Your elusive creative genius | Elizabeth Gilbert

Prevoditelj: Irena Krčelić Recezent: Nenad Maljković

I am a writer.

Spisateljica sam.

Writing books is my profession but it's more than that, of course.

Pisanje knjiga moj je poziv i puno više od toga, naravno.

It is also my great lifelong love and fascination.

Ujedno je velika, doživotna ljubav i strast.

And I don't expect that that's ever going to change.

Ne vjerujem da će se to ikada promijeniti.

But, that said, something kind of peculiar has happened recently

No nedavno se dogodilo nešto neobično

in my life and in my career,

u mom životu i karijeri,

which has caused me to have to recalibrate my whole relationship with this work.

zbog čega sam iznova morala procijeniti odnos prema svom radu.

And the peculiar thing is that I recently wrote this book,

Ne tako davno napisala sam knjigu,

this memoir called "Eat, Pray, Love"

memoare pod naslovom "Jedi, moli, voli".

which, decidedly unlike any of my previous books,

Za razliku od svih mojih prijašnjih knjiga

went out in the world for some reason, and became this big,

ova je iz nekog razloga po izlasku postala veliki hit,

mega-sensation, international bestseller thing.

mega senzacija i međunarodni bestseler.

The result of which is that everywhere I go now,

Kamo god sada pođem gledaju me

people treat me like I'm doomed.

kao da sam osuđena na propast.

Seriously -- doomed, doomed!

Ozbiljno! Kao da mi se sprema slom.

Like, they come up to me now, all worried, and they say,

Ljudi mi prilaze vrlo zabrinuti i kažu:

"Zar te nije strah da nećeš to moći nadmašiti?

"Aren't you afraid you're never going to be able to top that?

Aren't you afraid you're going to keep writing for your whole life

Ne bojiš li se da ćeš pisati do kraja života

and you're never again going to create a book

a da nikada više nećeš napisati knjigu

that anybody in the world cares about at all,

do koje će ljudima biti stalo...

ever again?"

ikada... više?"

So that's reassuring, you know.

To je zbilja ohrabrujuće.

But it would be worse, except for that I happen to remember

Ali moglo bi biti i gore, jer sjećam se da kada sam

that over 20 years ago, when I was a teenager,

prije 20 godina kao tinejdžerica prvi puta pričala

when I first started telling people that I wanted to be a writer,

da želim biti spisateljica,

susretala sam se s istom reakcijom, zasnovanom na strahu.

I was met with this same sort of fear-based reaction.

Znali bi mi reći: "Zar te nije strah da nećeš uspjeti?

And people would say, "Aren't you afraid you're never going to have any success?

Aren't you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you?

Ne bojiš li se da će te poniženje i odbijanje ubiti?

Aren't you afraid that you're going to work your whole life at this craft

Ne plašiš li se da ćeš uložiti cijeli svoj život u to umijeće

i da od njega neće biti ništa

and nothing's ever going to come of it

pa ćeš umrijeti srca slomljena neostvarenim snovima

and you're going to die on a scrap heap of broken dreams

i usta punih gorkog pepela neuspjeha?"

with your mouth filled with bitter ash of failure?"

(Smijeh)

(Laughter)

Like that, you know.

Tako nešto.

The answer -- the short answer to all those questions is, "Yes."

Kratak odgovor na sva ta pitanja je "Da".

Yes, I'm afraid of all those things.

Da, sve me to plaši.

And I always have been.

I oduvijek me plašilo.

And I'm afraid of many, many more things besides

Bojim se i mnogih drugih stvari

that people can't even guess at,

koje ne možete ni naslutiti,

like seaweed and other things that are scary.

poput morskih trava i drugih grozota.

But, when it comes to writing,

Što se tiče pisanja

the thing that I've been sort of thinking about lately, and wondering about lately,

u zadnje vrijeme razmišljam i pitam se - pa zašto?

is why?

Ima li to ikakvog smisla?

You know, is it rational?

Je li logično da bi se od bilo koga trebalo očekivati

Is it logical that anybody should be expected

to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do.

da se boji rada za koji osjeća da je stvoren?

And what is it specifically about creative ventures

Što nas to u kreativnim poduhvatima tjera

that seems to make us really nervous about each other's mental health

da nervozno propitkujemo svoje i tuđe mentalno zdravlje

in a way that other careers kind of don't do, you know?

dok ljudi drugih profesija to ne čine?

Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer

Na primjer, moja tata je inženjer kemije.

and I don't recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering

Ne sjećam se da ga je itko u njegovih 40 godina karijere

anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer, you know?

upitao boji li se biti inženjerom kemije.

"That chemical-engineering block, John, how's it going?"

Ta strašna kemičarska blokada... pa, John, kako ti ide?

It just didn't come up like that, you know?

Toga jednostavno nema.

But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group

Ali, ako ćemo pravo, inženjeri kemije

haven't really earned a reputation over the centuries

nisu tijekom stoljeća zaradili reputaciju

for being alcoholic manic-depressives.

maničnih depresivaca i alkoholičara.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

We writers, we kind of do have that reputation,

Nas pisce bije taj glas.

and not just writers, but creative people across all genres,

Ne samo pisce, već kreativce općenito.

it seems, have this reputation for being enormously mentally unstable.

Čini se da nas gledaju kao mentalno izrazito nestabilne.

And all you have to do is look at the very grim death count

Pogledajte samo tu tužnu statistiku

in the 20th century alone, of really magnificent creative minds

dvadesetog stoljeća. Koliko je izvanrednih kreativnih umova

who died young and often at their own hands, you know?

umrlo prerano, često i od svoje ruke.

And even the ones who didn't literally commit suicide

Čak i one koji nisu doslovno počinili samoubojstvo

seem to be really undone by their gifts, you know.

kao da je dotukao vlastiti dar.

Norman Mailer, just before he died, last interview, he said,

Norman Mailer, u svom posljednjem intervjuu, tik prije smrti, rekao je:

"Every one of my books has killed me a little more."

"Svaka moja nova knjiga pomalo me ubila."

An extraordinary statement to make about your life's work.

Kakva nevjerojatna izjava! Tako se izraziti o svom životnom djelu...

But we don't even blink when we hear somebody say this,

No, čak ni ne trepnemo kad čujemo takvu izjavu

because we've heard that kind of stuff for so long

jer smo toliko često čuli,

and somehow we've completely internalized and accepted collectively

u potpunosti usvojili i kolektivno prihvatili ideju

this notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked

da su kreativnost i patnja nerazdvojno povezani

and that artistry, in the end, will always ultimately lead to anguish.

i da će nas umjetnički put nedvojbeno dovesti do stradanja i propasti.

And the question that I want to ask everybody here today

Pitanje koje danas svima vama želim postaviti

is are you guys all cool with that idea?

jest... je li vama to stvarno prihvatljiva ideja?

Are you comfortable with that?

Je li vam to skroz u redu?

Because you look at it even from an inch away and, you know --

Jer kad se makar malo odmaknete od nje...

I'm not at all comfortable with that assumption.

Ja uopće nisam zadovoljna tom pretpostavkom.

I think it's odious.

Ja mislim da je grozna!

And I also think it's dangerous,

I još k tome opasna.

and I don't want to see it perpetuated into the next century.

Ne želim da se ponavlja i u narednom stoljeću.

Mislim da je bolje izvanredne, kreativne umove ohrabrivati da žive.

I think it's better if we encourage our great creative minds to live.

And I definitely know that, in my case -- in my situation --

Sa sigurnošću mogu reći, u mojoj bi situaciji

it would be very dangerous for me to start sort of leaking down that dark path

bilo vrlo opasno da krenem padati niz mračnu stazu

of assumption,

te pretpostavke, osobito u ovom razdoblju

particularly given the circumstance that I'm in right now in my career.

moje karijere.

Which is -- you know, like check it out,

Pogledajte me...

I'm pretty young, I'm only about 40 years old.

još sam prilično mlada, tek mi je četrdesetak.

Predamnom je možda još 4 desetljeća rada.

I still have maybe another four decades of work left in me.

And it's exceedingly likely that anything I write from this point forward

I vrlo je vjerojatno da će što god da napišem, od ovog trenutka na dalje,

is going to be judged by the world as the work that came after

biti ocijenjeno kao djelo nastalo nakon

the freakish success of my last book, right?

zastrašujućeg uspjeha moje prošle knjige.

I should just put it bluntly, because we're all sort of friends here now --

Reći ću to izravno, jer smo svi ovdje više-manje prijatelji,

it's exceedingly likely that my greatest success is behind me.

prilično je vjerojatno da je moj najveći uspjeh iza mene.

So Jesus, what a thought!

