A kinder, gentler philosophy of success | Alain de Botton

Translator: Kristina Mois Reviewer: Kei Andresen

For me they normally happen, these career crises,

Minul juhtuvad need karjäärikriisid

often, actually, on a Sunday evening,

sageli, tegelikult, pühapäeva õhtuti,

just as the sun is starting to set,

just siis kui päike loojumas on,

and the gap between my hopes for myself and the reality of my life

ja vahe minu ootuste ja reaalsuse vahel

hakkab nii valusalt lainema,

starts to diverge so painfully

that I normally end up weeping into a pillow.

et tavaliselt ma lõpuks nutan patja.

I'm mentioning all this --

Ma räägin sellest,

I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem;

sest ma arvan et see pole mitte ainult isiklik probleem.

you may think I'm wrong in this,

Te võite arvate, et ma eksin.

but I think we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated

Aga ma usun, et me elame ajastul, kus meie elusid tabavad

iga natukese aja tagant karjäärikriisid,

by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew --

hetked kus see, mida me uskusime

about our lives, about our careers --

oma elude, karjääride kohta teadvat,

comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.

puutub kokku ähvardava reaalsusega.

It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living.

Tänapäeval on võibolla lihtsam kui kunagi varem ennast normaalselt ära elatada.

It's perhaps harder than ever before

Võibolla on raskem kui kunagi varem

to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.

olla rahulik, karjäärimuredest vaba.

I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons

Nüüd ma tahaksin uurida, kui tohib,

neid põhjuseid, miks

why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.

töö ja karjäär meid närviliseks ajavad.

Why we might be victims of these career crises,

Miks me oleme nende karjäärikriiside ohvrid,

as we're weeping softly into our pillows.

kui me vaikselt oma patjadesse nutame.

One of the reasons why we might be suffering

Üks põhjus, miks me kannatame, on see,

is that we are surrounded by snobs.

et meid ümbritsevad snoobid.

In a way, I've got some bad news,

Mõnes mõttes on mul halbu uudiseid,

particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad.

eriti neile, kes on Oxfordi välismaalt tulnud.

There's a real problem with snobbery,

Snooblus on tõeline probleem.

because sometimes people from outside the U.K.

Sest mõnikord inimesed väljaspool Inglismaalt arvavad,

imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon,

et snooblus ongi ainult Inglismaa fenomen,

fixated on country houses and titles.

klammerdudes maamajade ja tiitlide külge.

The bad news is that's not true.

Halb uudis on see, et see ei vasta tõele.

Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization,

Snooblus on ülemaailmne nähtus.

this is a global phenomenon.

Me oleme ülemaailmne organisatsioon. See on ülemaailmne nähtus.

What is a snob?

See on olemas. Mis on snoob?

A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you,

Snoob on keegi, kes võtab pisikese osa sinust,

and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are.

ja konstrueerib sellest terve nägemuse, mis inimene sa oled.

That is snobbery.

See ongi snooblus.

The dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery.

Ja põhiline snoobluse liik

tänapäeval on töösnooblus.

You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked

Peol näed sa seda kohe mõne minuti jooksul,

kui sulle esitatakse see kuulus ikooniline varase

that famous iconic question of the early 21st century,

21. sajandi küsimus: "Millega sa tegeled?"

"What do you do?"

According to how you answer that question,

Ja sõltuvalt sellest, mida sa vastad,

people are either incredibly delighted to see you,

on inimestel kas äärmiselt hea meel sinuga tutvuda,

or look at their watch and make their excuses.

või vaatavad nad kella ja eemalduvad vabandades.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother.

Aga snoobi vastand on su ema.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine,

Mitte tingimata sinu ema, või ka minu.

but, as it were, the ideal mother,

Aga noh, ideaalne ema.

somebody who doesn't care about your achievements.

Keegi, kes su saavutustest ei hooli.

Unfortunately, most people are not our mothers.

