Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

Prevodilac: Milenka Okuka Lektor: Mile Živković

What keeps us healthy and happy

Šta nas održava zdravim i srećnim

as we go through life?

kako prolazimo kroz život?

If you were going to invest now

Ukoliko biste ulagali danas

in your future best self,

u najbolju verziju sebe u budućnosti,

where would you put your time and your energy?

gde biste uložili svoje vreme i energiju?

There was a recent survey of millennials

Nedavno je na milenijumskoj generaciji urađena anketa,

asking them what their most important life goals were,

pitali su ih koji su im najvažniji životni ciljevi

and over 80 percent said

i preko 80 procenata je reklo

that a major life goal for them was to get rich.

da im je najvažniji cilj da se obogate.

And another 50 percent of those same young adults

A ostalih 50 procenata iz iste generacije mladih

said that another major life goal

je reklo da im je drugi važan životni cilj

was to become famous.

da budu poznati.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder

I stalno nam govore da moramo da zapnemo na poslu, da se više trudimo

and achieve more.

i da više postižemo.

We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after

Stekli smo utisak da je to ono što bismo trebali da sledimo

in order to have a good life.

kako bismo imali dobar život.

Pictures of entire lives,

Slike celokupnih života,

of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,

izbora koje ljudi prave i kako su im se ti izbori odvijali,

those pictures are almost impossible to get.

te slike je gotovo nemoguće napraviti.

Most of what we know about human life

Većina onoga što znamo o ljudskom životu

we know from asking people to remember the past,

znamo iz odgovora na pitanja o sećanjima iz prošlosti

and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.

i, koliko nam je poznato, osvrtanje u prošlost uopšte nije pouzdano.

We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,

Zaboravljamo ogromnu većinu onoga što nam se desilo u životu

and sometimes memory is downright creative.

i ponekad je sećanje istinski kreativno.

But what if we could watch entire lives

Međutim, šta ako bismo mogli da posmatramo celokupne živote

as they unfold through time?

kako se vremenom razvijaju?

What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers

Šta kad bismo mogli da izučavamo ljude od tinejdžerskog uzrasta

all the way into old age

sve do starosti,

to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?

kako bismo otkrili šta ljude održava srećnim i zdravim?

We did that.

Učinili smo to.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

Harvardovo istraživanje razvoja odraslih

may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

je možda najduže istraživanje života odraslih koje je ikad sprovedeno.

For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,

Tokom 75 godina smo pratili živote 724 muškarca,

year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,

godinu za godinom, pitali smo ih o poslu, njihovim porodičnim životima, zdravlju

and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories

i, naravno, pitali smo sve vreme ne znajući kako će njihove životne priče

were going to turn out.

ispasti.

Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

Ovakva istraživanja su izuzetno retka.

Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade

Skoro svi slični projekti se raspadnu u roku od jedne decenije

because too many people drop out of the study,

jer prevelik broj ljudi napusti istraživanje

or funding for the research dries up,

ili finansiranje istraživanja prestane

or the researchers get distracted,

ili istraživačima nešto drugo odvuče pažnju

or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.

ili umru i niko ne nastavi započeti posao.

But through a combination of luck

Međutim, kombinacijom sreće

and the persistence of several generations of researchers,

i upornosti nekoliko generacija istraživača,

this study has survived.

ovo istraživanje je preživelo.

About 60 of our original 724 men

Oko 60, od naša prvobitna 724 muškaraca,

are still alive,

su i dalje živi,

still participating in the study,

i dalje učestvuju u istraživanju,

most of them in their 90s.

većina je u devedesetim godinama.

And we are now beginning to study

I sada počinjemo da izučavamo

the more than 2,000 children of these men.

preko 2000 dece ovih muškaraca.

And I'm the fourth director of the study.

A ja sam četvrti direktor istraživanja.

Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.

Od 1938, pratili smo živote dve grupe muškaraca.