Zaboga, kakva pomisao!

That's the kind of thought that could lead a person

To je baš ona vrsta misli koja vas može dovesti do toga

to start drinking gin at nine o'clock in the morning,

da počnete piti džin u devet sati ujutro.

and I don't want to go there.

A ja ne bih tim putem.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

I would prefer to keep doing this work that I love.

Radije bih nastavila s poslom koji volim.

Što dovodi do pitanja - kako?

And so, the question becomes, how?

And so, it seems to me, upon a lot of reflection,

Nakon mnogo razmišljanja, čini mi se da

that the way that I have to work now, in order to continue writing,

kako bih nastavila pisati

is that I have to create some sort of protective psychological construct, right?

moram osmisliti neku vrstu psihološke zaštite.

I have to sort of find some way to have a safe distance

Pronaći neku vrstu distance koja će me štititi

between me, as I am writing, and my very natural anxiety

i koju ću, dok pišem, postaviti između mene i moje prirodne tjeskobe

about what the reaction to that writing is going to be, from now on.

koja brine o reakciji na moj budući rad.

And, as I've been looking, over the last year,

Prošle sam godine tražila uzore prema kojima bih to učinila.

for models for how to do that,

I've been sort of looking across time,

Kao da sam pretraživala povijest

and I've been trying to find other societies

i pokušavala pronaći drukčija društva

to see if they might have had better and saner ideas than we have

koja su možda imala bolje i zdravije zamisli od onih koje mi imamo

about how to help creative people

o tome kako pomoći kreativcima da se nose

sort of manage the inherent emotional risks of creativity.

s neizbježnim emotivnim rizicima kreativnosti.

And that search has led me to ancient Greece and ancient Rome.

Potraga me dovela u antičko doba: u Grčku i Rim.

So stay with me, because it does circle around and back.

Pratite me, jer priča ide u širinu i napravit će puni krug.

But, ancient Greece and ancient Rome --

Dakle... u antičko doba

people did not happen to believe that creativity

ljudi nisu vjerovali da kreativnost

came from human beings back then, OK?

dolazi od ljudskih bića.

People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit

Vjerovali su da je kreativnost božanski, zaštitnički duh

that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source,

koji je ljudskom biću prišao iz dalekog i nespoznatljivog izvorišta,

for distant and unknowable reasons.

zbog dalekih i nespoznatljivih razloga.

The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity "daemons."

Stari Grci ta su božanska bića, zaštitnike kreativnosti nazivali "demonima".

Socrates, famously, believed that he had a daemon

Sokrat je bio poznat po tome što je vjerovao da ima demona

who spoke wisdom to him from afar.

koji mu je šaptao mudrost u uho iz daljina.

The Romans had the same idea,

Stari Rimljani dijelili su istu ideju,

but they called that sort of disembodied creative spirit a genius.

no oni su te bestjelesne duhove kreativnosti nazivali "genijima".

Which is great, because the Romans did not actually think

To je odličan primjer, jer Rimljani zapravo nisu vjerovali

that a genius was a particularly clever individual.

da je genij neka osobito pametna osoba.

They believed that a genius was this, sort of magical divine entity,

Vjerovali su da je genij neko magično božansko biće

who was believed to literally live in the walls of an artist's studio,

koje doslovno živi u zidovima

umjetnikovog studija, poput kućnog vilenjaka,

kind of like Dobby the house elf,

and who would come out

koje izlazi van, nevidljivo pomaže umjetniku pri poslu

and sort of invisibly assist the artist with their work

i tako oblikuje krajnji ishod djela.

and would shape the outcome of that work.

So brilliant -- there it is, right there, that distance that I'm talking about --

I eto, odlično! To je upravo ta distanca o kojoj govorim,

that psychological construct to protect you from the results of your work.

ta psihološka barijera koja nas štiti od rezultata našeg rada.

And everyone knew that this is how it functioned, right?

I svi su znali da to tako funkcionira.

So the ancient artist was protected from certain things,

Pa je antički umjetnik bio zaštićen od,

like, for example, too much narcissism, right?

primjerice, previše narcizma.

If your work was brilliant, you couldn't take all the credit for it,

Ako bi tvoje djelo bilo izvrsno, ne bi mogao sve zasluge pripisati sebi.

everybody knew that you had this disembodied genius who had helped you.

Svi su znali da imaš bestjelesnog genija koji ti je pomagao.

