Your elusive creative genius | Elizabeth Gilbert

Translator: Alia Makki Reviewer: Zulfikar Yurnaidi

I am a writer.

Saya seorang penulis.

Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.

Menulis adalah profesi saya, tapi tentunya juga lebih dari itu.

It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.

Bagi saya, menulis merupakan cinta terbesar dan paling mengagumkan.

And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.

Dan saya yakin itu tidak akan pernah berubah.

But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently

Tetapi, ada sesuatu yang cukup ganjil akhir-akhir ini

in my life and in my career,

baik dalam hidup maupun karier saya

which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.

yang memaksa saya untuk menyesuaikan kembali hubungan antara pribadi dan pekerjaan saya.

And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,

Hal aneh itu adalah bahwa buku yang baru saya tulis,

this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"

sebuah memoar dengan judul "Eat, Pray, Love" (Makan, Doa, Cinta)

which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,

yang memutuskan untuk berbeda dengan buku-buku saya sebelumnya

went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,

dengan merambah dunia dan membesar di sana

mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.

menjadi sebuah bestseller internasional penuh sensasi

The result of which is that everywhere I go now,

Jadinya, kemanapun saya pergi sekarang

people treat me like I'm doomed.

saya diperlakukan seakan terkena malapetaka.

Seriously -- doomed, doomed!

Serius -- Petaka Tujuh Kali.

Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say,

Orang menemui saya dan dengan khawatir berkata,

"Tidakkah kamu khawatir ini akan menjadi pencapaian tertinggi kamu?

"Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?

Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life

Tidakkah kamu khawatir akan selamanya terus menulis

and you're never again going to create a book

tanpa pernah menerbitkan satu buku pun

that anybody in the world cares about at all,

yang dipedulikan siapapun lagi

ever again?"

selama-lamanya?"

So that's reassuring, you know.

Sangat menentramkan hati, ya?

But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember

Bisa lebih parah lagi, seandainya saya melupakan

that over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager,

bahwa 20 tahun yang lalu, saat pertama kali memutuskan - saat masih remaja --

when I first started telling people that I wanted to be a writer,

untuk menjadi seorang penulis

saya dihadapkan dengan reaksi berdasarkan ketakutan yang sama

I was met with this same sort of fear-based reaction.

Dan orang-orang di sekitar saya bilang, "Tidakkah khawatir gagal?

And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?

Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?

Tidakkah takut akan rasa malu jika ditolak?

Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft

Atau takut umurmu habis bergelut dengan pekerjaan ini

tanpa pernah menghasilkan apapun

and nothing's ever going to come of it

sampai mati di atas tumpukan mimpi yang hancur

and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams

dengan mulut berbusa pahitnya abu kegagalan?"

with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"

(Tawa)

(Laughter)

Like that, you know.

Ya, seperti itu.

The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."

Jawabannya - untuk semua pertanyaan di atas adalah, "Ya".

Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.

Ya, saya takut akan semua itu.

And I always have been.

Dan memang selalu takut.

And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides

Dan saya juga takut akan hal-hal lain

that people can't even guess at,

yang mungkin tidak terpikirkan oleh orang.

like seaweed and other things that are scary.

seperti rumput laut dan lainnya.

But, when it comes to writing,

Tentang menulis,

the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately,

pertanyaan yang akhir-akhir ini menghantui saya adalah "mengapa"?

is why?

Apakah masuk akal?

You know, is it rational?

Apakah logis bahwa setiap orang diharapkan

Is it logical that anybody should be expected

to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.

untuk takut menghadapi pekerjaan yang mereka pilih di Bumi?

And what is it specifically about creative ventures

Memang apa yang salah dengan bidang kerja kreatif

that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health

yang membuat kita begitu khawatir akan kesehatan mental satu sama lain

in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?

yang berbeda dengan bidang pekerjaan yang lain?

Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer

Ayah saya, misalnya, seorang insinyur kimia

and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering

sepanjang 40 tahun karirnya di bidang kimia

anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?

Ayah tidak pernah ditanya, apa dia takut menjadi insinyur kimia

"That chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?"

Tidak pernah sekalipun -- apa kabarnya si insinyur kimia bebal John?

It just didn't come up like that, you know?

Tidak pernah seperti itu, kan?

But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group

Dalam kenyataan, insinyur kimia sebagai kelompok

haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries

tidak pernah sekalipun menyandang reputasi

for being alcoholic manic-depressives.

sebagai depresif maniak yang alkoholik.

(Laughter)

(Tawa penonton)

We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,

Sementara kita, penulis, menyandang reputasi itu,

and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,

dan bukan hanya penulis, tapi juga umumnya pekerja kreatif

it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.

cenderung dianggap memiliki mental yang labil.

And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count

Kita tinggal melihat daftar kematian kelam

in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds

pada abad keduapuluh, tentang para pemikir kreatif.

who died young and often at their own hands, you know?

yang meninggal di usia muda dan seringnya karena bunuh diri.

And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide

Bahkan mereka yang tidak bunuh diri secara harfiah

seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.

seakan tidak pernah puas dengan bakat mereka.

Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said,

Norman Mailer, dalam wawancara terakhirnya sebelum meninggal bilang,

"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."

"Tiap buku yang kutulis membunuhku sedikit demi sedikit"

An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.

Sebuah ungkapan luar biasa terhadap pengabdian sepanjang hidup.

But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this,

Tak heran jika ada yang mengucapkan hal seperti tadi

because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long

karena ungkapan seperti terlalu sering muncul

and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively

dan tanpa sadar kita menjadikannya kewajaran dalam kesadaran kita

this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked

bahwa kreatifitas dan kesengsaraan saling terkait erat

and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.

bahwa kesenian, pada akhirnya, selalu akan berakhir tragis.

And the question that I want to ask everybody here today

Dan pertanyaan saya sekarang

is are you guys all cool with that idea?

kok bisa kalian menerima ide tersebut begitu saja?

Are you comfortable with that?

Apa kalian nyaman dengannya --

Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know --

sebab jika kalian mencoba memperhatikan itu sedikit lebih jauh,--

I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.

Saya sama sekali tidak nyaman dengan asumsi itu.

I think it's odious.

Saya menganggapnya menjijikan.

And I also think it's dangerous,

Dan juga berbahaya,

and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.

dan saya menolak asumsi itu berkelanjutan

Saya lebih baik mendukung kreatiftas.

I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.

And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --

Dan saya sangat yakin, bahwa dalam situasi saya

it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path

akan sangat berbahaya bila saya menuju kegelapan semacam

of assumption,

asumsi itu, terutama mengingat situasi

particularly given the circumstance that I'm in right now in my career.

dan posisi karir saya saat ini.

Which is -- you know, like check it out,

Yang mana-- ya lihatlah sendiri

I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.

Saya cukup muda, berumur sekitar 40 tahun

Saya mungkin masih mempunyai 4 dekade lagi untuk berkarya

I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.

And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward

Makin besar pula kemungkinan bahwa apapun karya saya berikutnya

is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after

akan dinilai oleh dunia sebagai karya yang menyusul

the freakish success of my last book, right?

sukses luar biasa dari karya sebelumnya.

I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --

Kasarnya, kita semua di sini adalah sahabat bukan,

it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.

sangatlah mungkin bahwa kesuksesan saya hanyalah masa lalu.

So Jesus, what a thought!

Betapa seramnya pikiran itu!

That's the kind of thought that could lead a person

Ide semacam itulah yang dapat mendorong seseorang

to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning,

untuk mulai minum gin pukul sembilan pagi,

and I don't want to go there.

dan saya tak menginginkannya.

(Laughter)

(Tawa penonton)

I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.

