A kinder, gentler philosophy of success | Alain de Botton

Translator: Nenad Bozinovic Reviewer: Ilija Bilic

For me they normally happen, these career crises,

Za mene one se normalno dešavaju, mislim na krize u karijeri,

often, actually, on a Sunday evening,

često u nedelju uveče,

just as the sun is starting to set,

kad sunce počinje da zalazi,

and the gap between my hopes for myself and the reality of my life

i razlika između nade u budućnost

i realnosti, počinje da se povećava

starts to diverge so painfully

that I normally end up weeping into a pillow.

tako da obicno završim jecajući u jastuk.

I'm mentioning all this --

Sve ovo spominjem,

I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem;

jer mislim da ovo nije samo moj problem.

you may think I'm wrong in this,

Vi možda mislite da grešim.

but I think we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated

Ja mislim da živimo u vremenu kad naši životi

redovno upadaju u krize karijere,

by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew --

i da na momente kada mislimo da znamo,

about our lives, about our careers --

o našim zivotima, o našim karijerama,

comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.

dodjemo u kontakt sa surovom realnošću.

It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living.

Verovatno je lakše danas, nego ikada pre, da se dobro živi.

It's perhaps harder than ever before

Verovatno je mnogo teže danas nego ikada pre,

to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.

da se ostane smiren, oslobodjen od anksioznosti u karijeri.

I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons

Želeo bih da bacim pogled sada

na neke od razloga zašto

why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.

se osećamo anksioznim kad je u pitanju naša karijera.

Why we might be victims of these career crises,

Zašto postajemo žrvte tih kriza,

as we're weeping softly into our pillows.

dok tiho jecamo u naš jastuk.

One of the reasons why we might be suffering

Jedan od razloga zašto mi možda patimo

is that we are surrounded by snobs.

je zato što smo okruženi snobovima.

In a way, I've got some bad news,

Na neki način, imam lose vesti,

particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad.

naročito za svakog ko je došao u Oxford iz inostranstva.

There's a real problem with snobbery,

Tu danas postoji problem sa snobizmom.

because sometimes people from outside the U.K.

Ljudi koji nisu iz Britanije zamišljaju

imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon,

da je snobizam fenomen samo u Britaniji

fixated on country houses and titles.

vezan za kuće u prirodi i titule.

The bad news is that's not true.

Loša vest je da to nije tačno.

Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization,

Snobizam je svetski fenomen.

this is a global phenomenon.

Ovo je globalna organizacija, a to je globalni fenomen.

What is a snob?

Šta je to snob? Snob je

A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you,

svako ko na osnovu malo informacija

and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are.

zaključi sve o tebi.

That is snobbery.

To je snobizam.

The dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery.

Dominantni snobizam danas

je poslovni snobizam.

You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked

Nakon nekoliko minuta na okupljanju

vas pitaju to čuveno famozno pitanje

that famous iconic question of the early 21st century,

21. veka: "Čime se bavite?"

"What do you do?"

According to how you answer that question,

I u zavisnosti od odgovora

people are either incredibly delighted to see you,

ljudi su ili oduševljeni

or look at their watch and make their excuses.

ili nadju razlog da odu.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother.

Suprotnost jednom snobu je vaša majka.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine,

Ne baš vaša majka, ili moja,

but, as it were, the ideal mother,

ali idealna majka.

somebody who doesn't care about your achievements.

Koju ne zanimaju vaša dostignuća.

Unfortunately, most people are not our mothers.

Nažalost, ljudi nisu naše majke.

Most people make a strict correlation between how much time,

Mnogo ljudi ispoljava korelaciju izmedju koliko vremena,

and if you like, love --

pa čak i ljubavi, ako hoćete,

not romantic love, though that may be something --

ne romantične ljubavi,

but love in general, respect -- they are willing to accord us,

ali generalno poštovanja,

i spremni su da nam se posvete u skladu sa tim,

that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy.

a od toga zavisi i naš status u društvu.

