How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure | TED

Translator: Fazo fazer Reviewer: Enzo Amore

The human voice:

Inson ovozi:

barchamiz foydalanadigan vosita.

It's the instrument we all play.

It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably.

Balki dunyodagi eng kuchli tovushdir.

U urushni boshlashi, yoki “Men seni sevaman” deyishi mumkin.

It's the only one that can start a war or say "I love you."

And yet many people have the experience

Ko’pchilikda shunday tajriba bo'lganki

that when they speak, people don't listen to them.

siz gapirasiz, lekin sizni tinglashmaydi.

And why is that?

Nega bunday?

How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?

Qanday qilib dunyoni o’zgartira oladigan, nutq kuchiga ega bo’lishimiz mumkin?

What I'd like to suggest,

Menda bir taklif bor:

there are a number of habits that we need to move away from.

Xalos bo’lishimiz kerak bo’lgan bir qator odatlarimiz bor.

I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking.

Sizning e’tiborngiz uchun, men muloqotda 7 asosiy gunohlarni to’pladim.

I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list,

Men bu ro’yxat to’liq demoqchi emasman,

but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.

lekin bularning 7 tasi, barchamizda uchraydigan odatlardir.

Birinchisi – g’iybatchilik.

First, gossip.

Speaking ill of somebody who's not present.

Kimningdir orqasidan gapirish.

Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well

Juda yomon odat va hammaga ma’lumki,

the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.

yonimizda g’iybat qilganlar, 5 daqiqadan so’ng, biz haqimizda g’iybat qilishadi.

Second, judging.

Ikkinchisi – hukm qilish.

We know people who are like this in conversation,

Suhbatda bunday qilishni yoqtiradiganlarni bilamiz,

and it's very hard to listen to somebody

va bunday kishilarni tinglash qiyin,

if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.

chunki ular bizni ham shu paytning o'zida hukm qilishlari mumkin.

Uchinchisi – salbiylik. Unga

Third, negativity.

You can fall into this.

osongina yengilish mumkin.

My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative,

Onam so’nggi yillarida juda salbiy bo’lib qolgan edilar, ularni

and it's hard to listen.

tinglash qiyin bo’lgan edi.

Bir kuni men ularga : “Bugun 1-oktabr” – dedim.

I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today,"

and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?"

Ular esa: “Bilaman, bu daxshatli emasmi?”.

(Kulgi)

(Laughter)

It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative.

Kimdir salbiy bo’lsa, uni tinglash juda qiyin.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

And another form of negativity, complaining.

Salbiylikning yana bir shakli – nolish.

Well, this is the national art of the U.K.

Bu Buyuk Britaniyaning milliy san’atidir.

It's our national sport.

Bizning milliy sportimiz.

We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything,

Biz ob-havodan, sportdan, politikadan, hullas barcha narsadan nolimiz.

but actually, complaining is viral misery.

Lekin nolish – virus falokati kabidir.

It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.

U dunyoda nur va yorug'lik tarqatmaydi.

Excuses.

Bahona qidirish.

Bunga duch kelgandirsiz.

We've all met this guy.

Maybe we've all been this guy.

Ba’zan biz ham bahona izlaymiz.

Some people have a blamethrower.

Ba’zilar boshqalarni ayblash bilan har doim ovora.

They just pass it on to everybody else

Ular aybni kimga bo’sayam tashashadi

and don't take responsibility for their actions,

va ma’sulyatni o’z bo’ynilariga olishmaydi.

Kimnidir bunday xatti harakatlarini qabul qilish qiyin.

and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.

Penultimate, the sixth of the seven,

Yettitadan oltinchisi bu –

embroidery, exaggeration.

bo’rttirmoq, mubolag’a.

It demeans our language, actually, sometimes.

Ba’zan bu bizning leksikamizni kambag’allashtiradi.