If your work bombed, not entirely your fault, you know?

A ako ti je djelo bilo bez veze to nije bila samo tvoja greška.

Everyone knew your genius was kind of lame.

Svi su znali da je tvoj genij ispao bezveznjak.

(Laughter)

Dugo su vremena i ljudi Zapada o kreativnosti promišljali na taj način.

And this is how people thought about creativity in the West

for a really long time.

Onda je stigla renesansa i sve se promijenilo.

And then the Renaissance came and everything changed,

and we had this big idea, and the big idea was,

Dobili smo veliku ideju. A ona glasi:

let's put the individual human being at the center of the universe

"Haj'mo staviti ljudsku osobu u središte svemira,

ponad svih bogova i misterija". Pa više nije bilo mjesta

above all gods and mysteries,

and there's no more room for mystical creatures

za mistična bića koja prenose božanski diktat.

who take dictation from the divine.

And it's the beginning of rational humanism,

Bio je to početak racionalizma

and people started to believe that creativity

i ljudi su počeli vjerovati da kreativnost

u potpunosti proizlazi iz osobnosti ljudskog bića.

came completely from the self of the individual.

And for the first time in history,

Po prvi puta u pisanoj povijesti

you start to hear people referring to this or that artist as being a genius,

mogli ste čuti da o se nekom umjetniku govori kao da jest genij,

rather than having a genius.

umjesto da neki umjetnik ima genija uza sebe.

And I got to tell you, I think that was a huge error.

Iskreno, mislim da je to bila velika greška.

You know, I think that allowing somebody, one mere person

Dopustiti nekome, jednoj običnoj osobi

to believe that he or she is like, the vessel,

da vjeruje da je posuda,

you know, like the font and the essence and the source

i izvorište, i srž, i izvor sveprisutne

božanske, stvaralačke, nespoznatljive, vječne misterije...

of all divine, creative, unknowable, eternal mystery

is just a smidge too much responsibility to put on one fragile, human psyche.

To kao da je mrvicu prevelika odgovornost za krhku ljudsku psihu.

It's like asking somebody to swallow the sun.

Otprilike kao da nekoga tražite da proguta sunce.

It just completely warps and distorts egos,

To sasvim iskrivljuje i izobličuje ego

and it creates all these unmanageable expectations about performance.

i stvara sva ta nebulozna očekivanja rezultata.

And I think the pressure of that

Smatram da je taj strašan pritisak

has been killing off our artists for the last 500 years.

ubijao naše umjetnike posljednih 500 godina.

And, if this is true,

Ako je to točno,

and I think it is true,

a ja mislim da jest,

the question becomes, what now?

postavlja se pitanje - što sad?

Can we do this differently?

Možemo li što promijeniti?

Maybe go back to some more ancient understanding

Možda bismo se mogli vratiti drevnom shvaćanju

about the relationship between humans and the creative mystery.

odnosa između ljudskih bića i stvaralačke misterije.

Maybe not.

A možda i ne.

Maybe we can't just erase 500 years of rational humanistic thought

Možda ne možemo obrisati 500 godina racionalističke filozofije

in one 18 minute speech.

u jednom 18-minutnom govoru.

And there's probably people in this audience

U publici se zasigurno nalaze ljudi

who would raise really legitimate scientific suspicions

koji će, znanstveno sasvim legitimno,

about the notion of, basically, fairies

podići obrvu na spomen vila i vilenjaka

who follow people around rubbing fairy juice on their projects and stuff.

koji naokolo slijede ljude posipajući im čarobni prah po projektima.

I'm not, probably, going to bring you all along with me on this.

Najvjerojatnije neću uspjeti baš sve vas zainteresirati za tu ideju.

But the question that I kind of want to pose is --

No, pitanje koje bih rado postavila je...

you know, why not?

Zašto da ne?

Why not think about it this way?

Zašto ne bismo o tome razmišljali na taj način?

Because it makes as much sense as anything else I have ever heard

Jer ima jednako smisla kao i sva ostala objašnjenja koja sam čula

in terms of explaining the utter maddening capriciousness

za krajnje izluđujuću hirovitost

of the creative process.

kreativnog procesa.

A process which, as anybody who has ever tried to make something --

Procesa koji se, kao što znaju svi koji su probali nešto stvoriti

- a rekla bih da su to svi ovdje prisutni -

which is to say basically everyone here ---

knows does not always behave rationally.

ne ponaša uvijek predvidljivo i racionalno.