And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers

I to je razlog zašto mi brinemo o karijeri.

and indeed start caring so much about material goods.

I razlog zašto počinjemo da obraćamo pažnju na materijalne stvari.

You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times,

Često cujemo da živimo u materijalnom svetu,

that we're all greedy people.

i da smo svi pohlepni.

I don't think we are particularly materialistic.

Ja ne mislim tako.

I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards

Mislim da živimo u drustvu

koje je spojilo emotivne nagrade

to the acquisition of material goods.

sa sticanjem materijalnih dobara.

It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want.

Nije novac ono sto želimo, već su to nagrade.

It's a new way of looking at luxury goods.

I to je nov način gledanja na luksuzne stvari.

The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think,

Sledeći put kad vidite nekog ko vozi Ferrari

nemojte da mislite, "Ovaj je pohlepan."

"This is somebody who's greedy."

Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love."

Mislite, "Ovo je neko ko je vrlo ranjiv i kome treba ljubav."

Odnosno, (Smeh)

(Laughter)

Feel sympathy, rather than contempt.

saosećajte se sa njima,

There are other reasons --

radije nego da ih prezirete.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before.

Postoje drugi razlozi zašto je teže danas

osećati se smirenije nego ikada pre.

One of these, and it's paradoxical,

Jedan od razloga je

because it's linked to something that's rather nice,

što se svi nadamo uspešnim karijerama.

is the hope we all have for our careers.

Never before have expectations been so high

Nikada pre očekivanja nisu bila toliko velika

about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan.

o tome šta ljudi mogu da urade u njihovom životu.

We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything.

Govore nam da svako može da postigne sve.

We've done away with the caste system,

Završili smo sa kastama.

we are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please.

Živimo u sistemu gde svako moze da dostigne

bilo koju poziciju koju zeli.

And it's a beautiful idea.

I to je lepa ideja.

Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality;

Iz toga proizilazi ideja o jednakosti. Mi smo svi faktički jednaki.

we're all basically equal.

There are no strictly defined hierarchies.

Ne postoje strikno definisane

neke vrste hijararhije.

There is one really big problem with this,

Postoji jedan veliki problem.

and that problem is envy.

A taj problem je zavist.

Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy,

Pravi je tabu spomenuti zavist,

but if there's one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy.

ali zavist je dominantna emocija u modernom društvu.

And it's linked to the spirit of equality.

I povezana je sa idejom jednakosti. Pojasniću.

Let me explain.

I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching,

Mislim da bi bilo veoma čudno,

to be envious of the Queen of England.

da zavidimo Kraljici Engleske.

Even though she is much richer than any of you are,

Iako je ona mnogo bogatija od svih nas.

and she's got a very large house,

I ima veoma veliku kuću.

the reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird.

Razlog zašto joj ne zavidimo je

(Laughter)

She's simply too strange.

što je previse čudna.

We can't relate to her, she speaks in a funny way,

Ne možemo da se poistovetimo sa njom.

she comes from an odd place.

Priča čudno.

So we can't relate to her,

A kada ne možete da se poistovetite sa nekim, ne možete da im zavidite.

and when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.

The closer two people are -- in age, in background,

Što su dvoje ljudi bliže, po godinama, po poreklu,

in the process of identification -- the more there's a danger of envy,

veća je opasnost od zavisti.

which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion,

To je razlog zašto niko od vas ne treba da ide na godišnjice mature.

Jer ne postoji jača veza nego

because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with.

izmedju ljudi koji su išli zajedno u školu.

The problem of modern society is it turns the whole world into a school.

Problem modernog drustva je da pretvara ceo svet u školu.

Everybody's wearing jeans, everybody's the same.

Svi nose farmerke, svi su jednaki,

And yet, they're not.

ali ustvari nisu.

So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality,

Postoji prividan duh jednakosti,

which can make for a very stressful situation.

zajedno sa velikim nejednakostima.

