Jane Fonda: Life's third act

Prevodilac: Marija Milenovic Lektor: Mateja Nenadovic

There have been many revolutions over the last century,

Bilo je mnogo revolucija

tokom poslednjeg veka,

but perhaps none as significant as the longevity revolution.

ali, možda, ni jedna nije toliko značajna

koliko revolucija za produžetak naših života.

We are living on average today 34 years longer

Danas živimo prosečno 34 godine

than our great-grandparents did -- think about that.

duže od naših pradedova.

Razmislite o tome.

That's an entire second adult lifetime

To je još čitav jedan period zrelosti,

that's been added to our lifespan.

dodat našem životnom dobu.

And yet, for the most part,

A, pak, naša kultura većinom

our culture has not come to terms with what this means.

nije shvatila šta to znači.

We're still living with the old paradigm

I dalje živimo u staroj paradigmi

of age as an arch.

da je starenje kao luk.

That's the metaphor, the old metaphor.

To je metafora, stara metafora.

You're born, you peak at midlife

Rodite se, budete na vrhuncu života u srednjim godinama

and decline into decrepitude.

i potom kvalitet života opada.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Age as pathology.

Starost kao patologija.

But many people today -- philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists --

Ali mnogi ljudi danas,

filozofi, umetnici, doktori, naučnici,

are taking a new look at what I call "the third act" --

zauzimaju drugačiji stav o onome što ja zovem trećom epohom,

the last three decades of life.

poslednje tri decenije života.

They realize that this is actually a developmental stage of life

Oni shvataju da je ovo zapravo razvojna faza života

with its own significance,

sa sopstvenim značajem

as different from midlife as adolescence is from childhood.

različitim od perioda srednjih godina,

koliko je adolescencija različita od detinjstva.

And they are asking -- we should all be asking:

I oni pitaju, trebalo bi svi to da pitamo,

How do we use this time?

kako da iskoristimo to vreme?

How do we live it successfully?

Kako da ga živimo sa uspehom?

What is the appropriate new metaphor for aging?

Koja je adekvatna nova metafora

za starenje?

I've spent the last year researching and writing about this subject.

Prošlu godinu sam provela istražujući i pišući na ovu temu.

And I have come to find that a more appropriate metaphor for aging

Shvatila sam da je više

odgovarajuća metafora za starenje

is a staircase --

stepenište,

the upward ascension of the human spirit,

uspon ljudskog duha

bringing us into wisdom, wholeness, and authenticity.

koji nam daje mudrost, osećaj celosti

i verodostojnosti.

Age not at all as pathology.

Starost, nikako kao patologija,

već kao potencijal.

Age as potential.

And guess what?

I znate šta?

This potential is not for the lucky few.

Ovaj potencijal nije samo za nekolicinu srećnika.

It turns out, most people over 50

Ispostavlja se

da se većina ljudi preko 50

feel better, are less stressed, less hostile, less anxious.

oseća bolje, sa manje stresa,

manje je neprijateljski nastrojeno, manje nervozno.

We tend to see commonalities more than differences.

Težimo da vidimo istovetnosti, više nego razlike.

Some of the studies even say we're happier.

Neke od studija čak kažu

da smo srećniji.

(Laughter)

This is not what I expected, trust me.

To nisam očekivala, verujte mi.

I come from a long line of depressives.

Dolazim iz duge loze depresivaca.

Kako su mi se približavale kasne 40.

As I was approaching my late 40s,

when I would wake up in the morning,

kako bih se probudila ujutru,

prvih šest misli su mi bile negativne.

my first six thoughts would all be negative.

And I got scared.

I uplašila sam se.

I thought, "Oh my gosh. I'm going to become a crotchety old lady."

Pomislila sam, o, moj bože!

Postaću mrgodna, gunđava baba.

But now that I am actually smack-dab in the middle of my own third act,

Ali sada kada sam baš u sred svoje treće epohe,

I realize I've never been happier.

shvatam da nikada nisam bila srećnija.

I have such a powerful feeling of well-being.

Okružuje me snažan osećaj blagostanja.

And I've discovered

Otkrila sam da, kada ste unutar starosti,

that when you're inside oldness,

as opposed to looking at it from the outside,

umesto da je samo posmatrate,

strah nestane.

fear subsides.

You realize you're still yourself --

Shvatite da ste još uvek svoji,

maybe even more so.

možda i više nego ranije.

Picasso once said, "It takes a long time to become young."

Pikaso je jednom rekao:

"Potrebno je mnogo vremena da biste postali mladi."

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I don't want to romanticize aging.

Ne želim da romantizujem starenje.

Obviously, there's no guarantee

Očigledno, nema garancije

that it can be a time of fruition and growth.

da će biti vreme stvaranja i razvoja.

Jednim delom, zavisi od sreće.

Some of it is a matter of luck.

Some of it, obviously, is genetic.

Drugim, očigledno, od genetike.

One third of it, in fact, is genetic.

Jedna trećina je zapravo genetička.

And there isn't much we can do about that.

