Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness | TED

Translator: Carme Paz Reviewer: Xusto Rodriguez

What keeps us healthy and happy

Que é o que nos mantén con saúde e felices

as we go through life?

durante a vida?

If you were going to invest now

Se tivésedes que investir agora

in your future best self,

no voso mellor futuro,

where would you put your time and your energy?

onde poñeriades o voso tempo e a vosa enerxía?

There was a recent survey of millennials

Unha enquisa recente á xeración do milenio

asking them what their most important life goals were,

preguntoulles cales eran as metas máis importantes na súa vida,

and over 80 percent said

e máis do 80 % dixo

that a major life goal for them was to get rich.

que unha meta importante era facerse ricos.

And another 50 percent of those same young adults

E outro 50 % deses mesmos adultos novos

said that another major life goal

dixo que outra meta importante

was to become famous.

era ser famosos.

(Laughter)

(Risos)

And we're constantly told to lean in to work, to push harder

E dísenos constantemente que traballemos máis, que nos esforcemos

and achieve more.

para acadar máis logros.

We're given the impression that these are the things that we need to go after

Dános a impresión de que debemos perseguir estas cousas

in order to have a good life.

para ter unha boa vida.

Pictures of entire lives,

As imaxes de vidas enteiras,

of the choices that people make and how those choices work out for them,

das decisións que toma a xente, e o resultado desas decisións

those pictures are almost impossible to get.

son case imposibles de obter.

Most of what we know about human life

Gran parte do que sabemos da vida

we know from asking people to remember the past,

sabémolo pedíndolle á xente que lembre o seu pasado.

and as we know, hindsight is anything but 20/20.

E, como sabemos, a retrospectiva é todo menos rigorosa.

We forget vast amounts of what happens to us in life,

Esquecemos grandes fragmentos do que nos ocorre na vida,

and sometimes memory is downright creative.

e, ás veces, a memoria é francamente creativa.

But what if we could watch entire lives

Pero, e se puidésemos ver vidas enteiras

as they unfold through time?

conforme se desenvolven no tempo?

What if we could study people from the time that they were teenagers

E se puidésemos estudar as persoas desde a adolescencia

all the way into old age

ata a vellez

to see what really keeps people happy and healthy?

para ver que mantén a xente feliz e saudable?

We did that.

Fixémolo.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development

O Estudo de Desenvolvemento Adulto de Harvard

may be the longest study of adult life that's ever been done.

pode que sexa o estudo máis longo sobre a vida adulta na historia.

For 75 years, we've tracked the lives of 724 men,

Durante 75 anos, rastrexamos a vida de 724 homes,

year after year, asking about their work, their home lives, their health,

ano tras ano, preguntámoslles sobre o seu traballo, a vida doméstica, a saúde,

and of course asking all along the way without knowing how their life stories

e, claro, preguntando todo ese tempo sen saber

como resultarían as súas historias de vida.

were going to turn out.

Studies like this are exceedingly rare.

Estudos coma este son moi raros.

Almost all projects of this kind fall apart within a decade

Case todos os proxectos deste tipo véñense abaixo nunha década

because too many people drop out of the study,

porque moitas persoas abandonan o estudo

or funding for the research dries up,

ou os fondos da investigación rematan

or the researchers get distracted,

ou os investigadores perden o interese

or they die, and nobody moves the ball further down the field.

ou morren, e ninguén continúa a investigación.

But through a combination of luck

Pero, grazas a unha combinación de sorte

and the persistence of several generations of researchers,

e á perseveranza de varias xeracións de investigadores,

this study has survived.

este estudo sobreviviu.

About 60 of our original 724 men

Uns 60 dos 724 homes orixinais

are still alive,

aínda están vivos,

still participating in the study,

e aínda participan no estudo,

most of them in their 90s.

a maioría deles andan polos 90 anos.

And we are now beginning to study

E agora imos comezar a estudar

the more than 2,000 children of these men.

máis de 2000 fillos deses homes.

And I'm the fourth director of the study.

E eu son o cuarto director do estudo.

Since 1938, we've tracked the lives of two groups of men.