It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays

Podjednako je neverovatno da danas

become as rich and famous as Bill Gates,

postanete bogati i kao Bill Gates,

as it was unlikely in the 17th century

kao što je bilo neverovatno u 17. veku

that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy.

da postanete Francuska aristokratija.

But the point is, it doesn't feel that way.

Ali to ljudi ne osećaju.

It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets,

Ustvari mediji stvaraju osećaj,

that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage --

da ako imas energiju, nekoliko ideja o tehnologiji,

i garažu, i ti možes da započnes veliku stvar.

you, too, could start a major thing.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

The consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops.

I posledice se osećaju u knjizarama.

When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections,

u sekciji sa knjigama "kako da sami sebi pomognete".

as I sometimes do --

a ponekad ih obiđem,

if you analyze self-help books produced in the world today,

i ako analizirate te knjige,

postoje samo dve vrste knjiga.

there are basically two kinds.

The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything's possible!"

Prva kaže: "Ti to možes! Uspećes! Sve je moguće!"

A druga kaže kako da se suočite

The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem,"

sa tzv. "nedostatkom samopoštovanja",

or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself."

tj. misliti loše o sebi.

There's a real correlation

Postoji realna korelacija,

between a society that tells people that they can do anything,

izmedju društva koje govori da mogu sve da postignu,

and the existence of low self-esteem.

i nedostatka samopoštovanja.

So that's another way in which something quite positive can have a nasty kickback.

I to nije mnogo dobro.

Postoji još jedan razlog

There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious --

zašto smo mi danas previse anksiozni

about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before.

u vezi sa našim statusom u društvu.

And it's, again, linked to something nice.

A razlog je meritokratija (merit (eng.) = zasluga),

And that nice thing is called meritocracy.

i to je opet u vez sa nečim dobrim.

Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right,

Danas se svi, pa i političari,

agree that meritocracy is a great thing,

slažu da je meritokratija dobra stvar,

and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic.

i da naše društvo treba da bude meritokratsko.

In other words -- what is a meritocratic society?

A šta je to meritokratsko društvo?

A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill,

Meritokratsko društvo je ono u kome

ako imaš talenta i energije i veštine,

you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back.

uspećeš da dodjes na vrh.

It's a beautiful idea.

Dobra ideja, ali problem je da

The problem is, if you really believe in a society

ako stvarno verujete u društvo

where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top,

gde ljudi koji zaslužuju da dodju na vrh, dodju na vrh,

you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way,

onda takodje misite, implicitno,

believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom

da oni koji zaslužuju da dodju na dno,

also get to the bottom and stay there.

dodju na dno.

In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental,

Vaša pozicija u životu više nije slučajna,

but merited and deserved.

vec zaslužena.

And that makes failure seem much more crushing.

I to čini neuspeh jos težim.

You know, in the Middle Ages, in England,

U srednjem veku,

when you met a very poor person,

kada vidite siromašnu osobu,

that person would be described as an "unfortunate" --

kaze se da "nema sreću", nesrećnik.

literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate.

Drugim rečima, neko ko nije bio blagosloven srećom.

Nowadays, particularly in the United States,

Danas, pogotovu u SAD,

if you meet someone at the bottom of society,

kada sretnete nekog siromašnog,

they may unkindly be described as a "loser."

ljudi kažu da je "luzer".

There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser,

Postoji realna razlika izmedju nesrećnika i luzera.

and that shows 400 years of evolution in society

I to pokazuje 400 godina evolucije u društvu,

and our belief in who is responsible for our lives.

i verovanja ko je odgovoran za naše živote.

It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.

To vise nisu bogovi, to smo mi.

That's exhilarating if you're doing well,

To je vrlo uzbudljivo ako nam ide dobro,

and very crushing if you're not.

i veoma surovo u suprotnom slučaju.

It leads, in the worst cases --

U najgorem slučaju, po analizi sociologa kao što je Emil Durkheim,

in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim --

to vodi ka povećanom broju samoubistava.

it leads to increased rates of suicide.

