Ze Frank: Are you human?

Translator: Arendse Lund Reviewer: Anders Finn Jørgensen

(Music) This is the human test,

(Musik) Dette er den menneskelige test

a test to see if you are a human.

en test for at se, om du er et menneske.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Venligst hæve din hånd, hvis noget gælder for dig.

Are we agreed? Yes?

Er vi enige? Ja?

Then let's begin.

Så lad os begynde.

Have you ever eaten a booger

Har du nogensinde spist en bussemand

long past your childhood?

længe efter din barndom?

(Laughter)

(Latter)

It's okay, it's safe here.

Det er okay, det er sikkert her.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Har du nogensinde lavet en lille, mærkelig lyd

when you remembered something embarrassing?

når du husket noget pinligt?

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Har du nogensinde med vilje skrevet med småt

the first letter of a text

det første bogstav i en SMS

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

med henblik på at komme på tværs som trist eller skuffet?

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Okay.

Okay.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Har du nogensinde sluttet en tekst med en punktum

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

som et tegn på aggression? Okay. Punktum.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Har du nogensinde leet eller smilet

when someone said something shitty to you

når nogen sagde noget lortet til dig

and then spent the rest of the day

og derefter tilbragte resten af ​​dagen

wondering why you reacted that way?

med at tænke over hvorfor du reagerede på den måde?

Yes.

Ja.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Har du nogensinde følt at du har mistet din flybillet

a thousand times as you walked

tusind gange mens du gik

from the check-in to the gate?

fra check-in til gaten?

Yes.

Ja.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Har du nogensinde trukket et par bukser på

and then much later realized that there was

for så meget senere at indse, at der sad

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

en løs sok fast mod din lår?

(Laughter)

(Latter.)

Good.

Godt.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Har du nogensinde prøvet at gætte en andens adgangskode

so many times that it locked their account?

så mange gange, at det låste deres konto?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Har du nogensinde haft en nagende fornemmelse, at en dag

you will be discovered as a fraud?

du vil blive opdaget som et bedrageri?

Yes, it's safe here.

Ja, du er sikker her.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Har du nogensinde håbet, at der var en vis evne

you hadn't discovered yet

du ikke havde opdaget endnu

that you were just naturally great at?

og du var bare var naturlig god til?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Har du nogensinde ødelagt noget i det virkelige liv,

and then found yourself looking

og så fandt dig selv søgende

for an "undo" button in real life?

efter en "fortryd"-knap i det virkelige liv?

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

Har du nogensinde forlagt din TED badge

and then immediately started imagining

og derefter straks begyndte at forestille

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

hvordan en tre dages Vancouver ferie ser ud?

Have you ever marveled

Har du nogensinde undret dig over

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

hvordan en person, du troede var så almindelig

could suddenly become so beautiful?

pludselig kunne blive så smuk?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Så du nogensinde på telefonen

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

og smilede som en idiot mens du sms'ede med nogen?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

Har du nogensinde efterfølgende sms'ede til denne person

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

sætningen "Jeg stirrer på telefonen

smiling like an idiot"?

og smiler som en idiot? "

Have you ever been tempted to,

Har du nogensinde været fristet til at,

and then gave in to the temptation,

og derefter gav efter for fristelsen,

of looking through someone else's phone?

af at kigge i en andens telefon?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Har du nogensinde haft en samtale med dig selv

and then suddenly realized

og så pludselig indse

you're a real asshole to yourself?

du er et rigtig røvhul mod dig selv?

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Har din telefon nogensinde løbede tør for batteri

in the middle of an argument,

i midten af et argument,

and it sort of felt like the phone

og det følte slags ligesom telefonen

was breaking up with both of you?

var ved at bryde op med jer begge to?

Have you ever thought

Har du nogensinde tænkt

that working on an issue between you was futile

at arbejde på et problem mellem jer var forgæves

because it should just be easier than this,

fordi det skal bare være nemmere end dette,

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

eller det er meningen at bare skulle ske naturligt?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Har du nogensinde indset, at meget lidt, i det lange løb,

just happens naturally?

bare sker naturligt?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Har du nogensinde vågnet op saligt

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

og pludselig blevet oversvømmet af den forfærdelige erindring

that someone had left you?

at nogen havde forladt dig?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Har du nogensinde mistet evnen til at forestille sig en fremtid

without a person

uden en person

that no longer was in your life?

som ikke længere var i dit liv?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Har du nogensinde kigget tilbage på denne begivenhed

with the sad smile of autumn

med den triste smil af efterår

and the realization that futures will happen

og erkendelsen af, at fremtiderne vil ske

regardless?

alligevel?

Congratulations.

Tillykke.

You have now completed the test.

I har nu gennemført testen.

You are all human.

I er alle mennesker.

(Applause)

(Bifald)