And, in fact, can sometimes feel downright paranormal.

Ponekad je to skoro pa paranormalno iskustvo.

I had this encounter recently

Nedavno sam imala priliku sresti izvanrednu američku pjesnikinju Ruth Stone.

where I met the extraordinary American poet Ruth Stone,

who's now in her 90s, but she's been a poet her entire life

Ušla je u devedesete i cijeloga je života pjesnikinja.

and she told me that when she was growing up in rural Virginia,

Ispričala mi je kako je odrastajući u ruralnom dijelu Virginije

she would be out working in the fields,

često radila u polju.

and she said she would feel and hear a poem

Osjetila bi i čula pjesmu

coming at her from over the landscape.

kako joj dolazi u susret s druge strane horizonta.

And she said it was like a thunderous train of air.

Kaže da je to bilo poput gromkog zračnog vala

And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape.

koji bi se stuštio preko polja prema njoj.

Po podrhtavanju tla znala je da pjesma stiže.

And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet.

She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point,

Znala je da u takvim trenucima jedino što može jest,

and that was to, in her words, "run like hell."

prema njenim riječima, "pojuriti kao da ju vrag goni".

And she would run like hell to the house

I tako bi mahnito trčala prema kući

and she would be getting chased by this poem,

dok ju je pjesma gonila

jer valjalo je zgrabiti papir i olovku dovoljno brzo

and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil

da stigne uhvatiti pjesmu dok tutnji kroz nju,

fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it

da bi je prenijela na papir.

Znalo se događati da ne uspije trčati dovoljno brzo

and grab it on the page.

And other times she wouldn't be fast enough,

iako je davala sve od sebe jureći niz polja. Kad ne bi stigla na vrijeme do kuće,

so she'd be running and running, and she wouldn't get to the house

pjesma bi samo projurila kroz nju, neuhvaćena.

and the poem would barrel through her and she would miss it

Tada bi se nastavila kotrljati niz polja

and she said it would continue on across the landscape,

tražeći, kako Ruth kaže, "nekog drugog pjesnika".

looking, as she put it "for another poet."

A ponekad bi

And then there were these times --

this is the piece I never forgot --

- ovaj dio priče neću nikada zaboraviti -

she said that there were moments where she would almost miss it, right?

ponekad bi se dogodilo da ju skoro ne uhvati.

So, she's running to the house and she's looking for the paper

Dok bi trčala kući, tražeći komad papira

a pjesma bi kroz nju tutnjala,

and the poem passes through her,

and she grabs a pencil just as it's going through her,

ugrabila bi olovku baš u trenutku kad bi pjesma kroz nju prošla

and then she said, it was like she would reach out with her other hand

i ona bi pružila drugu ruku i posegnula za njom

da ju uhvati.

and she would catch it.

Tako bi uhvatila pjesmu za rep

She would catch the poem by its tail,

i povukla je natraške u svoje tijelo

and she would pull it backwards into her body

as she was transcribing on the page.

dok bi ju zapisivala na stranicu.

And in these instances, the poem would come up on the page perfect and intact

U tim slučajevima, pjesma bi se pojavila na papiru, savršena i neoštećena

but backwards, from the last word to the first.

no zapisana natraške, od posljednje riječi prema prvoj.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So when I heard that I was like -- that's uncanny,

Kad sam to čula... ma nevjerojatno!

that's exactly what my creative process is like.

Baš tako izgleda i moj kreativni proces.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

That's not at all what my creative process is -- I'm not the pipeline!

Ma ne. Moje stvaralaštvo nije takvo - ja nisam cjevovod!

I'm a mule, and the way that I have to work

Ja sam mazga. Moj način rada zahtijeva

is I have to get up at the same time every day,

da ustajem u isto vrijeme svako jutro

znojim se i napinjem i probijam se na kojekakve nezgodne načine.

and sweat and labor and barrel through it really awkwardly.

No, pa čak i ja, u svojoj mazgovitosti,

But even I, in my mulishness,

even I have brushed up against that thing, at times.

čak sam i ja to dotakla, ponekad.

And I would imagine that a lot of you have too.

Vjerujem da ste i vi to iskusili.

You know, even I have had work or ideas come through me from a source

Čak su i meni djela i ideje stizale s izvora

that I honestly cannot identify.

kojeg, iskreno, ne mogu razabrati.

