Ze Frank: Are you human?

Translator: Dewi Barnas Reviewer: Damaarti Setyoningrum

(Music) This is the human test,

(Musik) Ini adalah tes 'manusiawi',

a test to see if you are a human.

sebuah tes untuk mengetahui apakah anda seorang manusia.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Tolong angkat tangan bila anda pernah mengalami ini.

Are we agreed? Yes?

Setuju? Ya?

Then let's begin.

Mari kita mulai.

Have you ever eaten a booger

Apakah anda pernah memakan upil

long past your childhood?

setelah anda tumbuh dewasa?

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

It's okay, it's safe here.

Tidak apa-apa, di sini aman.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Apakah anda pernah membuat suara kecil dan aneh

when you remembered something embarrassing?

ketika anda teringat hal yang memalukan?

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Pernahkah anda sengaja memakai huruf kecil

the first letter of a text

di awal kalimat ketika mengirim sms

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

untuk menunjukan rasa sedih atau kecewa?

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

Okay.

Baiklah.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Apakah anda pernah mengakhiri sebuah pesan dengan titik

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

sebagai sebuah tanda agresi?

Baiklah. Titik.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Apakah anda pernah tertawa atau tersenyum

when someone said something shitty to you

saat seseorang mengatakan sesuatu yang menyebalkan

and then spent the rest of the day

dan kemudian sepanjang hari itu

wondering why you reacted that way?

berpikir mengapa anda bereaksi demikian?

Yes.

Ya.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Apakah anda pernah merasa kehilangan tiket pesawat

a thousand times as you walked

seribu kali, ketika anda berjalan

from the check-in to the gate?

dari saat check-in hingga ruang tunggu?

Yes.

Ya.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Apakah anda pernah memakai celana

and then much later realized that there was

dan belakangan menyadari

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

ada sebuah kaus kaki longgar yang terjepit di paha anda?

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

Good.

Bagus.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Apakah anda pernah mencoba menebak kata sandi orang lain

so many times that it locked their account?

berkali-kali sampai akun mereka terkunci?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Apakah anda pernah merasa suatu hari

you will be discovered as a fraud?

orang-orang akan tahu bahwa anda seorang penipu?

Yes, it's safe here.

Ya, di sini aman.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Pernahkan anda berharap memiliki kemampuan

you hadn't discovered yet

yang belum anda temukan dan secara alami anda kuasai?

that you were just naturally great at?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Apakah anda pernah merusak sesuatu di kehidupan nyata,

and then found yourself looking

dan lalu mencari

for an "undo" button in real life?

sebuah tombol "batalkan" dalam kehidupan nyata?

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

Pernahkah anda salah menaruh lencana TED anda

and then immediately started imagining

dan kemudian membayangkan

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

indahnya liburan tiga hari di Vancouver?

Have you ever marveled

Apakah anda pernah mengagumi

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

bagaimana seseorang yang anda pikir begitu biasa

could suddenly become so beautiful?

tiba-tiba bisa menjadi begitu cantik?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Apakah anda pernah memandangi telepon anda

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

tersenyum seperti orang bodoh saat mengirim pesan pada seseorang?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

Apakah anda pernah lalu mengirimkan pesan pada orang tersebut,

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

"Aku lagi liatin telepon,

smiling like an idiot"?

dan senyum sendiri kayak orang bodoh"?

Have you ever been tempted to,

Apakah anda pernah tergoda,

and then gave in to the temptation,

dan kemudian mengikuti godaan itu,

of looking through someone else's phone?

untuk melihat telepon orang lain?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Apakah anda pernah bicara dengan diri sendiri

and then suddenly realized

dan kemudian sadar

you're a real asshole to yourself?

bahwa anda begitu brengsek kepada diri anda sendiri?

(Laughter)

(Tertawa)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Pernahkah baterai telepon anda tiba-tiba habis

in the middle of an argument,

di tengah perdebatan,

and it sort of felt like the phone

dan merasa seolah telepon tersebut

was breaking up with both of you?

memutuskan hubungan dengan anda berdua?

Have you ever thought

Apakah anda pernah berpikir

that working on an issue between you was futile

berusaha memperbaiki masalah di antara anda berdua itu sia-sia

because it should just be easier than this,

karena seharusnya tidak serumit ini,

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

atau seharusnya terjadi secara alami?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Apakah anda pernah menyadari

bahwa pada akhirnya, jarang sekali terjadi secara alami?

just happens naturally?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Apakah anda pernah terbangun dengan perasaan senang

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

dan seketika dibanjiri oleh kenangan buruk

that someone had left you?

bahwa seseorang telah meninggalkan anda?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Pernahkah anda tak lagi bisa membayangkan masa depan

without a person

tanpa seseorang...

that no longer was in your life?

...yang sudah tak ada lagi di hidup anda?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Pernahkah anda mengingat lagi kenangan itu

with the sad smile of autumn

dengan senyuman sedih musim gugur

and the realization that futures will happen

dan lalu tersadar bahwa masa depan akan tetap terjadi

regardless?

bagaimanapun juga?

Congratulations.

Selamat.

You have now completed the test.

Anda telah menyelesaikan tes.

You are all human.

Anda semua manusia.

(Applause)

(Tepuk tangan)