Aga kahjuks enamik inimesi ei ole meie emad.

Most people make a strict correlation between how much time,

Enamus inimesi otsustab, kui palju aega,

and if you like, love --

ja võiks öelda armastust, mitte romantilist armastust,

not romantic love, though that may be something --

kuigi võibolla ka seda,

but love in general, respect -- they are willing to accord us,

aga üldiselt armastust, austust,

nad meile pakuvad, lähtuvalt

that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy.

meie positsioonist sotsiaalses hierarhias.

And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers

Ja see on peamine põhjus, miks me oma karjääre nii tähtsaks peame.

and indeed start caring so much about material goods.

Ja tegelikult, miks me hoolime materiaalsetest asjadest nii palju.

You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times,

Sageli öeldakse, et me elame materiaalsel ajajärgul,

that we're all greedy people.

et me oleme kõik ahned.

I don't think we are particularly materialistic.

Ma ei arva, et me oleme eriti materiaalsed.

I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards

Ma arvan, et me elame ühiskonnas,

mis on lihtsalt sidunud teatud emotsionaalsed preemiad

to the acquisition of material goods.

materiaalsete asjade omamise külge.

It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want.

Me ei taha neid materiaalseid asju, vaid neid preemiaid.

It's a new way of looking at luxury goods.

Ja see on uus viis mõista luksuskaupu.

The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think,

Järgmine kord, kui te näete kedagi Ferrari roolis,

ärge mõelge: "See on üks ahne inimene."

"This is somebody who's greedy."

Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love."

Mõelge: "See on üks äärmiselt haavatav ning armastust vajav inimene."

Teisisõnu -- (Naer)

(Laughter)

Feel sympathy, rather than contempt.

tunne haletsust, mitte põlgust.

There are other reasons --

On ka teisi põhjuseid --

(Laughter)

(Naer)

There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before.

On teisi põhjuseid, miks on võibolla praegu raskem

olla rahulik kui varem.

One of these, and it's paradoxical,

Üks, ja see on paradoks kuna see on seotud millegi üsna toredaga,

because it's linked to something that's rather nice,

on meie ootused oma karjäärile.

is the hope we all have for our careers.

Never before have expectations been so high

Mitte kunagi varem pole ootused olnud nii kõrged,

about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan.

mida inimolendid oma elu jooksul saavutada suudavad.

We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything.

Meile öeldakse, mitmest allikast, et igaüks võib saavutada ükskõik mida.

We've done away with the caste system,

Me oleme kastisüsteemi kaotanud.

we are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please.

Meil on nüüd süsteem, kus igaüks võib tõusta

nii kõrgele positsioonile kui tahab.

And it's a beautiful idea.

Ja see on kaunis idee.

Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality;

Selle kõrval on võrdsust pooldav meelsus. Me kõik oleme üldiselt võrdsed.

we're all basically equal.

There are no strictly defined hierarchies.

Igasugused piiritletud

hierarhiad puuduvad.

There is one really big problem with this,

Sellega on üks suur probleem

and that problem is envy.

Ja see probleem on kadedus.

Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy,

Kadeduse mainimine on tabu,

but if there's one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy.

aga kui kaasaegses ühiskonnas on üks domineeriv tunne, siis on see kadedus.

And it's linked to the spirit of equality.

ja see on seotud võrdsusega. Las ma seletan.

Let me explain.

I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching,

Ma ei usu, et keegi siin, või keegi vaatajatest,

to be envious of the Queen of England.

kadestab Inglise kuningannat.

Even though she is much richer than any of you are,

Kuigi ta on palju rikkam kui keegi teist.

and she's got a very large house,

Ja tal on väga suur maja.

the reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird.

Põhjus, miks me teda ei kadesta, on see, et ta on liiga imelik.

(Laughter)

She's simply too strange.

Ta on lihtsalt liiga kummaline.

We can't relate to her, she speaks in a funny way,

Me ei seosta ennast temaga. Ta räägib naljakalt.

she comes from an odd place.

