Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

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2016-01-25 ・ TED


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Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

26,827,654 views ・ 2016-01-25

TED


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Translator: Nejc Jelen Reviewer: Nika Kotnik
00:12
What keeps us healthy and happy
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Kaj nas ohranja zdrave in srečne
00:15
as we go through life?
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ko gremo skozi življenje?
00:18
If you were going to invest now
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Če bi ta trenutek investirali
00:21
in your future best self,
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v najboljšega sebe v prihodnosti,
00:23
where would you put your time and your energy?
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kam bi vložili svoj čas in energijo?
00:27
There was a recent survey of millennials
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Nedavno so anketirali generacijo Y
00:29
asking them what their most important life goals were,
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z vprašanjem, kaj so njihovi najbolj pomembni cilji v življenju,
00:34
and over 80 percent said
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in več kot 80-odstotkov jih je reklo,
00:36
that a major life goal for them was to get rich.
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da je njihov glavni življenjski cilj to, da postanejo bogati.
00:40
And another 50 percent of those same young adults
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Prav tako je 50-odstotkov teh mladih odraslih
00:45
said that another major life goal
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reklo, da je drug pomemben življenjski cilj to,
00:47
was to become famous.
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da postanejo slavni.
00:50
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
00:52
And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder
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Nenehno nam govorijo, da moramo še bolj delati, se še bolj gnati
00:58
and achieve more.
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in še več doseči.
01:00
We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after
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Dobivamo vtis, da so to tiste stvari, za katerimi moramo iti,
01:04
in order to have a good life.
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da bomo imeli dobro življenje.
01:06
Pictures of entire lives,
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Slike celotnih življenj,
01:08
of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,
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odločitev, ki jih ljudje sprejemajo in kako se jim te odločitve obrestujejo,
01:13
those pictures are almost impossible to get.
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te slike je skoraj nemogoče dobiti.
01:18
Most of what we know about human life
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Večino, kar vemo o človeškem življenju,
01:21
we know from asking people to remember the past,
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vemo iz tega, ko prosimo ljudi, da se spomnijo preteklosti.
01:24
and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.
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in, kot vemo, pogled nazaj še zdaleč ni 20/20.
01:29
We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,
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Pozabimo ogromno, kar se nam je zgodilo v življenju,
01:33
and sometimes memory is downright creative.
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včasih pa je spomin tudi naravnost kreativen.
01:36
But what if we could watch entire lives
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Ampak, kaj če bi lahko gledali celotna življenja,
01:41
as they unfold through time?
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medtem, ko se odvijajo skozi čas?
01:44
What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers
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Kaj če bi lahko preučevali ljudi od časa, ko so bili najstniki,
01:48
all the way into old age
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vse do starih let,
01:50
to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?
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da bi lahko videli, kaj v resnici dela ljudi srečne in zdrave?
01:55
We did that.
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To smo naredili.
01:57
The Harvard Study of Adult Development
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Harvardska raziskava odraslega razvoja
01:59
may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.
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je morda najdaljša študija odraslega življenja, ki je bila kdajkoli narejena.
02:05
For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,
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Že 75 let sledimo življenju 724 moških
02:13
year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,
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in jih leto za letom sprašujemo o njihovem delu, življenju doma in zdravju.
02:17
and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories
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Seveda v vsem tem času nismo vedeli, kako se bodo njihove življenjske zgodbe
02:22
were going to turn out.
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obrnile.
02:25
Studies like this are exceedingly rare.
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Raziskave, kot je ta, so izjemno redke.
02:28
Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade
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Skoraj vsi projekti te vrste propadejo v enem desetletju,
02:33
because too many people drop out of the study,
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ker preveč ljudi izstopi iz raziskave,
02:36
or funding for the research dries up,
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ali se preneha financiranje raziskave,
02:39
or the researchers get distracted,
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ali raziskovalci študijo opustijo,
02:41
or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.
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ali umrejo in raziskave nihče ne nadaljuje.
02:46
But through a combination of luck
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Vendar je s kombinacijo sreče
02:48
and the persistence of several generations of researchers,
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in vztrajnosti več generacij raziskovalcev
02:52
this study has survived.
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ta raziskava preživela.
02:54
About 60 of our original 724 men
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Okrog 60 od prvotnih 724 moških
02:59
are still alive,
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je še vedno živih
03:00
still participating in the study,
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in še vedno sodelujejo v raziskavi,
03:02
most of them in their 90s.
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in večina jih je v 90. letu starosti.
03:05
And we are now beginning to study
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Sedaj začenjamo raziskovati
03:07
the more than 2,000 children of these men.
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več kot 2000 otrok teh moških.
03:11
And I'm the fourth director of the study.
