Ze Frank: Are you human?

1,755,725 views ・ 2014-07-18

TED


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:12
(Music) This is the human test,
0
12736
3034
00:15
a test to see if you are a human.
1
15770
3520
00:19
Please raise your hand if something applies to you.
2
19290
4199
00:23
Are we agreed? Yes?
3
23489
3841
00:27
Then let's begin.
4
27330
2156
00:29
Have you ever eaten a booger
5
29486
1909
00:31
long past your childhood?
6
31395
2542
00:33
(Laughter)
7
33937
2646
00:36
It's okay, it's safe here.
8
36583
3578
00:40
Have you ever made a small, weird sound
9
40161
3349
00:43
when you remembered something embarrassing?
10
43510
5640
00:49
Have you ever purposely lowercased
11
49150
2056
00:51
the first letter of a text
12
51206
2104
00:53
in order to come across as sad or disappointed?
13
53310
4010
00:57
(Laughter)
14
57320
2134
00:59
Okay.
15
59454
2714
01:02
Have you ever ended a text with a period
16
62168
2772
01:04
as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.
17
64940
6710
01:11
Have you ever laughed or smiled
18
71650
2167
01:13
when someone said something shitty to you
19
73817
2672
01:16
and then spent the rest of the day
20
76489
1761
01:18
wondering why you reacted that way?
21
78250
4104
01:22
Yes.
22
82354
2178
01:24
Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket
23
84532
2760
01:27
a thousand times as you walked
24
87292
1888
01:29
from the check-in to the gate?
25
89180
3030
01:32
Yes.
26
92210
2050
01:34
Have you ever put on a pair of pants
27
94260
2577
01:36
and then much later realized that there was
28
96837
1839
01:38
a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?
29
98676
2632
01:41
(Laughter)
30
101308
1972
01:43
Good.
31
103280
2532
01:45
Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password
32
105812
2896
01:48
so many times that it locked their account?
33
108708
4277
01:52
Mmm.
34
112985
1689
01:54
Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day
35
114674
3146
01:57
you will be discovered as a fraud?
36
117820
4420
02:02
Yes, it's safe here.
37
122240
3074
02:05
Have you ever hoped that there was some ability
38
125314
2596
02:07
you hadn't discovered yet
39
127910
1930
02:09
that you were just naturally great at?
40
129840
3920
02:13
Mmm.
41
133760
1600
02:15
Have you ever broken something in real life,
42
135360
2904
02:18
and then found yourself looking
43
138264
1712
02:19
for an "undo" button in real life?
44
139976
5074
02:25
Have you ever misplaced your TED badge
45
145050
2182
02:27
and then immediately started imagining
46
147232
1568
02:28
what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?
47
148800
5029
02:35
Have you ever marveled
48
155523
1879
02:37
at how someone you thought was so ordinary
49
157402
3135
02:40
could suddenly become so beautiful?
50
160537
4409
02:44
Have you ever stared at your phone
51
164946
2064
02:47
smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?
52
167010
5450
02:52
Have you ever subsequently texted that person
53
172460
2360
02:54
the phrase "I'm staring at the phone
54
174820
2792
02:57
smiling like an idiot"?
55
177612
3546
03:01
Have you ever been tempted to,
56
181158
2070
03:03
and then gave in to the temptation,
57
183228
1938
03:05
of looking through someone else's phone?
58
185166
3945
03:09
Have you ever had a conversation with yourself
59
189111
2280
03:11
and then suddenly realized
60
191391
1984
03:13
you're a real asshole to yourself?
61
193375
3193
03:16
(Laughter)
62
196568
2407
03:18
Has your phone ever run out of battery
63
198975
2904
03:21
in the middle of an argument,
64
201879
2386
03:24
and it sort of felt like the phone
65
204265
1598
03:25
was breaking up with both of you?
66
205863
4052
03:29
Have you ever thought
67
209915
1598
03:31
that working on an issue between you was futile
68
211513
2970
03:34
because it should just be easier than this,
69
214483
2721
03:37
or this is supposed to happen just naturally?
70
217204
4744
03:41
Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,
71
221948
3408
03:45
just happens naturally?
72
225356
2456
03:47
Have you ever woken up blissfully
73
227812
3529
03:51
and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance
74
231341
2807
03:54
that someone had left you?
75
234148
3064
03:57
Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future
76
237212
2737
03:59
without a person
77
239949
1297
04:01
that no longer was in your life?
78
241246
3254
04:06
Have you ever looked back on that event
79
246418
2040
04:08
with the sad smile of autumn
80
248458
1908
04:10
and the realization that futures will happen
81
250366
3400
04:13
regardless?
82
253766
3135
04:16
Congratulations.
83
256901
2065
04:18
You have now completed the test.
84
258966
2375
04:21
You are all human.
85
261341
3199
04:24
(Applause)
86
264540
3514

Original video on YouTube.com
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7