我回到古希臘與古羅馬

So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.

所以請專心聽我說，因為我們還會繞回來講這個話題

But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --

但，當時古老的希臘與羅馬人

people did not happen to believe that creativity

並不是湊巧相信創造力

came from human beings back then, OK?

來自於人類

People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit

人們相信創造力是種跟隨著人的神聖靈魂

that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,

這來自於遙遠不可知的源頭，並存於人類

for distant and unknowable reasons.

因著遙遠且不可知的原因

The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."

著名的希臘人稱這伴隨著人的創造力神聖靈魂為"守護神"

Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon

名聲顯赫的蘇格拉底相信他就有這樣的守護神

who spoke wisdom to him from afar.

會從遠方向他傾瀉智慧

The Romans had the same idea,

羅馬人也有相同的概念

but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.

但他們稱這種虛幻的創作靈為天才

Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think

這是很棒的，因為事實上羅馬人並不認為

that a genius was a particularly clever individual.

天才是一個聰慧的單獨個體

They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,

他們相信天才是一種不可思議並神聖的實體

who was believed to literally live in the walls of an artist's studio,

並相信這實體是真的住在藝術家工作室的牆壁中

有點像是家中的小精靈多比

kind of like Dobby the house elf,

and who would come out

祂能不為人察覺地出現並幫助藝術家完成作品

and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work

並修飾作品讓其成形

and would shape the outcome of that work.

So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about --

這是如此地聰慧！就是這個，這就是我在講的距離

that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.

心靈層面的構造可以讓你與作品保持距離

And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?

而大家都知道這是如何運行的，對吧？

So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,

所以古代的藝術家就可以受到保護，不被某些事物影響

like, for example, too much narcissism, right?

像是，太多的自我陶醉，對吧？

If your work was brilliant, you couldn't take all the credit for it,

如果你有著令人讚嘆的作品，你不能完全歸功於你本身

everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.

大家都知道你有著這非實體的天才幫著你

If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?

如果你工作不順，這也不完全是你的錯，明白嗎？

Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.

大家會知道你內的天才有點拙劣

(Laughter)

這就是西方人長久以來對創造力的看法

And this is how people thought about creativity in the West

for a really long time.

接著文藝復興來臨並改變了所有的事

And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,

and we had this big idea, and the big idea was,

我們有了這偉大的想法，也就是

let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe

我們將人類個人放在宇宙的中心

超越所有的神與一切的神祕事物，而且沒有留下多餘的空間

above all gods and mysteries,

and there's no more room for mystical creatures

給轉述神聖話語的奧祕生物

who take dictation from the divine.

And it's the beginning of rational humanism,

這就是理性人文主義的開端

and people started to believe that creativity

人們開始相信

創造力完完全全來自人類本身

came completely from the self of the individual.

And for the first time in history,

在歷史上，頭一次

you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius,

你開始聽到人們稱這個或那個藝術家為天才

rather than having a genius.

而非身邊有著天才的靈

And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.

而我必須告訴你，我認為這是個極大的錯誤

You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person

你知道的，我認為任憑一個人，就只是一個人

to believe that he or she is like, the vessel,

去相信他或她自己就像是個容器

you know, like the font and the essence and the source

負載著像是所有神聖、有著創造力的、不可知的、永恆的奧祕

這些事物的形狀、本質與源頭

of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery

is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.

這只是在人類脆弱的靈魂上放上太多的責任

It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.

這就像要一個人去吞下太陽

It just completely warps and distorts egos,

這只會完全扭曲挫敗一個人的自我

and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.

並製造出無法預期與掌握的成果

And I think the pressure of that

我想這帶來的壓力

has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.

已在過去的五百年中扼殺了我們身旁的藝術家

And, if this is true,

而，如果這是真的

and I think it is true,

我想這也的確是真的

the question becomes, what now?

現在面臨到的問題是，怎麻辦？

Can we do this differently?

我們是否可以有不同的作為？

Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding

也許可以回溯到更古老的理解方式

about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.