Ta on imelikku päritolu.

So we can't relate to her,

Nii et me ei samasta ennast temaga. Ja kui sa ennast kellegagi ei samasta, siis sa ei kadesta teda.

and when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.

The closer two people are -- in age, in background,

Mida lähemal kaks inimest teineteisele on, vanuselt, taustalt,

in the process of identification -- the more there's a danger of envy,

identiteedilt, seda suurem on kadeduse oht.

which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion,

Nii et muideks ärge keegi kunagi kooli kokkutulekule minge.

Sest pole olemas tugevamat võrdlusobjekti,

because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with.

kui inimesed, kellega sa koos koolis käisid.

The problem of modern society is it turns the whole world into a school.

Aga kaasaegse ühiskonna häda on üldiselt see, et tervest maailmast saab

Everybody's wearing jeans, everybody's the same.

kool. Kõik kannavad teksaseid, kõik on ühesugused.

And yet, they're not.

Aga ometi, nad ei ole.

So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality,

Nii et on võrdsuse tunne, aga koos sügava ebavõrdsusega.

which can make for a very stressful situation.

Mis loob -- võib luua väga stressirohke olukorra.

It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays

Tänapäeval on ilmselt sama ebatõenäoline, et

become as rich and famous as Bill Gates,

sa saad sama rikkaks ja kuulsaks nagu Bill Gates,

as it was unlikely in the 17th century

kui oli ebatõenäoline 17. sajandil,

that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy.

et sa pääsed Prantsuse aristokraatide sekka.

But the point is, it doesn't feel that way.

Aga iva on selles, et see ei tundu nii.

It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets,

Ajakirjad ja muu meedia tekitavad tunde,

that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage --

et kui sul on energiat, mõned head tehnoloogilised ideed,

garaazh, siis võid sina ka asutada suure firma.

you, too, could start a major thing.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

The consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops.

Ja selle tagajärgi on tunda raamatupoodides.

When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections,

Kui minna suurde raamatupoodi ja vaadata eneseabi riiuleid,

as I sometimes do --

mida ma vahel teen,

if you analyze self-help books produced in the world today,

kui sa uurid neid eneseabi raamatuid, mida tänapäeval

toodetakse, siis on neid peamiselt kahte sorti.

there are basically two kinds.

The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything's possible!"

Esimene neist ütleb: "Sa suudad! Kõik on võimalik!"

Ja teine sort räägib sulle, kuidas toime tulla

The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem,"

nii-nimetatud "madala enesehinnanguga"

or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself."

ehk kui sa haletsed ennast.

There's a real correlation

On selge seos,

between a society that tells people that they can do anything,

et kui ühiskond ütleb inimestele et nad suudavad kõike teha,

and the existence of low self-esteem.

siis esineb madalat enesehinnangut rohkem.

So that's another way in which something quite positive can have a nasty kickback.

Nii et see on jällegi näide, kuidas ühel heal asjal

võib olla vastik varjukülg.

There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious --

On veel üks põhjus, miks me täna närveldame oma karjääride,

about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before.

oma staatuse pärast rohkem kui kunagi varem.

And it's, again, linked to something nice.

Ja see on jällegi seotud millegi kenaga.

And that nice thing is called meritocracy.

Ja selle kena asja nimi on meritokraatia.

Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right,

Kõik inimesed ja parem- ja vasakpoolsed poliitikud

agree that meritocracy is a great thing,

on ühel meelel, et meritokraatia on suurepärane asi,

and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic.

ja me kõik peaksime püüdma muuta oma ühiskonnad väga väga meritokraatlikuks.

In other words -- what is a meritocratic society?

Teisisõnu, mis on meritokraatlik ühiskond?

A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill,

Meritokraatlikus ühiskonnas,

kui sul on annet ja energiat ja oskust,

you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back.

siis jõuad sa tippu. Miski ei tohiks sind tagasi hoida.