And what is that thing?

Što je to?

And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds,

I kako se prema tome možemo odnositi tako da ne izgubimo razum,

but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?

već, dapače, da nam pomogne kako bismo ostali bistre glave?

And for me, the best contemporary example that I have of how to do that

Najbolji suvremeni primjer na kojeg sam naišla

is the musician Tom Waits,

je glazbenik Tom Waits.

who I got to interview several years ago on a magazine assignment.

Intervjuirala sam ga prije nekoliko godina za jedan časopis.

And we were talking about this,

I tako smo razgovarali o tome, a znate da je

and you know, Tom, for most of his life, he was pretty much the embodiment

Tom cijeloga života bio pravo utjelovljenje

of the tormented contemporary modern artist,

izmučenog suvremenog umjetnika

koji pokušava upravljati, kontrolirati i dominirati

trying to control and manage and dominate

these sort of uncontrollable creative impulses

tim neukrotivim kreativnim impulsima

that were totally internalized.

koji su mu potpuno iznutra.

But then he got older, he got calmer,

S vremenom, s godinama, postajao je sve smireniji

and one day he was driving down the freeway in Los Angeles,

i jednog dana vozio je auto cestom kroz Los Angeles, kaže,

and this is when it all changed for him.

i tada se sve promijenilo.

And he's speeding along, and all of a sudden

Dok je stiskao gas, iznenada

he hears this little fragment of melody,

začuje djelić melodije koja mu se pojavila u umu,

that comes into his head as inspiration often comes, elusive and tantalizing,

kako to inspiracija često dođe, nedostižna i nadražujuća

and he wants it, it's gorgeous,

i on ju želi, predivna je,

and he longs for it, but he has no way to get it.

čezne za njom, ali nema je kako uhvatiti.

He doesn't have a piece of paper, or a pencil, or a tape recorder.

Nema komad papira, nema olovku,

nema diktafon.

So he starts to feel all of that old anxiety start to rise in him

Osjeti kako ga preplavljuje dobro mu poznata tjeskoba

nešto u stilu: "Dođavola, izgubit ću ju

like, "I'm going to lose this thing,

and I'll be be haunted by this song forever.

i onda će me ta pjesma zauvijek progoniti.

I'm not good enough, and I can't do it."

I sve drugo što napišem, neće biti dovoljno dobro."

And instead of panicking, he just stopped.

Umjesto da se prepusti navali panike, zaustavio se.

He just stopped that whole mental process and he did something completely novel.

Prekinuo je cijeli taj mentalni slijed u svojoj glavi

i napravio nešto sasvim drugačije. Nešto novo.

He just looked up at the sky, and he said,

Pogledao je prema nebu i rekao:

"Excuse me, can you not see that I'm driving?"

"Oprosti, zar ne vidiš da vozim?"

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

"Do I look like I can write down a song right now?

"Da li ti izgledam kao da sad mogu zapisati melodiju?

If you really want to exist, come back at a more opportune moment

Ako doista želiš postojati, vrati se u nekom prikladnijem trenutku

when I can take care of you.

kad se mogu pobrinuti za tebe.

Otherwise, go bother somebody else today.

Ako baš moraš danas, odi gnjaviti nekog drugog.

Go bother Leonard Cohen."

Idi gnjavi... Leonarda Cohena."

And his whole work process changed after that.

Nakon tog događaja njegov se kreativni proces promijenio.

Not the work, the work was still oftentimes as dark as ever.

Ne njegov rad, djela su mu često mračna kao i inače,

But the process, and the heavy anxiety around it

već kreativni proces. Grozna tjeskoba koja ga je pratila

was released when he took the genie, the genius out of him

nestala je kada je duh genija izvadio iz samog sebe,

where it was causing nothing but trouble, and released it back where it came from,

gdje je samo stvarao probleme, i vratio ga tamo odakle je stigao

shvativši da stvaralaštvo ne mora biti unutarnji, mučenički proces.

and realized that this didn't have to be this internalized, tormented thing.

Zašto ne bi radije bilo čudnovata, čudesna, neuobičajena suradnja?

It could be this peculiar, wondrous, bizarre collaboration,

kind of conversation between Tom and the strange, external thing

Neka vrsta razgovora između Toma i nepoznate, izvanjske sile

that was not quite Tom.

koja nije u potpunosti Tom.

