How to make work-life balance work | Nigel Marsh

譯者: Suet Mei Hau 審譯者: Sunny Kan Ngai Hang

What I thought I would do

我原本想做的是

is I would start with a simple request.

我會開始一個簡單的要求,

I'd like all of you

我想你們所有人

to pause for a moment,

暫時停下來,

you wretched weaklings,

你們這些可憐的弱者,

and take stock of your miserable existence.

點算一下過去難過的經驗,

(Laughter)

笑聲

Now that was the advice

現在, 這是一個

that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers

St. Benedict 在公元五世紀的時候

in the fifth century.

給他的追隨者的建議.

It was the advice that I decided to follow myself

這也是一個在我四十歲時

when I turned 40.

我決定追隨的建議。

Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior --

在四十歲之前, 我是一個典型的業界精英---

I was eating too much, I was drinking too much,

我吃得太多, 喝得太多,

I was working too hard

工作得太忙,

and I was neglecting the family.

以及我忽略了家庭。

And I decided that I would try

於是, 我決定嘗試

and turn my life around.

把我的生活來個徹底的改變。

In particular, I decided

尤其是, 我決定

I would try to address the thorny issue

我去回應那個最棘手的問題

of work-life balance.

就是工作和生活的平衡。

So I stepped back from the workforce,

於是,我從工作中退下來,

and I spent a year at home

我花了一年時間在家

with my wife and four young children.

和我的太太及四個孩子相處。

But all I learned about work-life balance

但我在那一年

from that year

所學習到的

was that I found it quite easy

是我發現當我根本不用工作的時候

to balance work and life

工作和生活的平衡

when I didn't have any work.

是很容易解決的

(Laughter)

笑聲

Not a very useful skill,

這不是一個有用的方法,

especially when the money runs out.

尤其是當錢慢慢用盡。

So I went back to work,

所以我回到工作,

and I've spent these seven years since

我用了七年的時候去

struggling with, studying

掙扎, 學習

and writing about work-life balance.

以及寫作有關工作和生活平衡。

And I have four observations

這樣, 我有了四個心得

I'd like to share with you today.

想今天跟大家一起分享

The first is:

第一是

if society's to make any progress on this issue,

如果社會需要在這議題上有所進展

we need an honest debate.

我們需要一個誠實的討論。

But the trouble is

但問題是

so many people talk so much rubbish

太多人對工作和生活的平衡

about work-life balance.

表達了毫無意義的言論.

All the discussions about flexi-time

所有關於彈性上班時間

or dress-down Fridays

或是星期五穿得輕鬆

or paternity leave

或是父親的待產假等

only serve to mask the core issue,

都只是把核心問題模糊了,

which is

這是

that certain job and career choices

有一定特定的工作及職業種類

are fundamentally incompatible

是基本上並不適合

with being meaningfully engaged

恒常地全情投入的

on a day-to-day basis

以每天工作的形式投入的,

with a young family.

當你有一個年輕家庭時。

Now the first step in solving any problem

現在, 解決問題的第一步

is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in.

是確認你現實的處境。

And the reality of the society that we're in

以及現實的社會處境

is there are thousands and thousands

這是有千萬

of people out there

的人在這裡

leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation,

過著一些令人沮喪的生活,

where they work long, hard hours

他們長時間努力的

at jobs they hate

在做一份自己也討厭的工作

to enable them to buy things they don't need

令他們可以去買一些其實自己並不真正需要的東西

to impress people they don't like.

去討好一些自己其實不喜歡的人。

(Laughter)

笑聲

(Applause)

掌聲

It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt

我的論點是, 星期五穿T 恤牛仔褲

isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.

並沒有處理問題的核心。

(Laughter)

笑聲

The second observation I'd like to make

第二個觀察是, 我認為

is we need to face the truth

我們需要面對真相

that governments and corporations

政府和大型企業

aren't going to solve this issue for us.

並不準備去為我們解決這些問題。

We should stop looking outside.

我們應該停止外望;

It's up to us as individuals

這是我們個人

to take control and responsibility

去控制和負責任

for the type of lives that we want to lead.

為我們想為的生活而爭取。

If you don't design your life,

如果你不計畫你的人生,

someone else will design it for you,

那麼別人便會代你去設計這一切,

and you may just not like

可能你並不喜歡這個

their idea of balance.