It's a beautiful idea.

See on kaunis idee. Probleem on see,

The problem is, if you really believe in a society

et kui sa usud ühiskonda,

where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top,

kus need, kes väärivad tippu jõudmist, jõuavad tippu,

you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way,

siis samuti, vaikimisi ja palju vastikumalt,

believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom

usud sa ühiskonda, kus need kes väärivad põhjakihti,

also get to the bottom and stay there.

jõuavadki põhja ning jäävad sinna.

In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental,

Teisisõnu, su elustaatus ei tundu mitte juhuslik,

but merited and deserved.

vaid sa vääridki seda.

And that makes failure seem much more crushing.

Ja tulemusena tunduvad läbikukkumised palju valusamad.

You know, in the Middle Ages, in England,

Keskaegsel Inglismaal,

when you met a very poor person,

kui sa kohtasid väga vaest inimest,

that person would be described as an "unfortunate" --

siis seda inimest kirjeldati kui "õnnetut".

literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate.

Sõna-sõnalt, keegi kellel polnud õnne, õnnetu.

Nowadays, particularly in the United States,

Tänapäeval, eriti USA-s,

if you meet someone at the bottom of society,

kui sa kohtad kedagi ühiskonna põhjakihist,

they may unkindly be described as a "loser."

siis tema kohta öeldakse, julmalt, "luuser" -- kaotaja.

There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser,

Õnnetu ja kaotaja vahel on oluline erinevus.

and that shows 400 years of evolution in society

Ja see näitab, kuidas on 400 aastaga muutunud nii ühiskond

and our belief in who is responsible for our lives.

kui ka meie arusaam, kes meie elude eest vastutab.

It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.

Mitte enam jumalad, vaid meie. Juhiistmel oleme meie.

That's exhilarating if you're doing well,

See on fantastiline, kui sul läheb hästi,

and very crushing if you're not.

ja väga rusuv, kui sul läheb halvasti.

It leads, in the worst cases --

Halvimatel juhtudel viib see enesetappude sagenemiseni, nagu

in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim --

leidis sotsioloog Emil Durkheim.

it leads to increased rates of suicide.

There are more suicides in developed, individualistic countries

Arenenud individualistlikes riikides on rohkem enesetappe

than in any other part of the world.

kui kusagil mujal maailmas.

And some of the reason for that

Ja osa põhjusest on see, et inimesed võtavad kõike, mis nendega juhtub,

is that people take what happens to them extremely personally --

äärmiselt isiklikult.

they own their success, but they also own their failure.

Nende edu on nende oma. Aga läbikukkumised samuti.

Is there any relief from some of these pressures

Kas nende survete alt, mida ma olen kirjeldanud,

that I've been outlining?

on üldse pääsu?

I think there is.

Ma arvan et on, ja mainin nüüd mõnda.

I just want to turn to a few of them.

Let's take meritocracy.

Võtame meritokraatia.

This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to,

See idee, et kõik on seda väärt, kuhu nad elus jõuavad.

I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy.

Ma arvan et see on hull idee, täiesti hullumeelne.

I will support any politician of Left and Right,

Ma toetan iga vasak- või parempoolset poliitikut,

with any halfway-decent meritocratic idea;

kellel oleks poolenistigi mõistlik meritokraatlik idee.

I am a meritocrat in that sense.

Ma olen meritokraat ja kõik.

But I think it's insane to believe

Aga minu arvates on ebamõistlik loota, et me kunagigi

that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic;

loome ühiskonna, mis oleks täiesti meritokraatlik. See on võimatu unelm.

it's an impossible dream.

The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded,

Idee, et me loome ühiskonna

kus absoluutselt igaüks on täpselt hinnatud,

the good at the top, bad at the bottom,

head tipus, kehvad põhjas,

exactly done as it should be, is impossible.

ja seda tehakse täpselt õigesti, on võimatu.

