Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

譯者: Harry Chen 審譯者: Hayley Kang

What keeps us healthy and happy

當我們渡過此生

as we go through life?

是什麼讓我們保有健康跟幸福呢？

If you were going to invest now

為了將來過得最好的自己，

in your future best self,

假使你們現在正要下本錢的話，

where would you put your time and your energy?

你會把時間和精力投注在哪兒呢？

There was a recent survey of millennials

有個對千禧世代的近期研究

asking them what their most important life goals were,

問他們人生最重要的目標是什麼？

and over 80 percent said

超過八成說主要的目標是變得富有；

that a major life goal for them was to get rich.

And another 50 percent of those same young adults

以及同一批未成氣候的成年人

said that another major life goal

另有五成說另一個主要的目標 是變得名聲響亮。

was to become famous.

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder

而且我們不斷地聽人講要傾心工作、

更賣力些以及取得更多的成就；

and achieve more.

We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after

我們被灌輸概念－為了有美好的生活，

in order to have a good life.

這些東西是我們需要追求的。

Pictures of entire lives,

周齊的人生圖景－

of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,

大家做出的選擇以及這些選擇 為他們帶來什麼結果－

those pictures are almost impossible to get.

幾乎無從得知；

Most of what we know about human life

我們對人生所知道的絕大部份

we know from asking people to remember the past,

來自於訴請別人記起過往。

and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.

如同我們所知－事後很容易有後見知明， 但是要預測未來是很難的；

We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,

我們記不住一生當中 大多數發生在我們身上的事情，

and sometimes memory is downright creative.

而且有時候記憶是極其不切實際的。

But what if we could watch entire lives

不過要是我們能夠看見齊全的人生－

as they unfold through time?

當它們穿越時間展開來呢？

What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers

要是我們能夠研究大家 －從他們少年一路直到老朽－

all the way into old age

to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?

來看是什麼確實讓人保持幸福和健康呢？

We did that.

我們做過了！

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

哈佛大學的成年人生涯進展研究

may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

或許是前所未見最長久的 成年人生涯研究，

For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,

75 年來我們已經追查了 724 位男士的生活，

year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,

年復一年問及其工作、居家生活、健康，

and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories

當然了這一路問下來

對他們人生的故事即將如何 翻轉我們也毫不知情。

were going to turn out.

Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

像這樣的研究計畫微乎其微，

Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade

幾乎所有這種研究在十年內就破局了；

because too many people drop out of the study,

因為太多人放棄了研究，

or funding for the research dries up,

或者金援研究的資金沒了著落，

or the researchers get distracted,

或是研究負責人琵琶別抱，

or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.

或是研究負責人死亡 而且無人讓該計畫再做出進展。

But through a combination of luck

不過透過好運加上幾個世代 研究人員的堅毅，

and the persistence of several generations of researchers,

this study has survived.

這個研究並未中斷。

About 60 of our original 724 men

我們原先的 724 位男士大約有 60 人

are still alive,

仍然還活著、一直參與著這個研究，

still participating in the study,

most of them in their 90s.

他們大多都 90 多歲了，

And we are now beginning to study

而且我們現在正要開始研究

the more than 2,000 children of these men.

這些男士 2,000 多名的子女們；

And I'm the fourth director of the study.

而我是本研究的第四位主持人了。

Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.

從 1938 年來我們已經追蹤了 兩組男士的生活，

The first group started in the study

第一組當他們在哈佛大學二年級時

when they were sophomores at Harvard College.

就開始在這個研究裡；

They all finished college during World War II,

二次世界大戰期間他們全部念完大學，

and then most went off to serve in the war.

之後大多數都離家效力於戰場上。

And the second group that we've followed

第二組我們密切關注的－

was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

是一群來自波士頓最窮澀 里坊的男孩子們，

boys who were chosen for the study

被這研究選到的男孩子們

specifically because they were from some of the most troubled

特別是因為他們來自三零年代

波士頓一些最困頓和弱勢的家庭－

and disadvantaged families

in the Boston of the 1930s.

Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.

大多數住在低品質的公寓大樓， 很多人家還都沒有自來水和熱水。

When they entered the study,

當他們進入這個研究時

all of these teenagers were interviewed.

這些十來歲的孩子全都有 接受採訪、做健康檢查、

They were given medical exams.

We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.

我們去到他們家採訪其雙親。

And then these teenagers grew up into adults

然後這些青少年長大成人 進入社會各階層，

who entered all walks of life.

They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,

他們成了工廠工人、律師、 泥水匠、醫師，

one President of the United States.

以及一位美國總統。

Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.

