My stroke of insight | Jill Bolte Taylor | TED

Prevoditelj: Predrag Pale Recezent: Nenad Maljković

I grew up to study the brain

Usmjerila sam se prema neuroznanosti

because I have a brother who has been diagnosed

zato što imam brata kojemu su dijagnosticirali moždani poremećaj:

with a brain disorder, schizophrenia.

And as a sister and later, as a scientist,

- šizofreniju. Kao sestra,

a kasnije i kao znanstvenica, željela sam razumjeti zašto

I wanted to understand, why is it that I can take my dreams,

ja vlastite snove mogu povezati

I can connect them to my reality,

s vlastitom stvarnošću, i tako ih mogu ostvariti.

and I can make my dreams come true?

Što je to s mozgom moga brata i

What is it about my brother's brain and his schizophrenia

njegovom šizofrenijom da on ne može povezati svoje snove

that he cannot connect his dreams to a common and shared reality,

sa svima poznatom i zajedničkom stvarnošću,

so they instead become delusion?

već oni postaju halucinacije?

So I dedicated my career to research into the severe mental illnesses.

Zato sam svoju karijeru posvetila istraživanju

teških mentalnih bolesti. Preselila sam se

And I moved from my home state of Indiana to Boston,

iz rodne Indiane u Boston, gdje sam radila

where I was working in the lab of Dr. Francine Benes,

u laboratoriju dr. Francine Benes,

in the Harvard Department of Psychiatry.

na odjelu psihijatrije na Harvardu. U laboratoriju smo se pitali:

And in the lab, we were asking the question,

"What are the biological differences

"Po čemu se biološki razlikuje mozak osoba

between the brains of individuals who would be diagnosed as normal control,

koje bismo dijagnosticirali kao normalnu kontrolnu skupinu

as compared with the brains of individuals

u usporedbi s mozgom osoba koje bismo dijagnosticirali

diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"

da imaju šizofreni, šizo-afektivni ili bipolarni poremećaj?"

So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry of the brain:

Mi smo u biti mapirali mikro krugove mozga:

koje ćelije komuniciraju s kojima,

which cells are communicating with which cells,

pomoću kojih kemikalija i zatim

with which chemicals,

and then in what quantities of those chemicals?

u kojim količinama tih kemikalija?

So there was a lot of meaning in my life

Moj je život bio ispunjen smislom,

because I was performing this type of research during the day,

jer sam cijele dane izvodila ta istraživanja.

but then in the evenings and on the weekends,

No navečer ili vikendom, putovala sam kao

I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

predstavnik udruge NAMI (Nacionalnog saveza za mentalne bolesti).

But on the morning of December 10, 1996,

Ali u jutro 10. prosinca 1996. probudila sam se

I woke up to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.

i otkrila da i sama imam moždani poremećaj.

A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.

Eksplodirala je krvna žila u lijevoj polutki moga mozga.

Tijekom iduća četiri sata,

And in the course of four hours,

promatrala sam kako moj mozak potpuno gubi sposobnost

I watched my brain completely deteriorate

in its ability to process all information.

obrade informacija. Tog jutra kada se desilo krvarenje,

On the morning of the hemorrhage,

nisam mogla hodati, govoriti, čitati, pisati ili se prisjetiti bilo čega iz svog života.

I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.

I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.

U suštini, postala sam novorođenče u tijelu žene.

If you've ever seen a human brain,

Ako ste ikada vidjeli ljudski mozak, očigledno je

it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.

da su dvije polutke mozga potpuno odvojene jedna od druge.

A ja sam vam donijela pravi ljudski mozak.

And I have brought for you a real human brain.

(Groaning, laughter)

Ovo je, dakle, pravi ljudski mozak.

So this is a real human brain.

This is the front of the brain,

Ovo je prednja strana mozga,

the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,

a ovo stražnja s leđnom moždinom koja visi,

and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.

a ovako bi bio položen u mojoj glavi.

And when you look at the brain,

I kada ga dobro pogledate, očigledno je

it's obvious that the two cerebral cortices

da su dvije moždane polutke potpuno odvojene jedna od druge.

are completely separate from one another.

For those of you who understand computers,

Oni među vama koji razumiju kompjutere,

our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,

naša desna polutka radi kao paralelni procesor,

a lijeva kao serijski procesor.

while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.

Dvije polutke ipak međusobno komuniciraju

The two hemispheres do communicate with one another

kroz corpus collosum,

through the corpus callosum,

which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.

kojeg čini nekih 300 miliona izduženih živčanih vlakana.