去看待人們與創造奧祕間的關係

Maybe not.

也許不行

Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought

也許我們不能就這樣在十八分鐘的演講中

in one 18 minute speech.

就這樣抹煞了五百多年的理性人文主義

And there's probably people in this audience

也許在今天的觀眾中

who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions

會有人提出相當合法的科學懷疑

about the notion of, basically, fairies

懷疑有關精靈的這種基本觀念

who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.

這些精靈跟著人們到處跑並在作品上撒下精靈水

I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.

或許，我並無法讓你們同意我的看法

But the question that I kind of want to pose is --

但我要提出的問題是

you know, why not?

你知道的，為何不這樣想？

Why not think about it this way?

為何不用這樣的方式作思考呢？

Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard

因為這就跟我聽過的其他事情一樣地有道理

in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness

尤其是在解釋這徹底瘋狂並變化無常的

of the creative process.

創作過程

A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --

在創作過程中，當一個人試著創作出些什麼時

基本上來說，在座的每個人

which is to say basically everyone here ---

knows does not always behave rationally.

都知道創作者並不總是理性地創作著

And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.

而且，事實上，我們有時會覺得完全超乎常理

I had this encounter recently

當我最近遇到傑出的美國詩人露絲·斯通時，就有這樣的感受

where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,

who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life

她現在約九十多歲，在其一生中，她一直扮演詩人的角色

and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,

她告訴我她成長於維吉利亞的鄉間

she would be out working in the fields,

她會在外面的田野工作著

and she said she would feel and hear a poem

在那時，她會感受到並聽到一首詩

coming at her from over the landscape.

從山水景色中來到她眼前

And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.

她說這就像是列車行駛下轟隆轟隆響的空氣

And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.

在山水之間向她傾洩而下

然後她會感受到這股力量，因為這股力量會晃動她腳下的大地

And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.

She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,

她很清楚在當下，她必須做的只有一件事

and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."

那就是，套句她的話，"死命地奔跑"

And she would run like hell to the house

然後她會瘋狂奔跑到房子裡

and she would be getting chased by this poem,

像是快被詩追趕上一般

這一切就是要她是以極快的速度拿出紙筆

and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil

快到讓她可以在當這一切靈感奔向她時，她可以匯集到一切

fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it

並將其呈現在字句之間

當然有時她速度不夠快

and grab it on the page.

And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,

所以她會一直奔跑，卻怎樣也跑不回家裡

so she'd be running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house

而這首詩不再傾洩而下，她錯過了這首詩

and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it

她說這靈感會繼續在山水間尋找

and she said it would continue on across the landscape,

如她說的"尋找另一個詩人"

looking, as she put it "for another poet."

然後也會有著這樣的時候

And then there were these times --

this is the piece I never forgot --

這是我不會忘記的片刻

she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?

她說她也會有幾乎錯過一首詩的時候

So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper

所以，她會跑向房子並找出紙來

然後詩會向她襲來

and the poem passes through her,

and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her,

當詩襲向她時，她會抓下一枝筆

and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand

接著她說，這就像她伸出了另一隻手

然後她會抓住這感覺

and she would catch it.

她會抓住這首詩的尾巴

She would catch the poem by its tail,

接著她會順勢把詩向後拉入身體內

and she would pull it backwards into her body

as she was transcribing on the page.

並同時謄寫於紙本上時

And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact

就在這些瞬間中，詩會精準完美地躍然紙上

but backwards, from the last word to the first.

由後往前，從最後一個字到第一個字

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny,

所以當我聽到我就像--這真的很不可思議

that's exactly what my creative process is like.

這簡直像是的我創作過程

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!

這也不完全就是我的創作過程，我並不像一個輸油管

I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work

我就像隻驢子，而我必須工作的方式

is I have to get up at the same time every day,

就是每天必須同一時間起床

然後笨拙地，汗如雨下地創作著

and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.

但即使在我笨拙努力下

But even I, in my mulishness,

even I have brushed up against that thing, at times.