有的人染上酒癮、 偶有人罹患精神分裂症、

Some climbed the social ladder

有一些從社會底層 攀越社會梯階一路飛黃騰達、

from the bottom all the way to the very top,

and some made that journey in the opposite direction.

有些人則背道而馳了。

The founders of this study

這個研究的發起人們絕對意想不到

would never in their wildest dreams

－即便最狂縱的夢想中－

have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,

75 年後的今天我會站在這裡，

telling you that the study still continues.

正在告訴你們這個研究仍然未中斷。

Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff

每兩年我們有耐性 跟認真賣力的研究人手

calls up our men and asks them if we can send them

致電給我們的研究對象，

問說我們是否能再寄送給他們 一份有關他們生活的問卷。

yet one more set of questions about their lives.

Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

許多波士頓化外之地的受訪者問我們：

"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."

「為什麼你一直想研究我？ 我的人生一點就是不精采呀！」；

The Harvard men never ask that question.

哈佛大學的受訪者們從未問過該問題。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

To get the clearest picture of these lives,

為了取得這些人生最清楚的寫照，

we don't just send them questionnaires.

我們不只是寄送給他們問券；

We interview them in their living rooms.

我們在他們家的客廳做訪談、

We get their medical records from their doctors.

從他們的醫生那裡取得病歷、

We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

跟他們抽血和做腦部掃描、

we talk to their children.

跟他們的子女聊、

We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.

拍攝下他們跟老婆談論最憂心的事情。

And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives

然後大約在 10 年前 到頭來我們問了他們的老婆：

if they would join us as members of the study,

「妳們是否會參與我們 作為研究受訪者成員呢？」；

many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."

許多婦女說：「也該是時候了啦！」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

So what have we learned?

所以我們學到什麼了呢？

What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages

從數萬頁的資料－我們已經從 這些人生中收集到－

of information that we've generated

裡面有何前車之鑑呢？

on these lives?

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

此前車之鑑與財富、名氣、 賣命工作無關，

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:

我們從這個 75 年的研究裡得到 最明確的訊息是這個：

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

「良好的關係在其期間內 讓我們保持更幸福、健康！」。

We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

我們已經學到關於關係的 三大前車之鑑：

The first is that social connections are really good for us,

第一個是人際聯繫確實對我們是好的，

and that loneliness kills.

而孤獨是要命的。

It turns out that people who are more socially connected

最終發現與家庭、朋友、社群

to family, to friends, to community,

較有人際聯繫的人是較為幸福、

are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer

身體比較健康的，

而且比起聯繫沒那麼好的人活得較長久。

than people who are less well connected.

And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.

孤獨的經歷結果發現到是非常折磨人的，

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others

比起自己所設想與外人更無牽扯的人

find that they are less happy,

察覺到他們比較不幸福，

their health declines earlier in midlife,

他們在中年時健康較早下滑、

their brain functioning declines sooner

腦功能下滑更快，

and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

比起不孤獨的人他們比較短命。

And the sad fact is that at any given time,

令人遺憾的事實是在任何時間點

more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

多過 1/5 的美國人會白紙黑字 說他們是孤單的！

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd

我們知道你們有可能在人群裡、

and you can be lonely in a marriage,

一段婚姻中是孤單的，

so the second big lesson that we learned

所以第二個我們學到的前車之鑑則是：

is that it's not just the number of friends you have,

不只是你擁有的朋友人數、

and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,

無關你到底是否正投入 在一段感情之中，

but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

你的品質才重要。

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.

結果發現到生活在相爭不讓下 對我們的健康實在是不好，

High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,

例如沒有太多的情愛、時常爭吵的婚姻

turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.

結果發現對我們的健康是非常不好的， 或許比起離婚還要更糟糕。

And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

而生活在良好、溫暖的 關係之中是受到保護的。

Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,

自從我們密切關注完我們的受訪 男士們一路直到他們 80 多歲，

we wanted to look back at them at midlife

我們想要回過頭來看中年時的他們，

and to see if we could predict

來看我們是否能夠預知

who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian

誰將會邁入幸福、健康的八旬之年，

and who wasn't.

以及誰就不是這樣了。

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them

當我們備齊在他們五十歲時 我們已知的每一項東西，

at age 50,

it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels

並非是他們中年的膽固醇水準

that predicted how they were going to grow old.

預知他們即將如何變老；

It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.

是他們對於自己的關係有多滿意－

The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50

在 50 歲最滿意人際關係的人，

were the healthiest at age 80.