No, osim te veze,

But other than that,

the two hemispheres are completely separate.

dvije su polutke potpuno zasebne.

Because they process information differently,

Zato što informacije obrađuju na drukčije načine,

each of our hemispheres think about different things,

svaka naša polutka misli o različitim stvarima,

they care about different things, and, dare I say,

one brinu o različitim stvarima i, usuđujem se reći,

they have very different personalities.

imaju drugačije osobnosti.

Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy.

Oprostite... Hvala... bilo mi je zadovoljstvo. - I meni.

Assistant: It has been.

(Laughter)

Our right human hemisphere is all about this present moment.

Naša desna polutka sasvim je u sadašnjem trenutku.

Sve je na temu "upravo ovdje, upravo sada."

It's all about "right here, right now."

Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures

Naša desna polutka razmišlja u slikama,

and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.

i uči kinestetički kroz pokrete našeg tijela.

Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously

Informacije, u obliku energije, utječu istovremeno

through all of our sensory systems

kroz sva naša osjetila

and then it explodes into this enormous collage

i onda eksplodiraju u ogromni kolaž

of what this present moment looks like,

onoga kako sadašnji trenutak izgleda,

what this present moment smells like and tastes like,

kako sadašnji trenutak miriši i kakav mu je okus,

what it feels like and what it sounds like.

kako ga osjećamo i kako zvuči.

I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me

Ja sam energetsko biće, povezano s energijom svuda oko mene

through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.

kroz svjesnost moje desne polutke.

Mi smo energetska bića međusobno povezana

We are energy-beings connected to one another

svjesnošću naše desne polutke u jednu veliku ljudsku obitelj.

through the consciousness of our right hemispheres

as one human family.

And right here, right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,

I upravo ovdje

i upravo sada, mi smo braća i sestre na ovom planetu,

here to make the world a better place.

ovdje smo da svijet učinimo boljim.

And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.

I baš u ovom trenutku smo savršeni, cjeloviti i prekrasni.

My left hemisphere, our left hemisphere, is a very different place.

Moja lijeva polutka - naša lijeva polutka - je bitno drugačija.

Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.

Naša lijeva polutka misli linearno i metodično.

Naša lijeva polutka

Our left hemisphere is all about the past and it's all about the future.

se bavi prošlošću i budućnošću.

Our left hemisphere is designed to take

Naša lijeva polutka oblikovana je tako da

that enormous collage of the present moment

iz tog ogromnog kolaža sadašnjeg trenutka

and start picking out details, and more details about those details.

izdvoji detalje, još detalja i još više detalja o tim detaljima.

I onda ih kategorizira i

It then categorizes and organizes all that information,

posloži sve te informacije, povezuje ih sa

associates it with everything in the past we've ever learned,

svime što smo u prošlosti naučili

and projects into the future all of our possibilities.

i projicira sve naše mogućnosti u budućnost.

And our left hemisphere thinks in language.

Naša lijeva polutka razmišlja jezikom.

It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my internal world

To je ono neprekidno brbljanje koje povezuje mene

i moj unutarnji s mojim vanjskim svijetom.

to my external world.

It's that little voice that says to me,

To je onaj glasić koji mi kaže: "Hej, moraš se sjetiti

"Hey, you've got to remember to pick up bananas on your way home.

kupiti banane na povratku kući.

I need them in the morning."

Trebam ih ujutro."

It's that calculating intelligence

To je ona proračunata inteligencija koja me podsjeća

that reminds me when I have to do my laundry.

kada trebam oprati rublje. Što je možda najvažnije,

But perhaps most important, it's that little voice that says to me,

to je onaj glasić koji mi govori,

"I am. I am."

"Ja jesam. Ja jesam." Čim mi moja lijeva polutka

And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"

kaže "Ja jesam", ja se odvojim.

I become separate.

Postajem zasebna, čvrsta jedinka, odvojena

I become a single solid individual,

separate from the energy flow around me

od toka energije oko mene i odvojena od vas.

and separate from you.

And this was the portion of my brain that I lost on the morning of my stroke.

I to je bio dio mozga koji sam izgubila

tog jutra kada sam doživjela moždani udar.

