Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

Prevoditelj: Anja Kolobarić Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

What keeps us healthy and happy

Što nas čini zdravima i sretnima

as we go through life?

dok prolazimo kroz život?

If you were going to invest now

Da sada ulažete

in your future best self,

u svoju buduću bolju verziju,

where would you put your time and your energy?

u što biste uložili svoje vrijeme i energiju?

There was a recent survey of millennials

U nedavnom istraživanju generacije Y

asking them what their most important life goals were,

ispitanike su pitali što su im najvažniji životni ciljevi

and over 80 percent said

i preko 80% ispitanika izjavilo je

that a major life goal for them was to get rich.

da je jedan od njihovih najvećih životnih ciljeva obogatiti se.

And another 50 percent of those same young adults

Drugih 50% tih istih mladih odraslih osoba

said that another major life goal

tvrdi da im je jedan od najvećih životnih ciljeva

was to become famous.

postati poznat/a.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder

Stalno nam govore da se bacimo na posao, da se više trudimo

and achieve more.

kako bismo više postigli.

We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after

Stekli smo dojam da su to stvari kojima moramo težiti

in order to have a good life.

kako bismo živjeli dobrim životima.

Pictures of entire lives,

Slike cjelokupnih života,

of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,

izbora na koje se ljudi odluče i kakvima se ti izbori za njih pokažu

those pictures are almost impossible to get.

gotovo je nemoguće dobiti.

Most of what we know about human life

Većinu toga što nam je poznato o ljudskom životu

we know from asking people to remember the past,

saznali smo tražeći od ljudi da se prisjete prošlosti

and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.

i, kao što već znamo, sjećanja nisu pretjerano pouzadana.

We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,

Puno toga što nam se dogodi tijekom života jednostavno zaboravimo,

and sometimes memory is downright creative.

a nekada naša sjećanja postanu strašno kreativna.

But what if we could watch entire lives

Ali što kad bismo mogli gledati cijele naše živote

as they unfold through time?

kako se postepeno razvijaju?

What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers

Što kad bismo mogli proučavati ljude od tinejdžerske dobi

all the way into old age

sve do starosti

to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?

kako bismo vidjeli što ljude uistinu čini sretnima i zdravima?

We did that.

Mi smo to i učinili.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

Harvardsko istraživanje o razvoju mladih

may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

možda je i najduže istraživanje o odraslosti ikada provedeno.

For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,

Punih 75 godina pratili smo živote 724 muškarca,

year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,

godinu za godinu ispitivali smo ih o karijeri, obiteljskom životu, zdravlju,

and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories

i to smo ih ispitivali cijelo vrijeme ne znajući kako će njihove životne priče

were going to turn out.

završiti.

Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

Istraživanja poput ovoga iznimno su rijetka.

Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade

Gotovo svi projekti ove vrste raspadnu se unutar deset godina

because too many people drop out of the study,

jer previše ispitanika odustane od sudjelovanja u istraživanju,

or funding for the research dries up,

ili izvori financiranja istraživanja presuše,

or the researchers get distracted,

ili si istraživači nađu drugu zanimaciju

or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.

ili umru i nitko ne nastavi njihov posao.

But through a combination of luck

No, kombinacijom sreće

and the persistence of several generations of researchers,

i upornosti nekoliko generacija istraživača

this study has survived.

ovo je istraživanje preživjelo.

About 60 of our original 724 men

Otprilike 60 od naša originalna 724 muškarca

are still alive,

još je uvijek živo,

still participating in the study,

još uvijek sudjeluju u istraživanju,

most of them in their 90s.

a većina njih u devedesetim je godinama.

And we are now beginning to study

Sada počinjemo istraživati

the more than 2,000 children of these men.

više od 2 000 djece ovih muškaraca.

And I'm the fourth director of the study.

Ja sam četvrti voditelj ovog istraživanja.

Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.

Od 1938. pratili smo živote dviju skupina muškaraca.

The first group started in the study

Prva se skupina uključila u istraživanje

when they were sophomores at Harvard College.

kada su bili na drugoj godini studija na Harvardu.

They all finished college during World War II,

Svi su završili fakultet tijekom Drugog svjetskog rata,

and then most went off to serve in the war.

a zatim je većina otišla sudjelovati u ratu.

And the second group that we've followed

Druga skupina čije smo živote pratili

was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

bila je skupina dječaka iz najsiromašnijih dijelova Bostona.

boys who were chosen for the study

Bili su to dječaci koji su namjerno

specifically because they were from some of the most troubled

izabrani za istraživanje jer su dolazili iz najproblematičnijih

and disadvantaged families

i najuskraćenijih obitelji

in the Boston of the 1930s.

u Bostonu 1930-ih godina.

Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.

Većina je živjela kao podstanari, a mnogi bez tople i hladne vode.