平衡的概念。

It's particularly important --

最重要的是-----

this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired --

這不是在互聯網, 當我差不多快要給別人裁掉--

it's particularly important

最重要的是

that you never put the quality of your life

你不要把你的生活質素

in the hands of a commercial corporation.

交到商業企業的手裡。

Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies --

我說的不只是那些壞企業----

the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them.

我稱他們為人類靈魂的屠場。

(Laughter)

笑聲

I'm talking about all companies.

我是說 所有的企業。

Because commercial companies

因為商業公司

are inherently designed

是天生設計成

to get as much out of you [as]

去搾取你的所有

they can get away with.

而同時逃避責任.

It's in their nature; it's in their DNA;

這是他們的本性, 是他們的基因,

it's what they do --

這是他們所做的---

even the good, well-intentioned companies.

即使是好的, 有良心的公司。

On the one hand,

一方面,

putting childcare facilities in the workplace

把照顧幼兒 的設備放在工作間

is wonderful and enlightened.

是很好和開明的

On the other hand, it's a nightmare --

但另一方面, 也是一個惡夢

it just means you spend more time at the bloody office.

這代表你需要花更多的時間在這血腥的工作間

We have to be responsible

我們要負責

for setting and enforcing

為設定及持守

the boundaries that we want in our life.

我們生活的界限

The third observation is

第三個觀察是

we have to be careful

我們需要考慮

with the time frame that we choose

究竟我們怎樣去選擇那個時間框架

upon which to judge our balance.

去衡量自己的生活是否平衡

Before I went back to work

在我回到工作之前

after my year at home,

我過了一年在家的日子之後,

I sat down

我坐下來

and I wrote out

我寫下

a detailed, step-by-step description

一個很詳盡的, 一步一步的描述

of the ideal balanced day

關於我渴望的理想

that I aspired to.

平衡生活日程

And it went like this:

它應該是這樣的:

wake up well rested

充份的休息之後

after a good night's sleep.

精神的醒來

Have sex.

有性生活。

Walk the dog.

和小狗散步。

Have breakfast with my wife and children.

和太太及孩子共進早餐。

Have sex again.

再有性。

(Laughter)

笑聲

Drive the kids to school on the way to the office.

上班途中開車送孩子上學。

Do three hours' work.

工作三小時。

Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime.

午飯時間和朋友做運動。

Do another three hours' work.

另外再工作三小時。

Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.

和一些朋友在酒吧喝點東西。

Drive home for dinner

開車回家晚飯

with my wife and kids.

和太太, 孩子在一起。

Meditate for half an hour.

靜修半小時。

Have sex.

有性。

Walk the dog. Have sex again.

和小狗散步, 再有一次性。

Go to bed.

上床睡覺。

(Applause)

掌聲

How often do you think I have that day?

你想我究竟多久才有一天這樣的日子

(Laughter)

笑聲

We need to be realistic.

我們需要現實一點。

You can't do it all in one day.

你不能在一天內做了所有這些東西。

We need to elongate the time frame

我們需要去拉長我們的時間框架

upon which we judge the balance in our life,

才可以評定 我們的生活是否平衡。

but we need to elongate it

但我們需要拉長時間

without falling into the trap

而不致墮入

of the "I'll have a life when I retire,

那個: "當我 退休之後, 我的生活是

when my kids have left home,

當我的孩子獨立,

when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing,

當我的妻子跟我離婚, 而我的健康也衰退,

I've got no mates or interests left."

我沒有朋友, 也沒有興趣。"

(Laughter)

笑聲

A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long.

一天是太短, 但退休後的時間框架卻是太長

There's got to be a middle way.

這應該找著一個中間點

A fourth observation:

第四個觀察

We need to approach balance

我們應該去接近平衡

in a balanced way.

以一個平衡的方法。

A friend came to see me last year --

去年, 我有一個朋友跟我見面---

and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year

她並不介意我講這個故事---去年有一個朋友跟我見面

and said, "Nigel, I've read your book.

她說: Nigel, 我 看過你的書

And I realize that my life is completely out of balance.

我發現我的生活是完全並不平衡。

It's totally dominated by work.