On the morning of the stroke,

Toga jutra kada me pogodio moždani udar, probudila me

I woke up to a pounding pain behind my left eye.

pulsirajuća bol iza lijevog oka. To je bila ona vrsta boli -

And it was the kind of caustic pain that you get when you bite into ice cream.

oštre boli - koju osjetite kada

zagrizete u sladoled. Zgrabila me -

And it just gripped me --

and then it released me.

i onda me pustila. I onda me ponovo zgrabila -

And then it just gripped me --

and then it released me.

i onda me opet pustila. Za mene je vrlo neuobičajeno

And it was very unusual for me to ever experience any kind of pain,

da me bilo što boli,

so I thought, "OK, I'll just start my normal routine."

pa sam pomislila: u redu, idem sve raditi kao i inače.

So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,

Pa sam ustala i skočila na spravu za vježbanje.

which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.

To je stroj za vježbanje cijelog tijela.

I tako ja guslam po toj spravi, i shvaćam

And I'm jamming away on this thing,

and I'm realizing that my hands look like primitive claws

da moje ruke izgledaju kao primitivne kandže

grasping onto the bar.

koje su zgrabile ručku. I mislim si: "To je baš čudno."

And I thought, "That's very peculiar."

A onda pogledam dolje, svoje tijelo i pomislim:

And I looked down at my body

and I thought, "Whoa, I'm a weird-looking thing."

"Uf, ja baš čudno izgledam." Kao da

And it was as though my consciousness had shifted away

se moja svijest odvojila od moje normalne percepcije stvarnosti,

from my normal perception of reality,

u kojoj sam osoba na spravi koja nešto doživljava,

where I'm the person on the machine having the experience,

i ušla u neki ezoterični prostor

to some esoteric space

u kojem gledam na samu sebe kako nešto doživljavam.

where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.

And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was just getting worse.

Sve je to bilo vrlo čudno, a i moja je glavobolja

postajala sve jača. I tako siđem sa sprave

So I get off the machine,

and I'm walking across my living room floor,

i hodam kroz dnevnu sobu

and I realize that everything inside of my body has slowed way down.

i shvatim da se sve u mome tijelu

jako usporilo. I svaki je korak vrlo krut

And every step is very rigid and very deliberate.

i vrlo promišljen. Nema glatkoće u mojim pokretima

There's no fluidity to my pace,

i da postoji neko ograničenje za moju prostornu percepciju

and there's this constriction in my area of perception,

pa sam usmjerena samo na svoje unutarnje sustave.

so I'm just focused on internal systems.

And I'm standing in my bathroom

I dok stojim u kupaonici pripremajući se

getting ready to step into the shower,

zakoračiti u tuš, mogla sam zapravo čuti dijalog

and I could actually hear the dialogue inside of my body.

unutar moga tijela. Čula sam glasić kako kaže:

I heard a little voice saying, "OK. You muscles, you've got to contract.

"Dobro. Vi tamo, mišići, morate se stegnuti,

You muscles, you relax."

a vi ovdje morate se opustiti."

And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.

I zatim sam izgubila ravnotežu i naslonila se na zid.

Pogledam dolje svoju ruku, i shvatim

And I look down at my arm

and I realize that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.

da više ne mogu odrediti granice svoga tijela.

Ne mogu odrediti gdje počinjem, a gdje završavam,

I can't define where I begin and where I end,

jer se atomi i molekule moje ruke

because the atoms and the molecules of my arm

blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.

stapaju s atomima i molekulama zida.

And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.

Jedino što sam mogla percipirati je ta energija... energija.

And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?

Pitam se: "Što ne valja sa mnom?

What is going on?"

Što se to dešava?" I u tom trenutku, moje brbljanje mozga -

And in that moment, my left hemisphere brain chatter went totally silent.

brbljanje moje lijeve polutke - potpuno je utihnulo.

Kao da je netko uzeo daljinski

Just like someone took a remote control and pushed the mute button.

i pritisno gumb za isključivanje zvuka. Potpuna tišina.

Total silence.

And at first I was shocked to find myself inside of a silent mind.

U prvom sam trenutku bila šokirana

kad sam se našla u mom utihlom umu.

But then I was immediately captivated

Ali odmah me obuzela veličanstvenost energije oko mene.

by the magnificence of the energy around me.

A kako više nisam mogla odrediti

And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body,

granice svog tijela, osjetila sam da sam ogromna i da se širim.

I felt enormous and expansive.

Osjetila sam se jedno sa svom postojećom energijom i

I felt at one with all the energy that was,

to je bilo predivno.

and it was beautiful there.

Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back online

Tada se odjednom moja lijeva polutka ponovo uključi

i kaže mi: "Hej! Imamo problem!

and it says to me, "Hey! We've got a problem!

We've got to get some help."

Imamo problem! Trebamo pozvati pomoć!"

And I'm going, "Ahh! I've got a problem!"

A ja kažem, "Aaa! Ja imam problem!

(Laughter)

Ja imam problem!" A onda: "Dobro. Dobro. Ja imam problem.“

So it's like, "OK, I've got a problem."

But then I immediately drifted right back out into the consciousness --

No, onda sam opet odmah otplutala

u svjesnost - ja od milja

and I affectionately refer to this space as La La Land.

taj prostor zovem zemlja La La.

But it was beautiful there.

Ali tamo je bilo predivno. Zamislite kako bi to bilo

Imagine what it would be like to be totally disconnected

biti potpuno odvojen od brbljanja lijevog mozga

from your brain chatter that connects you to the external world.

koji vas povezuje s vanjskim svijetom.

So here I am in this space,

Eto tu sam, u tom prostoru, a moj posao -

and my job, and any stress related to my job -- it was gone.

i sav stres povezan s mojim poslom - nestali su.

And I felt lighter in my body.

I osjetila sam se lakšom u svome tijelu. I zamislite,

da svi odnosi u izvanjskom svijetu

And imagine all of the relationships in the external world

and any stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.

i svi stresovi u vezi s njima, da sve to nestane.

And I felt this sense of peacefulness.

Imala sam taj osjećaj pomirenosti.

And imagine what it would feel like to lose

I zamislite kakav je osjećaj izgubiti 37 godina emotivne prtljage!

37 years of emotional baggage!

(Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria --

(smijeh) Osjećala sam euforiju!

euphoria.

Euforiju! Bilo je prekrasno tamo!

It was beautiful.

And again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,

A onda se opet uključi moja lijeva polutka i kaže:

"Hey! You've got to pay attention.

"Hej! Obrati pažnju!

We've got to get help."

Moramo pozvati pomoć!" I ja si mislim: "Moram pozvati pomoć.

And I'm thinking, "I've got to get help. I've got to focus."

Moram se usredotočiti."

So I get out of the shower and I mechanically dress

Pa izađem iz tuša, mehanički se odjenem,

pa krenem stanom i mislim:

and I'm walking around my apartment,

"Moram otići na posao. Moram otići na posao.

and I'm thinking, "I've got to get to work. Can I drive?"

Mogu li voziti? Mogu li voziti?"

And in that moment,

I u tom trenutku desna ruka pala mi je uz tijelo

my right arm went totally paralyzed by my side.

potpuno paralizirana. A onda sam shvatila:

Then I realized, "Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke!"

"Pa zaboga! Imam moždani udar! Imam moždani udar!"

And the next thing my brain says to me is,

I prvo što mi je mozak rekao bilo je:

Wow! This is so cool!

"Hej, pa to je super." (smijeh) "To je baš super!

(Laughter)

This is so cool!

How many brain scientists have the opportunity

Koliko neuroznanstvenika ima priliku

to study their own brain from the inside out?"

izučavati svoj vlastiti mozak izravnim iskustvom?"

(Laughter)

(smijeh)

And then it crosses my mind, "But I'm a very busy woman!"

I onda sam se prisjetila: "Ali ja imam jako puno posla!"

(Laughter)

(smijeh) "Ja nemam vremena za moždani udar!"

"I don't have time for a stroke!"

So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,

Onda si mislim: "U redu. Ne mogu spriječiti udar,

pa ću se njime baviti tjedan ili dva,

so I'll do this for a week or two, and then I'll get back to my routine. OK.

a onda natrag na posao. U redu.

So I've got to call help. I've got to call work."

Dakle, moram pozvati pomoć. Moram nazvati nekog na poslu."

I couldn't remember the number at work,

Nisam se mogla sjetiti telefonskog broja na poslu,

so I remembered, in my office I had a business card with my number.

ali sam se sjetila da u radnoj sobi imam posjetnicu

na kojoj piše moj broj. I odem ja u svoju radnu sobu.

So I go into my business room, I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.

Izvučem hrpu posjetnica.

And I'm looking at the card on top

I pogledam posjetnicu na vrhu

and even though I could see clearly in my mind's eye

i iako u svom umu jasno vidim kako izgleda moja posjetnica,

what my business card looked like,

I couldn't tell if this was my card or not,

ne mogu prepoznati je li to moja posjetnica,

jer sve što vidim su točkice.

because all I could see were pixels.

