My stroke of insight | Jill Bolte Taylor | TED

Prevodilac: Mihailo Tešić Lektor: Ivana Korom

I grew up to study the brain

Odrasla sam u istraživača mozga

because I have a brother who has been diagnosed

zato što moj brat ima dijagnozu moždane bolesti:

with a brain disorder, schizophrenia.

And as a sister and later, as a scientist,

šizofreniju. I kao njegova sestra,

a kasnije i kao naučnik, želela sam da razumem zašto

I wanted to understand, why is it that I can take my dreams,

ja mogu da uzmem svoje snove, da ih povežem

I can connect them to my reality,

sa svojom stvarnošću i učinim da se moji snovi ostvare.

and I can make my dreams come true?

Šta je to s mozgom moga brata i

What is it about my brother's brain and his schizophrenia

njegovom šizofrenijom što čini da on ne može da poveže

that he cannot connect his dreams to a common and shared reality,

svoje snove sa zajedničkom realnošću koju svi delimo,

so they instead become delusion?

nego oni postaju obmana?

So I dedicated my career to research into the severe mental illnesses.

Zato sam posvetila svoju čitavu karijeru istraživanju

teških mentalnih oboljenja. I preselila sam se iz svoje rodne

And I moved from my home state of Indiana to Boston,

Indijane u Boston, gde sam radila u

where I was working in the lab of Dr. Francine Benes,

laboratoriji Dr Frensin Benes, u okviru

in the Harvard Department of Psychiatry.

Odseka za psihijatriju na Harvardu. U laboratoriji smo se pitali:

And in the lab, we were asking the question,

"What are the biological differences

"Koje su biološke razlike između mozgova pojedinaca

between the brains of individuals who would be diagnosed as normal control,

koji su imali dijagnozu normalne kontrole,

as compared with the brains of individuals

u poređenju sa mozgovima pojedinaca koji imaju dijagnozu

diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"

šizofrenije, šizoafektivnih ili bipolarnih poremećaja?"

So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry of the brain:

U suštini smo pravili mapu mikro-vodova

mozga: koje ćelije komuniciraju s kojima,

which cells are communicating with which cells,

pomoću kojih hemikalija i o kojim se

with which chemicals,

and then in what quantities of those chemicals?

količinama hemikalija radi?

So there was a lot of meaning in my life

To mi je puno značilo u životu, jer sam tokom dana

because I was performing this type of research during the day,

radila na takvim istraživanjima.

but then in the evenings and on the weekends,

A uveče i vikendom bih putovala

I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

u svojstvu advokata za NAMI, Nacionalnu alijansu za mentalna oboljenja.

But on the morning of December 10, 1996,

Ali jednog jutra, 10. decembra 1996., probudila sam se

I woke up to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.

i otkrila da i sama imam moždano oboljenje.

A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.

Krvni sud u levoj polovini mog mozga je eksplodirao.

I tokom sledeća četiri sata

And in the course of four hours,

imala sam priliku da posmatram kako mi moždana sposobnost

I watched my brain completely deteriorate

in its ability to process all information.

obrade informacija propada. Tog jutra, kada sam dobila izliv

On the morning of the hemorrhage,

nisam mogla da hodam, pričam, čitam, pišem ili se setim bilo čega o svom životu.

I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.

I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.

U suštini, postala sam dete u telu žene.

If you've ever seen a human brain,

Ako ste ikada videli ljudski mozak,

it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.

očigledno je da su njegove dve hemisfere potpuno odvojene.

Donela sam vam pravi ljudski mozak.

And I have brought for you a real human brain.

(Groaning, laughter)

Dakle, ovo je pravi mozak.

So this is a real human brain.

This is the front of the brain,

Ovo mu je čelo,

the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,

ovo je zadnji deo, kičmena moždina visi iz njega,

and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.

a ovo mu je položaj unutar moje glave.

And when you look at the brain,

Kada posmatrate mozak, očigledno je da

it's obvious that the two cerebral cortices

su dva cerebralna korteksa potpuno odvojena jedan od drugoga.

are completely separate from one another.

For those of you who understand computers,

Za one koji se razumeju u računare,

our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,

naša desna hemisfera funkcioniše kao paralelni procesor,

a leva kao serijalni procesor.

while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.

Dve hemisfere međusobno komuniciraju

The two hemispheres do communicate with one another

kroz korpus kalosum,

through the corpus callosum,

which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.

koji je sačinjen od oko 300 miliona aksonalnih vlakana.

