Ze Frank: Are you human?

Translator: Ilze Garda Reviewer: Kristaps Kadiķis

(Music) This is the human test,

(Mūzika) Šis ir cilvēku tests.

a test to see if you are a human.

Tests, lai pārbaudītu, vai esat cilvēks.

Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

Lūdzu, paceliet roku, ja kaut kas no minētā attiecas uz jums!

Are we agreed? Yes?

Esam sarunājuši? Ja?

Then let's begin.

Tad sākam!

Have you ever eaten a booger

Vai esat kādreiz ēduši puņķus,

long past your childhood?

jau pieaugušā vecumā?

(Laughter)

(Smiekli)

It's okay, it's safe here.

Viss kārtībā, šeit ir droši.

Have you ever made a small, weird sound

Vai esat kādreiz izdvesuši klusu, dīvainu skaņu,

when you remembered something embarrassing?

atceroties kādu neērtu situāciju?

(Nopūta)

Have you ever purposely lowercased

Vai esat kādreiz tīši

sākuši rakstīt īsziņu ar mazo burtu,

the first letter of a text

in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

lai radītu iespaidu, ka esat noskumuši vai vīlušies?

(Laughter)

(Smiekli)

Okay.

Labi.

Have you ever ended a text with a period

Vai esat kādreiz īsziņas beigās rakstījuši „Punkts.”,

as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

lai parādītu, ka esat agresīvi noskaņoti?

Labi. Punkts.

Have you ever laughed or smiled

Vai esat kādreiz smējušies vai smaidījuši,

when someone said something shitty to you

kad kāds jums saka ko riebīgu,

and then spent the rest of the day

un tad pavadījuši atlikušo dienas daļu,

wondering why you reacted that way?

prātojot, kāpēc tā reaģējāt?

Yes.

Jā.

Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

Vai jums kādreiz ir šķitis, ka jūsu lidmašīnas biļete pazūd

a thousand times as you walked

vai tūkstošiem reižu, kamēr nokļūstat

from the check-in to the gate?

no reģistrācijas līdz izejai uz lidmašīnu?

Yes.

Jā.

Have you ever put on a pair of pants

Vai esat kādreiz uzvilkuši bikses

and then much later realized that there was

un tad vēlāk pamanījuši,

a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

ka tās starā pie augšstilba ir iemīcīta nomaldījusies zeķe?

(Laughter)

(Smiekli)

Good.

Labi.

Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

Vai esat kādreiz mēģinājuši uzminēt kāda cilvēka paroli

so many times that it locked their account?

tik daudz reižu, ka viņa kontu tādēļ nobloķē?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

Vai jums kādreiz ir bijusi tā smeldzīgā sajūta, ka kādu dienu

you will be discovered as a fraud?

cilvēki atklās, ka esat krāpies?

Yes, it's safe here.

Jā, šeit ir droši.

Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

Vai esat kādreiz cerējuši, ka ir kāda spēja,

you hadn't discovered yet

ko vēl neesat atklājuši,

that you were just naturally great at?

bet kurā jums ir dabas dots talants?

Mmm.

Mmm.

Have you ever broken something in real life,

Vai esat kādreiz ko saplēsuši — realitātē —

and then found yourself looking

un tad attapušies meklējam

for an "undo" button in real life?

„Atsaukt” pogu — realitātē?

Vai esat kādreiz pazaudējuši savu TED vārda karti

Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

and then immediately started imagining

un tūlīt pat sākuši iztēloties,

what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

kāds varētu izvērsties trīs dienu atvaļinājums Vankūverā?

Have you ever marveled

Vai esat kādreiz brīnījušies,

at how someone you thought was so ordinary

kā kāds, kuru uzskatījāt par pavisam parastu,

could suddenly become so beautiful?

pēkšņi varēja kļūt tik skaists?

Have you ever stared at your phone

Vai esat kādreiz blenzuši telefonā un muļķīgi smaidījuši,

smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

ar kādu sarakstoties?

Have you ever subsequently texted that person

Vai esat kādreiz šim cilvēkam pēc tam rakstījuši

the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

šos vārdus: „Es blenžu telefonā

smiling like an idiot"?

un muļķīgi smaidu”?

Have you ever been tempted to,

Vai jums kādreiz ir bijis kārdinājums

and then gave in to the temptation,

un tad esat krituši kārdinājumā

of looking through someone else's phone?

ieskatīties cita cilvēka telefonā?

Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

Vai esat kādreiz sarunājušies ar sevi

and then suddenly realized

un tad pēkšņi atskārtuši,

you're a real asshole to yourself?

ka izturaties pret sevi kā īsts kretīns?

(Laughter)

(Smiekli)

Has your phone ever run out of battery

Vai jūsu telefonam kādreiz ir beigusies baterija

in the middle of an argument,

strīda karstumā,

and it sort of felt like the phone

un jums ir šķitis, ka telefons

was breaking up with both of you?

grib pamest jūs abus?

Have you ever thought

Vai jums kādreiz ir šķitis,

that working on an issue between you was futile

ka kāda jautājuma risināšana starp jums abiem ir bezjēdzīga,

because it should just be easier than this,

jo tam būtu jābūt vieglāk

or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

vai tam vienkārši būtu jānotiek dabiski?

Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

Vai jums kādreiz ir ienācis prātā, ka ilgtermiņā

just happens naturally?

reti kas notiek dabiski?

Have you ever woken up blissfully

Vai esat kādreiz pamodušies pilnīgā svētlaimē

and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

un tad pēkšņi sabrukuši, atceroties,

that someone had left you?

ka kāds jūs ir pametis?

Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

Vai esat kādreiz zaudējuši spēju iztēloties nākotni

without a person

bez cilvēka,

that no longer was in your life?

kura jūsu dzīvē vairāk nav?

Have you ever looked back on that event

Vai esat kādreiz atskatījušies uz šo gadījumu

with the sad smile of autumn

ar rudenīgi skumju smaidu

and the realization that futures will happen

un apjausmu, ka nākotnes būs

regardless?

tik un tā?

Congratulations.

Apsveicu!

You have now completed the test.

Jūs esat pabeiguši testu.

You are all human.

Jūs visi esat cilvēki.

(Applause)

(Aplausi)