Ze Frank: Are you human?

Prevoditelj: Senzos Osijek Recezent: Ivan Stamenković

(Music) This is the human test,

(Glazba) Ovo je test ljudskosti,

a test to see if you are a human.

test koji će vam pokazati jeste li ljudska bića.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Molim vas da podignete ruku ukoliko se nešto odnosi na vas.

Are we agreed? Yes?

Jesmo li se dogovorili? Jesmo?

Then let's begin.

Onda možemo početi.

Have you ever eaten a booger

Jeste li ikad pojeli šmrkalj

long past your childhood?

dugo nakon vašeg djetinjstva?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

It's okay, it's safe here.

U redu je, ovdje ste sigurni.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Jeste li ikada napravili sitan, neobičan zvuk

when you remembered something embarrassing?

kada ste se sjetili nečeg sramotnog?

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Jeste li ikada namjerno prvo slovo poruke

the first letter of a text

napisali malim slovom

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

kako bi izgledali tužno ili razočarano?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Okay.

U redu.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Jeste li ikada završili poruku točkom

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

kao znakom ljutnje? U redu. Točka.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Jeste li se ikada glasno nasmijali ili nasmiješili

when someone said something shitty to you

kada vam je netko rekao nešto glupo

and then spent the rest of the day

i onda proveli ostatak dana

wondering why you reacted that way?

pitajući se zašto ste tako reagirali?

Yes.

Da.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Jeste li ikada izgubili avionsku kartu

a thousand times as you walked

tisuću puta nakon što ste otišli s

from the check-in to the gate?

check-ina do ulaza?

Yes.

Da.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Jeste li ikada obukli hlače

and then much later realized that there was

i onda mnogo kasnije shvatili da vam

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

je izgubljena čarapa zaljepljena za bedro?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Good.

Dobro.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Jeste li ikada pokušali pogoditi nečiju lozinku

so many times that it locked their account?

toliko puta da ste mu zaključali račun?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Jeste li ikada bili zabrinuti da biste jednog dana

you will be discovered as a fraud?

mogli biti razotkriveni kao varalica?

Yes, it's safe here.

Da, sigurni ste ovdje.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Jeste li se ikada nadali da postoji neka sposobnost

you hadn't discovered yet

koju još niste otkrili,

that you were just naturally great at?

a u kojoj ste prirodno odlični?

Mmm.

Mmm

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Jeste li ikada u stvarnosti nešto pokvarili

and then found yourself looking

i onda se ulovili kako tražite

for an "undo" button in real life?

dugme za „poništi“ u stvarnom životu?

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

Jeste li ikada zametnuli svoju TED značku

and then immediately started imagining

i istovremeno počeli zamišljati

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

kako bi trodnevni odmor u Vancouveru mogao izgledati?

Have you ever marveled

Jeste li se ikada čudili

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

nekome za koga ste smatrali da je potpuno običan,

could suddenly become so beautiful?

a odjednom je postao tako lijep?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Jeste li ikada zurili u svoj telefon

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

smješkajući se poput idiota dok ste s nekime izmjenjivali poruke?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

Jeste li ikada nakon toga toj osobi napisali

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

frazu „Zurim u telefon i

smiling like an idiot"?

smješkam se poput idiota“?

Have you ever been tempted to,

Jeste li ikada bili u iskušenju

and then gave in to the temptation,

i na kraju popustili

of looking through someone else's phone?

da pogledate u nečiji tuđi mobitel?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Jeste li ikada vodili razgovor sa samim sobom

and then suddenly realized

i onda odjednom shvatilii

you're a real asshole to yourself?

da ste pravi kreten prema sebi?

(Laughter)

(Smijeh)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Je li vam se na mobitelu ikada baterija potrošila

in the middle of an argument,

do kraja usred rasprave

and it sort of felt like the phone

i imali ste osjećaj da je telefon

was breaking up with both of you?

prekinuo i s jednim i s drugim?

Have you ever thought

Jeste li ikada pomislili

that working on an issue between you was futile

da je rješavanje problema među vama uzaludno

because it should just be easier than this,

jer bi jednostavno trebalo biti lakše od ovoga

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

ili bi se trebalo dogoditi nekako prirodno?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Jeste li ikada primijetili da se veoma malo toga, dugoročno gledano,

just happens naturally?

jednostavno događa prirodno?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Jeste li se ikada probudili sretni

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

i odjednom bili preplavljeni groznim sjećanjem

that someone had left you?

da vas je netko napustio?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Jeste li ikada izgubili sposobnost da zamislite budućnost

without a person

bez osobe

that no longer was in your life?

koja više nije dio vašeg života?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Jeste li ikada pogledali unatrag i sjetili se nekog događaja

with the sad smile of autumn

sa tužnim osmijehom

and the realization that futures will happen

i sviješću da će se budućnost desiti

regardless?

unatoč tome?

Congratulations.

Čestitam.

You have now completed the test.

Završili ste test.

You are all human.

Svi ste vi ljudska bića.

(Applause)

(Pljesak)