Desde 1938, rastrexamos as vidas de dous grupos de homes.

The first group started in the study

O primeiro grupo comezou no estudo

when they were sophomores at Harvard College.

sendo alumnos de segundo ano na Universidade de Harvard.

They all finished college during World War II,

Todos remataron a universidade durante a II Guerra Mundial

and then most went off to serve in the war.

e, despois, a maioría participou na Guerra.

And the second group that we've followed

O segundo grupo que seguimos

was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods,

foi un grupo de rapaces dos barrios máis pobres de Boston,

boys who were chosen for the study

rapaces que se elixiron para o estudo

specifically because they were from some of the most troubled

especificamente porque proviñan dalgunhas das familias

and disadvantaged families

máis problemáticas e desfavorecidas

in the Boston of the 1930s.

do Boston dos anos 30.

Most lived in tenements, many without hot and cold running water.

A maioría vivía en barracas, moitos sen auga corrente.

When they entered the study,

Cando comezaron o estudo,

all of these teenagers were interviewed.

todos estes adolescentes foron entrevistados.

They were given medical exams.

Fixéronlles exames médicos.

We went to their homes and we interviewed their parents.

Fomos ás súas casas e entrevistamos os seus pais.

And then these teenagers grew up into adults

Despois estes adolescentes chegaron a ser adultos

who entered all walks of life.

que seguiron camiños diversos na vida.

They became factory workers and lawyers and bricklayers and doctors,

Foron operarios de fábrica, avogados, albaneis, médicos,

one President of the United States.

un foi presidente de EE.UU.

Some developed alcoholism. A few developed schizophrenia.

Algúns sufriron alcoholismo. Outros poucos sufriron esquizofrenia.

Some climbed the social ladder

Algúns subiron na escala social

from the bottom all the way to the very top,

desde a base ata o cumio,

and some made that journey in the opposite direction.

e outros foron en sentido contrario.

The founders of this study

Os fundadores deste estudo

would never in their wildest dreams

nin nas súas fantasías máis tolas

have imagined that I would be standing here today, 75 years later,

imaxinarían que eu estaría hoxe aquí, 75 anos despois,

telling you that the study still continues.

contándovos que o estudo continúa.

Every two years, our patient and dedicated research staff

Cada dous anos, o noso entregado e paciente persoal de investigación

calls up our men and asks them if we can send them

chama estes homes e pregúntalles se podemos enviarlles

yet one more set of questions about their lives.

outra serie de preguntas sobre as súas vidas.

Many of the inner city Boston men ask us,

Moitos dos homes de Boston pregúntannos:

"Why do you keep wanting to study me? My life just isn't that interesting."

"Por que queren seguir estudándome? A miña vida xa non é interesante."

The Harvard men never ask that question.

Os homes de Harvard nunca fan esta pregunta.

(Laughter)

(Risos)

To get the clearest picture of these lives,

Para obter a imaxe máis clara destas vidas,

we don't just send them questionnaires.

non só lles enviamos cuestionarios.

We interview them in their living rooms.

Entrevistámolos nos seus salóns.

We get their medical records from their doctors.

Conseguimos as súas historias clínicas.

We draw their blood, we scan their brains,

Extraémoslles sangue, escaneamos os seus cerebros,

we talk to their children.

falamos cos seus fillos.

We videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns.

Gravamos as conversas coas súas esposas sobre as súas preocupacións.

And when, about a decade ago, we finally asked the wives

E cando, hai unha década, lles preguntamos ás esposas

if they would join us as members of the study,

se querían sumarse como membros do estudo,

many of the women said, "You know, it's about time."

moitas mulleres dixeron: "Vaia, xa era hora".

(Laughter)

(Risos)

So what have we learned?

Que aprendemos?

What are the lessons that come from the tens of thousands of pages

Que leccións xorden das decenas de miles de páxinas

of information that we've generated

de información que xeramos

on these lives?

sobre estas vidas?

Well, the lessons aren't about wealth or fame or working harder and harder.

Ben, as leccións non teñen que ver con riqueza, fama nin con traballar moito.