I tim povodom ne možemo mnogo toga da uradimo.

But that means that two-thirds of how well we do in the third act,

Ali to znači da možemo da utičemo

na dve trećine toga koliko ćemo dobro

we can do something about.

da prođemo u trećoj epohi.

We're going to discuss what we can do

Porazgovaraćemo o tome šta možemo da uradimo

to make these added years really successful,

da učinimo ove dodate godine uspešnim

and use them to make a difference.

i iskoristimo ih da nešto promenimo.

Now, let me say something about the staircase,

Sada dozvolite da kažem nešto o stepeništu,

which may seem like an odd metaphor for seniors,

koje može delovati kao čudna metafora za starije

given the fact that many seniors are challenged by stairs.

zbog činjenice da većini stepenice predstavljaju izazov.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

Myself included.

Uključujući mene.

As you may know, the entire world operates on a universal law:

Kao što možda znate

ceo svet se zasniva na univerzalnom zakonu,

entropy, the second law of thermodynamics.

entropiji, drugom zakonu termo dinamike.

Entropy means that everything in the world -- everything --

Entropija znači da je sve u svetu, sve,

is in a state of decline and decay --

u stanju opadanja i raspadanja,

the arch.

u vidu luka.

There's only one exception to this universal law,

Postoji samo jedan izuzetak kod ovog zakona,

and that is the human spirit,

a to je ljudski duh,

which can continue to evolve upwards, the staircase,

koji može nastaviti da evoluira naviše,

kao stepenište,

bringing us into wholeness, authenticity, and wisdom.

donoseći nam blagostanje,

verodostojnost i mudrost.

And here's an example of what I mean.

I evo primera za ono na šta mislim.

This upward ascension

Ovo penjanje

can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges.

se može desiti čak i usled ekstremnih fizičkih izazova.

About three years ago, I read an article in the New York Times.

Pre oko tri godine,

pročitala sam članak u Njujork Tajmsu.

It was about a man named Neil Selinger --

Radilo se o čoveku po imenu Nil Selinger,

57 years old, a retired lawyer,

57 godina, advokat u penziji,

who had joined the writers' group at Sarah Lawrence,

koji se pridružio grupi pisaca Sare Lorens

where he found his writer's voice.

gde je pronašao svoju sklonost ka pisanju.

Two years later,

Nakon dve godine,

he was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

postavljena mu je dijagnoza skleroze, poznata kao Lu Gerigova bolest.

It's a terrible disease. It's fatal.

To je strašna bolest. Fatalna.

It wastes the body, but the mind remains intact.

Uništava telo, dok um ostaje netaknut.

In this article, Mr. Selinger wrote the following

U svoj članku, g-din Selinger je napisao sledeće

da opiše šta mu se desilo.

to describe what was happening to him.

And I quote:

Citiram:

"As my muscles weakened,

"Kako su mi mišići slabili,

my writing became stronger.

moje pisanje je postajalo izražajnije.

As I slowly lost my speech,

Kako sam polako izgubio moć govora,

I gained my voice.

dobio sam svoj glas.

As I diminished, I grew.

Kako sam nestajao, rastao sam,

Kako sam izgubio toliko toga,

As I lost so much,

I finally started to find myself."

napokon sam počeo da se pronalazim."

Neil Selinger, to me,

Nil Selinger je za mene

is the embodiment of mounting the staircase

otelovljenje penjanja uz stepenice

in his third act.

u trećoj epohi.

Now we're all born with spirit, all of us,

Svi smo rođeni sa duhom, svi među nama,

but sometimes it gets tamped down beneath the challenges of life,

ali se ponekad on izgubi

pod izazovima života,

violence, abuse, neglect.

nasiljem, zloupotrebom, nemarnošću.

Perhaps our parents suffered from depression.

Možda su naši roditelji patili od depresije.

Perhaps they weren't able to love us beyond how we performed in the world.

Možda nisu bili sposobni da nas vole

više od toga koliko smo zaslužili.

Možda još uvek imamo

Perhaps we still suffer from a psychic pain, a wound.

psihički bol, ranu.

Perhaps we feel that many of our relationships

Možda osećamo da mnogi naši odnosi nisu dorečeni.

have not had closure.

And so we can feel unfinished.

I zbog toga se možemo osećati nedovršeno.

Perhaps the task of the third act

Možda je zadatak treće epohe

is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.

da završimo zadatak završavanja sebe.

For me, it began as I was approaching my third act, my 60th birthday.

Za mene je to počelo kada sam se približavala trećoj epohi,

mom 60. rođendanu.

How was I supposed to live it?

Kako je trebalo da živim?

What was I supposed to accomplish in this final act?

Šta je trebalo da postignem u ovom finalnom dobu?

And I realized that, in order to know where I was going,

I shvatila sam da, da bih znala kuda idem,

I had to know where I'd been.

morala sam da znam gde sam bila.