There are more suicides in developed, individualistic countries

Više samoubistava se dešava u razvijenim individualističkim zemljama

than in any other part of the world.

nego u bilo kom drugom kraju sveta.

And some of the reason for that

I jedan od razloga za to je što ljudi sve što im se desi

is that people take what happens to them extremely personally --

doživljavaju veoma lično.

they own their success, but they also own their failure.

Oni su zaslužni za svoj uspeh, ali i neuspeh.

Is there any relief from some of these pressures

Ali ja mislim da postoji olakšanje

that I've been outlining?

od ovih pritisaka.

I think there is.

I hteo bih da spomenem nekoliko njih.

I just want to turn to a few of them.

Let's take meritocracy.

Uzmimo za primer meritokratiju.

This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to,

Ideju da svako dobije onoliko koliko radi i zaslužuje.

I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy.

To je po meni luda ideja,

I will support any politician of Left and Right,

Podrzaću svakog političara,

with any halfway-decent meritocratic idea;

sa bilo kakvom meritokratskom idejom.

I am a meritocrat in that sense.

Ja sam meritokrata i to je to.

But I think it's insane to believe

Ali mislim da je ludo da verujemo

that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic;

da će naše društvo ikada biti meritokratsko.

it's an impossible dream.

The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded,

Ideja da ćemo napraviti društvo

gde su svi klasifikovani,

the good at the top, bad at the bottom,

dobri na vrhu, a loši na dnu,

exactly done as it should be, is impossible.

i da smo sve ispravno uradili - to je nemoguće.

There are simply too many random factors:

Postoji suviše slučajnih faktora.

accidents, accidents of birth,

Nesreće, bolesti,

accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc.

slučajnost da ti padne stvar na glavu, itd.

We will never get to grade them,

Nikada nećemo moći

never get to grade people as they should.

da klasifikujemo ljude kako treba.

I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God,"

Sv. Augustin u knjizi "Božiji grad"

where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post."

kaže: "Greh je oceniti nekoga sudeći po njegovom stubu".

In modern English that would mean

Na modernom engleskom to znači

it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to,

greh je donositi zaključke o nekom

sudeći po njihovoj biznis kartici.

dependent on their business card.

It's not the post that should count.

Nije stub taj koji treba da se računa.

According to St. Augustine, only God can really put everybody in their place;

I po Sv. Agustinu,

samo je Bog taj koji može da sudi.

he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment,

I to će se desiti kad dodje Sudnji Dan.

with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open.

sa andjelima i trubama, i nebo će se otvoriti.

Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me.

Luda ideja, za nekog ko je sekularan, kao ja.

But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.

Ali ipak postoji nešto veoma vredno u toj ideji.

a to je: ne žuri kad donosiš zaključke o ljudima.

In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people.

You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is.

Moguće je da ne znaš u prvi mah kakav je neko.

That is an unknown part of them,

To je nepoznati deo njih.

and we shouldn't behave as though it is known.

I mi ne treba da se ponašamo kao da je poznat.

There is another source of solace and comfort for all this.

Postoji još jedan izvor utehe

When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure,

kada razmišljamo o neuspehu u životu,

one of the reasons why we fear failing

jedan od razloga zasto se plašimo neuspeha nije samo

is not just a loss of income, a loss of status.

gubitak prihoda i statusa.

What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others.

Ono čega se plašimo je osuda i ismejavanje od drugih.

And it exists.

The number one organ of ridicule, nowadays, is the newspaper.

A broj jedan medij za ismejavanje

su novine.

If you open the newspaper any day of the week,

Ako otvorite novine bilo koji dan u nedelji,

it's full of people who've messed up their lives.

prepune su ljudi koji su uradili nesto pogrešno.

They've slept with the wrong person, taken the wrong substance,

Spavali su sa pogrešnom osobom. Uzeli su pogrešnu supstancu.

passed the wrong piece of legislation --

Doneli su pogrešan zakon.

whatever it is, and then are fit for ridicule.