Saya memilih untuk terus melanjutkan pekerjaan saya.

Jadi, pertanyaannya tinggal, bagaimana?

And so, the question becomes, how?

And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,

Dan sepertinya, setelah banyak merenung,

that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,

cara terbaik supaya saya bisa terus menulis,

is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?

adalah dengan menciptakan suatu pelindung psikologis.

I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance

Saya harus memiliki suatu jarak aman

between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety

antara saya, sebagai penulis, dan ketakutan saya yang wajar

about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.

saat menghadapi reaksi orang terhadap karya saya, sejak saat ini.

And, as I've been looking, over the last year,

Dan dalam pencarian saya menemukan model untuk bisa melakukan itu,

for models for how to do that,

I've been sort of looking across time,

saya telah menembus waktu,

and I've been trying to find other societies

dan berbagai masyarakat

to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have

untuk melihat kalau mereka memiliki ide yang lebih baik dan waras

about how to help creative people

tentang bagaimana membantu para kreatif menangani

sort of manage the inherent emotional risks of creativity.

resiko emosional dari kreatifitas.

And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.

Pencarian ini membawa saya ke budaya Yunani dan Romawi kuno.

So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.

Kisah ini akan kembali berputar ke awal.

But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --

Di zaman Yunani dan Romawi kuno

people did not happen to believe that creativity

orang tak menganggap kreatifitas

came from human beings back then, OK?

berasal dari manusia.

People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit

Orang percaya bahwa kreatifitas adalah roh pembantu

that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,

yang berasal dari sebuah sumber yang jauh dan misterius

for distant and unknowable reasons.

untuk alasan yang misterius pula

The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."

Orang Yunani menamai roh kreatifitas tersebut "daemon".

Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon

Socrates percaya bahwa dia memiliki daemon

who spoke wisdom to him from afar.

yang mengajarkan kebijakan dari jauh.

The Romans had the same idea,

Orang Romawi pun mempercayai ide yang sama,

but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.

tapi mereka menyebut makhluk itu Jenius.

Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think

Lucu bahwa orang Romawi tidak menganggap

that a genius was a particularly clever individual.

Jenius sebagai manusia yang sangat sangat pintar.

They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,

Mereka percaya Jenius adalah sesuatu yang magis dan sakral

who was believed to literally live in the walls of an artist's studio,

yang hidup dalam tembok

ruang kerja seniman, mirip seperti peri-rumah Dobby,

kind of like Dobby the house elf,

and who would come out

yang keluar dari persembunyiannya untuk membantu sang seniman

and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work

dan membentuk hasil akhir karya tersebut.

and would shape the outcome of that work.

So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about --

Sangat brilian -- itu dia jarak yang tadi saya maksudkan --

that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.

sebuah konstruksi psikologis untuk melindungi dari karya kita sendiri.

And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?

Dan karena semua orang mengetahuinya

So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,

Maka seniman kuno terlindungi dari sejumlah hal,

like, for example, too much narcissism, right?

seperti narsisme berlebihan, kan?

If your work was brilliant, you couldn't take all the credit for it,

Sebab karya brilian Anda bukanlah hasil Anda sendiri,

everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.

semua orang tahu bahwa Anda dibantu oleh roh Jenius

If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?

Dan karya gagal Anda bukan sepenuhnya salah Anda,

Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.

Semua tahu Jenius Anda lah yang dungu.

(Laughter)

Dan dulunya, seperti inilah kepercayaan di Barat tentang kreatifitas.

And this is how people thought about creativity in the West

for a really long time.

Lalu datanglah masa Renaisans dan semua berubah,

And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,

and we had this big idea, and the big idea was,

dan kita berpikir bahwa

let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe

manusia adalah pusat alam semesta

di atas semua dewa dan misteri, tak ada ruang

above all gods and mysteries,

and there's no more room for mystical creatures

untuk makhluk mistis pemberi arah.

who take dictation from the divine.