Ali ako to izuzmemo,

But other than that,

the two hemispheres are completely separate.

dve hemisfere su potpuno razdvojene.

Because they process information differently,

Pošto drugačije obrađuju informacije,

each of our hemispheres think about different things,

svaka od naših hemisfera razmišlja o različitim stvarima,

they care about different things, and, dare I say,

stalo im je do drugih stvari i, ako mogu tako da kažem,

they have very different personalities.

imaju vrlo različite ličnosti.

Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy.

Izvinite. Hvala vam. Bilo mi je uživanje. (Asistent: Jeste.)

Assistant: It has been.

(Laughter)

Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment.

Naša desna hemisfera se sva tiče sadašnjeg trenutka.

Sva je u vezi sa "ovde i sada".

It's all about "right here, right now."

Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures

Naša desna hemisfera razmišlja u slikama

and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.

i uči kinestetički, kroz kretnje naših tela.

Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously

Informacije, u obliku energije, istovremeno stižu u nju

through all of our sensory systems

kroz sve naše čulne sisteme

and then it explodes into this enormous collage

i potom eksplodiraju u jedan ogroman kolaž

of what this present moment looks like,

aktuelnog trenutka: kako on izgleda,

what this present moment smells like and tastes like,

kako taj trenutak miriše, kakav mu je ukus,

what it feels like and what it sounds like.

kakav je na dodir i kakav mu je zvuk.

I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me

Ja sam biće energije povezano sa energijom oko mene

through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.

kroz svest moje desne hemisfere.

Mi smo bića energije, povezana jedna s drugima

We are energy-beings connected to one another

kroz svest u našim desnim hemisferama u jednu veliku ljudsku porodicu.

through the consciousness of our right hemispheres

as one human family.

And right here, right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,

I baš ovde,

baš sada, mi smo braća i sestre na ovoj planeti,

here to make the world a better place.

tu da učinimo svet boljim mestom.

And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.

I u ovom trenutku smo savršeni, celi i divni.

My left hemisphere, our left hemisphere, is a very different place.

Moja leva hemisfera - naša leva hemisfera - je prilično drugačije mesto.

Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.

Naša leva hemisfera razmišlja linearno i metodično.

Naša leva hemisfera

Our left hemisphere is all about the past and it's all about the future.

se sva tiče prošlosti i budućnosti.

Our left hemisphere is designed to take

Naša leva hemisfera je sazdana da preuzme

that enormous collage of the present moment

taj ogromni kolaž sadašnjeg trenutka i počne da

and start picking out details, and more details about those details.

izdvaja detalje, detalje i još detalja o tim detaljima.

Potom kategorizuje i

It then categorizes and organizes all that information,

organizuje sve te informacije, povezuje ih

associates it with everything in the past we've ever learned,

sa svime što smo u prošlosti ikada naučili i

and projects into the future all of our possibilities.

pojektuje sve naše mogućnosti u budućnost.

And our left hemisphere thinks in language.

I naša leva hemisfera razmišlja kroz jezik.

It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my internal world

Taj stalni žamor u mozgu je ono što povezuje mene

i moj unutrašnji svet sa mojim spoljašnjim svetom.

to my external world.

It's that little voice that says to me,

To je onaj mali glas koji mi govori: "Hej, moraš da se setiš

"Hey, you've got to remember to pick up bananas on your way home.

da pokupiš banane na putu do kuće.

I need them in the morning."

Trebaće mi ujutro."

It's that calculating intelligence

To je ta kalkulišuća inteligencija koja me podseća

that reminds me when I have to do my laundry.

na to da moram da operem veš. Ali, možda najvažnije od svega,

But perhaps most important, it's that little voice that says to me,

to je onaj glasić koji mi govori:

"I am. I am."

"Jesam. Ja jesam." I čim mi moja leva hemisfera kaže "Jesam",

And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"

Ja postajem izdvojeno.

I become separate.

Postojem jedna čvrsta individua, izdvojena od toka energije

I become a single solid individual,

separate from the energy flow around me

oko mene i odvojena od vas.

and separate from you.

And this was the portion of my brain that I lost on the morning of my stroke.

I to je deo mozga koji sam izgubila

tog jutra kada sam doživela udar.