For example, if I see something that really is awesome,

Masalan, agarda men rostdan ham zo’r narsani ko’rsam,

what do I call it?

men uni qanday baholayman?

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying,

keyin esa, bu mubolag’a yolg’onga aylanadi, mutloq yolg’on bo’ladi,

and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.

yolg’on gapiradiganlarni esa eshitishni hech kim istamaydi.

And finally, dogmatism.

Va nihoyat – dogmatism.

The confusion of facts with opinions.

Fakt va fikrlarni bir-birlari bilan aralashtirish.

When those two things get conflated,

Qachonki bunday narsa sodir bo'lganda,

you're listening into the wind.

bekorga vaqt ketgan bo'ladi.

You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true.

Boshqalarning fikrini sizga gapirishadi, huddi haqiqatdek.

It's difficult to listen to that.

Buni tinglash qiyin.

So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking.

Mana ular, muloqotning eng asosiy 7 ta gunohi.

These are things I think we need to avoid.

Biz ulardan qutilishimiz lozim deb hisoblayman.

Lekin, bularni yengish uchun konstruktiv yo’l bormi?

But is there a positive way to think about this?

Yes, there is.

Ha bor.

I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations,

Men sizlarga 4 asosiy poydevorni taklif qilmoqchiman,

that we can stand on if we want our speech

ularga tayanib, sizning ovozingiz kuchli

to be powerful and to make change in the world.

va dunyoni o’zgartira oladigan bo’ladi.

Fortunately, these things spell a word.

Ularning to’rtasi bitta so’zni hosil qilishadi.

The word is "hail," and it has a great definition as well.

Bu HAIL (Do'l) so’zi (matnda SHHS) va u juda ajoyib ma’noga ega.

I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky

Men osmondan boshga tushadigan narsalar

and hits you on the head.

haqida etmoqchi emasman.

I'm talking about this definition,

Men: “hursand salomlashish”

to greet or acclaim enthusiastically,

haqida gapiryapman,

shu 4 bandni bajarsak, so'zlarimizni albatta

which is how I think our words will be received

if we stand on these four things.

to'gri qabul qilishadi.

So what do they stand for?

Demak,harflarning ma’nosi nima?

See if you can guess.

Ko’ramiz, payqa olasizmi.

The H, honesty, of course,

S – samimiylik,

being true in what you say, being straight and clear.

rostgo’y, to’g’ri so’z va tushunarli bo’lish degani.

The A is authenticity, just being yourself.

H – haqiqiylik. Haqiqiy bo’lish.

A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth,

Mening do’stim buni insonning haqiqiy timsoli deb tariflagan,

which I think is a lovely way to put it.

menimcha, bu juda qiziqdir.

The I is integrity, being your word,

H – halollik. So’zda turish,

etgan narsalarni qilish,

actually doing what you say,

and being somebody people can trust.

ishonchli odam bo’lish.

And the L is love.

Va S – sevgi.

Men romantik sevgi haqida emas,

I don't mean romantic love,

but I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons.

balki insonlar 2 sabablarga ko’ra yaxshilik tilash haqida aytamoqdaman.

First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want.

Birinchidan, men mutloq halollik, bizga kerak emas, deb ishonaman.

Masalan: “Voybo, bugun ko’rinishlaring juda yomon ku!”

I mean, my goodness, you look ugly this morning.

Perhaps that's not necessary.

Balki, bunday deyish zarur emas.

Lekin sevgi bilan muvozanatlangan haqiqat – ajoyib narsa.

Tempered with love, of course, honesty is a great thing.

But also, if you're really wishing somebody well,

Agar chindan ham insonlarga yaxshilik tilasak,

it's very hard to judge them at the same time.

bir vaqtning o’zida ularni hukm ham qilish juda qiyin.

Menimcha, ularni bir vaqta qilish mumkin ham emas.

I'm not even sure you can do those two things simultaneously.

So hail.

Demak, SHHS.