And it's the beginning of rational humanism,

Dan ini lah awal humanisme rasional,

and people started to believe that creativity

orang orang mulai percaya bahwa kreativitas

bersumber seutuhnya dari manusia.

came completely from the self of the individual.

And for the first time in history,

Untuk pertama kalinya dalam sejarah,

you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius,

Anda mulai mendengar seniman ini dan itu disebut sebagai jenius

rather than having a genius.

bukannya memiliki jenius.

And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.

Menurut saya, ini merupakan kesalahan besar.

You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person

Membiarkan seseorang, satu manusia biasa,

to believe that he or she is like, the vessel,

percaya bahwa dirinya adalah wadah

you know, like the font and the essence and the source

bentuk dan esensi dan sumber

dari seluruh wahyu, kreatifitas, misteri, rahasia abadi

of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery

is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.

menjadi tanggung jawab yang terlalu besar untuk hati manusia yang rapuh.

It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.

Seakan meminta seseorang menelan matahari.

It just completely warps and distorts egos,

Menyesatkan dan mengelabui ego,

and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.

Menciptakan harapan akan performa yang berlebihan.

And I think the pressure of that

Tekanan dari situlah

has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.

yang selama 500 tahun terakhir telah membunuh banyak seniman.

And, if this is true,

Jika ini benar,

and I think it is true,

dan saya kira memang benar,

the question becomes, what now?

maka pertanyaan berikutnya adalah, sekarang bagaimana?

Can we do this differently?

Bagaimana cara mengubahnya?

Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding

Mungkin dengan kembali kepada pemahaman kuno

about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.

tentang hubungan manusia dan misteri kreatifitas.

Maybe not.

Mungkin tidak.

Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought

Kita tidak bisa menghapus begitu saja pemikiran humanis rasional

in one 18 minute speech.

dalam ceramah 18 menit.

And there's probably people in this audience

Dan mungkin sebagian hadirin di sini

who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions

akan mengajukan bantahan ilmiah

about the notion of, basically, fairies

tentang gagasan para peri

who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.

yang mengikuti manusia untuk membisikkan inspirasi.

I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.

Saya tidak akan mencoba untuk membahas itu.

But the question that I kind of want to pose is --

Yang saya pertanyakan adalah,

you know, why not?

mengapa tidak?

Why not think about it this way?

Kenapa tidak berpikir seperti itu?

Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard

Karena sama masuk akalnya dengan hal lain yang pernah saya dengar

in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness

menjelaskan keunikan yang menjengkelkan

of the creative process.

dari proses kreatif.

A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --

Proses yang, bagi siapapun yang pernah mencoba mebuat sesuatu

bisa dibilang, semua yang ada di sini --

which is to say basically everyone here ---

knows does not always behave rationally.

tidak selalu rasional

And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.

Dan faktanya, kadang terasa paranormal.

I had this encounter recently

Baru-baru ini saya bertemu penyair Amerika luar biasa Ruth Stone,

where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,

who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life

kini berumur 90an, tapi telah menulis puisi sepanjang hidupnya

and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,

Ruth bercerita saat tumbuh di pedesaan Virginia,

she would be out working in the fields,

saat dia bekerja di ladang,

and she said she would feel and hear a poem

dan dia merasakan dan mendengar sebuah puisi

coming at her from over the landscape.

datang jauh dari ujung cakrawala.

And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.

Bagaikan rentetan air yang menggelegar.

And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.

Datang menghantam Ruth di ladang.

Ruth mereasakannya, karena getaran bumi tempat Ruth berpijak.

And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.

She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,

Hanya ada satu hal yang dapat dilakukannya saat itu,

and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."

yaitu, "berlari seperti dikejar setan."