The first group started in the study

Prva grupa je započela istraživanje

when they were sophomores at Harvard College.

kad su bili druga godina na Harvardu.

They all finished college during World War II,

Svi su završili fakultet tokom Drugog svetskog rata,

and then most went off to serve in the war.

a potom je većina otišla u ratnu službu.

And the second group that we've followed

A druga grupa koju smo pratili

was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

je bila grupa dečaka iz najsiromašnijih četvrti Bostona,

boys who were chosen for the study

dečaci koji su izabrani za istraživanje

specifically because they were from some of the most troubled

baš zato što potiču iz nekih od najproblematičnijih

and disadvantaged families

i najugroženijih porodica

in the Boston of the 1930s.

iz Bostona 1930-ih.

Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.

većina je živela u lamelama, mnogi nisu imali toplu, ni hladnu tekuću vodu.

When they entered the study,

Kada su postali deo istraživanja,

all of these teenagers were interviewed.

svi ovi tinejdžeri su intervjuisani.

They were given medical exams.

Obavljeni su medicinski pregledi na njima.

We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.

Posetili smo njihove domove i razgovarali sa njihovim roditeljima.

And then these teenagers grew up into adults

A onda su ovi tinejdžeri postali odrasli ljudi

who entered all walks of life.

raznih zanimanja.

They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,

Postali su fabrički radnici i pravnici i zidari i doktori,

one President of the United States.

jedan je postao predsednik SAD.

Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.

Neki su postali alkoholičari. Nekoliko je dobilo šizofreniju.

Some climbed the social ladder

Neki su se popeli na društvenoj lestvici,

from the bottom all the way to the very top,

s dna skroz do samog vrha,

and some made that journey in the opposite direction.

a neki su išli obrnutim smerom.

The founders of this study

Osnivači ovog istraživanja

would never in their wildest dreams

ne bi ni u najluđim snovima

have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,

mogli da zamisle da ću danas da stojim ovde, 75 godina kasnije,

telling you that the study still continues.

i da vam govorim da istraživanje i dalje traje.

Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff

Svake dve godine, naše strpljivo i posvećeno osoblje

calls up our men and asks them if we can send them

poziva naše muškarce i pita ih da li možemo da im pošaljemo

yet one more set of questions about their lives.

još jednu seriju pitanja o njihovim životima.

Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

Mnogi od muškaraca iz centralnog Bostona nas pitaju:

"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."

"Zašto me i dalje izučavate? Moj život prosto nije toliko zanimljiv."

The Harvard men never ask that question.

Muškarci sa Harvarda nikad ne postavljaju to pitanje.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

To get the clearest picture of these lives,

Kako bismo imali jasniju sliku ovih života,

we don't just send them questionnaires.

ne šaljemo im samo upitnike.

We interview them in their living rooms.

Intervjuišemo ih u njihovim dnevnim boravcima

We get their medical records from their doctors.

Uzimamo zdravstvene kartone od njihovih doktora.

We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

Uzimamo im krv, skeniramo njihove mozgove,

we talk to their children.

razgovaramo s njihovom decom.

We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.

Snimamo ih dok razgovaraju sa suprugama o svojim najvećim brigama.

And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives

I kada smo, pre jedne decenije, konačno upitali supruge

if they would join us as members of the study,

da nam se pridruže kao učesnice u istraživanju,

many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."

mnoge žene su rekle: "Znate, bilo je i vreme."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

So what have we learned?

Pa, šta smo naučili?

What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages

Koje su lekcije proizašle iz desetina hiljada stranica

of information that we've generated

informacija koje smo sakupili

on these lives?

o ovim životima?

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

Pa, lekcije nisu o bogatstvu ili slavi ili sve vrednijem i vrednijem radu.

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:

Najjasnija poruka koja nam je stigla iz 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja je sledeća:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

dobri odnosi nas održavaju srećnijima i zdravijima, i tačka.

We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

Naučili smo tri važne lekcije o odnosima.