Also, now that's what you say,

Demak, bu bizda chiqqan so’zlar.

and it's like the old song, it is what you say,

Bir qo’shiqda aytilganidek: bu sening so’zlaring

it's also the way that you say it.

va so’zlash yo’ling hamdir.

You have an amazing toolbox.

Sizda ajoyib vositalar to’plami bor.

This instrument is incredible,

Ushbu vositalarning o’zi ajoyibdir.

and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened.

Shunday bo’lsa ham, ulardan juda kam insonlar foydalanadi.

I'd like to have a little rummage in there with you now

Endi esa keling, vositalarning orasidan

and just pull a few tools out

bir nechtasini topamiz,

that you might like to take away and play with,

balki siz ularni keyinchalik ishlatasiz

va ular nutqingizni kuchaytira oladi.

which will increase the power of your speaking.

Register, for example.

Misol uchun, ovoz registrlari.

Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time,

Faltset, ehtimol, ko’p hollarda zarur emas,

but there's a register in between.

shuning uchun pastroq registrni tanlaymiz.

I'm not going to get very technical about this

Men sahna nutqi mutaxassislariga

for any of you who are voice coaches.

texnik taraflarni tushuntirmayman.

You can locate your voice, however.

Biroq, ovozni ko’chirish mumkin.

So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference.

Men shunday burun yordamida baland gapirsam farqni sezasilar.

If I go down here in my throat,

Ko’pchilik gapirgandek,

which is where most of us speak from most of the time.

men ham shunday bo’g’izga tushib gapirsam bo’ladi.

But if you want weight,

Agar so’zlarga og'irlik bermoqchi

you need to go down here to the chest.

bo’lsangiz, ko’krakka tushib gapirish zarur bo’ladi.

Farqni sezyapsimi?

You hear the difference?

We vote for politicians with lower voices, it's true,

Biz past ovozli siyosatchilarga ovoz beramiz, bu haqiqat.

because we associate depth with power

Chunki, biz uchun ovozning chuqurligi,

and with authority.

kuch va obro’ bilan bog’liqdir.

That's register.

Bu ovoz registrlari haqida.

Keyingi o’rinda esa – tembr,

Then we have timbre.

It's the way your voice feels.

ovozingizni his qilish yo’li.

Again, the research shows

Tadqiqotlar ta’kidlashicha,

that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm,

biz to’kis, yumshoq va issiq shokolad kabi muloyim

like hot chocolate.

ovozlarni afzal ko’ramiz.

Well if that's not you, that's not the end of the world,

Agar sizning ovozingiz unday bo’lmasa, hafa bo’lmang, chunki

because you can train.

ovozni tarbiyalash mumkin.

Go and get a voice coach.

Borib shug’ullaning.

And there are amazing things you can do

Juda ajoyib ishlar qilishingiz mumkin,

with breathing, with posture, and with exercises

nafas olish, gavda va ovoz tembrini mashqlar bilan

to improve the timbre of your voice.

ovozingizni zo'r o’zgartirishingiz mumkin.

Then prosody. I love prosody.

Keyin prosodiya, ya’ni, so’z urg’usi.

This is the sing-song, the meta-language

Bu urg’u, ohang va intonatsiyaning birikmasi,

that we use in order to impart meaning.

ular bilan, biz gapning mazmunini uzatamiz.

It's root one for meaning in conversation.

Bu suhbatga ma’no beruvchi birinchi narsadir.

People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to

Bitta notada gapiruvchi insonlarni tinglash juda qiyin,

if they don't have any prosody at all.

chunki ularda prosodiya elementi yo’q.

That's where the word "monotonic" comes from,

Shu sababga ko’ra “zerikarli” va “monotonniy”

or monotonous, monotone.

so’zlari paydo bo’lgan.