When I heard that story, it started to shift a little bit

Kad sam čula tu priču, i sama sam napravila pomak

the way that I worked too, and this idea already saved me once.

u načinu na koji sam stvarala i to me već jednom spasilo.

It saved me when I was in the middle of writing "Eat, Pray, Love,"

Ta zamisao me spasila usred pisanja "Jedi, moli, voli".

and I fell into one of those sort of pits of despair

Pala sam u jednu od onih provalija očajanja

that we all fall into when we're working on something and it's not coming

u koji svi upadamo kad radimo na nečemu, a nikako da nam krene

and you start to think this is going to be a disaster, the worst book ever written.

pa počnemo misliti: "To će biti prava katastrofa."

Najgora knjiga ikad napisana.

Not just bad, but the worst book ever written.

Ne samo loša, već najgora knjiga svih vremena!

Kad sam počela razmišljati trebam li odustati,

And I started to think I should just dump this project.

But then I remembered Tom talking to the open air

sjetila sam se Toma kako priča zraku

and I tried it.

i odlučila pokušati isto.

So I just lifted my face up from the manuscript

Podigla sam pogled s rukopisa

and I directed my comments to an empty corner of the room.

i izravno se obratila praznom kutu sobe.

And I said aloud, "Listen you, thing,

Rekla sam na glas: "Slušaj ti... nešto,

you and I both know that if this book isn't brilliant

ti i ja vrlo dobro znamo da ukoliko knjiga ne ispadne sjajno

that is not entirely my fault, right?

to neće biti sasvim moja greška.

Because you can see that I am putting everything I have into this,

I sam možeš vidjeti da dajem sve od sebe.

I don't have any more than this.

Više od toga nemam.

If you want it to be better, you've got to show up and do your part of the deal.

Pa ako želiš da knjiga bude bolja, izvoli se pojaviti i napraviti svoj dio posla.

U redu? Ali ako nećeš, nema veze.

But if you don't do that, you know what, the hell with it.

Ja ću nastaviti pisati jer to je moj posao.

I'm going to keep writing anyway because that's my job.

And I would please like the record to reflect today

I molim neka uđe u zapisnik da sam se danas

uredno pojavila i odradila svoj dio.

that I showed up for my part of the job."

(Smijeh)

(Laughter)

Because --

Jer...

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Because in the end it's like this, OK --

na kraju krajeva, to je ovako...

centuries ago in the deserts of North Africa,

Prije nekoliko stoljeća, u pustinjama sjeverne Afrike

people used to gather for these moonlight dances of sacred dance and music

ljudi su se okupljali i plesali svete plesove pod mjesečinom

that would go on for hours and hours, until dawn.

plesali su satima i satima, sve do zore.

They were always magnificent, because the dancers were professionals

Uvijek su bili prekrasni! Plesači su bili profesionalci.

and they were terrific, right?

Plesali su izvanredno.

Tu i tamo, ne baš često, dogodilo bi se nešto neobično

But every once in a while, very rarely, something would happen,

and one of these performers would actually become transcendent.

i jedan od izvođača nadišao bi sebe.

And I know you know what I'm talking about,

Znate o čemu govorim, jer svi ste

because I know you've all seen, at some point in your life,

u nekom trenutku svog života vidjeli takvu izvedbu.

a performance like this.

It was like time would stop,

Vrijeme kao da stane

and the dancer would sort of step through some kind of portal

a plesač kao da zakorači kroz neki tajni prolaz

i čini sve isto kao što je činio već tisuću puta prije

and he wasn't doing anything different

than he had ever done, 1,000 nights before,

but everything would align.

no, sada se sve povezalo.

And all of a sudden, he would no longer appear to be merely human.

I najednom, skoro pa da ne izgleda kao čovjek.

Kao da iz njega zrači svjetlost, iznutra i izvana.

He would be lit from within, and lit from below

and all lit up on fire with divinity.

Obasjan je svjetlošću božanskoga.

And when this happened, back then,

Kada bi se to dogodilo, u ono drevno vrijeme

people knew it for what it was, you know, they called it by its name.

ljudi su znali što se zbiva. Imali su ime za to.

They would put their hands together and they would start to chant,

Spojili bi ruke i počeli zazivati:

"Allah, Allah, Allah, God, God, God."

"Allah, Allah, Allah! Bog, Bog, Bog!"

That's God, you know.

To je Bog!