There are simply too many random factors:

Suvalisi tegureid on lihtsalt liiga palju.

accidents, accidents of birth,

Juhused, sünnijuhused,

accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc.

õnnetused kus mingi asi kukub inimesele pähe, haigused, jne.

We will never get to grade them,

Me ei suuda neid kunagi hinnata.

never get to grade people as they should.

Kunagi hinnata inimesi just nii nagu peab.

I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God,"

Mulle meeldib üks Püha Augustini tsitaat "Jumala linnast",

where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post."

kus ta ütleb, "Mehe üle tema ameti järgi kohut mõista on patt."

In modern English that would mean

Kaasaegses keeles tähendaks see,

it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to,

on patt otsustada, kellega vestelda,

lähtuvalt inimeste visiitkaartidest.

dependent on their business card.

It's not the post that should count.

Amet ei tohiks lugeda.

According to St. Augustine, only God can really put everybody in their place;

Ja Püha Augustini sõnul

suudab ainult jumal kõik inimesed õigesse kohta paigustada.

he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment,

Ning seda teeb ta Viimasel Kohtupäeval

with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open.

inglite ja trompetitega, ja taevas avaneb.

Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me.

Hull mõte, kui sa oled ilmalik inimene nagu mina.

But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.

Aga selles mõttes sisaldub ikkagi midagi väärtuslikku.

Teisisõnu, pea hoogu kui sa teistele inimestele hinnangut annad.

In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people.

You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is.

Sa ei pruugi teada, mida keegi tõeliselt väärt on.

That is an unknown part of them,

Seda ei saa kunagi kellegi kohta teada.

and we shouldn't behave as though it is known.

Ja me ei tohiks teeselda, nagu me seda teaksime.

There is another source of solace and comfort for all this.

See on lohutav ka ühel teisel põhjusel.

When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure,

Kui me mõtleme elus läbi kukkumisele,

one of the reasons why we fear failing

siis üks põhjus, miks me läbikukkumist kardame, pole mitte ainult

is not just a loss of income, a loss of status.

sissetuleku ja staatuse kaotus.

What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others.

Mida me kardame on teiste kohtumõistmine ja naeruvääristamine. Ja see on olemas.

And it exists.

The number one organ of ridicule, nowadays, is the newspaper.

Naeruvääristamise organ number üks

on tänapäeval ajaleht.

If you open the newspaper any day of the week,

Kui avada ajaleht ükskõik mis päeval,

it's full of people who've messed up their lives.

on see tulvil inimesi, kes oma elud tuksi keerasid.

They've slept with the wrong person, taken the wrong substance,

Nad magasid vale inimesega. Nad manustasid valet ainet.

passed the wrong piece of legislation --

Nad kehtestasid vale seaduse. Mida iganes.

whatever it is, and then are fit for ridicule.

Ja siis on nad naeruvääristamiseks sobilikud.

In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers."

Teisisõnu, nad kukkusid läbi ning neid nimetatakse luuseriteks.

Now, is there any alternative to this?

Kas sellele on alternatiivi?

I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative, which is tragedy.

Ma arvan, et Lääne traditsioon pakub meile ühte hiilgavat alternatiivi.

Selleks on tragöödia.

Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece,

Traagiline kunst, mis arenes Vana-Kreeka teatrites

in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form

5. sajandil e.Kr., oli põhimõtteliselt kunstivorm

devoted to tracing how people fail,

pühendatud sellele, et näidata kuidas inimesed läbi kukuvad.

and also according them a level of sympathy,

Ja samuti pakkuda neile mingil määral kaastunnet,

which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them.

mida tavaelu neile võibolla ei pakkunud.

A few years ago, I was thinking about this,

Ma mäletan, kuidas ma paar aastat tagasi sellele mõtlesin,

and I went to "The Sunday Sport,"

ja külastasin "Pühapäevaspordi" toimetust, mis on

a tabloid newspaper I don't recommend you start reading

kollane ajaleht mida ma kellelegi ei soovita,

if you're not familiar with it already.

kui te sellest juba kuulnud pole.