我被工作佔據了。

I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day.

我一天工作十小時, 交通時間兩小時。

All of my relationships have failed.

我的所有人際關係都是失敗。

There's nothing in my life

我的人生沒有餘下什麼

apart from my work.

除了我的工作之外

So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out.

於是, 我決定去要鎮靜一下, 以及解決問題。

So I joined a gym."

於是我參加了健體班。

(Laughter)

笑聲

Now I don't mean to mock,

現在, 我不是想嘲笑她,

but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat

但當在辦公室已經操練了十小時的老鼠

isn't more balanced; it's more fit.

這個健體班是不是更平衡, 更操練。

(Laughter)

笑聲

Lovely though physical exercise may be,

可愛地, 雖然運動可能

there are other parts to life --

是生活的其 他部份。

there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side;

但這裡有思想的部份, 也是情感的部份,

there's the spiritual side.

也有靈性的部份。

And to be balanced,

需要平衡的,

I believe we have to attend

我相信我們需要去關注

to all of those areas --

這當中的所有範圍----

not just do 50 stomach crunches.

而不只是做五十下仰卧起坐。

Now that can be daunting.

這可能會讓人氣餒的。

Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit.

因為人們常說: 可怕的地獄朋友, 我沒有去健身

You want me to go to church and call my mother."

你想我去教堂還是打電話給我的媽媽。

And I understand.

這個我明白。

I truly understand how that can be daunting.

我真實的明白這些怎樣令人氣餒。

But an incident that happened a couple of years ago

但數年前發生的一件事

gave me a new perspective.

卻給了我一個新的角度。

My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today,

我的太太, 她今天也在聽眾當中,

called me up at the office

打電話到我的辦公室

and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" --

說: Nigel, 你需要接最小的兒子

Harry -- "up from school."

哈利放學。

Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.

因為她那天要跟另外三個孩子到其他地方。

So I left work an hour early that afternoon

於是, 我那天早點離開公司

and picked Harry up at the school gates.

接在學校門外接哈利。

We walked down to the local park,

我們在附近的公園走了一陣子,

messed around on the swings, played some silly games.

玩一些韆鞦之類的無聊遊戲。

I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe,

跟著, 我和他走上小山去喝下午茶,

and we shared a pizza for two,

我們共吃一份意大利薄餅,

then walked down the hill to our home,

跟著我們走下山回家,

and I gave him his bath

我給他洗澡

and put him in his Batman pajamas.

給他穿上了蝙蝠俠睡衣。

I then read him a chapter

跟著, 我給他讀了一個章節的

of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."

Roald Dahl 的"占利和巨大桃子"的書。

I then put him to bed, tucked him in,

於是, 我安排他上床睡覺,

gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate,"

我吻了他的前額說: "晚安, 老弟!"

and walked out of his bedroom.

走出了他的睡房。

As I was walking out of his bedroom,

當我正走出去的時候,

he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?"

他說: "爸?" 我說: "怎樣, 老弟?"

He went, "Dad, this has been the best day

他說: "爸, 這是我有生以來

of my life, ever."

最好的一天。"

I hadn't done anything,

我沒有做些什麼,

hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.

沒有帶他到迪士尼樂園, 或是給他買部playstation 遊戲機。

Now my point is

現在, 我想說的是

the small things matter.

小事才是重要。

Being more balanced

要想做到更平衡

doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life.

並不表示要剎時間提昇你的生活。

With the smallest investment

用最小的投資

in the right places,

在適當的地方,

you can radically transform the quality of your relationships

你可以根本地轉化你的關係

and the quality of your life.

以及你生活的質素。

Moreover, I think,

還有, 我想

it can transform society.

這還可以轉化社會。

Because if enough people do it,

因為假如有足够的人去做,

we can change society's definition of success

我們甚至可以改變社會對成功的定義

away from the moronically simplistic notion

成功不只是一個簡化了的概念

that the person with the most money when he dies wins,

即成功只是追求人死的時候, 要有更多的錢

to a more thoughtful and balanced definition

而是去思考一個更有深度和多面性的定義

of what a life well lived looks like.

關於活得好的生命應該如何。

And that, I think,

這樣, 我想

is an idea worth spreading.

也是一個值得宣揚的意念。

(Applause)

掌聲