I oni su pogodni za ismejavanje.

In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers."

Drugim rečima, okarakterisani su kao gubitnici.

Now, is there any alternative to this?

Da li postoji neka alternativa za ovo?

I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative, which is tragedy.

Ja mislim da nam zapadna tradicija pokazuje jednu veličanstvenu alternativu.

A to je tragedija.

Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece,

Tragična umetnost, koja je nastala u teatrima stare Grčke,

in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form

u Petom veku p.n.e. je u suštini umetnost

devoted to tracing how people fail,

posvećena ljudima koji doživljavaju neuspeh.

and also according them a level of sympathy,

i koja im pripisuje odredjen nivo saosećanja.

which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them.

Saosećanje koje im obican život obično ne bi dao.

A few years ago, I was thinking about this,

Pre nekoliko godina

and I went to "The Sunday Sport,"

otišao sam da vidim redakciju jednih novina,

a tabloid newspaper I don't recommend you start reading

koju ne preporučjem da počnete da čitate,

if you're not familiar with it already.

ako već niste upoznati.

(Laughter)

I otišao sam da razgovaram

And I went to talk to them

about certain of the great tragedies of Western art.

o odredjenim poznatim tragedijama Zapadne umetnosti.

I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories,

I hteo sam da vidim kako oni vide suštinu

odredjenih priča, ako bi se pojavile kao vesti

if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.

u njihovoj redakciji. I počnem sa Otelom.

I mentioned Othello; they'd not heard of it but were fascinated.

Oni nikad čuli ali im se svidela priča.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I asked them to write a headline for the story.

I pitao sam ih kako bi oni napisali naslov za Otelo.

They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter."

Smislili su: "Ludo-zaljubljeni imigrant ubio senatorovu ćerku"

Splashed across the headline.

ogromnim slovima preko naslovne strane.

I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary.

Slično i za Madam Bovari.

Again, a book they were enchanted to discover.

Opet, nikad čuli ali im se svidelo.

And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud."

Kažu: "Razvratna preljubnica popila arsenik posle kredine malverzacije"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And then my favorite --

I moj favorit.

they really do have a kind of genius of their own, these guys --

Ti ljudi stvarno imaju neku genijalnost.

my favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King:

Sofokleov "Kralj Edip"

"Sex With Mum Was Blinding."

"Seks sa majkom je bio zaslepljujući"

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy,

Na neki način na jednom kraju

you've got the tabloid newspaper.

imate tabloidne novine.

At the other end of the spectrum, you've got tragedy and tragic art.

A na drugom kraju tragediju i tragičnu umetnost.

And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit

I ovim želim da skrenem malo više pažnju

about what's happening in tragic art.

na tragičnu umetnost.

It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser.

Bilo bi ludo da nazovemo Hamleta luzerom.

He is not a loser, though he has lost.

On nije gubitnik, iako jeste mnogo izgubio.

And I think that is the message of tragedy to us,

I to je poruka tragedije za sve nas,

and why it's so very, very important, I think.

i mislim da je ona veoma bitna.

The other thing about modern society and why it causes this anxiety,

Još jedna stvar modernog društva,

koja prouzrukuje anksioznost,

is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human.

je da nemamo ništa u centru društva što nije čovek.

We are the first society to be living in a world

Kao moderno društvo

where we don't worship anything other than ourselves.

mi ne obožavamo ništa drugo osim nas samih.

We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should;

i imamo visoko mišljenje o nama.

we've put people on the Moon, done all sorts of extraordinary things.

A i treba. Poslali smo ljude na mesec, i svašta još zanimljivo.

I zbog toga sebe obožavamo.

And so we tend to worship ourselves. Our heroes are human heroes.

Naši heroji su ljudi.

That's a very new situation.

Medjutim, druga društva su imala

Most other societies have had, right at their center,

tašno u njihovom centru,

the worship of something transcendent: a god, a spirit, a natural force,

nešto transcedentno kao Bog,

duh, prirodnu silu, univerzum.

the universe, whatever it is -- something else that is being worshiped.

