Ze Frank: Are you human?

Translator: Matej Divjak Reviewer: Klavdija Cernilogar

(Music) This is the human test,

(glasba) To je preizkus človeškosti,

a test to see if you are a human.

preizkus, če ste človek.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Prosim, dvignite roko, če nekaj velja za vas.

Are we agreed? Yes?

Smo dogovorjeni? Ja?

Then let's begin.

Potem začnimo.

Have you ever eaten a booger

Ste že kdaj pojedli smrkelj

long past your childhood?

precej po izteku vašega otroštva?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

It's okay, it's safe here.

V redu je, tu je varno.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Ste že kdaj naredili majhen, čuden zvok,

when you remembered something embarrassing?

ko ste se spomnili česa sramotnega?

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Ste že kdaj namenoma začeli z majhno začetnico,

the first letter of a text

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

da bi se zdeli žalostni ali razočarani?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Okay.

V redu.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Ste že kdaj končali besedilo s piko

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

kot znakom nasilja? V redu. Pika.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Ste se že kdaj smejali ali nasmehnili, ko vam je nekdo povedal kakšno sranje

when someone said something shitty to you

and then spent the rest of the day

in se potem preostanek dneva spraševali, zakaj ste se tako odzvali?

wondering why you reacted that way?

Yes.

Ja.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Se vam je že kdaj zdelo, da ste tisočkrat izgubili letalsko karto,

a thousand times as you walked

ko ste šli od prijave pri pultu do izhoda za let?

from the check-in to the gate?

Yes.

Ja.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Ste si že kdaj oblekli hlače

and then much later realized that there was

in potem mnogo kasneje ugotovili, da imate ob stegno stisnjeno nogavico?

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Good.

Dobro.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Ste že kdaj poskušali uganiti geslo nekoga drugega

so many times that it locked their account?

tolikokrat, da ste jim zaklenili račun?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Ste že kdaj imeli moteč občutek, da vas bodo nekega dne razkrili kot prevaranta?

you will be discovered as a fraud?

Yes, it's safe here.

Ja, tukaj je varno.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Ste že kdaj upali, da obstaja sposobnost, ki je še niste odkrili,

you hadn't discovered yet

that you were just naturally great at?

a ste v njej po naravi odlični?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Ste že kdaj v resničnem življenju kaj zlomili

and then found yourself looking

in se potem znašli v iskanju gumba "Prekliči" v resničnem življenju?

for an "undo" button in real life?

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

Ste že kdaj založili svojo TED akreditacijo

and then immediately started imagining

in si takoj zatem pričeli zamišljati,

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

kako bi izgledal tridnevni dopust v Vancouvru?

Have you ever marveled

Ste se že kdaj čudili,

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

kako je nekdo, za katerega ste mislili, da je povsem običajen,

could suddenly become so beautiful?

lahko naenkrat postal tako lep?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Ste že kdaj strmeli v svoj telefon

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

smejoč se kot idiot, medtem ko ste si z nekom izmenjevali sporočila?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

Ste že kdaj takoj zatem tej osebi poslali sporočilo:

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

"Strmim v svoj telefon smejoč se kot idiot"?

smiling like an idiot"?

Have you ever been tempted to,

Ste že kdaj bili v skušnjavi, in se potem tej skušnjavi vdali,

and then gave in to the temptation,

of looking through someone else's phone?

da brskate po telefonu nekoga drugega?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Ste se že kdaj pogovarjali sami s seboj in naenkrat spoznali,

and then suddenly realized

you're a real asshole to yourself?

da ste pravi kreten do sebe?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Se vam je že kdaj spraznila baterija

in the middle of an argument,

sredi prepira

and it sort of felt like the phone

in ste se pri tem počutili, kot da bi telefon prekinil z vama obema?

was breaking up with both of you?

Have you ever thought

Ste že kdaj mislili,

that working on an issue between you was futile

da je delo na vajinih težavah jalovo,

because it should just be easier than this,

ker bi preprosto moralo biti lažje kot to,

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

ali da bi se to moralo zgoditi kar samo po sebi?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Ste že kdaj spoznali, da se na dolgi rok zelo malo stvari

just happens naturally?

zgodi kar samo po sebi?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Ste se že kdaj prebudili blaženi

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

in bili naenkrat preplavljeni z groznimi spomini,

that someone had left you?

da vas je nekdo zapustil?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Ste že kdaj izgubili sposobnost, da si predstavljate prihodnost brez osebe,

without a person

that no longer was in your life?

ki je ni bilo več v vašem življenju?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Ste že kdaj pogledali nazaj na ta dogodek z žalostnim jesenskim nasmehom

with the sad smile of autumn

and the realization that futures will happen

in s spoznanjem, da se bodo prihodnosti zgodile,

regardless?

ne glede na to?

Congratulations.

Čestitke.

You have now completed the test.

Prestali ste preizkus.

You are all human.

Vsi ste ljudje.

(Applause)

(aplavz)