And she would run like hell to the house

Dan Ruth berlari ke rumahnya,

and she would be getting chased by this poem,

dengan puisi itu mengejarnya,

untuk secepat mungkin mendapatkan kertas dan pensil

and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil

agar saat puisi itu menembus dirinya, Ruth bisa menangkapnya

fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it

dan mengurungnya dalam tulisan.

Terkadang Ruth tidak cukup cepat,

and grab it on the page.

And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,

Ruth terus berlari dan berlari dan berlari, dan sebelum sampai rumah

so she'd be running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house

puisi itu telah menembusnya dan Ruth pun melewatkannya

and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it

lalu puisi itu terus mengalir meninggalkan Ruth,

and she said it would continue on across the landscape,

mencari, seperti katanya, "seorang penyair lain"

looking, as she put it "for another poet."

Ada kalanya lagi,

And then there were these times --

this is the piece I never forgot --

ini bagian yang tak terlupakan,

she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?

Ruth bilang ada saat dimana dia hampir melewatkannya, kan?

So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper

Lalu saat Ruth berlari ke dalam rumah dan mencari kertas,

puisi itu menembus tubuhnya,

and the poem passes through her,

and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her,

di saat yang sama Ruth meraih sebuah pensil,

and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand

lalu Ruth berkata dia mengulurkan tangan yang satunya

mencoba menangkap puisi itu.

and she would catch it.

Ruth menangkap puisi itu di ekornya,

She would catch the poem by its tail,

dan menarik puisi itu kembali ke arahnya

and she would pull it backwards into her body

as she was transcribing on the page.

sambil berusaha menuliskannya di kertas.

And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact

Saat itu juga, puisi tersebut tertulis di kertas dengan utuh dan sempurna,

but backwards, from the last word to the first.

tetapi terbalik, dari kata terakhir ke depan.

(Laughter)

(Tawa penonton)

So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny,

Ketika saya mendengarnya -- Luar biasa,

that's exactly what my creative process is like.

seperti itulah proses kreatif saya.

(Laughter)

(Tawa penonton)

That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!

Tetapi proses kreativitas saya bukan begitu saja -- saya bukan saluran pipa!

I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work

Saya adalah bagal, dan cara saya bekerja

is I have to get up at the same time every day,

adalah bangun tidur di jam yang sama setiap hari,

lalu bekerja memeras otak dengan kikuk.

and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.

Tetapi bahkan dalam kebagalan saya,

But even I, in my mulishness,

even I have brushed up against that thing, at times.

saya juga pernah bertemu dengan kabut insipirasi yang menabrak Ruth Stone

And I would imagine that a lot of you have too.

Dan saya kira Anda pun juga pernah begitu.

You know, even I have had work or ideas come through me from a source

Saya bahkan pernah mendapatkan ide dari suatu sumber

that I honestly cannot identify.

yang tak bisa saya gambarkan.

And what is that thing?

Apa itu sebenarnya?

And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds,

Bagaimana cara mamahami hal tersebut tanpa kehilangan akal sehat,

but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?

tetapi malah menjaga kewarasan kita?

And for me, the best contemporary example that I have of how to do that

Bagi saya, contoh kontemporer terbaik untuk itu ada

is the musician Tom Waits,

pada musisi Tom Waits,

who I got to interview several years ago on a magazine assignment.

yang saya wawancarai beberapa tahun yang lalu.

And we were talking about this,

Saat itu kita membahas hal ini,

and you know, Tom, for most of his life, he was pretty much the embodiment

Tom, dalam sebagian besar hidupnya, dia menjadi perwujudan

of the tormented contemporary modern artist,

seniman modern kontemporer yang tersiksa,

yang berusaha mengontrol, mengatasi dan menguasai

trying to control and manage and dominate

these sort of uncontrollable creative impulses

kreatifitas impulsif yang tak terkontrol

that were totally internalized.

yang sepenuhnya terjadi dalam jiwanya.