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Jaz sem četrti direktor te raziskave.
03:15
Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.
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Od leta 1938 smo sledili življenju dveh skupin moških.
03:20
The first group started in the study
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Prva skupina je začela z raziskavo
03:22
when they were sophomores at Harvard College.
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ko so bili študenti na Univerzi Harvard.
03:25
They all finished college during World War II,
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Med 2. svetovno vojno so vsi dokočali študij
03:27
and then most went off to serve in the war.
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in večina jih je šla v vojno.
03:31
And the second group that we've followed
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Druga skupina, ki smo ji sledili,
03:33
was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,
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je bila skupina fantov iz najrevnejših predelov Bostona,
03:37
boys who were chosen for the study
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fantov, ki so bili za raziskavo izbrani
03:39
specifically because they were from some of the most troubled
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posebej zato, ker so bili iz nekaterih najbolj težavnih
03:43
and disadvantaged families
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in zapostavljenih družin
03:44
in the Boston of the 1930s.
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v Bostonu v 1930-tih.
03:47
Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.
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Večina jih je živela v najemu, mnogi brez tekoče tople in hladne vode.
03:54
When they entered the study,
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Ko so vstopili v raziskavo,
03:56
all of these teenagers were interviewed.
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si bili vsi ti najstniki intervjuvani.
03:59
They were given medical exams.
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Opravili so zdravniške preglede.
04:01
We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.
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Šli smo k njim domov in intervjuvali njihove starše.
04:05
And then these teenagers grew up into adults
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Potem so ti najstniki zrasli v odrasle ljudi,
04:07
who entered all walks of life.
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ki so vstopi v vse družbene sloje.
04:10
They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,
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Postali so tovarniški delavci, odvetniki, zidarji, zdravniki
04:16
one President of the United States.
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in eden predsednik Združenih držav.
04:20
Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.
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Nekateri so postali alkoholiki. Nekaj jih je razvilo shizofrenijo.
04:25
Some climbed the social ladder
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Nekateri so se povzpeli na socialni lestvi
04:27
from the bottom all the way to the very top,
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od dna, vse do samega vrha
04:30
and some made that journey in the opposite direction.
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in nekateri so to pot opravili v nasprotni smeri.
04:35
The founders of this study
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Ustanovitelji te raziskave
04:38
would never in their wildest dreams
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si niti v najbolj divjih sanjah
04:40
have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,
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niso predstavljali, da bom jaz danes stal tu, 75 let pozneje,
04:45
telling you that the study still continues.
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in vam pripovedoval, da raziskava še vedno poteka.
04:49
Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff
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Vsaki dve leti naši potrpežljivi in predani raziskovalci
04:52
calls up our men and asks them if we can send them
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pokličejo te moške in jih vprašajo, če jim lahko pošljemo
04:56
yet one more set of questions about their lives.
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še eno polo vprašanj o njihovih življenjih.
05:00
Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,
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Veliko moških iz Bostona nas vpraša:
05:03
"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."
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"Zakaj me še vedno preučujete? Moje življenje sploh ni tako zanimivo."
05:08
The Harvard men never ask that question.
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Moški iz Harvarda tega nikoli ne vprašajo.
05:11
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:20
To get the clearest picture of these lives,
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Da bi lahko dobili najbolj jasno sliko njihovih življenj,
05:23
we don't just send them questionnaires.
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jim ne pošljemo samo vprašalnikov.
05:26
We interview them in their living rooms.
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Intervjujamo jih v njihovih dnevnih sobah.
05:29
We get their medical records from their doctors.
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Pridobimo njihove zdravniške kartoteke.
05:32
We draw their blood, we scan their brains,
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Vzamemo jim kri, skeniramo jim možgane
05:34
we talk to their children.
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in govorimo z njihovimi otroci.
05:36
We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.
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Snemamo jih, ko se s soprogami pogovarjajo o svojih najglobljih skrbeh.
05:41
And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives
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Ko smo pred desetletjem končno vprašali njihove žene,
05:45
if they would join us as members of the study,
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če bi se nam pridružile v raziskavi,
05:47
many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."
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jih je veliko reklo: "Veste, bi bil že skrajni čas."
05:50
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:51
So what have we learned?
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Kaj smo se torej naučili?
05:53
What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages
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Kaj so lekcije, ki izhajajo iz več deset tisoč strani
05:58
of information that we've generated
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informacij, ki smo jih zbrali
06:01
on these lives?
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o teh življenjih?
06:03
Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.
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Torej, lekcije niso o bogastvu ali slavi ali garanju več in bolj.
06:10
The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:
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Najbolj jasno sporočilo, ki ga dobimo iz te 75 letne raziskave je to:
06:16
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.
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Dobri odnosi nas ohranjajo srečne in zdrave. Pika.