(Laughter)

Ma läksin nendega rääkima

And I went to talk to them

about certain of the great tragedies of Western art.

Lääne kunsti suurtest tragöödiatest

I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories,

ja tahtsin näha, kuidas nad mõnede lugude kondikavast

kinni haarasid, kui neid uudistena serveeriti

if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.

uudisteosakonnas laupäeva pärastlõunal.

I mentioned Othello; they'd not heard of it but were fascinated.

Ma rääkisin neile Othellost. Nad polnud sellest kuulnud, aga olid vapustatud.

(Laughter)

(Naer)

I asked them to write a headline for the story.

Ja ma palusin neil kirjutada Othello loole pealkiri.

They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter."

Nad pakkusid "Armuhull immigrant tapab senaatori tütre"

Splashed across the headline.

pritsitud esielehele.

I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary.

Ma esitasin neile Madame Bovary süzhee.

Again, a book they were enchanted to discover.

Jällegi, raamat millest nad võlutult esimest korda kuulsid.

And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud."

Ja nad kirjutasid "Shopahoolikust abielurikkuja neelab pärast laenupettust arseeni".

(Laughter)

(Naer)

And then my favorite --

Ning mu lemmik.

they really do have a kind of genius of their own, these guys --

Need tüübid on tõesti omamoodi geeniused.

my favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King:

Mu lemmik on Sophoklese "Kuningas Oidipus".

"Sex With Mum Was Blinding."

"Seks emaga oli pimestav"

(Laughter)

(Naer)

(Applause)

(Aplaus)

In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy,

Mõnes mõttes, kaastundespektri ühes otsas on

you've got the tabloid newspaper.

kollane ajakirjandus.

At the other end of the spectrum, you've got tragedy and tragic art.

Ja spektri teises otsas on tragöödia ja traagiline kunst.

And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit

Ja ma üritan vist väita, et me peaksime õppust võtma,

about what's happening in tragic art.

sellest mis toimub traagilises kunstis.

It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser.

Kutsuda Hamletit luuseriks oleks hull.

He is not a loser, though he has lost.

Ta ei ole kaotaja, kuigi ta on kaotanud.

And I think that is the message of tragedy to us,

Ja see on tragöödia sõnum meile kõigile,

and why it's so very, very important, I think.

ja miks see on minu arvates nii tähtis.

The other thing about modern society and why it causes this anxiety,

Teine asi kaasaegses ühiskonnas,

ja miks see närvilisust tekitab,

is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human.

on see, et ühiskonna keskmes pole midagi ebainimlikku.

We are the first society to be living in a world

Me oleme esimene ühiskond,

where we don't worship anything other than ourselves.

kes ei jumalda midagi peale iseendi.

We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should;

Me arvame endast väga hästi. Ja õigustatult.

we've put people on the Moon, done all sorts of extraordinary things.

Me saatsime inimesed Kuule. Me oleme teinud igasuguseid vägevaid asju.

Ja nii me kipume endid jumaldama.

And so we tend to worship ourselves. Our heroes are human heroes.

Meie kangelased on inimkangelased.

That's a very new situation.

See on väga uus olukord.

Most other societies have had, right at their center,

Enamikul ühiskondadel oli keskmes

the worship of something transcendent: a god, a spirit, a natural force,

mingi üleva olendi jumaldamine. Jumal,

vaim, loodusjõud, universum.

the universe, whatever it is -- something else that is being worshiped.

Mis iganes see ka pole, jumaldati midagi muud.

We've slightly lost the habit of doing that,

Me oleme selle harjumuse kaotanud.

which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature.

Mis on põhjus, miks loodus meid eriti meelitab.

Mitte tervise huvides, kuigi seda sageli nii esitletakse.

Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way,

Vaid sest see on väljapääs inimeste sipelgapesast.

but because it's an escape from the human anthill.

It's an escape from our own competition,

Väljapääs meie oma konkurentsist

and our own dramas.

ja draamadest.

And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans,

Sellepärast meile meeldibki vaadata liustikke ja ookeane,

and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc.

ja mõtiskleda selle üle, mis on väljaspool Maad, jne.

We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human,

Me tahaksime tunda kontakte millegi mitte-inimlikuga.

and that is so deeply important to us.

Ja see on meile sügavalt oluline.

What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure.

Ma rääkisin edust ja läbikukkumisest.

And one of the interesting things about success

Ja on huvitav, et me arvame et teame,

is that we think we know what it means.

mida "edu" tähendab.

If I said that there's somebody behind the screen who's very successful,

Kui ma ütleksin, et sirmi taga seidab üks väga edukas inimene,

siis tuleksid kohe teatud ettekujutused pähe.

certain ideas would immediately come to mind.

You'd think that person might have made a lot of money,

Te arvaksite, et ta on teinud palju raha,

saavutanud mingil alal kuulsuse.

achieved renown in some field.

My own theory of success --

Minu oma eduteooria, ja ma olen edust

I'm somebody who's very interested in success,

väga huvitatud. Ma tõesti tahan edukas olla.

I really want to be successful,

always thinking, how can I be more successful?

Ma mõtlen alati: "Kuidas ma saaksin edukam olla?"

But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean.

Aga vanemaks saades olen ma täpsem,

mida sõna "edu" tähendada võib.

Here's an insight that I've had about success:

Siin on üks minu tõdemusi edu kohta.

Sa ei saa olla kõiges edukas.

You can't be successful at everything.

We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance.

Palju räägitakse töö ja eraelu tasakaalust.

Nonsense.

Lora. Kõike ei saa. Sa ei saa.

You can't have it all. You can't.

So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on,

Nii et iga edunägemus

peab tunnistama, millest ta ilma jääb,

where the element of loss is.

mida ta kaotab.

And I think any wise life will accept,

Ja iga arukas elu peab leppima,

as I say, that there is going to be an element where we're not succeeding.

nagu ma ütlen, et alati on mingi element, kus me pole edukad.

And the thing about a successful life is that a lot of the time,

Ja eduka elu iva on see, et

sageli, meie arusaam

our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own.

eduka elu tähendusest pole meie enda oma.

They're sucked in from other people;

See arusaam on teistelt imetud.

chiefly, if you're a man, your father, and if you're a woman, your mother.

Põhiliselt, mehe puhul, isalt.

Ja naise puhul, emalt.

Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years.

Psühhoanalüüs on seda sõnumit 80 aastat kuulutanud.

No one's quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe it's true.

Keegi ei kuula eriti. Aga ma väga usun, et see on tõsi.

And we also suck in messages from everything from the television,

Aga me imeme endasse ka teisi sõnumeid,

telekast, reklaamidest,

to advertising, to marketing, etc.

turundusest ja nii edasi.

These are hugely powerful forces

Need on äärmiselt võimsad jõud.

that define what we want and how we view ourselves.

Need määravad, mida me tahame ja kuidas me ennast näeme.

When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession,

Kui meile öeldakse, et pangandus on väga auväärne amet,

a lot of us want to go into banking.

siis paljud meist tahavad pankuriks saada.

When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.

Kui pangandus pole enam nii auväärne, siis kaotame huvi.

We are highly open to suggestion.

Me oleme soovitustele väga avatud.

So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up

Nii et ma ei ürita väita, et me peaksime oma arusaamadest

on our ideas of success,

edust lahti ütlema.

but we should make sure that they are our own.

Aga olgem kindlad, et need arusaamad on meie endi omad.

We should focus in on our ideas,

Keskendume oma enda ideedele.

and make sure that we own them;

Et nad on kindlasti meie omad,

that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.

et me oleme ise oma ambitsioonide autorid.