And the pixels of the words blended with the pixels of the background

A točkice riječi su stopljene

s točkicama pozadine i točkicama simbola

and the pixels of the symbols, and I just couldn't tell.

i jednostavno ih ne raspoznajem.

And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.

I onda sam čekala na ono što zovem val jasnoće.

And in that moment, I would be able to reattach to normal reality

U tom bih trenutku ponovno bila spojena

sa svojom stvarnošću i mogla bih

and I could tell that's not the card... that's not the card.

prepoznati svoju posjetnicu… nije ova… nije ova…

Trebalo mi je 45 minuta

It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down inside of that stack of cards.

da prelistam dvadesetak posjetnica.

In the meantime, for 45 minutes,

U međuvremenu, u tih 45 minuta, krvarenje

the hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left hemisphere.

u mojoj lijevoj polutci postaje sve veće.

I do not understand numbers, I do not understand the telephone,

Više ne razumijem brojeve. Ne razumijem ni telefon,

but it's the only plan I have.

no to je jedini plan koji imam.

So I take the phone pad and I put it right here.

Uzmem telefon pred sebe. Uzmem posjetnicu,

I take the business card, I put it right here,

stavim je ovako i pokušavam usporediti

and I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card

oblik črčki na posjetnici

to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.

s oblikom črčki na telefonu.

But then I would drift back out into La La Land,

Ali onda opet otplutam u zemlju La La,

and not remember when I came back if I'd already dialed those numbers.

a kad se vratim, više se ne sjećam

jesam li otipkala broj ili nisam.

So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump

Morala sam pomicati svoju paraliziranu rukom koja je bila poput klade

and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed them,

i pokrivati brojeve kako sam ih tipkala.

Tako da bi, kad bih se vratila u stvarnost,

so that as I would come back to normal reality,

znala "Da, tu znamenku sam već otipkala."

I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."

Eventually, the whole number gets dialed and I'm listening to the phone,

Konačno, sve su znamenke otipkane

i ja prinesem slušalicu,

and my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,

a moj kolega s druge strane kaže mi:

"Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter)

"Vu vu vuu vuu vuu." (smijeh) A ja si pomislim:

(Laughter)

And I think to myself,

"Zaboga, pa on zvuči kao zlatni retriver!"

"Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"

(Laughter)

And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him:

I ja mu kažem - u mome umu ja mu potpuno jasno kažem:

"This is Jill! I need help!"

"Ovdje Jill! Trebam pomoć!"

And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo."

A iz mene izlazi: "Vu vu vuu vuu vuu."

I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever."

I pomislim: "Zaboga, pa i ja zvučim kao zlatni retriver."

Dakle, nisam znala, nisam mogla znati

So I couldn't know -- I didn't know

that I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried.

da ne mogu govoriti ni razumjeti jezik, dok nisam probala.

So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.

On je, dakle, shvatio da mi treba pomoć i pozvao ju je.

Malo kasnije, hitna me pomoć vozi

And a little while later, I am riding in an ambulance

iz jedne bolnice u Bostonu u drugu,

from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital.

a ja sam se sklupčala

And I curl up into a little fetal ball.

u malo fetalno klupko. I... baš poput balona s posljednjim tragovima zraka,

And just like a balloon with the last bit of air,

iznenada osjetim kako moja energija nestaje -

just right out of the balloon,

i osjećam kako se moj duh predaje.

I just felt my energy lift and just I felt my spirit surrender.

U tom trenutku mi je postalo jasno

And in that moment, I knew that I was no longer the choreographer of my life.

da više nisam koreograf svog života.

And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a second chance at life,

Ili će liječnici spasiti moje tijelo

i dati mi drugu šansu

or this was perhaps my moment of transition.

ili je ovo možda moj trenutak prelaska.

When I woke later that afternoon,

Kad sam se probudila kasnije tog popodneva,

I was shocked to discover that I was still alive.

šokirala me spoznaja da sam još živa.

When I felt my spirit surrender, I said goodbye to my life.

Kad sam osjetila da se moj duh predao, oprostila sam se od života.

And my mind was now suspended

Moj je um sada bio razapet između dvije

between two very opposite planes of reality.

vrlo različite razine stvarnosti. Podražaji

Stimulation coming in through my sensory systems

koji su dolazili kroz moja osjetila bili su čista bol.

felt like pure pain.