06:23
We've learned three big lessons about relationships.
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Naučili smo se tri velike lekcije o odnosih.
06:26
The first is that social connections are really good for us,
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Prva je, da so družbene vezi za nas resnično dobre
06:30
and that loneliness kills.
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in da osamljenost ubija.
06:33
It turns out that people who are more socially connected
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Izkazalo se je, da so ljudje, ki so bolj povezani
06:37
to family, to friends, to community,
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z družino, prijatelji in skupnostjo,
06:40
are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer
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bolj srečni, bolj fizično zdravi in živijo dlje,
06:45
than people who are less well connected.
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kot ljudje, ki niso tako povezani.
06:48
And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.
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Doživljanje samote se je izkazalo za strupeno.
06:51
People who are more isolated than they want to be from others
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Ljudje, ki so od drugih bolj izolirani, kot si želijo,
06:57
find that they are less happy,
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so manj srečni,
07:00
their health declines earlier in midlife,
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njihovo zdravje upade prej,
07:03
their brain functioning declines sooner
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prej upade delovanje možganov
07:05
and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.
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in živijo krajša življenja kot ljudje, ki niso osamljeni.
07:10
And the sad fact is that at any given time,
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Žalostno dejstvo je, da se v vsakem trenutku
07:13
more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.
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več kot eden izmed petih Američanov počuti osamljenega.
07:19
And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd
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In vemo, da si lahko osamljen tudi v množici
07:21
and you can be lonely in a marriage,
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in da si lahko osamljen v zakonu,
07:24
so the second big lesson that we learned
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zato je druga velika naučena lekcija ta,
07:26
is that it's not just the number of friends you have,
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da ni pomembno samo to, koliko prijateljev imamo
07:29
and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,
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in to ali smo ali nismo v partnerskem odnosu,
07:33
but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.
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ampak je kvaliteta naših bližnjih odnosov tista, ki šteje.
07:38
It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.
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Izkaže se, da je živeti v konfliktu resnično slabo za naše zdravje.
07:43
High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,
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Zelo konfliktne zakonske zveze, ki so brez naklonjenosti,
07:47
turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.
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so zelo slabe za naše zdravje, mogoče še slabše, kot ločitev.
07:53
And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
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Živeti v dobrem, toplem partnerskem odnosu je varovalno.
07:57
Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,
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Ko smo sledili našim moškim vse v njihova 80-ta
08:01
we wanted to look back at them at midlife
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smo pogledali nazaj v njihova srednja leta,
08:04
and to see if we could predict
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da bi videli, če lahko napovemo,
08:05
who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian
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kdo bo odrasel v srečnega in zdravega osemdesetletnika
08:09
and who wasn't.
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in kdo ne bo.
08:11
And when we gathered together everything we knew about them
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Ko smo zbrali skupaj vse, kar smo vedeli o njih
08:15
at age 50,
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pri njihovih 50-tih,
08:18
it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels
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ni bila raven holesterola tista,
08:20
that predicted how they were going to grow old.
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ki je predvidela, kako bodo ostareli.
08:23
It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.
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Bilo je to, kako zadovoljni so v svojih odnosih.
08:27
The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50
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Ljudje, ki so bili najbolj zadovoljni v svojih odnosih pri 50-tih,
08:31
were the healthiest at age 80.
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so bili najbolj zdravi pri 80-tih.
08:35
And good, close relationships seem to buffer us
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Kaže, da nas dobri in tesni odnosi varujejo
08:38
from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.
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pred nekaterimi tegobami staranja.
08:42
Our most happily partnered men and women
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Moški in ženske v najbolj srečnih partnerskih odnosih
08:46
reported, in their 80s,
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so v svojih 80-tih poročali,
08:48
that on the days when they had more physical pain,
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da je bilo v dnevih, ko so imeli več fizičnih bolečin,
08:51
their mood stayed just as happy.
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njihovo razpoloženje enako srečno.
08:54
But the people who were in unhappy relationships,
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Ljudje, ki pa so bili v nesrečnih odnosih,
08:57
on the days when they reported more physical pain,
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so v dnevih, ko so poročali o večji fizični bolečini,
09:00
it was magnified by more emotional pain.
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je bila ta še povečana z večjo čustveno bolečino.
09:04
And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health
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Tretja velika lekcija, ki smo se jo naučili o naših odnosih in zdravju,
09:08
is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,
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je ta, da dobri odnosi ne ščitijo samo naših teles,
09:12
they protect our brains.
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ščitijo tudi naše možgane.
09:14
It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship
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Izkaže se, da varen povezan partnerski odnos
09:19
to another person in your 80s is protective,
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deluje zaščitno
09:23
that the people who are in relationships
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za osebi, ki sta v tem odnosu,
09:25
where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,
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kjer resnično čutita, da se v stiski lahko zaneseta drug na drugega.