But then he got older, he got calmer,

Lalu Tom menjadi semakin dewasa dan tenang

and one day he was driving down the freeway in Los Angeles,

dan suatu hari Tom menyetir di jalur cepat di Los Angeles,

and this is when it all changed for him.

dan di sini semuanya berubah baginya.

And he's speeding along, and all of a sudden

Sambil menyetir, tiba-tiba

he hears this little fragment of melody,

Tom mendengar sepotong melodi

that comes into his head as inspiration often comes, elusive and tantalizing,

masuk ke kepalanya seperti laiknya sebuah inspirasi, perlahan dan menggoda

and he wants it, it's gorgeous,

dan Tom menginginkannya, begitu indah

and he longs for it, but he has no way to get it.

Tom mengharapkannya, tapi tanpa daya untuk menangkapnya.

He doesn't have a piece of paper, or a pencil, or a tape recorder.

Saat itu Tom tak memiliki kertas ataupun pinsil,

tak ada alat rekaman di dekatnya.

So he starts to feel all of that old anxiety start to rise in him

Dan Tom mulai merasa gelisah

"Aduh, aku akan kehilangan melodi ini,

like, "I'm going to lose this thing,

and I'll be be haunted by this song forever.

lalu akan terus dihantui lagu ini selamanya.

I'm not good enough, and I can't do it."

Aku begitu payah dan tak mampu."

And instead of panicking, he just stopped.

Lalu bukannya panik, dia berhenti.

He just stopped that whole mental process and he did something completely novel.

Dia hentikan seluruh proses mental tadi

dan ia lakukan sesuatu yang sangat baru.

He just looked up at the sky, and he said,

Tom memandang ke langit, dan berkata,

"Excuse me, can you not see that I'm driving?"

"Maaf, tidakkah kamu lihat saya sedang menyetir?"

(Laughter)

(Tawa penonton)

"Do I look like I can write down a song right now?

"Memangnya saya bisa menulis lagu saat ini?

If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment

Jika kamu memang ingin berwujud, kembalilah di waktu yang tepat

when I can take care of you.

Saat saya bisa meladenimu.

Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.

Jika tidak, ganggulah orang lain.

Go bother Leonard Cohen."

Ganggulah Leonard Cohen."

And his whole work process changed after that.

Dan sejak itu, proses kerja Tom berubah.

Not the work, the work was still oftentimes as dark as ever.

Bukan karyanya, mereka tetap kelam seperti biasa.

But the process, and the heavy anxiety around it

Tetapi prosesnya, dan kegelisahan di sekitarnya

was released when he took the genie, the genius out of him

terbebaskan saat Tom merelakan jin, kejeniusannya

where it was causing nothing but trouble, and released it back where it came from,

yang hanya bisa merepotkan, dan mengembalikannya ke asalnya

menyadarkan Tom bahwa kreatifitas tidaklah harus menyiksa.

and realized that this didn't have to be this internalized, tormented thing.

Kreatifitas dapat berupa kolaborasi istimewa, indah dan unik

It could be this peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration,

kind of conversation between Tom and the strange, external thing

sebuah percakapan antara Tom dan sesuatu yang aneh

that was not quite Tom.

yang bukan sepenuhnya Tom.

When I heard that story, it started to shift a little bit

Saat mendengar cerita itu, mulailah bergeser sedikit

the way that I worked too, and this idea already saved me once.

cara kerja saya, dan itu telah menyelamatkan saya sekali.

It saved me when I was in the middle of writing "Eat, Pray, Love,"

Ide ini menyelamatkan saya saat tengah menulis "Eat, Pray, Love,"

and I fell into one of those sort of pits of despair

dan saya merasa jatuh dalam jurang keputusasaan

that we all fall into when we're working on something and it's not coming

yang sering kita temui saat menghadapi karya yang tak kunjung selesai

and you start to think this is going to be a disaster, the worst book ever written.

dan mulai berpikir akan kegagalan,

inilah karya terburuk sepanjang masa.