Light burned my brain like wildfire,

Svjetlo mi je palilo mozak poput šumskog požara,

and sounds were so loud and chaotic

zvukovi su bili tako glasni i kaotični da nisam mogla

that I could not pick a voice out from the background noise,

razlikovati glas od pozadinske buke.

and I just wanted to escape.

Samo sam htjela pobjeći. S obzirom da nisam mogla definirati

Because I could not identify the position of my body in space,

položaj svog tijela u prostoru, osjećala sam se ogromnom i u širenju,

I felt enormous and expansive,

poput duha puštenog iz boce.

like a genie just liberated from her bottle.

A moj je duh jurio slobodan, poput velikog kita

And my spirit soared free,

like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria.

koji klizi morem tihe euforije.

Nirvana.

Nirvana. Našla sam nirvanu. I sjećam se kako sam mislila

I found Nirvana.

And I remember thinking,

there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself

da nikad više neću moći ugurati

tu svoju ogromnost natrag u to sićušno tijelo.

back inside this tiny little body.

But then I realized, "But I'm still alive!

Ali sam shvatila "Ali još sam živa! Još sam živa

I'm still alive, and I have found Nirvana.

i našla sam nirvanu." A ako sam ja našla nirvanu,

And if I have found Nirvana and I'm still alive,

i još sam živa, onda svatko

then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana."

tko je živ također može naći nirvanu. I zamislila sam

And I pictured a world

filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people

svijet pun prelijepih, smirenih, suosjećajnih, dragih ljudi

koji znaju da mogu doći u taj prostor kad god požele.

who knew that they could come to this space at any time.

I da mogu namjerno i svjesno

And that they could purposely choose

odlučiti ući u desnu polutku

to step to the right of their left hemispheres --

i pronaći ovaj mir.

and find this peace.

And then I realized

A onda sam shvatila kakav bi ogroman dar

what a tremendous gift this experience could be,

ovo iskustvo moglo biti, što bi ovaj uvid mogao značiti

what a stroke of insight this could be to how we live our lives.

za to kako živimo svoje živote. To me je motiviralo da se oporavim.

And it motivated me to recover.

Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the surgeons went in,

Dva i pol tjedna poslije krvarenja,

kirurzi su uklonili ugrušak krvi

and they removed a blood clot the size of a golf ball

veličine loptice za golf koji je pritiskao moje jezične centre.

that was pushing on my language centers.

Ovdje sam s mojom mamom, koja je pravi anđeo mog života.

Here I am with my mama,

who is a true angel in my life.

Trebalo mi je osam godina da se potpuno oporavim.

It took me eight years to completely recover.

So who are we?

Dakle, tko smo mi? Mi smo životna sila svemira

We are the life-force power of the universe,

sa spretnim rukama i dva spoznajna uma.

with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds.

I imamo moć odabira, u svakom trenutku,

And we have the power to choose, moment by moment,

tko i kako želimo biti na ovome svijetu.

who and how we want to be in the world.

Right here, right now,

Upravo ovdje i upravo sada, ja mogu ući

I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are.

u svijest svoje desne polutke, u kojoj jesmo.

I am the life-force power of the universe.

Ja sam životna sila svemira.

I am the life-force power

Ja sam životna sila 50 triliona prelijepih

of the 50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form,

molekularnih genija koji čine moje obličje, jedno sa svime što jest.

at one with all that is.

Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere,

Ili, mogu odlučiti da stupim u svijest

moje lijeve polutke gdje ću postati odvojena jedinka,

where I become a single individual, a solid.

čvrsto tijelo. Odvojena od toka,

Separate from the flow, separate from you.

odvojena od vas. Ja sam dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:

I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor:

intellectual, neuroanatomist.

intelektualka i neuroanatomistica. To su ta "jastva" u meni.

These are the "we" inside of me.

Which would you choose?

Koje biste vi odabrali? Koje ćete odabrati? I kada?

Which do you choose?

And when?

Vjerujem da što više vremena voljno provodimo

I believe that the more time we spend

choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry

u duboko smirenim unutarnjim krugovima

of our right hemispheres,

desne polutke, više ćemo mira

the more peace we will project into the world,

projicirati u svijet i naš će planet biti mirniji.

and the more peaceful our planet will be.

Pomislila sam da je to "ideja vrijedna širenja".

And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.

Thank you.

(Applause)