The first is that social connections are really good for us,

Prva je da su društvene veze zaista dobre po nas

and that loneliness kills.

i da usamljenost ubija.

It turns out that people who are more socially connected

Ispostavilo se da ljudi, koji su društveno povezaniji

to family, to friends, to community,

s porodicom, prijateljima, društvom,

are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer

su srećniji, fizički zdraviji i žive duže

than people who are less well connected.

od ljudi koji su lošije povezani.

And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.

A ispostavilo se da je iskustvo usamljenosti otrovno.

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others

Ljudi koji su izolovaniji od drugih, više nego što bi želeli da budu,

find that they are less happy,

otkrivaju da su manje srećni,

their health declines earlier in midlife,

zdravlje počnje da im se pogoršava rano tokom srednjih godina,

their brain functioning declines sooner

njihove moždane funkcije ranije počnu da opadaju

and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

i žive kraće od ljudi koji nisu usamljeni.

And the sad fact is that at any given time,

A tužna istina je da u bilo kom momentu,

more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

više od jednog od pet Amerikanaca će reći da je usamljeno.

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd

I znamo da možete biti usamljeni u gomili

and you can be lonely in a marriage,

i da možete biti usamljeni u braku,

so the second big lesson that we learned

pa je sledeća velika lekcija koju smo naučili

is that it's not just the number of friends you have,

ta da se ne radi samo o broju prijatelja koje imate

and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,

i ne radi se o tome da li ste u privrženoj vezi,

but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

već je važan kvalitet vaših bliskih veza.

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.

Ispostavilo se da je život u središtu konflikta zaista loš za vaše zdravlje.

High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,

Izrazito konfliktni brakovi, na primer, bez mnogo ljubavi,

turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.

ispostavilo se da su veoma loši po vaše zdravlje, možda i gori od razvoda.

And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

A život unutar dobre, tople veze vas štiti.

Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,

Kako smo pratili naše muškarce sve do njihovih 80-ih,

we wanted to look back at them at midlife

želeli smo da se osvrnemo na njih tokom srednjih godina

and to see if we could predict

i da vidimo možemo li predvideti

who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian

ko će da ostari u srećnog, zdravog osamdesetogodišnjaka,

and who wasn't.

a ko neće.

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them

I kada smo sakupili sve što znamo o njima

at age 50,

kad su imali 50 godina,

it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels

njihove vrednosti holesterola

that predicted how they were going to grow old.

nisu te koje su predvidele kako će da ostare.

It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.

Već to koliko su zadovoljni u svojim vezama.

The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50

Ljudi koji su bili najzadovoljniji u svojim vezama s 50 godina

were the healthiest at age 80.

su bili najzdraviji sa 80 godina.

And good, close relationships seem to buffer us

A dobre, bliske veze čini se da ublažavaju

from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.

bičeve i udarce starosti.

Our most happily partnered men and women

Naši najsrećnije upareni muškarci i žene

reported, in their 80s,

su izjavili, u svojim 80-im,

that on the days when they had more physical pain,

da je u danima kad su osećali više fizičkog bola,

their mood stayed just as happy.

njihovo raspoloženje ostajalo jednako vedro.

But the people who were in unhappy relationships,

Međutim, ljudi koji su bili u nezadovoljavajućim vezama,

on the days when they reported more physical pain,

u danima kada bi prijavili više fizičkog bola,

it was magnified by more emotional pain.

on je bio pojačan višim stepenom emotivnog bola.

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health

A treća važna lekcija koju smo naučili o vezama i našem zdravlju

is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,

je da dobre veze, ne štite samo naša tela,

they protect our brains.

već štite i naše mozgove.

It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship

Ispostavilo se da kad ste u sigurnoj i privrženoj vezi

to another person in your 80s is protective,

s drugom osobom, u svojim 80-im, to je poput štita,

that the people who are in relationships

da ljudi koji su u vezama

where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,

u kojim osećaju da zaista mogu da računaju na drugu osobu kad je to potrebno,

those people's memories stay sharper longer.

sećanja tih ljudi duže ostaju jasna.

