How to make work-life balance work | Nigel Marsh

Translator: Peter Bukovnik Reviewer: Petra Pekovec

What I thought I would do

Mislil sem začeti tako,

is I would start with a simple request.

da bi vas prosil za nekaj preprostega.

I'd like all of you

Prosil bi vas, da vsi

to pause for a moment,

za trenutek obstanete,

you wretched weaklings,

vi nesrečni slabotneži,

and take stock of your miserable existence.

in analizirate svoj beden obstoj.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Now that was the advice

To je bil nasvet,

that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers

ki ga je sv. Benedikt dal svojim precej vznemirjenim privržencem

in the fifth century.

v petem stoletju.

It was the advice that I decided to follow myself

To je bil nasvet, ki sem se ga odločil slediti,

when I turned 40.

ko sem dopolnil 40 let.

Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior --

Do takrat sem bil klasičen korporacijski bojevnik -

I was eating too much, I was drinking too much,

jedel sem preveč, pil sem preveč,

I was working too hard

preveč sem delal

and I was neglecting the family.

in zanemarjal družino.

And I decided that I would try

Odločil sem se, da poskusim

and turn my life around.

spremeniti svoje življenje.

In particular, I decided

Konkretneje, odločil sem se,

I would try to address the thorny issue

da poskusim rešiti mučen problem

of work-life balance.

ravnotežja med delom in življenjem.

So I stepped back from the workforce,

Izstopil sem iz delovne sile

and I spent a year at home

in preživel leto dni doma

with my wife and four young children.

z mojo ženi in s štirimi otroki.

But all I learned about work-life balance

Vse kar sem se naučil o ravnotežju med delom

from that year

in življenjem v tem letu

was that I found it quite easy

je bilo to, da je dokaj preprosto

to balance work and life

uravnotežiti delo in življenje,

when I didn't have any work.

ko nisem imel dela.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Not a very useful skill,

Nič kaj uporabna veščina,

especially when the money runs out.

posebej ko zmanjka denarja.

So I went back to work,

Tako sem šel spet v službo,

and I've spent these seven years since

in posvetil sedem let

struggling with, studying

boju, preučevanju

and writing about work-life balance.

in pisanju o ravnotežju med delom in življenjem.

And I have four observations

Prišel sem do štirih ugotovitev,

I'd like to share with you today.

ki bi jih danes želel deliti z vami.

The first is:

Prva je ta, če želi

if society's to make any progress on this issue,

družba doseči kakšen napredek pri temu vprašanju,

we need an honest debate.

rabimo iskreno debato.

But the trouble is

Problem pa je,

so many people talk so much rubbish

da mnogo ljudi govori veliko neumnosti

about work-life balance.

o ravnotežju med delom in življenjem.

All the discussions about flexi-time

Vse te diskusije o fleksibilnem času,

or dress-down Fridays

ali modno sproščenih petkih,

or paternity leave

ali očetovskem dopustu,

only serve to mask the core issue,

služijo le maskiranju primarnega problema,

which is

ki je,

that certain job and career choices

da nekatere službe in karierne izbire

are fundamentally incompatible

nikakor ne omogočajo

with being meaningfully engaged

vsakodnevnega posvečanja

on a day-to-day basis

polne pozornosti

with a young family.

vaši mladi družini.

Now the first step in solving any problem

Prvi korak k reševanju kateregakoli problema

is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in.

je zavedanje realne situacije v kateri ste.

And the reality of the society that we're in

In realnost današnje družbe v kateri živimo

is there are thousands and thousands

je takšna, da obstaja tisoče in tisoče

of people out there

ljudi okoli nas,

leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation,

ki živijo v tihem, a kričečem obupu,

where they work long, hard hours

v katerem delajo dolge, naporne ure

at jobs they hate

v službah, ki jih sovražijo,

to enable them to buy things they don't need

da si potem lahko kupujejo stvari, ki ji ne rabijo,

to impress people they don't like.

da bi naredili vtis na ljudi, ki jih ne marajo.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

(Applause)

(aplavz)

It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt

Moje mnenje je, da se petkov odhod na delo v kavbojkah in majici

isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.

v resnici ne dotika bistva problema.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

The second observation I'd like to make

Drugo odkritje, ki bi ga rad delil,

is we need to face the truth

je to da, se moramo soočiti z resnico,

that governments and corporations

ki je, da vlade in korporacije

aren't going to solve this issue for us.

ne bodo rešile tega problema namesto nas.

We should stop looking outside.

Moramo prenehati gledati navzven;

It's up to us as individuals

mi kot posamezniki

to take control and responsibility

moramo prevzeti kontrolo in odgovornost

for the type of lives that we want to lead.

za način življenja, ki si ga želimo živeti.

If you don't design your life,

Če ne boste sami kreirali svojega življenja,

someone else will design it for you,

ga bo namesto vas nekdo drug

and you may just not like

in mogoče vam ne bo ravno všeč

their idea of balance.

njihova ideja o ravnotežju.