Also, we have repetitive prosody now coming in,

Hozirda qaytarilish prosodiyasi mashhur bo’lib qolgan,

where every sentence ends as if it were a question

unda barcha gaplar tasdiq shaklida kelsa ham,

when it's actually not a question, it's a statement?

savol ohangi bilan yakunlanadi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

Va buni cheksiz qaytaraversak,

And if you repeat that one,

it's actually restricting your ability to communicate through prosody,

menimcha, intonatsiya yordamidagi aloqa qobilyati kamayadi,

Shuning uchun, bu odatni

which I think is a shame,

so let's try and break that habit.

to’xtatishga harakat qilish kerak.

Pace.

Temp.

I can get very excited by saying something really quickly,

Men hayajonlanib, juda tez-tez gapirishim mumkin,

or I can slow right down to emphasize,

yoki bir narsani ajratish uchun, gapirish tempimni sekinlashtiraman.

and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence.

Va nihoyat, bizning eski do’stimiz – sukunat.

There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk, is there?

Suhbatda ozgina sukunat saqlash yomon emas, to’g’rimi?

We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs.

Uni “Hm” yoki "M" so’zi bilan to’ldirish zarur emas.

It can be very powerful.

U foydali bo’la oladi.

Of course, pitch often goes along with pace

Temp bilan bir qatorda ovoz yuqoriligi turadi.

Hayajonlanishni faqat uning yordamida ko’rsatish mumkin.

to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch.

Where did you leave my keys?

Kalitlarimni qayerda qoldirding?

(Higher pitch) Where did you leave my keys?

(Balandroq) Kalitlarimni qayerda qoldirding?

So, slightly different meaning in those two deliveries.

Bu ikki xil gapirishda har xil ma’no bordir.

Va nihoyat, ovozning balandligi.

And finally, volume.

(Loud) I can get really excited by using volume.

(Baqirib) Balandlikning turlari bilan ishqiboz bo’lib qolish mumkin.

Sorry about that, if I startled anybody.

Kimnidir qo’rqitib yuborgan bo’lsam, uzur.

Or, I can have you really pay attention by getting very quiet.

Yoki ovozimni pasaytirib, e’tiboringizni o’zimga tortishim mumkin.

Some people broadcast the whole time.

Ba’zi insonlar to’xtovsiz gapirishadi.

Try not to do that.

Bunday qilmang.

That's called sodcasting,

Buni “sodkasting” deyishadi.

(Laughter)

(Kulgi)

Imposing your sound on people around you carelessly and inconsiderately.

Atrofdagi insonlarga uyalmasdan va beparvo gapingizni majburan yuklashdir.

Bu yaxshi emas.

Not nice.

Va albatta, muhim masalani aytmoqchi bo’lganingizda,

Of course, where this all comes into play most of all

is when you've got something really important to do.

bularning barchasi juda muhim bo’ladi.

It might be standing on a stage like this and giving a talk to people.

Balki, tinglovchilarga sahnadan turib gapirayotganingizda.

It might be proposing marriage,

Yoki o’ylanishni taklif qilganingizda,

asking for a raise, a wedding speech.

yoki maoshni ko’tarishni so’rayotganingizda.

Whatever it is, if it's really important,

Nima bo’lishidan qat’iy nazar,

you owe it to yourself to look at this toolbox

bu muhim bo’lsa, siz bu vositalarga va “ovozimizning ishlovchi dvigateliga”

and the engine that it's going to work on,

qarashingiz albatta kerak.

and no engine works well without being warmed up.

Va hech qaysi dvigatel oldindan qizdirilmasa, yaxshi ishlamaydi.

Warm up your voice.

Ovozingizni qizdiring.

Actually, let me show you how to do that.

Buni qanday qilish kerakligini ko’rsataman.

Would you all like to stand up for a moment?

Bir lahzaga barchangiz tura olasizmi?

I'm going to show you

Men sizlarga 6 ta ovoz

the six vocal warm-up exercises that I do before every talk I ever do.

uchun mashqlarni ko’rsataman, men sahnaga chiqishdan oldin, ulardan foydalanaman.