The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this:

A mensaxe máis clara destes 75 anos de estudo é esta:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

As boas relacións fannos máis felices e saudables. Punto.

We've learned three big lessons about relationships.

Aprendemos tres cousas sobre as relacións.

The first is that social connections are really good for us,

A primeira é que as conexións sociais fannos ben,

and that loneliness kills.

e que a soidade mata.

It turns out that people who are more socially connected

Resulta que as persoas con máis vínculos sociais

to family, to friends, to community,

coa familia, os amigos, a comunidade,

are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer

son máis felices, máis sas e viven máis

than people who are less well connected.

que as persoas que teñen menos vínculos.

And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic.

E experimentar soidade resulta ser tóxico.

People who are more isolated than they want to be from others

As persoas que están máis illadas do que quererían doutras persoas

find that they are less happy,

atópanse menos felices,

their health declines earlier in midlife,

a súa saúde empeora antes na mediana idade,

their brain functioning declines sooner

as súas funcións cerebrais decaen máis axiña

and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

e viven menos que as persoas que non están soas.

And the sad fact is that at any given time,

E o triste é que, en calquera momento,

more than one in five Americans will report that they're lonely.

máis dun de cada cinco estadounidenses informarán de que están sós.

And we know that you can be lonely in a crowd

E sabemos que podemos estar sós na multitude

and you can be lonely in a marriage,

e podemos estar sós nun matrimonio,

so the second big lesson that we learned

por iso a segunda gran lección que aprendemos

is that it's not just the number of friends you have,

é que non ten que ver coa cantidade de amigos que temos,

and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship,

tampouco con que esteamos nunha relación,

but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.

o que importa é a calidade das relacións máis próximas.

It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health.

Resulta que vivir no medio de conflitos é moi malo para a saúde.

High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection,

Os matrimonios moi conflitivos, por exemplo, sen moito afecto,

turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced.

resultan ser moi malos para a saúde, quizais peores que o divorcio.

And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.

E vivir en medio de relacións boas e cálidas protéxenos.

Once we had followed our men all the way into their 80s,

Cando os nosos homes chegaron aos oitenta e tantos,

we wanted to look back at them at midlife

quixemos analizar como foi a súa mediana idade

and to see if we could predict

para ver se podiamos predicir

who was going to grow into a happy, healthy octogenarian

quen se convertería nun octoxenario feliz e saudable

and who wasn't.

e quen non.

And when we gathered together everything we knew about them

E cando recollemos todo o que non sabiamos deles

at age 50,

aos seus 50 anos,

it wasn't their middle age cholesterol levels

non foron os niveis de colesterol da mediana idade

that predicted how they were going to grow old.

os que predixeron como envellecerían.

It was how satisfied they were in their relationships.

Foi o grao de satisfacción que tiñan nas súas relacións.

The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50

As persoas máis satisfeitas coas súas relacións aos 50 anos

were the healthiest at age 80.

foron as máis saudables aos 80 anos.

And good, close relationships seem to buffer us

E as boas relacións próximas parecen suavizar

from some of the slings and arrows of getting old.

algúns dos achaques da vellez.

Our most happily partnered men and women

Os nosos homes e mulleres en parella máis felices

reported, in their 80s,

informaron, aos seus oitenta e tantos,

that on the days when they had more physical pain,

de que cando sentían máis dor física

their mood stayed just as happy.

seguían sendo igual de felices.

But the people who were in unhappy relationships,

Pero as persoas que estaban en relacións infelices,

on the days when they reported more physical pain,

nos días que informaban de teren máis dor física,

it was magnified by more emotional pain.

esta magnificábase pola dor emocional.

And the third big lesson that we learned about relationships and our health

E a terceira gran lección que aprendemos sobre as relacións e a saúde

is that good relationships don't just protect our bodies,

é que as boas relacións non só protexen o corpo,

they protect our brains.

senón tamén o cerebro.

It turns out that being in a securely attached relationship

Resulta que ter unha relación segura de apego

to another person in your 80s is protective,

con outra persoa aos 80 e tantos dá protección,

that the people who are in relationships

que as persoas que teñen relacións

where they really feel they can count on the other person in times of need,

en que senten que poden contar coa outra persoa se o precisan,

those people's memories stay sharper longer.

teñen lembranzas máis nítidas que permanecen máis tempo.