It's particularly important --

Zelo je pomembno -

this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired --

tega ni na internetu, kajne ... dobil bom odpoved -

it's particularly important

zelo je pomembno,

that you never put the quality of your life

da nikoli ne prepustite kvalitete vašega življenja

in the hands of a commercial corporation.

v roke komercialnim korporacijam.

Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies --

Ne govorim samo o slabih podjetjih -

the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them.

klavnicah človeških duš, kot jih poimenujem.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

I'm talking about all companies.

Govorim o vseh podjetjih.

Because commercial companies

Kajti komercialna podjetja

are inherently designed

so oblikovana tako,

to get as much out of you [as]

da vzamejo od vas toliko

they can get away with.

kolikor lahko.

It's in their nature; it's in their DNA;

To je v njihovi naravi, v njihovem DNK,

it's what they do --

to je tisto kar delajo

even the good, well-intentioned companies.

celo dobra podjetja z dobrimi nameni.

On the one hand,

Po eni strani

putting childcare facilities in the workplace

je dati otroke v skrbništvo na delovnem mestu

is wonderful and enlightened.

čudovito in razsvetljujoče.

On the other hand, it's a nightmare --

Po drugi strani, pa je to nočna mora,

it just means you spend more time at the bloody office.

ker to pomeni, da preživiš več časa v prekleti pisarni.

We have to be responsible

Moramo biti odgovorni

for setting and enforcing

za oblikovanje in uveljavljanje

the boundaries that we want in our life.

svojih okvirov, ki si jih želimo v življenju.

The third observation is

Tretja ugotovitev je,

we have to be careful

da moramo biti previdni

with the time frame that we choose

kateri časovni termin izberemo,

upon which to judge our balance.

na podlagi katerega ocenjujemo naše ravnotežje.

Before I went back to work

Preden sem šel nazaj v službo,

after my year at home,

po letu dni doma,

I sat down

sem se usedel

and I wrote out

in zapisal

a detailed, step-by-step description

natančen, postopen opis

of the ideal balanced day

svojega idealno uravnoteženega dneva

that I aspired to.

po katerem sem hrepenel.

And it went like this:

Bil je takšen:

wake up well rested

Zbuditi se spočit

after a good night's sleep.

po dobro prespani noči.

Have sex.

Seksati.

Walk the dog.

Sprehoditi psa.

Have breakfast with my wife and children.

Pozajtrkovati s svojo ženo in otroki.

Have sex again.

Spet seksati.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Drive the kids to school on the way to the office.

Odpeljati otroke v šolo na poti v službo.

Do three hours' work.

Delati tri ure.

Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime.

Športati s prijateljem v času kosila.

Do another three hours' work.

Spet delati tri ure.

Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.

Srečati se s prijatelji v lokalu na večerni pijači.

Drive home for dinner

Odpeljati se domov na večerjo

with my wife and kids.

z mojo ženo in otroki.

Meditate for half an hour.

Meditirati pol ure.

Have sex.

Seksati.

Walk the dog. Have sex again.

Sprehoditi psa. Spet seksati.

Go to bed.

Iti spat.

(Applause)

(aplavz)

How often do you think I have that day?

Kolikokrat mislite, da imam takšen dan?

(Laughter)

(smeh)

We need to be realistic.

Moramo biti realistični.

You can't do it all in one day.

Ne moremo vsega narediti v enem dnevu.

We need to elongate the time frame

Moramo razširiti časovni okvir,

upon which we judge the balance in our life,

na podlagi katerega ocenjujemo uravnoteženost našega življenja,

but we need to elongate it

vendar ga moramo razširiti,

without falling into the trap

ne da bi se pri tem ujeli v past:

of the "I'll have a life when I retire,

"Imel bom takšno življenje, ko se upokojim,

when my kids have left home,

ko se moji otroci odselijo,

when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing,

ko se z žena ločiva, ko me zdravje zapusti,

I've got no mates or interests left."

ko ne bom imel več nobenega prijatelja ali hobija."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long.

Dan je prekratek, ko se bom upokojil, bo predolg.

There's got to be a middle way.

Tukaj mora biti srednja pot.

A fourth observation:

Četrta ugotovitev:

We need to approach balance

K uravnoteženosti moramo pristopiti

in a balanced way.

na uravnotežen način.

A friend came to see me last year --

Prejšnje leto me je obiskala prijateljica -

and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year

ne bo mi zamerila, če povem to zgodbo - prijateljica me je obiskala prejšnje leto

and said, "Nigel, I've read your book.

in rekla: "Nigel, prebrala sem tvojo knjigo.

And I realize that my life is completely out of balance.

In ugotovila, da je moje življenje popolnoma neuravnoteženo.

It's totally dominated by work.