Any time you're going to talk to anybody important, do these.

Barcha muhim bo’lgan suhbatlardan oldin shunday qiling.

First, arms up, deep breath in,

Avvalo, qo’llar yuqoriga, chuqur nafas olib:

and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.

“A-a-a-a” – mana shunday.

One more time.

Yana bir marta:

Ahhhh, very good.

“A-a-a-a”. Juda yaxshi.

Now we're going to warm up our lips,

Endi lablarni qizdiramiz.

Endi: “ba”, “ba”, “ba”, “ba”,

and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba,

Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good.

“ba”, “ba”, “ba”, “ba”. Zo’r.

And now, brrrrrrrrrr,

Endi esa: “Brr-r-r-r”

just like when you were a kid.

– huddi yoshligimizdagidek.

Brrrr. Now your lips should be coming alive.

“Brr-r-r-r”. Endi lablaringiz jonlandi.

We're going to do the tongue next

Endi tilga o'tib, uni o’tkir:

with exaggerated la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

“la”, “la”, “la”, “la”, “la”, “la”, “la”, “la”.

Beautiful. You're getting really good at this.

Barakalla. Juda yaxshi qilyapsizlar.

Endi gulduraydigan “r” – “R-r-r-r-r”.

And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr.

That's like champagne for the tongue.

Huddi, tilingizda shampan vinosi bordek.

Nihoyat, juda muhim joyga keldik.

Finally, and if I can only do one,

the pros call this the siren.

Mutaxassislar uni "sirena" deyishadi.

It's really good. It starts with "we" and goes to "aw."

Boshida “Vi” bilan boshlanib, “ou” bilan davom etadi.

The "we" is high, the "aw" is low.

“Vi” baland, “ou” esa past.

So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.

Chiqishda: “vi-i-i-i-ou-u-u-u”, “vi-i-i-i-ou-u-u-u”.

Fantastic. Give yourselves a round of applause.

Barakalla. O’zingizni olqishlang.

Take a seat, thank you.

O’tiring. Rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)

Next time you speak, do those in advance.

Sahnaga chiqishdan oldin shu mashqlarni qiling.

Now let me just put this in context to close.

Keling, yakun yasab, bugungi mavzuga aniqlik kiritamiz.

This is a serious point here.

Bu juda muhim.

This is where we are now, right?

Vaziyat quyidagichadir:

biz fikrimizni aniq va lo'nda

We speak not very well

to people who simply aren't listening

tushuntira olmaymiz.

in an environment that's all about noise and bad acoustics.

yomon akustikali joyda bizni unchalik tinglashmaydi.

I have talked about that on this stage in different phases.

Bu haqda men bir necha bor aytgan edim.

What would the world be like

Agar maqsadimizga

if we were speaking powerfully

hizmat qiluvchi vaziyatlarda,

odamlar bilan gaplashganda

to people who were listening consciously

in environments which were actually fit for purpose?

aniq ifodalarni ishlatsak edi, dunyo naqadar o’zgarib ketgan bo’lardi?

Or to make that a bit larger,

Kengroq qilib aytadigan bo’lsak,

what would the world be like

borduyu, har bir tovushni

if we were creating sound consciously

anglagan holda ishlatsak va

and consuming sound consciously

suhbat joyini shu maqsadga loyiq va

and designing all our environments

qulay qilganimizda edi, unda dunyo

naqadar o’zgargan bo’lardi?

consciously for sound?

That would be a world that does sound beautiful,

Bunday dunyoda har bir tovush ajoyib tarzda jaranglagan bo’lardi,

and one where understanding would be the norm,

bunday dunyoda aniq tushunish tabiiy holga aylangan bo’lib qolardi.

and that is an idea worth spreading.

Bu mening butun dunyoga yoyilishga arziydigan fikrimdir.

Thank you.

Rahmat.

(Applause)

(Qarsaklar)