And the people in relationships

E as persoas que teñen relacións

where they feel they really can't count on the other one,

en que senten que non poden contar coa outra persoa,

those are the people who experience earlier memory decline.

son persoas que perden antes a memoria.

And those good relationships, they don't have to be smooth all the time.

Pero as boas relacións poden non ser harmoniosas todo o tempo.

Some of our octogenarian couples could bicker with each other

Algunhas das nosas parellas octoxenarias podían pelexar

day in and day out,

de cando en vez,

but as long as they felt that they could really count on the other

pero mentres sentisen que podían contar co outro

when the going got tough,

cando as cousas ían mal

those arguments didn't take a toll on their memories.

esas pelexas non tiñan repercusións nas lembranzas.

So this message,

Pero esta mensaxe,

that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being,

de que as relacións boas e estreitas son boas para a saúde e o benestar,

this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.

é unha sabedoría vella coma o tempo.

Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore?

Por que é tan difícil de entender e tan fácil de ignorar?

Well, we're human.

Ben, somos humanos.

What we'd really like is a quick fix,

O que nos gustaría sería un apaño rápido,

something we can get

algo que poidamos facer

that'll make our lives good and keep them that way.

que nos mellore a vida e a manteña así.

Relationships are messy and they're complicated

As relacións son unha lea, son complicadas,

and the hard work of tending to family and friends,

e coidar a familia e as amizades

it's not sexy or glamorous.

non é atractivo nin glamuroso.

It's also lifelong. It never ends.

Dura toda a vida. Nunca remata.

The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement

No noso estudo de 75 anos as persoas máis felices na xubilación foron

were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates.

as que fixeron por substituír compañeiros de traballo por novos compañeiros de xogo.

Just like the millennials in that recent survey,

Como os da xeración do milenio, naquela enquisa recente,

many of our men when they were starting out as young adults

moitos dos nosos homes cando eran adultos novos

really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement

pensaban que a fama, a riqueza e os logros

were what they needed to go after to have a good life.

eran o que precisaban acadar para ter unha boa vida.

But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown

Pero unha e outra vez, nestes 75 anos, o estudo amosou

that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships,

que a xente á que lle foi mellor foi aquela que se apoiou nas relacións,

with family, with friends, with community.

coa familia, con amizades, coa comunidade.

So what about you?

Que hai de vós?

Let's say you're 25, or you're 40, or you're 60.

Digamos que tedes 25 ou 40 ou 60 anos.

What might leaning in to relationships even look like?

Que implica entregarse ás relacións?

Well, the possibilities are practically endless.

Ben, as posibilidades son ilimitadas.

It might be something as simple as replacing screen time with people time

Podería ser tan simple como pasar máis tempo con persoas que con pantallas

or livening up a stale relationship by doing something new together,

ou renovar unha relación esgotada facendo algo novo xuntos,

long walks or date nights,

camiñadas longas ou citas nocturnas,

or reaching out to that family member who you haven't spoken to in years,

ou achegarse a ese familiar que non vimos en anos,

because those all-too-common family feuds

porque esas liortas familiares tan comúns

take a terrible toll

teñen repercusións terribles

on the people who hold the grudges.

nas persoas que gardan rancores.

I'd like to close with a quote from Mark Twain.

Gustaríame rematar cunha cita de Mark Twain.

More than a century ago,

Hai máis dun século,

he was looking back on his life,

el estaba mirando cara a atrás a súa vida,

and he wrote this:

e escribiu isto:

"There isn't time, so brief is life,

"Non hai tempo, tan breve é a vida,

for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account.

para liortas, desculpas, xenreiras, peticións de contas.

There is only time for loving,

Só hai tempo para amar,

and but an instant, so to speak, for that."

e, mesmo para iso, só hai un instante."

The good life is built with good relationships.

A boa vida constrúese con boas relacións.

Thank you.

(Applause)

Grazas.

(Aplausos)