Not just bad, but the worst book ever written.

Bukan hanya jelek, tapi buku terjelek yang pernah ditulis.

Saya bahkan berpikir untuk menghentikan proyek ini.

And I started to think I should just dump this project.

But then I remembered Tom talking to the open air

Tapi saya teringat Tom yang berbicara ke udara lepas

and I tried it.

dan mencobanya.

So I just lifted my face up from the manuscript

Jadi saya mengangkat wajah dari skrip

and I directed my comments to an empty corner of the room.

dan memberikan komentar ke sudut kosong di kamar.

And I said aloud, "Listen you, thing,

Saya bilang keras-keras, "Dengar ya kamu,

you and I both know that if this book isn't brilliant

kita berdua tahu bahwa buku ini tidak hebat

that is not entirely my fault, right?

dan itu bukan salah saya semata.

Because you can see that I am putting everything I have into this,

Karena kamu lihat saya sudah berusaha sekuat tenaga,

I don't have any more than this.

saya tak punya lebih dari ini.

If you want it to be better, you've got to show up and do your part of the deal.

Jadi jika kamu menginginkan hasil yang lebih baik, muncul dan lakukan bagianmu.

OK. Tetapi kalau kamu tidak mau, terserah.

But if you don't do that, you know what, the hell with it.

Saya akan tetap menulis karena itu pekerjaan saya.

I'm going to keep writing anyway because that's my job.

And I would please like the record to reflect today

Dan saya ingin kamu mengingat

bahwa saya telah mengerjakan bagian saya."

that I showed up for my part of the job."

(Tawa penonton)

(Laughter)

Because --

Karena --

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan penonton)

Because in the end it's like this, OK --

Intinya begini, OK --

centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa,

beberapa abad yang lalu di padang pasir Afrika Utara

people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music

orang biasa berkumpul untuk tarian rembulan dan musik yang sakral

that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn.

yang terus berlangsung hingga fajar.

They were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals

Penampilan mereka selalu luar biasa, karena penari tersebut profesional

and they were terrific, right?

dan begitu hebat.

Tapi sesekali, sangat jarang, sesuatu yang lain terjadi,

But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen,

and one of these performers would actually become transcendent.

dan salah satu penari itu akan mengalami transendensi

And I know you know what I'm talking about,

Saya tahu Anda mengerti apa saya maksud,

because I know you've all seen, at some point in your life,

Karena kita semua pernah melihatnya, tarian yang transendental.

a performance like this.

It was like time would stop,

Waktu pun seakan berhenti

and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal

dan penari itu seakan menembus suatu portal

dia tidak melakukan sesuatu yang berbeda dengan 1,000 malam sebelumnya,

and he wasn't doing anything different

than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before,

but everything would align.

hanya saja segalanya jadi selaras.

And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human.

Mendadak penari tersebut tidak lagi tampak sekedar manusia.

Dia bercahaya dari dalam, dan dari bawah,

He would be lit from within, and lit from below

and all lit up on fire with divinity.

dia bercahaya dengan api ilahiah.

And when this happened, back then,

Dulu, waktu hal seperti ini terjadi,

people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name.

orang tau apa yang terjadi, mereka pun memanggil dengan nama.

They would put their hands together and they would start to chant,

Mereka mengumpulkan tangan bersama dan mulai bernyanyi,

"Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God."

"Allah, Allah, Allah, Tuhan, Tuhan, Tuhan."

That's God, you know.

Itu adalah Tuhan.

Curious historical footnote:

Catatan kaki sejarah yang menarik --

when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them

sewaktu bangsa Moors menjajah Spanyol selatan, mereka membawa tradisi ini

and the pronunciation changed over the centuries

dan pengucapannya bergeser beberapa abad kemudian

from "Allah, Allah, Allah," to "Olé, olé, olé,"

dari "Allah, Allah, Allah," menjadi "Ole, ole, ole,"

which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances.

yang masih kita dengar dari matador dan penari flamengo

In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic,

Di Spanyol, saat pemain melakukan hal yang mustahil dan magis,

"Allah, olé, olé, Allah, magnificent, bravo,"

"Allah, ole, ole, Allah, luar biasa, bravo."

incomprehensible, there it is -- a glimpse of God.

tak masuk akal, itu dia -- kilasan Tuhan.