When they entered the study,

Kada su se uključili u istraživanje,

all of these teenagers were interviewed.

svi su tinejdžeri prošli intervju,

They were given medical exams.

medicinske preglede,

We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.

obišli smo im kuće i intervjuirali im roditelje,

And then these teenagers grew up into adults

a onda su ti tinejdžeri izrasli u odrasle ljude

who entered all walks of life.

koji su bavili svim mogućim zanimanjima;

They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,

postali su tvornički radnici, odvjetnici, zidari i doktori,

one President of the United States.

a jedan je postao i predsjednik SAD-a.

Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.

Neki su postali alkoholičari, neki su oboljeli od šizofrenije,

Some climbed the social ladder

neki su popravili svoj društveni status,

from the bottom all the way to the very top,

pa su se tako s dna uzdigli na sam vrh,

and some made that journey in the opposite direction.

a neki su ga pak potpuno pokvarili.

The founders of this study

Osnivači ovog istraživanja

would never in their wildest dreams

nikada ne bi ni pomislili

have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,

da ću ja ovdje stajati nakon 75 godina

telling you that the study still continues.

i govoriti vam o tome kako ovo istraživanje i dalje traje.

Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff

Svake dvije godine naše strpljivo i predano istraživačko osoblje

calls up our men and asks them if we can send them

zove naše ispitanike i pita ih možemo li im poslati

yet one more set of questions about their lives.

još jedan upitnik o njihovim životima.

Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

Mnogo ispitanika iz središta Bostona pita nas:

"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."

"Zašto me još uvijek želite istraživati? Moj život uopće nije toliko zanimljiv."

The Harvard men never ask that question.

Ispitanici s Harvarda nas to nikad ne pitaju.

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

To get the clearest picture of these lives,

Kako bismo dobili što jasniju sliku o njihovim životima,

we don't just send them questionnaires.

ne pošaljemo im samo upitnik.

We interview them in their living rooms.

Intervjuiramo ih u njihovom dnevnom boravku,

We get their medical records from their doctors.

od njihovih liječnika tražimo povijest bolesti,

We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

šaljemo ih na vađenje krvi i skeniranje mozga.

we talk to their children.

Razgovaramo s njihovom djecom,

We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.

snimamo ih dok sa suprugama razgovaraju o najdubljim strahovima.

And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives

Kada smo prije desetak godina konačno i njihove supruge pitali

if they would join us as members of the study,

žele li i one biti ispitanice u istraživanju,

many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."

mnoge su rekle: "Bilo je i vrijeme da me to pitate."

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

So what have we learned?

Što smo naučili?

What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages

Što smo naučili iz desetaka tisuća stranica

of information that we've generated

podataka koje smo prikupili

on these lives?

o ovim životima?

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

Nismo ništa naučili o bogatstvu, slavi i napornom radu.

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:

Najjasnija poruka koju smo izvukli iz ovog 75-ogodišnjeg istraživanja jest:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

Dobri odnosi čine nas sretnijima i zdravijima. Točka.

We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

Naučili smo tri velike stvari o odnosima.

The first is that social connections are really good for us,

Prva - društvene veze uistinu su dobre za nas,

and that loneliness kills.

a usamljenost nas ubija.

It turns out that people who are more socially connected

Ljudi koji su društveno povezaniji

to family, to friends, to community,

s obitelji, prijateljima i zajednicom

are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer

sretniji su, fizički zdraviji i duže žive

than people who are less well connected.

od ljudi koju su manje dobro povezani.

And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.

Usamljenost je toksična.

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others

Ljudi koji su izoliraniji nego što bi htjeli biti

find that they are less happy,

manje su sretni,

their health declines earlier in midlife,

kvaliteta zdravlja opada im ranije tijekom srednjih godina,

their brain functioning declines sooner

funkcije mozga ranije opadaju

and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

te žive kraće nego ljudi koji nisu usamljeni.

And the sad fact is that at any given time,

Rastužuje činjenica da

more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

svaki peti Amerikanac tvrdi da je usamljen.

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd

Znamo da možemo biti usamljeni i u gomili ljudi,

and you can be lonely in a marriage,

a možemo biti usamljeni i u braku.

so the second big lesson that we learned

Stoga je druga velika stvar koju smo naučili

is that it's not just the number of friends you have,

ta da nije bitan samo broj prijatelja koje imamo,

and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,

a ni to jeste li u ozbiljnoj vezi,

but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

već je bitna kvaliteta tih bliskih odnosa.

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.

Život u središtu konflikta loš je po zdravlje.

High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,

Npr. visokokonfliktni brakovi bez previše ljubavi

turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.

jako su loši po naše zdravlje, možda čak i gori od razvoda.

And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

Život u dobrim, toplim odnosima služi kao zaštitni faktor.

Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,

Kad smo naše ispitanike dopratili sve do njihovih 80-ih godina,

we wanted to look back at them at midlife

odlučili smo prisjetiti se njihove srednje dobi

and to see if we could predict

da vidimo možemo li predvidjeti

who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian

tko će izrasti u sretnog, zdravog osamdesetogodišnjaka,

and who wasn't.

a tko neće.