即使我不時潤飾我的作品

And I would imagine that a lot of you have too.

我可以想像得到你們大多數人也會這樣

You know, even I have had work or ideas come through me from a source

你們知道的，即使我努力創作或有著點子從某處向我展現時

that I honestly cannot identify.

老實說，我無法認清這源頭

And what is that thing?

而這是什麼呢？

And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds,

我們要用怎樣的方式與其相處卻不會讓我們喪失心智

but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?

而是，事實上，卻很有可能讓我們保持清醒呢？

And for me, the best contemporary example that I have of how to do that

對我來說，當代有個最好的例子讓我知道怎樣做到

is the musician Tom Waits,

那就是音樂家湯姆威茲

who I got to interview several years ago on a magazine assignment.

我幾年前曾因雜誌社的工作需要去採訪過他

And we were talking about this,

我們討論著這個話題

and you know, Tom, for most of his life, he was pretty much the embodiment

你知道的，湯姆，終其一生，是個實實在在

of the tormented contemporary modern artist,

受盡折磨的當代藝術家的化身

他試著去控制、管理並主宰

trying to control and manage and dominate

these sort of uncontrollable creative impulses

這些無法掌控的創造衝動

that were totally internalized.

而這些衝動完全是內化的

But then he got older, he got calmer,

但隨著年紀增長，他也越趨內斂

and one day he was driving down the freeway in Los Angeles,

有天他自洛杉磯的高速公路開車，他告訴我

and this is when it all changed for him.

而這就是改變他一生的時刻

And he's speeding along, and all of a sudden

當時他正在加速前進，突然間

he hears this little fragment of melody,

他聽到了這美妙旋律的片段

that comes into his head as inspiration often comes, elusive and tantalizing,

這就像靈感臨到他腦海中，難以捉摸卻又令人心動著急

and he wants it, it's gorgeous,

你知道的，他迫切地想抓住它

and he longs for it, but he has no way to get it.

這是如此的珍貴，而他迫切地渴望著，但他沒辦法得著

He doesn't have a piece of paper, or a pencil, or a tape recorder.

他沒有紙或筆

他也沒有錄音機

So he starts to feel all of that old anxiety start to rise in him

於是他感覺到以往的焦急又開始向他襲擊而來

像是，'我就要失去這靈感了!"

like, "I'm going to lose this thing,

and I'll be be haunted by this song forever.

"然後這旋律又要在我腦海中永遠揮之不去！"

I'm not good enough, and I can't do it."

"我不夠好，我做不到！"

And instead of panicking, he just stopped.

沒有驚恐，相反地，他停下來

He just stopped that whole mental process and he did something completely novel.

他只是停下這所有的心理過程

接著他做了件滿新穎的事

He just looked up at the sky, and he said,

他只是抬頭望著天空，然後說

"Excuse me, can you not see that I'm driving?"

"不好意思，難道你看不出來我正在開車嗎？"

(Laughter)

(笑聲）

"Do I look like I can write down a song right now?

"我現在看起來像是可以寫下一首歌嗎？

If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment

如果你真的想要給我這樣的靈感，那就等等適合的時候

when I can take care of you.

等我有空應付的時候再來

Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.

否則，今天就先去找別人吧

Go bother Leonard Cohen."

去麻煩李歐納科恩吧

And his whole work process changed after that.

接著他整個的創作過程都改變了

Not the work, the work was still oftentimes as dark as ever.

並不是作品本身，他的作品仍像以往一般黑暗

But the process, and the heavy anxiety around it

但這過程，還有這其中巨大的焦慮感

was released when he took the genie, the genius out of him

都在他將這創作的精靈解放出來時，也獲得舒緩

where it was causing nothing but trouble, and released it back where it came from,

在他心中，這天才引起的僅是困擾，將其釋放到它來的地方

他瞭解這一切用不著像是現在這樣在心裡折磨或痛苦著

and realized that this didn't have to be this internalized, tormented thing.