Which is great, because we need that.

Hebat tentu saja, karena kita membutuhkanNya.

But, the tricky bit comes the next morning,

Masalahnya, pada pagi hari berikutnya,

for the dancer himself, when he wakes up and discovers

saat penari itu bangun tidur,

that it's Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he's no longer a glimpse of God.

Menyadari hari itu adalah Selasa, pukul 11 siang dan dia bukan lagi keajaiban

He's just an aging mortal with really bad knees,

Penari itu hanya manusia tua dengan lutut yang rewel,

and maybe he's never going to ascend to that height again.

dan mungkin tidak akan pernah transendensi lagi.

And maybe nobody will ever chant God's name again as he spins,

Mungkin tidak akan ada lagi yang memanggil Tuhan saat dirinya menari

and what is he then to do with the rest of his life?

lalu apa tersisa baginya?

This is hard.

Ini berat.

This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make

Ini adalah salah satu penyelesaian terberat yang harus dijalani

in a creative life.

sebagai seniman.

But maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish

Mungkin penyelesaian itu tidak harus dipenuhi kekalahan

if you never happened to believe, in the first place,

jika pada dasarnya kita tidak beranggapan bahwa

that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you.

sisi luar biasa karya kita tidak bersumber dari diri pribadi.

But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you

Tapi jika Anda percaya bahwa itu adalah pinjaman

from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life

dari suatu sumber misterius .

to be passed along when you're finished,

yang akan dialihkan saat selesai, kepada orang lain.

with somebody else.

And, you know, if we think about it this way, it starts to change everything.

Pemikiran seperti itu dapat mengubah segalanya.

This is how I've started to think,

Seperti ini lah saya mulai berpikir,

and this is certainly how I've been thinking in the last few months

seperti inilah cara pikir saya beberapa bulan terakhir

as I've been working on the book that will soon be published,

sambil terus mengerjakan buku saya yang akan terbit

as the dangerously, frighteningly over-anticipated follow up

sebuah kelanjutan berbahaya, mengerikan dan terlalu diharapkan

to my freakish success.

dari kesuksesan saya.

And what I have to sort of keep telling myself

Dan saya harus terus mengingatkan diri

when I get really psyched out about that is don't be afraid.

saat mulai merasa lepas kendali,

untuk tidak takut.

Don't be daunted. Just do your job.

Jangan kecil hati.

Lakukan saja kerjamu.

Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.

Teruslah hadir untuk melakukan bagian kita, apapun itu.

If your job is to dance, do your dance.

Jika tugasmu menari, maka menarilah.

If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case

Jika Jenius belagu yang ditugaskan untuk menjagamu

decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment

memutuskan untuk mengungkapkan sekilas keajaiban, untuk sesaat

through your efforts, then "Olé!"

lewat usahamu, maka "Ole!"

Jika tidak, tetaplah menari.

And if not, do your dance anyhow.

And "Olé!" to you, nonetheless.

Walaupun demikian, "Ole!" bagimu.

I believe this and I feel that we must teach it.

Saya memercayai ini dan kita harus mengajarkannya.

Walaupun demikian, "Ole!" bagimu,

"Olé!" to you, nonetheless,

just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness

bagi kekeraskepalaan dan cinta manusiawi

to keep showing up.

untuk tetap berusaha.

Thank you.

Terima kasih.

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan penonton)

Thank you.

Terima kasih.

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan penonton)

June Cohen: Olé!

June Cohen: Ole!

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan penonton)