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them

Kad smo skupili sve što smo znali o njima

at age 50,

u 50. godini,

it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels

nije njihova razina kolesterola u toj dobi

that predicted how they were going to grow old.

bila ta koja nam je pomogla predvidjeti kako će ostariti,

It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.

već njihovo zadovoljstvo odnosima koje imaju.

The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50

Oni koji su bili najzadovoljniji svojim vezama u 50. godini

were the healthiest at age 80.

bili su najzdraviji s 80 godina.

And good, close relationships seem to buffer us

Dobre, bliske veze štite nas

from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.

od nekih teškoća koje uzrokuje starenje.

Our most happily partnered men and women

Najsretniji parovi

reported, in their 80s,

u svojim 80-im godinama tvrdili su

that on the days when they had more physical pain,

da su i onim danima kad su iskusili više fizičke boli

their mood stayed just as happy.

bili jednako dobro raspoloženi,

But the people who were in unhappy relationships,

ali nesretni parovi

on the days when they reported more physical pain,

tvrdili da je tim danima

it was magnified by more emotional pain.

njihova duševna bol bila još veća.

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health

Treća velika stvar koju smo naučili o odnosima i zdravlju jest:

is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,

dobri odnosi ne štite samo naša tijela

they protect our brains.

već i naše umove.

It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship

Veza u kojoj vlada sigurna privrženost

to another person in your 80s is protective,

drugoj osobi u osamdesetim godinama djeluje kao zaštitni faktor.

that the people who are in relationships

Osobama koje su u vezama

where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,

u kojima znaju da mogu računati na drugu osobu u teškoćama

those people's memories stay sharper longer.

pamćenje duže ostaje netaknuto.

And the people in relationships

Osobe u vezama

where they feel they really can't count on the other one,

u kojima se osjećaju kao da ne mogu računati na drugu osobu

those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

pate od ranijeg gubitka pamćenja.

And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.

Te dobre veze ne moraju uvijek biti takve.

Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other

Neki od 80-ogodišnjih parova svađali su se

day in and day out,

iz dana u dan,

but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other

ali sve dok su imali osjećaj da zaista mogu računati jedno na drugo

when the going got tough,

kad zagusti,

those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.

te svađe nisu negativno utjecale na njihovo pamćenje.

So this message,

Ova poruka

that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,

da su dobre bliske veze dobre za naše zdravlje i blagostanje

this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

mudrost je stara kao i sam svijet.

Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?

Zašto je to tako teško postići, a tako lako ignorirati?

Well, we're human.

Mi smo samo ljudi.

What we'd really like is a quick fix,

Htjeli bismo brzo rješenje,

something we can get

nešto što će naše živote

that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.

poboljšati i pomoći nam da takvi i ostanu.

Relationships are messy and they're complicated

Veze su burne i komplicirane,

and the hard work of tending to family and friends,

a sav trud koji ulažemo u brigu za obitelj i prijatelje

it's not sexy or glamorous.

nije ni seksi, a ni glamurozan.

It's also lifelong. It never ends.

Cjeloživotan je, nema mu kraja.

The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement

Naši ispitanici koji su bili najsretniji kad su otišli u mirovinu

were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

bili su oni koji su radili na tome da kolege zamijene novim prijateljima.

Just like the millennials in that recent survey,

Baš poput generacije Y u tom nedavnom istraživanju

many of our men when they were starting out as young adults

mnogi naši ispitanici su kao mladi ljudi

really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement

zaista vjerovali da je slava, bogatstvo i veliki uspjeh

were what they needed to go after to have a good life.

to što im je potrebno za dobar život,

But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown

ali tijekom ovih 75 godina naše je istraživanje pokazalo

that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,

da su najbolje prošli upravo oni koji su najviše ulagali u odnose

with family, with friends, with community.

s obitelji, prijateljima i zajednicom.

So what about you?

Što to znači za vas?

Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.

Recimo da vam je sad 25 g., ili 40 ili 60.

What might leaning in to relationships even look like?

Kako bi ulaganje u odnose uopće trebalo izgledati?

Well, the possibilities are practically endless.

Mogućnosti su neograničene.

It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time

Možete učiniti nešto jednostavno kao npr. odmaknuti se od ekrana i približiti ljudima

or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,

ili oživjeti dosadnu vezu nekom novom aktivnosti,

long walks or date nights,

dugim šetnjama ili spojevima.

or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years,

Ili javiti se nekom članu obitelji s kojim niste razgovarali godinama

because those all-too-common family feuds

jer te česte obiteljske svađe

take a terrible toll

ostavljaju trag

on the people who hold the grudges.

na zlopamtilima.

I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.

Završit ću citatom Marka Twaina

More than a century ago,

koji se prije više od stotinjak godina

he was looking back on his life,

osvrtao na svoj život

and he wrote this:

i napisao ovo:

"There isn't time, so brief is life,

"Vremena nema, prekratak je život,

for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account.

za svađe, isprike, srcobolje, pozivanja na red.

There is only time for loving,

Vremena ima jedino za ljubav,

and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

a i za nju, takoreći, imamo tek časak."

The good life is built with good relationships.

Dobar život satkan je od dobrih veza.

Thank you.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)