On the morning of the stroke,

Tog jutra sam se probudila

I woke up to a pounding pain behind my left eye.

sa pulsirajućim bolom iza levog oka. Bio je to takav bol -

And it was the kind of caustic pain that you get when you bite into ice cream.

kaustičan bol - koji osetite kada

zagrizete sladoled. Prosto me je zgrabio

And it just gripped me --

and then it released me.

i onda me je pustio. I onda me je prosto zgrabio

And then it just gripped me --

and then it released me.

i pustio me. A za mene je vrlo neobično

And it was very unusual for me to ever experience any kind of pain,

da uopšte osetim bilo kakav bol,

so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."

pa sam pomislila, u redu, prosto ću početi s mojom normalnom rutinom.

So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,

Tako sam ustala i skočila na moj kardio glajder,

which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.

što vam je mašina za potpunu telesnu vežbu.

I tako ja pumpam na mašini i odjednom shvatam

And I'm jamming away on this thing,

and I'm realizing that my hands look like primitive claws

da moje ruke izgledaju kao primitivne kandže koje grabe

grasping onto the bar.

šipku. I mislim se: "To je baš neobično."

And I thought, "That's very peculiar."

I pogledam nadole, u svoje telo, i pomislim, "Uuu,

And I looked down at my body

and I thought, "Whoa, I'm a weird-looking thing."

što ja čudno izgledam". I to je bilo kao da

And it was as though my consciousness had shifted away

se moja svest pomerila iz moje normalne

from my normal perception of reality,

percepcije stvarnosti, gde sam ja ta osoba na

where I'm the person on the machine having the experience,

mašini koja proživljava iskustvo, u nekakav ezoteričan prostor

to some esoteric space

gde sam ja svedok sebe koja doživljavam iskustvo.

where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.

And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was just getting worse.

I sve to je bilo vrlo neobično i moja glavobolja se

samo pogoršavala. I ja siđem sa mašine

So I get off the machine,

and I'm walking across my living room floor,

i hodam kroz moju dnevnu sobu i

and I realize that everything inside of my body has slowed way down.

shvatim da se sve unutar moga tela

drastično usporilo. I svaki korak je vrlo krut i

And every step is very rigid and very deliberate.

vrlo nameran. Nema fluidnosti u mom hodu,

There's no fluidity to my pace,

i tu je kao neko suženje u mom opsegu percepcije

and there's this constriction in my area of perception,

tako da sam fokusirana na unutrašnje sisteme.

so I'm just focused on internal systems.

And I'm standing in my bathroom

I tako stojim u svome kupatilu, spremam se da

getting ready to step into the shower,

uđem pod tuš i mogu da zapravo čujem

and I could actually hear the dialogue inside of my body.

dijalog u svome telu. Čula sam mali glas

I heard a little voice saying, "OK. You muscles, you've got to contract.

koji kaže: "OK. Vi mišići, morate da se skupite.

You muscles, you relax."

Vi mišići, vi se opustite."

And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.

A onda sam izgubila ravnotežu i stojim oslonjena o zid.

I pogledam u svoju ruku i shvatim

And I look down at my arm

and I realize that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.

da više ne mogu da definišem granicu moga tela.

Ne mogu da odredim gde ja počinjem i gde se ja završavam

I can't define where I begin and where I end,

zato što su se atomi i molekuli moje ruke

because the atoms and the molecules of my arm

blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.

stopili sa atomima i molekulima zida.

And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.

I sve što mogu da osetim jeste ta energija - energija.

And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?

I pitam se: "Šta mi je, šta ne valja?

What is going on?"

Šta se događa?" I u tom trenutku, žamor u mom mozgu

And in that moment, my left hemisphere brain chatter went totally silent.

žamor u levoj polovini mog mozga - potpuno utihne.

Baš kao da je neko uzeo daljinski upravljač

Just like someone took a remote control and pushed the mute button.

i pritisnuo "mute". Totalna tišina.

Total silence.

And at first I was shocked to find myself inside of a silent mind.

I isprva sam bila šokirana što sam se zatekla

unutar tihog uma. Ali odmah potom me je

But then I was immediately captivated

opčinila veličanstvenost sve te energije oko mene.

by the magnificence of the energy around me.

I pošto više nisam mogla da identifikujem

And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body,

granice sopstvenog tela, osećala sam se ogromno i prostrano.

I felt enormous and expansive.

Osetila sam se sjedinjeno sa svom energijom unaokolo,

I felt at one with all the energy that was,

i tamo mi je bilo predivno.

and it was beautiful there.

Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back online

A onda se odjednom moja leva hemisfera ponovo

uključi i kaže mi, "Hej! Imamo problem!"

and it says to me, "Hey! We've got a problem!

We've got to get some help."

Imamo problem! Treba nam pomoć."

And I'm going, "Ahh! I've got a problem!"

I ja mislim, "Ah! imam problem.

(Laughter)

Imam problem." I krenem, "OK. OK. Imam problem."

So it's like, "OK, I've got a problem."

But then I immediately drifted right back out into the consciousness --

Ali onda odmah odlutam nazad

u svest - i od milošte

and I affectionately refer to this space as La La Land.

taj prostor zovem La La Land (Dembelija).

But it was beautiful there.

Ali tamo je bilo divno. Zamislite kako bi to bilo

Imagine what it would be like to be totally disconnected

da vam se potpuno prekine veza s mozgom

from your brain chatter that connects you to the external world.

taj žamor koji vas povezuje sa spoljnim svetom.

So here I am in this space,

I eto mene u tom prostoru i moj posao -

and my job, and any stress related to my job -- it was gone.

i sav stres vezan za posao - nestao.

And I felt lighter in my body.

I osećala sam se lakše u svom telu. I zamislite:

svi odnosi sa spoljnim svetom i svi

And imagine all of the relationships in the external world

and any stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.

stresori vezani za sve njih - sve je nestalo.

And I felt this sense of peacefulness.

I osetila sam takav mir.

And imagine what it would feel like to lose

I zamislite kako bi to bilo da izgubite 37 godina emotivnog nasleđa!

37 years of emotional baggage!

(Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria --

(Smeh) O, osetila sam euforiju.

euphoria.

Euforiju. Bilo je prelepo.

It was beautiful.

And again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,

A onda, opet se vrati moja leva hemisfera i kaže:

"Hey! You've got to pay attention.

"Hej! Moraš da obratiš pažnju.

We've got to get help."

Moramo da nađemo pomoć." I ja mislim: "Moram da nađem pomoć.

And I'm thinking, "I've got to get help. I've got to focus."

Moram da se fokusiram."

So I get out of the shower and I mechanically dress

I izađem iz tuš-kabine i mehanički se

obučem i hodam po stanu,

and I'm walking around my apartment,

i razmišljam, "Moram na posao. Moram na posao."

and I'm thinking, "I've got to get to work. Can I drive?"

Mogu li da vozim? Mogu li da vozim?"

And in that moment,

I u tom trenutku mi se desna ruka potpuno

my right arm went totally paralyzed by my side.

paralizovala uz bok. I tada sam shvatila:

Then I realized, "Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke!"

"O, bože! Imam moždani udar! Imam moždani udar!"

And the next thing my brain says to me is,

I sledeća stvar koju mi moj mozak kaže je: "Uuu!

Wow! This is so cool!

Ovo je tako kul." (Smeh) "Ovo je tako kul!

(Laughter)

This is so cool!

How many brain scientists have the opportunity

Koliko naučnika koji se bave mozgom ima priliku

to study their own brain from the inside out?"

da prouči svoj mozak iznutra?"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"

A onda mi kroz glavu prođe: "Ali ja sam žena s puno obaveza!"

(Laughter)

(Smeh) "Nemam ja vremena za moždani udar!"

"I don't have time for a stroke!"

So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,

I onda kažem: "OK, ne mogu da sprečim moždani udar,

tako da ću ovo da radim nedelju ili dve,

so I'll do this for a week or two, and then I'll get back to my routine. OK.

a onda ću da se vratim svojoj rutini. OK.

So I've got to call help. I've got to call work."

Tako da moram da pozovem pomoć. Da okrenem posao."

I couldn't remember the number at work,

Nisam mogla da se setim broja na poslu,

so I remembered, in my office I had a business card with my number.

ali sam se setila da u kancelariji imam vizit-kartu

sa svojim brojem. I odem ja u kućnu kancelariju,

So I go into my business room, I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.

izvučem 10 cm visoku gomilu vizit-karata.

And I'm looking at the card on top

I gledam u karticu na vrhu i iako

and even though I could see clearly in my mind's eye

mogu jasno u umu da vidim kako moja vizit-karta izgleda

what my business card looked like,

I couldn't tell if this was my card or not,

ne mogu da kažem da li je ovo

moja kartica ili nije, jer su mi pred očima sve sami pikseli.

because all I could see were pixels.