Šta god da je, nije čovek koji je obožavan.

We've slightly lost the habit of doing that,

Mi smo tu naviku izgubili.

which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature.

Što je razlog zašto smo naročito privučeni prema prirodi.

Ne zbog koristi za naše zdravlje, kako ljudi obično misle.

Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way,

Nego zato što je to beg od "ljudskog mravinjaka".

but because it's an escape from the human anthill.

It's an escape from our own competition,

od našeg sopstvenog nadmetanja

and our own dramas.

od naše sopstvene drame.

And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans,

I to je razlog zašto uživamo u prirodi,

and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc.

i razmišljamo o Zemlji izvan njenih granica.

We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human,

Mi osećamo potrebu da smo u kontaktu sa nečim sto nije ljudsko.

and that is so deeply important to us.

I to je veoma važno za nas.

What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure.

Do sada sam govorio o uspehu i neuspehu,

And one of the interesting things about success

ali jedna interesantna stvar u vezi sa uspehom

is that we think we know what it means.

je sto mi mislimo sta to znači.

If I said that there's somebody behind the screen who's very successful,

Ako vam kažem da je neko uspešan,

odredjene ideje bi vam odmah pale na pamet.

certain ideas would immediately come to mind.

You'd think that person might have made a lot of money,

Mislili biste da je taj neko bogat,

ili slavan u nekoj oblasti.

achieved renown in some field.

My own theory of success --

Ja imam svoju teorija uspeha,

I'm somebody who's very interested in success,

a ja sam neko ko je veoma zainteresovan za uspeh.

I really want to be successful,

always thinking, how can I be more successful?

ali što sam stariji,

But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean.

postajem više iznijansiran

šta ta rec "uspeh" zapravo znači.

Here's an insight that I've had about success:

Evo šta ja mislim.

Ne možete da budete uspešni u svemu.

You can't be successful at everything.

We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance.

Slušamo puno o balansu u životu.

Nonsense.

Gluposti. Ne možete imati sve. Ne možete.

You can't have it all. You can't.

So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on,

Bilo koja vizija uspeha

mora da kaže gde to gubimo,

where the element of loss is.

I mislim da će svako

And I think any wise life will accept,

ko je mudar, da prihvati ovo što kažem,

as I say, that there is going to be an element where we're not succeeding.

da uvek postoji deo života u kome nismo uspešni.

And the thing about a successful life is that a lot of the time,

I jedna stvar u vezi sa uspešnim životom,

je što vrlo često, naše ideje

our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own.

o tome sta znači živeti uspešsno, nisu ustvari naše.

They're sucked in from other people;

One su usisane od drugih ljudi.

chiefly, if you're a man, your father, and if you're a woman, your mother.

Prvenstveno, ako ste muškarac od vašeg oca.

A ako ste žena od vaše majke.

Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years.

Psihoanaliza dobošari ovu poruku vec 80 godina

No one's quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe it's true.

Niko ustvari ne sluša dovoljno pažljivo.

And we also suck in messages from everything from the television,

Takodje, mi usisavamo poruke sa svih strana

počev od televizije, preko reklama,

to advertising, to marketing, etc.

do marketinga, i tako dalje.

These are hugely powerful forces

Sve ovo su ogromne moćne sile

that define what we want and how we view ourselves.

koje definišu sta hoćemo, i kako mi vidimo sebe.

When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession,

Kada nam kažu da je bankarstvo popularno

a lot of us want to go into banking.

puno nas hoće da se bavi bankarstvom.

When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.

Kada bankarstvo vise nije popularno, mi gubimo interesovanje.

We are highly open to suggestion.

Mi smo veoma podložni sugestijama.

So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up

Ono za šta hoću da se založim, nije da odustanemo

on our ideas of success,

od naših ideja o uspehu.

but we should make sure that they are our own.

Nego da utvrdimo da su te ideje potekle od nas.