在 80 歲時是最健康的。

And good, close relationships seem to buffer us

良好、親密的關係看似舒緩了 我們不住變老的大小打擊變故，

from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.

Our most happily partnered men and women

我們最樂於有人相伴的男士與婦女們指出

reported, in their 80s,

－在他們 80 幾歲較多病痛的日子裡

that on the days when they had more physical pain,

their mood stayed just as happy.

他們的心情維持就是一樣幸福；

But the people who were in unhappy relationships,

不過處於不幸福之關係的人，

on the days when they reported more physical pain,

在該期間他們說有較多的病痛－

it was magnified by more emotional pain.

病痛因情緒的苦楚增烈了。

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health

還有我們學到有關關係 與健康的第三個前車之鑑就是：

is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,

「良好的關係不光保護我們的肉體，

they protect our brains.

它們還保護了我們的頭腦」。

It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship

最終結果是在你八十幾歲時

to another person in your 80s is protective,

與另一個人處於 安穩依靠的關係是有保護的，

that the people who are in relationships

處於確實覺得需要的時候

where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,

可以仰賴另一方之關係的人，

those people's memories stay sharper longer.

那些人的記憶力維持較明晰、更久遠；

And the people in relationships

處於感到無法仰賴另一方之關係的人，

where they feel they really can't count on the other one,

those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

那些人蒙受比較早的記憶力衰退。

And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.

而那些良好的關係 不必隨時隨地都很融洽；

Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other

有些我們的八旬夫妻們可能 日復一日與彼此在小事上爭執，

day in and day out,

but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other

但是就跟他們覺得可以真的在日益險峻的 情勢中仰賴另一方的時候般長久，

when the going got tough,

those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.

這些爭端無損於他們的記憶力！

So this message,

所以這則訊息：

that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,

「良好、親密的關係對 我們的健康與福分是有益的」，

this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

這是由來已久的智慧，

Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?

為什麼該訊息如此難得 卻又這麼容易輕忽掉呢？

Well, we're human.

這麼說吧－我們是人類！

What we'd really like is a quick fix,

我們真正喜歡的東西是便宜之計，

something we can get

某種我們可以到手

that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.

會使得我們的生活變好 以及保持下去的東西；

Relationships are messy and they're complicated

人際關係棘手又複雜，

and the hard work of tending to family and friends,

以及要留心家人 與朋友這等不輕鬆的事情，

it's not sexy or glamorous.

這檔事並不迷人或扣人心弦，

It's also lifelong. It never ends.

它還是一生長久的事情、永遠沒完沒了。

The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement

在我們長達 75 年的研究裡 退休後最快活的受訪人

were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

是積極地用新玩伴取代同事的受訪人們。

Just like the millennials in that recent survey,

就像千禧世代在最近的調查，

many of our men when they were starting out as young adults

許多我們的受訪人當他們身為 未成氣候的成年人開始出社會時

really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement

確實曾深信「名氣、財富與高成就」

were what they needed to go after to have a good life.

是他們為了要有美好的人生需要追求的。

But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown

但是長達這 75 年來我們的 研究接二連三呈現出

that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,

過日子過得最好的受訪人

是傾重於與家人、朋友、社群 人際關係的人。

with family, with friends, with community.

So what about you?

那麼你又如何呢？

Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.

假定說你是 25 歲、40 歲、60 歲吧，

What might leaning in to relationships even look like?

傾重於人與人的關係會是如何的呢？

Well, the possibilities are practically endless.

可能性幾乎是無限大的，

It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time

它也許是如同以真人來取代 螢幕的時間般簡單的一些事，

or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,

或共同做些新鮮事來為 了無新意的關係增添幾分顏色－

long walks or date nights,

長行漫步或是夜間約會。

or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years,

或是找上你已好幾年 沒講過話的家庭成員；

because those all-too-common family feuds

因為那些司空見慣的家庭紛擾

take a terrible toll

在放不下嫌隙之人的身上 造成嚴重的損害。

on the people who hold the grudges.

I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.

我想要帶著馬克．吐溫的 一句引言來收尾，

More than a century ago,

100 多年前他在回顧人生的當下，

he was looking back on his life,

and he wrote this:

他寫下這引言：

"There isn't time, so brief is life,

「生命如此短暫，我們沒有時間

for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account.

添進吵鬧、辯解、怒火中燒、克盡職志；

There is only time for loving,

時間僅是用來愛人，

and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

不過稍縱即逝， 看在愛的份上就說出來。」

The good life is built with good relationships.

好樣的人生建立在良好的人際關係上！

Thank you.

謝謝大家！

(Applause)

（掌聲）