And the pixels of the words blended with the pixels of the background

I pikseli reči se utapaju

u piksele pozadine i piksele simbola

and the pixels of the symbols, and I just couldn't tell.

i prosto ne mogu da odredim šta je šta.

And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.

I onda sačekam ono što zovem talas jasnoće.

And in that moment, I would be able to reattach to normal reality

U tom trenutku mogu da se

ponovo uvežem s normalnom stvarnošću i da kažem

and I could tell that's not the card... that's not the card.

ovo nije ta kartica... ovo nije ta kartica... ovo nije ta kartica.

Trebalo mi je 45 minuta da prođem 3 cm

It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down inside of that stack of cards.

kroz gomilu kartica.

In the meantime, for 45 minutes,

U međuvremenu, tokom 45 minuta, izliv

the hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left hemisphere.

u mojoj levoj hemisferi postaje sve veći.

I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone,

Ne razumem brojeve. Ne razumem telefon,

but it's the only plan I have.

ali to je jedini plan koji imam.

So I take the phone pad and I put it right here.

I uzmem slušalicu i stavim je tu. I uzmem vizit-kartu

I take the business card, I put it right here,

stavim je pred sebe i

and I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card

povezujem oblik crtica na kartici

to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.

sa oblikom crtica na slušalici.

But then I would drift back out into La La Land,

Ali onda odlutam nazad u Dembeliju

and not remember when I came back if I'd already dialed those numbers.

i kada se vratim ne sećam se da li sam već

okrenula te brojeve.

So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump

Tako da sam morala da držim svoju paralizovanu ruku

and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed them,

kao patrljak dok sam prolazila brojeve i pritiskala ih

tako da, kada se vratim u normalnu

so that as I would come back to normal reality,

stvarnost, mogu da kažem, "Da, taj broj sam već okrenula."

I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."

Eventually, the whole number gets dialed and I'm listening to the phone,

Konačno, okrenem ceo broj

i slušam telefon i

and my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,

moj kolega se javi i kaže mi

"Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter)

"Vu vu vu vu". (Smeh) I ja pomislim:

(Laughter)

And I think to myself,

"O bože, zvuči kao zlatni ritriver!"

"Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"

(Laughter)

And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him:

I ja njemu kažem - sasvim jasno u mom umu, kažem mu:

"This is Jill! I need help!"

"Džil ovde! Treba mi pomoć!"

And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo."

A moj glas ispadne "Vu vu vu vu vu".

I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever."

I mislim: "O bože, zvučim kao zlatni ritriver".

Nisam mogla da znam - nisam znala da

So I couldn't know -- I didn't know

that I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried.

ne mogu da progovorim ili razumem jezik dok nisam probala.

So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.

I on je shvatio da mi treba pomoć i pozvao je pomoć.

I malo kasnije, ja se tako vozim u

And a little while later, I am riding in an ambulance

ambulatnim kolima preko Bostona iz jedne bolnice u Glavnu bolnicu

from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital.

i sklupčam se u malu fetusnu loptu.

And I curl up into a little fetal ball.

I baš kao balon u kome je ostao tračak vazduha,

And just like a balloon with the last bit of air,

baš, baš pravo iz balona, osetila sam

just right out of the balloon,

kako se moja energije podiže - i samo kako mi se duh predaje.

I just felt my energy lift and just I felt my spirit surrender.

I u tom trenutku sam znala da

And in that moment, I knew that I was no longer the choreographer of my life.

više nisam koreograf svoga života.

And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a second chance at life,

I ili će doktori spasiti moje telo i pružiti mi

drugu priliku da živim ili bi ovo možda mogao

or this was perhaps my moment of transition.

biti moj trenutak prelaska.

When I woke later that afternoon,

Kada sam se probudila kasnije popodne, sa šokom

I was shocked to discover that I was still alive.

sam otkrila da sam još uvek živa. Kada sam osetila svoj duh

When I felt my spirit surrender, I said goodbye to my life.

kako se predaje, oprostila sam se sa životom.

And my mind was now suspended

I moj um je sada bio zaustavljen između dve

between two very opposite planes of reality.

suprotstavljene ravni stvarnosti. Stimulansi

Stimulation coming in through my sensory systems

su na moje čulne sisteme delovali kao čist bol.

felt like pure pain.