Because it's bad enough not getting what you want,

Sest on niigi halb, kui sa ei saa, mida tahad.

Aga on isegi hullem, kui sa arvad,

but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want,

et tead mida tahad, aga teekonna lõpus avastad,

and find out, at the end of the journey,

that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.

et tegelikult see polegi, mida sa tahtsid.

So, I'm going to end it there.

Nüüd ma lõpetan.

But what I really want to stress is: by all means, success, yes.

Aga ma tahan rõhutada,

igal juhul, edu, jah.

But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas.

Aga leppigem, et mõned meie arusaamad on imelikud.

Let's probe away at our notions of success.

Uurime oma arusaami edust lähemalt.

Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.

Olgem kindlad, et meie arusaamad edust on tõesti meie omad.

Thank you very much.

Aitäh.

(Applause)

(Aplaus)

Chris Anderson: That was fascinating.

Chris Anderson: See oli imeline. Kuidas ühitada

But how do you reconcile this idea

idee, et keegi on --

of it being bad to think of someone as a "loser,"

kuna on halb pidada kedagi luuseriks,

with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life,

ideega mis paljudele meeldib, et oma elu tuleb kontrollida suuta.

and that a society that encourages that,

Ja ühiskonnas, mis seda soodustab,

perhaps has to have some winners and losers?

võibolla peavadki olema võitjad ja kaotajad.

Alain De Botton: Yes, I think it's merely the randomness

Alain de Botton: Jah. Ma tahtsin rõhutada,

of the winning and losing process that I want to stress,

et võitmine ja kaotamine on lihtsalt juhuslikud.

because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything,

Sest tänapäeval rõhutatakse nii väga,

kuidas kõik olevat õiglane.

and politicians always talk about justice.

Ja poliitikud räägivad aina õiglusest.

Now I'm a firm believer in justice, I just think that it's impossible.

Ma usun õiglusesse, aga ma lihtsalt arvan, et see on võimatu.

So we should do everything we can to pursue it,

Nii et me peaksime tegema kõik,

kõik, et selle poole püüelda.

but we should always remember that whoever is facing us,

Aga lõpuks peaksime meeles pidama,

et kes iganes meie ees seisab, mis iganes tema elus on juhtunud,

whatever has happened in their lives,

there will be a strong element of the haphazard.

on olemas suur juhuslik tegur.

That's what I'm trying to leave room for;

Ning ma tahan selle jaoks ruumi jätta.

otherwise, it can get quite claustrophobic.

Sest muidu läheb asi klaustrofoobseks.

CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine

Chris Anderson: Kas sa usud, et su

your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work

lahkem, leebem tööfilosoofia saab eduka

majandusega ühilduda?

with a successful economy?

Or do you think that you can't,

Või ei saa?

but it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?

Aga pole oluline, et me seda nii palju rõhutame?

Alain de Botton: Õudne mõte on see,

AB: The nightmare thought

is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them,

et inimeste hirmutamine on parim viis neid tööle saada.

and that somehow the crueler the environment,

Ja et mida julmem keskkond,

the more people will rise to the challenge.

seda paremini inimesed väljakutsele vastu astuvad.

You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad?

Mõtle, milline oleks ideaalne isa?

And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle.

Ja ideaalne isa on keegi, kes on range aga õrn.

And it's a very hard line to make.

Ja see on keeruline piir.

We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society,

Meil on vaja niiöelda isasid, näidis isafiguure ühiskonnas,

avoiding the two extremes,

kes ei oleks kummaski äärmuses.

which is the authoritarian disciplinarian on the one hand,

Nimelt ühest küljest autoritaarne.

and on the other, the lax, no-rules option.

Ja teisest küljest vaba, täiesti reegliteta variant.

CA: Alain De Botton.

Christ Anderson: Alain de Botton.

AB: Thank you very much.

Alain de Botton: Tänan teid väga!

(Applause)

(Aplaus)