09:29
those people's memories stay sharper longer.
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Spomini teh ljudi ostanejo ostri dlje časa.
09:32
And the people in relationships
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Ljudje v partnerskih odnosih,
09:34
where they feel they really can't count on the other one,
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ki čutijo, da se ne morejo zanesti na drugega,
09:37
those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.
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izkusijo zgodnejši upad spomina.
09:42
And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.
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Ni potrebno, da so dobri partnerski odnosi ves čas gladki.
09:46
Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other
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Nekateri naši 80-letni pari so se lahko pričkali
09:49
day in and day out,
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dan za dnem,
09:51
but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other
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vendar, če so čutili, da se lahko res zanesejo na drugega,
09:54
when the going got tough,
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ko pridejo težki časi,
09:56
those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.
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ta prerekanja niso terjala davka na njihove spomine.
10:01
So this message,
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Torej je to sporočilo,
10:04
that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,
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da so dobri in tesni odnosi dobri za naše zdravje in dobro počutje,
10:10
this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.
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modrost, ki je tako stara, kot svet.
10:13
Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?
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Zakaj je to tako težko dojeti in tako zlahka spregledati?
10:17
Well, we're human.
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No, smo pač ljudje.
10:19
What we'd really like is a quick fix,
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Hočemo hitre rešitve,
10:21
something we can get
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nekaj, kar lahko dobimo,
10:23
that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.
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kar bo naredilo naša življenja dobra in jih taka ohranila.
10:27
Relationships are messy and they're complicated
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Odnosi so neurejeni in komplicirani
10:30
and the hard work of tending to family and friends,
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in težko delo negovanja družinskih in prijateljskih vezi,
10:34
it's not sexy or glamorous.
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ni seksi ali glamurozno.
10:37
It's also lifelong. It never ends.
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Je tudi vseživljenjsko. Nikoli se ne konča.
10:40
The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement
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Ljudje v naši 75-letni študiji, ki so bili v upokojitvi najsrečnejši,
10:45
were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.
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so bili ljudje, ki so si poiskali zamenjavo za sodelavce.
10:51
Just like the millennials in that recent survey,
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Kot generacija Y v tisti nedavni raziskavi,
so številni naši moški v začetku odraslega življenja
10:54
many of our men when they were starting out as young adults
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10:58
really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement
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resnično verjeli, da so slava, bogastvo in visoki dosežki,
11:02
were what they needed to go after to have a good life.
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tisto, za čimer morajo iti, da bodo imeli dobro življenje.
11:06
But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown
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Vendar je znova in znova v teh 75-letih naša raziskava pokazala,
11:10
that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,
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da so ljudje, ki so se odrezali najbolje tisti, ki so se nagibali k odnosom
z družino, prijatelji in skupnostjo.
11:16
with family, with friends, with community.
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11:21
So what about you?
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Torej, kaj pa vi?
11:23
Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.
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Recimo, da ste stari 25, 40 ali 60 let.
11:27
What might leaning in to relationships even look like?
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Kako naj bi nagibanje k odnosom sploh izgledalo?
11:31
Well, the possibilities are practically endless.
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Možnost so skoraj neskončne.
11:35
It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time
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Lahko je tako preprosto kot zamenjati čas pred TV-jem z druženjem
11:41
or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,
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ali poživitev zastalega odnosa, s tem, da skupaj naredite nekaj novega,
11:46
long walks or date nights,
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dolgi sprehodi ali večerni zmenki,
11:49
or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years,
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ali kontaktirati družinskega člana, s katerim niste spregovorili že leta,
11:54
because those all-too-common family feuds
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zaradi teh vse preveč običajnih družinskih razprtij,
11:57
take a terrible toll
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ki terjajo strašen davek
12:00
on the people who hold the grudges.
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od ljudi, ki se oklepajo zamer.
12:04
I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.
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Rad bi zaključil s citatom Marka Twaina.
12:09
More than a century ago,
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Pred več kot stoletjem
12:11
he was looking back on his life,
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je gledal nazaj na svoje življenje
12:14
and he wrote this:
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in zapisal naslednje:
12:16
"There isn't time, so brief is life,
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"Ni časa, tako kratko je življenje,
12:20
for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account.
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za prerekanja, opravičevanja, zgago, zagovarjanja.
12:26
There is only time for loving,
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Je samo čas za ljubezen,
12:29
and but an instant, so to speak, for that."
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in samo trenutek, takorekoč, za to."
12:34
The good life is built with good relationships.
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Dobro življenje je zgrajeno z dobrimi odnosi.
12:39
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
12:40
(Applause)
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(Aplavz)
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