Ze Frank: Are you human?

Translator: Marc Ribatallada Reviewer: Blanca Busquets

(Music) This is the human test,

(Música) Això és la prova humana,

a test to see if you are a human.

una prova per veure si sou humans.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Alceu la mà si alguna d'aquestes coses us concerneix, si us plau.

Are we agreed? Yes?

D'acord? Sí?

Then let's begin.

Comencem doncs.

Have you ever eaten a booger

Us heu menjat mai un moc

long past your childhood?

ja d'adults?

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

It's okay, it's safe here.

No passa res, aquí ho podeu dir.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Heu fet mai un sorollet estrany

when you remembered something embarrassing?

quan heu recordat alguna cosa vergonyosa?

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Heu escrit conscienment una minúscula

the first letter of a text

a l'inici d'un text

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

per expressar la vostra tristesa o decepció?

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

Okay.

Molt bé.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Heu acabat mai un text amb un punt

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

com a mostra d'agressivitat? Molt bé. Punt.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Heu rigut o somrigut

when someone said something shitty to you

quan algú us ha dit alguna cosa estúpida

and then spent the rest of the day

i us heu passat la resta del dia

wondering why you reacted that way?

intentant saber per què heu reaccionat així?

Yes.

Sí.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Heu tingut la sensació que perdieu el bitllet d'avió

a thousand times as you walked

una i altra vegada mentre anaveu

from the check-in to the gate?

de facturació fins a l'embarcament?

Yes.

Sí.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Us heu posat uns pantalons

and then much later realized that there was

i més tard us heu adonat que hi havia

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

un mitjó desaparellat aixafat contra la cuixa?

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

Good.

Bé.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Heu intentat endevinar la contrasenya d'algú

so many times that it locked their account?

tantes vegades que li heu bloquejat el compte?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Heu patit aquella incòmoda sensació que un dia

you will be discovered as a fraud?

la gent s'adonarà de que sou una enganyifa?

Yes, it's safe here.

Tranquils, aquí és segur.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Heu tingut l'esperança que

you hadn't discovered yet

hi hagi una habilitat que encara no sabeu

that you were just naturally great at?

i en la que sou els números u?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Heu trencat mai res a la vida real

and then found yourself looking

i us heu descobert buscant

for an "undo" button in real life?

el botó de "desfer"?

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

Heu perdut l'acreditació de TED

and then immediately started imagining

i immediatament us heu posat a pensar

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

com serien unes vacances de tres dies a Vancouver?

Have you ever marveled

No us heu quedat parats quan

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

algú que creieu tan ordinari

could suddenly become so beautiful?

ha resultat ser increïble?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Us heu quedat mai mirant el mòbil,

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

somrient com idiotes mentre enviàveu missatges a algú?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

I, a l'instant, li heu enviat un missatge a aquella persona

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

amb la frase "m'estic mirant el mòbil

smiling like an idiot"?

somrient com un idiota"?

Have you ever been tempted to,

Heu tingut mai la temptació,

and then gave in to the temptation,

i llavors hi heu acabat caient,

of looking through someone else's phone?

de tafanejar el telèfon mòbil d'algú altre?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Heu tingut mai una conversa amb vosaltres mateixos

and then suddenly realized

i us heu adonat, de cop i volta,

you're a real asshole to yourself?

que us estàveu tractant d'idiotes?

(Laughter)

(Rialles)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Us heu quedat mai sense bateria al telèfon

in the middle of an argument,

quan estàveu discutint amb algú

and it sort of felt like the phone

i heu tingut la sensació de que el mòbil

was breaking up with both of you?

no en volia saber res de cap dels dos?

Have you ever thought

Heu pensat mai que

that working on an issue between you was futile

intentar solucionar un problema entre tots dos era inútil

because it should just be easier than this,

perquè tot hauria de ser més fàcil,

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

o perquè és una cosa que hauria de passar de manera natural?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Heu descobert que hi ha molt poca cosa que, a la llarga,

just happens naturally?

passi de manera natural?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Us heu despertat mai contents

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

i, de cop i volta, us ha aclaparat el record

that someone had left you?

d'aquell algú que us ha deixat?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Heu perdut l'habilitat d'imaginar-vos un futur

without a person

sense aquella persona

that no longer was in your life?

que ja no és a les vostres vides?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Heu mirat enrere a aquell moment

with the sad smile of autumn

amb el somriure trist de l'ocàs

and the realization that futures will happen

i la certesa que el futur

regardless?

no té marxa enrere?

Congratulations.

Felicitats.

You have now completed the test.

Heu acabat la prova.

You are all human.

Tots sou humans.

(Applause)

(Aplaudiments)