We should focus in on our ideas,

Treba se fokusirati na naše ideje.

and make sure that we own them;

Utvrditi da su samo naše,

that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.

i da smo mi pravi autori.

Because it's bad enough not getting what you want,

Zato što je dovoljno loše ne dobiti ono što hoćete.

Ali je još gore imati ideju

but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want,

o tome šta je to što hoćete, i saznati na kraju puta,

and find out, at the end of the journey,

that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.

da to ustvari nije ono sto šte stvarno želeli.

So, I'm going to end it there.

Tako da ću tu i da završim.

But what I really want to stress is: by all means, success, yes.

Ali ono što stvarno hoću da naglasim

je biti uspešan, svakako.

But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas.

ali hajde da prihvatimo čudnost naših ideja.

Let's probe away at our notions of success.

Hajde da stavimo na test neke od naših ideja o uspehu.

Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.

Hajde da utvrdimo da su te ideje stvarno naše.

Thank you very much.

Hvala vam.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Chris Anderson: That was fascinating.

Chris Anderson: Fascinantno.

But how do you reconcile this idea

Kako se ova ideja

of it being bad to think of someone as a "loser,"

da je loše misliti o nekom kao o luzeru,

with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life,

može pomiriti sa idejom koju mnogi ljudi vole, a to je kontrolisati sopstveni zivot.

and that a society that encourages that,

I da društvo koje to podstiče

perhaps has to have some winners and losers?

možda mora da ima pobednike i gubitnike.

Alain De Botton: Yes, I think it's merely the randomness

Alain de Botton: Ja mislim da je sama slučajnost

of the winning and losing process that I want to stress,

da neko dobije ili izgubi ono što ja hoću da naglasim.

because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything,

Zato sto je naglasak danas previše

na pravdi u vezi sa svime.

and politicians always talk about justice.

I političari stalno govore o pravdi.

Now I'm a firm believer in justice, I just think that it's impossible.

Ja sam čvrst vernik u pravičnost. Samo što mislim da je nemoguća.

So we should do everything we can to pursue it,

Tako da mi moramo da učinimo

sve što možemo da dostignemo pravdu.

but we should always remember that whoever is facing us,

Ali na kraju dana moramo da se uvek setimo

da šta god se nekom desilo u zivotu,

whatever has happened in their lives,

there will be a strong element of the haphazard.

postojaće velika doza slučajnosti.

That's what I'm trying to leave room for;

I to je ono za šta hoću da ostavim malo prostora.

otherwise, it can get quite claustrophobic.

Zato sto u suprotnom postaje jako klaustrofobično.

CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine

Chris: Da li veruješ da možeš da ukombinuješ

your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work

tvoju vrstu brižljive, nežnije filozofije rada,

sa uspešnom ekonomijom?

with a successful economy?

Or do you think that you can't,

Ili misliš da ne možeš ali to nije ni bitno

but it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?

jer mi stavljamo previše naglaska na ekonomiju?

Alain: Najgora misao

AB: The nightmare thought

is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them,

je da će se zaplašivanjem ljudi naterati da rade najbolje.

and that somehow the crueler the environment,

I da na neki nacin, što je okrutnije okruženje

the more people will rise to the challenge.

to će ljudi više da daju svoj maksimum.

You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad?

Treba razmišljati ovako: koga bi vi voleli za vašeg idealnog oca?

And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle.

I vaš idealan otac je neko ko je čvrst ali opet blag.

And it's a very hard line to make.

I veoma je teško da povučete crtu izmedju ta dva.

We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society,

Nama trebaju očevi, primeri očinskih figura

avoiding the two extremes,

izmedju ta dva ekstrema.

which is the authoritarian disciplinarian on the one hand,

A to su diktatorski i strog, sa jedne strane.

and on the other, the lax, no-rules option.

I sa druge, labav i spontan.

CA: Alain De Botton.

Chris: Alain de Botton.

AB: Thank you very much.

Alain de Botton: Hvala mnogo.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)