And the people in relationships

A ljudi u vezama

where they feel they really can't count on the other one,

u kojim osećaju da zaista ne mogu da računaju na drugu osobu,

those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

ti ljudi ranije doživljavaju pogoršanje pamćenja.

And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.

A te dobre veze, ne moraju stalno da budu prijatne.

Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other

Neki od naših osamdestogodišnjih parova mogu zvocati jedno drugom

day in and day out,

po čitavi dan,

but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other

međutim dokle god bi osećali da se zaista mogu osloniti jedno na drugo

when the going got tough,

kad dođe teško vreme,

those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.

te svađe nisu uzimale danak njihvom pamćenju.

So this message,

Dakle, ova poruka

that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,

da su dobre, prisne veze dobre za naše zdravlje i dobrobit,

this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

ova mudrost je stara kao Grčka.

Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?

Zašto je ovo teško shvatiti i lako zanemariti?

Well, we're human.

Pa, ljudi smo.

What we'd really like is a quick fix,

Mi bismo zaista želeli brza rešenja,

something we can get

nešto što možemo da uzmemo

that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.

zbog čega će naši životi biti dobri i takvi će i ostati.

Relationships are messy and they're complicated

Veze su haotične i složene,

and the hard work of tending to family and friends,

a vredan rad na održavanju porodice i prijatelja,

it's not sexy or glamorous.

nije ni seksi, ni glamurozan.

It's also lifelong. It never ends.

Uz to je i celoživotan. Nikad se ne završava.

The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement

Ljudi iz našeg 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja koji su bili najsrećniji kao penzioneri

were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

su oni koji su aktivno radili na zameni prijatelja s posla, onim za zabavu.

Just like the millennials in that recent survey,

Baš kao milenijumska generacija u skorašnjem istraživanju,

many of our men when they were starting out as young adults

većina naših muškaraca, na samom početku, kao mladići,

really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement

zaista su verovali da su slava i bogatstvo i velika dostignuća

were what they needed to go after to have a good life.

ono što moraju da jure da bi imali dobar život.

But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown

Ali iznova i iznova, tokom ovih 75 godina, naše istraživanje je pokazivalo

that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,

da su najdalje stigli ljudi koji su se oslanjali na veze,

with family, with friends, with community.

s porodicom, prijateljima, zajednicom.

So what about you?

Dakle, šta je s vama?

Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.

Recimo da imate 25 ili 40 ili 60 godina.

What might leaning in to relationships even look like?

Kako bi oslanjanje na veze uopšte izgledalo?

Well, the possibilities are practically endless.

Pa, mogućnosti su skoro neograničene.

It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time

Moglo bi da bude nešto prosto kao menjanje vremena ispred ekrana vremenom s ljudima

or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,

ili oživljavanje učmale veze novom zajedničkom aktivnošću,

long walks or date nights,

dugim šetnjama ili izlascima uveče

or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years,

ili posezanje za članom porodice s kim niste razgovarali godinama

because those all-too-common family feuds

jer sve te opšte poznate porodične svađe

take a terrible toll

uzimaju užasan danak

on the people who hold the grudges.

ljudima koji su zlopamtila.

I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.

Želeo bih da završim citatom Marka Tvena.

More than a century ago,

Pre više od jednog veka,

he was looking back on his life,

osvrtao se na svoj život

and he wrote this:

i napisao sledeće:

"There isn't time, so brief is life,

"Nema vremena, tako kratak je život,

for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account.

za prepirke, izvinjenja, prezir, pozivanja na odgovornost.

There is only time for loving,

Imamo samo vremena za ljubav,

and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

i to samo tren, tako reći, za to."

The good life is built with good relationships.

Dobar život se gradi dobrim vezama.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)