Light burned my brain like wildfire,

Svetlost mi je progorevala mozak kao plamen, a zvuci

and sounds were so loud and chaotic

su bili toliko glasni i haotični da nisam mogla da

that I could not pick a voice out from the background noise,

razaberem glas od pozadinskog šuma

and I just wanted to escape.

i samo sam želela da pobegnem. Zato što nisam mogla da odredim

Because I could not identify the position of my body in space,

položaj mog tela u prostoru, osećala sam se ogromnom i prostranom

I felt enormous and expansive,

kao duh tek oslobođen iz boce.

like a genie just liberated from her bottle.

I moj duh je sukljao slobodno, kao veliki kit

And my spirit soared free,

like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria.

klizeći kroz more tihe euforije.

Nirvana.

Nirvana. Našla sam Nirvanu. I sećam se da sam mislila

I found Nirvana.

And I remember thinking,

there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself

kako nema šanse da ću ikada moći da uguram

svu svoju ogromnost nazad u ovo sićušno telašce.

back inside this tiny little body.

But then I realized, "But I'm still alive!

Ali onda sam shvatila: "Ali, još uvek sam živa! Još uvek sam živa

I'm still alive, and I have found Nirvana.

i našla sam Nivranu. I ako sam

And if I have found Nirvana and I'm still alive,

našla Nirvanu i još sam živa, onda svako

then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana."

živi može da nađe Nirvanu." I zamislila sam svet

And I pictured a world

filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people

prepun predivnih, mirnih, saosećajnih

ljudi punih ljubavi koji znaju da mogu da dođu

who knew that they could come to this space at any time.

u ovaj prostor bilo kada. I da mogu da

And that they could purposely choose

namerno iskorače nadesno iz svoje

to step to the right of their left hemispheres --

leve hemisfere i nađu ovaj mir. A onda sam

and find this peace.

And then I realized

shvatila koliko bi ogroman dar ovo iskustvo

what a tremendous gift this experience could be,

moglo biti, kakav udar uvida bi ovo moglo biti

what a stroke of insight this could be to how we live our lives.

o tome kako živimo svoje živote. I to me motivisalo da se oporavim.

And it motivated me to recover.

Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the surgeons went in,

Dve i po nedelje posle izliva,

hirurzi su izvršili operaciju i uklonili ugrušak krvi

and they removed a blood clot the size of a golf ball

veličine loptice za golf koji je pritiskao moje jezičke centre.

that was pushing on my language centers.

Evo mene s mojom mamom,

Here I am with my mama,

who is a true angel in my life.

koja je pravi anđeo u mom životu. Trebalo mi je osam godina da se potpuno oporavim.

It took me eight years to completely recover.

So who are we?

Pa ko smo to mi? Mi smo životna sila univerzuma,

We are the life-force power of the universe,

spretni s rukama i sa dva kognitivna uma.

with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds.

I imamo moć da biramo, od trenutka do trenutka,

And we have the power to choose, moment by moment,

ko i kako želimo da budemo u ovom svetu.

who and how we want to be in the world.

Right here, right now,

Ovde, sada, mogu da zakoračim u

I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are.

svest moje desne hemisfere, gde smo mi.

I am the life-force power of the universe.

Ja sam snaga životne sile univerzuma.

I am the life-force power

Ja sam snaga životne sile 50 triliona predivnih

of the 50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form,

molekularnih duhova koji sačinjavaju moj oblik, jedno sa svime što postoji.

at one with all that is.

Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere,

Ili mogu da odaberem da kročim u svest moje

leve hemisfere, gde postajem jedna individua,

where I become a single individual, a solid.

čvrsto agregatno stanje. Izdvojena iz toka,

Separate from the flow, separate from you.

izdvojena od vas. Ja sam dr Džil Bolte Tejlor:

I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:

intellectual, neuroanatomist.

intelektualac, neuroanatom. To su "mi" unutar mene.

These are the "we" inside of me.

Which would you choose?

Šta biste vi odabrali? Šta odabirate? I kada?

Which do you choose?

And when?

Ja verujem da što više vremena utrošimo

I believe that the more time we spend

choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry

odabirući da upravljamo dubokim tokovima unutrašnjeg mira

of our right hemispheres,

u našim desnim hemisferama, više mira ćemo

the more peace we will project into the world,

odašiljati u svet i naša planeta će biti tim mirnija.

and the more peaceful our planet will be.

I mislila sam da je to ideja vredna širenja.

And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.

Thank you.

(Applause)