這可以是獨特的，奇妙的，而又奇怪的結合

It could be this peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration,

kind of conversation between Tom and the strange, external thing

有點像是湯姆和不太像湯姆本身

that was not quite Tom.

這奇異外界事物間的對話

When I heard that story, it started to shift a little bit

所以當我聽到這個故事，我也開始慢慢轉換我創作的方式

the way that I worked too, and this idea already saved me once.

這也已經救過我一次

It saved me when I was in the middle of writing "Eat, Pray, Love,"

這觀點救了我一次，救出現在當我正在寫"飲食，祈禱，愛""

and I fell into one of those sort of pits of despair

我又掉入了某個絕望的坑洞裡

that we all fall into when we're working on something and it's not coming

當我們在專注創作於某個作品時，我們會陷進去，靈感卻一直不來¥¥

and you start to think this is going to be a disaster, the worst book ever written.

然後你開始會覺得這又將是一個大災難

這將會是我寫過最糟的一本書

Not just bad, but the worst book ever written.

不僅是糟糕，還會是有史以來最爛的

我甚至會開始想我應該就把這計畫丟掉了

And I started to think I should just dump this project.

But then I remembered Tom talking to the open air

但接著我又想到湯姆和空氣喊話的場景

and I tried it.

我試了一試

So I just lifted my face up from the manuscript

所以我就從手稿中抬起頭來

and I directed my comments to an empty corner of the room.

我對著房間的空角落講出了心中的想法

And I said aloud, "Listen you, thing,

接著我大聲地喊著，"你！聽著！

you and I both know that if this book isn't brilliant

你跟我都知道如果這本書不夠精彩

that is not entirely my fault, right?

這並不完全是我的錯，對嗎？

Because you can see that I am putting everything I have into this,

因為你看的出來我已經盡全力去創作了

I don't have any more than this.

我再也擠不出任何更好的東西了

If you want it to be better, you've got to show up and do your part of the deal.

所以你若是要讓這創作更好，那你就要出現並做好你該做的工作

如果你不做，也沒關係，你知道嗎？那就算了

But if you don't do that, you know what, the hell with it.

我還是會繼續寫作因為這是我的工作

I'm going to keep writing anyway because that's my job.

And I would please like the record to reflect today

我希望今天記錄上記載的是

我現身在我的工作崗位上

that I showed up for my part of the job."

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

Because --

因為

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Because in the end it's like this, OK --

到最後會有點像

centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa,

在幾世紀前的北非沙漠中

people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music

人們會為著月光下神聖的舞蹈與音樂聚集著

that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn.

這會延續著數小時，直到黎明

They were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals

這表演總是十分壯觀，因為舞者門相當的專業

and they were terrific, right?

而且他們也很棒，對吧？

但偶爾，很少地，還是會有這樣的事發生

But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen,

and one of these performers would actually become transcendent.

其中會有一位表演者真的表現得比別人優越

And I know you know what I'm talking about,

我知道你們都明白我在講什麼

because I know you've all seen, at some point in your life,

因為我知道在你們生命中某些時刻一定看過像這樣的表演

a performance like this.

It was like time would stop,

這一瞬間時間好像靜止了

and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal

舞者會有點像是穿越過某種入口

他所跳的動作其實跟一千個夜晚前做的表演沒有任何不同

and he wasn't doing anything different

than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before,

but everything would align.

但一切都會安排好

And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human.

突然之間，他表現得不再像只是一個人類

他會自內部發光，從心底層發光

He would be lit from within, and lit from below

and all lit up on fire with divinity.

因著這神靈，所有的事物都跟著在火上發光

And when this happened, back then,

當這樣的事發生時

people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name.

當時的人們都知道為何會這樣，你知道的，他們會呼喊它的名

They would put their hands together and they would start to chant,

他們會把手牽起來，開始吟唱著

"Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God."

"阿拉，阿拉，阿拉，神啊，神，我的神！"

That's God, you know.