Curious historical footnote:

Zanimljiva povijesna fusnota...

when the Moors invaded southern Spain, they took this custom with them

kad su Mauri okupirali južnu Španjolsku, donijeli su sa sobom i taj običaj.

and the pronunciation changed over the centuries

Izgovor se tijekom stoljeća promijenio

from "Allah, Allah, Allah," to "Olé, olé, olé,"

iz :"Allah, Allah, Allah!" u "Olé, Olé, Olé!", što i danas

which you still hear in bullfights and in flamenco dances.

čujete na borbama bikova i pri plesanju flamenka.

In Spain, when a performer has done something impossible and magic,

U Španjolskoj, kad izvođač napravi nešto nemoguće i čudesno, čuje se

"Allah, olé, olé, Allah, magnificent, bravo,"

"Allah, Olé, Olé, Allah, veličanstveno, bravo,

incomprehensible, there it is -- a glimpse of God.

nespoznatljivo, evo ga - tračak samog Boga."

Which is great, because we need that.

To je predivno. Svima nam to treba.

But, the tricky bit comes the next morning,

Nezgodno postaje jutro poslije,

for the dancer himself, when he wakes up and discovers

za samog plesača. Kad se probudi

that it's Tuesday at 11 a.m., and he's no longer a glimpse of God.

i shvati da je danas utorak, 11 sati ujutro, i da on više nije tračak Boga.

He's just an aging mortal with really bad knees,

Već smrtnik koji stari i bole ga koljena

and maybe he's never going to ascend to that height again.

i možda nikad više neće doseći te vrhunce.

And maybe nobody will ever chant God's name again as he spins,

Možda nikad nitko više neće zazivati Boga dok on pleše.

and what is he then to do with the rest of his life?

I što da sad radi s ostatkom života?

This is hard.

Teško je to.

This is one of the most painful reconciliations to make

To je nešto najbolnije s čime se trebamo pomiriti

in a creative life.

u svom životu stvaratelja.

But maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish

No možda to ne bi bilo tako zahtjevno i tjeskobno

if you never happened to believe, in the first place,

kada ne bismo, za početak, vjerovali

that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came from you.

da najizvrsniji dijelovi našeg bića dolaze od nas samih.

But maybe if you just believed that they were on loan to you

Zašto ne bismo vjerovali da ih samo posuđujemo

from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life

od nekog nezamislivog izvora, tijekom veličanstvenog dijela svog života

to be passed along when you're finished,

a kad završimo, onda ih proslijedimo dalje, nekom drugom.

with somebody else.

And, you know, if we think about it this way, it starts to change everything.

Kada bismo počeli tako razmišljati, to bi promijenilo sve.

This is how I've started to think,

Tako sam ja počela razmišljati,

and this is certainly how I've been thinking in the last few months

pogotovo zadnjih nekoliko mjeseci

as I've been working on the book that will soon be published,

dok sam radila na knjizi koja će uskoro ugledati svjetlo dana

as the dangerously, frighteningly over-anticipated follow up

kao zastrašujući, totalno preočekivani nastavak

to my freakish success.

mog jezovitog uspjeha.

And what I have to sort of keep telling myself

Moram si to govoriti i dalje

when I get really psyched out about that is don't be afraid.

kad izludim od svega.

"Ne boj se."

Don't be daunted. Just do your job.

"Ne plaši se."

"Samo radi svoj posao."

Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.

Samo nastavi redovito dolaziti. Odradi svoj dio posla, ma kakav bio.

If your job is to dance, do your dance.

Ako je tvoje da plešeš, pleši.

If the divine, cockeyed genius assigned to your case

Ako božanski, prevrtljivi genij dodijeljen tvom slučaju

decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed, for just one moment

odluči da se na trenutak tračak božanstvenosti nazre

through your efforts, then "Olé!"

baš kroz tvoj trud, tada "Olé!"

Ako ne, samo nastavi plesati.

And if not, do your dance anyhow.

And "Olé!" to you, nonetheless.

I "Olé!" tebi, bez obzira.

I believe this and I feel that we must teach it.

Vjerujem to. Osjećam da to moramo podučavati.

"Olé!" tebi, bez obzira.

"Olé!" to you, nonetheless,

just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness

Zbog čiste ljudske ljubavi i tvrdoglavosti

to keep showing up.

da se pojaviš.

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)

June Cohen: Olé!

June Cohen: "Olé!"

(Applause)

(Pljesak)