Popolnoma je podrejeno delu.

I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day.

V službi sem 10 ur na dan, vozim se dve uri na dan.

All of my relationships have failed.

Vse moje zveze so propadle.

There's nothing in my life

Nič več ni ostalo v mojem življenju,

apart from my work.

razen moje službe.

So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out.

Tako sem se odločila, da zagrabim in uredim stvari.

So I joined a gym."

Vpisala sem se na vadbo."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Now I don't mean to mock,

Ne želim se posmehovati,

but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat

ampak biti 10 urna pisarniška miška v kondiciji

isn't more balanced; it's more fit.

ni uravnoteženost, ampak biti v boljši kondiciji.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Lovely though physical exercise may be,

Kakorkoli že je fizična vadba lahko prijetna,

there are other parts to life --

so tukaj tudi druge plati življenja.

there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side;

Intelektualna plat, čustvena plat,

there's the spiritual side.

tukaj je tudi duhovna plat.

And to be balanced,

Da imamo uravnoteženo življenje,

I believe we have to attend

verjamem, da se moramo posvetiti

to all of those areas --

vsem tem platem -

not just do 50 stomach crunches.

ne le narediti 50 trebušnjakov.

Now that can be daunting.

To je lahko težko.

Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit.

Ljudje pravijo: "Prekleto prijatelj, nimam časa, da postanem fit;

You want me to go to church and call my mother."

ti želiš, da grem v cerkev in pokličem svojo mater."

And I understand.

In jaz razumem.

I truly understand how that can be daunting.

Resnično razumem, da je to lahko težko.

But an incident that happened a couple of years ago

Ampak, pred nekaj leti se mi je zgodilo nekaj,

gave me a new perspective.

kar mi je dalo nov pogled.

My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today,

Moja žena, ki je sedaj nekje v občinstvu,

called me up at the office

me je poklicala iz pisarne

and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" --

in rekla: "Nigel, danes moraš ti iti iskat najinega najmlajšega sina",

Harry -- "up from school."

Harry "iz šole".

Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.

Ker ona je morala biti tisti večer nekje drugje z ostalimi tremi otroki.

So I left work an hour early that afternoon

Tako sem tistega popoldneva odšel eno uro prej iz službe

and picked Harry up at the school gates.

in pred šolskimi vrati pobral Harrya.

We walked down to the local park,

Sprehodila sva se do krajevnega parka,

messed around on the swings, played some silly games.

se zabavala na gugalnicah in se šla neke smešne igrice.

I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe,

Nato sva odšla v lokalni bar na hribu,

and we shared a pizza for two,

skupaj jedla pico in pila čaj,

then walked down the hill to our home,

se sprehodila po hribu navzdol proti domu,

and I gave him his bath

nato sem ga skopal

and put him in his Batman pajamas.

in ga oblekel v njegovo Batman pižamo.

I then read him a chapter

Nato sem mu prebral odlomek

of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."

iz knjige Roalda Dahla "James in velikanska breskev".

I then put him to bed, tucked him in,

Nato sem ga polegel v posteljo, pokril,

gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate,"

poljubil na čelo in rekel: "Lahko noč, prijatelj",

and walked out of his bedroom.

ter odšel iz njegove sobe.

As I was walking out of his bedroom,

Ko sem odhajal iz njegove sobe,

he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?"

mi je rekel: "Oče?", odvrnil sem: "Da, prijatelj?"

He went, "Dad, this has been the best day

Rekel je: "Oče, to je bil najboljši dan

of my life, ever."

v celem mojem življenju."

I hadn't done anything,

Nič nisem naredil -

hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.

nisem ga peljal v Disney World ali mu kupil Playstation.

Now my point is

Moja poanta je,

the small things matter.

da male stvari štejejo.

Being more balanced

Imeti bolj uravnoteženo življenje

doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life.

ne pomeni dramatičnih preobratov v vašem življenju.

With the smallest investment

Z najmanjšim vlaganjem

in the right places,

na prava mesta

you can radically transform the quality of your relationships

lahko radikalno spremenite kvaliteto vaših odnosov

and the quality of your life.

in kvaliteto vašega življenja.

Moreover, I think,

Še več, mislim,

it can transform society.

da to lahko spremeni družbo.

Because if enough people do it,

Ker, če to stori dovolj ljudi,

we can change society's definition of success

lahko spremenimo družbeno definicijo uspeha,

away from the moronically simplistic notion

daleč od bebavega družbenega koncepta,

that the person with the most money when he dies wins,

da je zmagovalec tisti, ki umre z največ denarja,

to a more thoughtful and balanced definition

v bolj premišljeno in uravnoteženo definicijo,

of what a life well lived looks like.

ki daje pomen izpopolnjenemu življenju.

And that, I think,

In to, mislim, da je

is an idea worth spreading.

ideja, ki jo je vredno širiti.

(Applause)

(aplavz)