這就是神，你知道嗎？

Curious historical footnote:

這是很奇異的歷史註腳

when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them

當摩爾帝國侵略南西班牙時，他們帶著這個習俗

and the pronunciation changed over the centuries

而在過去的幾個世紀裡，發音也隨著改變

from "Allah, Allah, Allah," to "Olé, olé, olé,"

從 "阿拉，阿拉，阿拉"到 ","歐勒，歐勒，歐勒"

which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances.

這你可能在鬥牛賽與佛朗明歌中聽到

In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic,

在西班牙，當一個表演者做了件不可能且不可思議的表演時

"Allah, olé, olé, Allah, magnificent, bravo,"

"阿拉！歐勒！歐勒！阿拉！棒呆了！好極了！

incomprehensible, there it is -- a glimpse of God.

不可置信的，就在那裡，你在表演者身上看到上天的化身

Which is great, because we need that.

這是很棒的，因為我們需要這些

But, the tricky bit comes the next morning,

但，隔天早上詭譎的事發生了

for the dancer himself, when he wakes up and discovers

當舞者他自己起床時

that it's Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he's no longer a glimpse of God.

會發現時間是星期二的早上11點，而他身上再也看不到神的影子

He's just an aging mortal with really bad knees,

他只會個會老化的人類，並有著受傷的膝蓋

and maybe he's never going to ascend to that height again.

也許他再也無法到達那樣的表演高峰

And maybe nobody will ever chant God's name again as he spins,

也許當他表演旋轉時，再也沒有人會吟唱著神的名字

and what is he then to do with the rest of his life?

那他餘生該怎麼辦呢？

This is hard.

這相當棘手

This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make

這是我們在創作生涯中

in a creative life.

必須做的最痛苦的妥協之一

But maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish

但也許這一切不用這樣的痛苦

if you never happened to believe, in the first place,

如果你在一開始就不曾相信

that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you.

你自我最獨特的部分是來自於你本身

But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you

也許你只是深信這些不凡的能力是借給你的

from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life

來自某個不可思議的地方，為著成就你生命中某個細膩的部分

to be passed along when you're finished,

而這些能力會在結束後，傳給下一個人

with somebody else.

And, you know, if we think about it this way, it starts to change everything.

而你知道的，當我們這樣想時，這就會開始改變所有的事

This is how I've started to think,

這就是我重新思考的方式

and this is certainly how I've been thinking in the last few months

這當然也是過去幾個月我所思考的方式

as I've been working on the book that will soon be published,

同時我也忙於創作即將出版的下一本書

as the dangerously, frighteningly over-anticipated follow up

也就是被過於期待到令我感到恐怖甚至驚慌

to my freakish success.

上一本熱門暢銷書的續集

And what I have to sort of keep telling myself

我所必須一直告訴我自己的是

when I get really psyched out about that is don't be afraid.

當我因創作又真的快精神崩潰時

要知道，不要害怕

Don't be daunted. Just do your job.

別畏懼

做你該做的

Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.

繼續堅守在你的工作崗位上，無論這工作是什麼

If your job is to dance, do your dance.

如果你的工作是跳舞，那就跳好你的舞

If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case

如果那個分派到你創作上的那個非凡卻又荒誕的精靈

decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment

決定在某些瞬間讓令人讚嘆的事

through your efforts, then "Olé!"

透過你的創作被看見，那就真的太棒了

若是沒有，那就繼續跳舞

And if not, do your dance anyhow.

And "Olé!" to you, nonetheless.

即使如此，你還是最棒的

I believe this and I feel that we must teach it.

我深信不疑，也覺得我們應該把這個觀念教導出去

不管怎樣，你都是最棒的

"Olé!" to you, nonetheless,

just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness

憑藉著人類單純的愛與執著

to keep showing up.

持續地堅守著我們的工作崗位

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）

Thank you.

謝謝大家

(Applause)

（掌聲）

June Cohen: Olé!

瓊恩科恩：歐勒

(Applause)

（掌聲）