I tako sam otišla nazad

And so I went back and I studied my first two acts,

i proučavala svoje prve dve epohe,

pokušavajući da vidim ko sam bila tada

trying to see who I was then,

who I really was, not who my parents or other people told me I was,

ko sam stvarno bila,

a ne ko su mi roditelji ili drugi ljudi rekli da sam bila,

ili kako su se ophodili prema meni.

or treated me like I was.

But who was I?

Nego ko sam bila?

Who were my parents -- not as parents, but as people?

Ko su bili moji roditelji, ne kao roditelji, već kao ljudi?

Who were my grandparents?

Ko su bili moje bake i deke?

How did they treat my parents?

Kako su se oni ophodili prema mojim roditeljima?

These kinds of things.

Takve stvari.

I discovered, a couple of years later,

Posle dve godine sam saznala

that this process that I had gone through

da se ovaj proces

u psihologiji naziva

is called by psychologists "doing a life review."

"revizija života".

And they say it can give new significance and clarity and meaning

I kažu da može dati novi značaj

i jasnu sliku i značenje

to a person's life.

životu čoveka.

You may discover, as I did,

Možete otkriti, kao ja,

that a lot of things that you used to think were your fault,

da je mnogo stvari za koje ste mislili da su vaša krivica,

a lot of things you used to think about yourself,

da mnogo stvari koje ste mislili o sebi

really had nothing to do with you.

nije imalo veze sa vama.

It wasn't your fault; you're just fine.

Nisu bile vaša krivica, vi ste u redu.

And you're able to go back and forgive them.

I možete da se ratite i oprostite im

And forgive yourself.

i oprostite sebi.

Možete da se oslobodite

You're able to free yourself

from your past.

svoje prošlosti.

You can work to change your relationship to your past.

Možete raditi na promeni

svog odnosa prema svojoj prošlosti.

Now while I was writing about this,

Dok sam pisala o ovome, naišla sam

I came upon a book called "Man's Search for Meaning"

na knjigu "Čovekova potraga za značenjem"

by Viktor Frankl.

Viktora Frankla.

Viktor Frankl je bio nemački psihijatar

Viktor Frankl was a German psychiatrist

who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.

koji je proveo pet godina u nacističkom koncentracionom logoru.

And he wrote that, while he was in the camp,

I napisao je da, dok je bio u logoru,

he could tell, should they ever be released,

mogao je da predvidi, ukoliko ikada budu slobodni,

which of the people would be OK, and which would not.

koji čovek će biti dobro,

a koji neće.

And he wrote this:

I napisao je ovo:

"Everything you have in life can be taken from you

"Sve što imate u životu može vam biti oduzeto,

except one thing:

sem jedne stvari,

vaše slobode na izbor

your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.

kako da se nosite sa situacijom.

Ovo određuje

This is what determines the quality of the life we've lived --

kvalitet života koji živimo,

not whether we've been rich or poor,

a ne da li smo rođeni bogati ili siromašni,

famous or unknown,

poznati ili nepoznati,

healthy or suffering.

zdravi ili bolesni.

What determines our quality of life is how we relate to these realities,

Ono što određuje kvalitet naših života

je kako doživljavamo realnost,

what kind of meaning we assign them,

koje im značenje prisvajamo,

what kind of attitude we cling to about them,

kakav stav zauzimamo,

koje stanje uma im dozvoljavamo da aktiviraju."

what state of mind we allow them to trigger."

Perhaps the central purpose of the third act

Možda je glavna svrha treće epohe

is to go back and to try, if appropriate,

da se vratimo i da pokušamo, ukoliko možemo,

to change our relationship to the past.

da promenimo naš odnos

prema prošlosti.

It turns out that cognitive research shows

Ispostavlja se da kognitivna istraživanja pokazuju

when we are able to do this,

kada smo sposobni to da uradimo,

it manifests neurologically --

to se pokazuje neurološki,

neural pathways are created in the brain.

nervni putevi se stvaraju u mozgu.

You see, if you have, over time,

Vidite, ako ste, vremenom.

reacted negatively to past events and people,

negativno reagovali na prošle događaje i ljude,

nervni putevi su utabani

neural pathways are laid down

by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain.

hemijskim i električnim signalima koji se šalju kroz mozak.

And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired.

I, vremenom, ovakvi nervni putevi ostaju ukorenjeni

They become the norm -- even if it's bad for us,

postanu norma,

iako su loši po nas,

because it causes us stress and anxiety.

jer uzrokuju stres i anksioznost,

Ako pak,

If, however,

we can go back and alter our relationship,

uspemo da se vratimo i promenimo naš odnos,

re-vision our relationship to past people and events,

uradimo reviziju našeg odnosa

prema prošlosti i događajima,

neural pathways can change.

nervni putevi se mogu promeniti.

And if we can maintain the more positive feelings

I ako možemo da zadržimo

pozitivnija osećanja u vezi sa prošlopću

about the past,

that becomes the new norm.

ona postanu nova norma.

It's like resetting a thermostat.

Kao resetovanje termostata.

It's not having experiences

Ne čini nas mudrijim

that makes us wise.

proživljeno,

It's reflecting on the experiences that we've had that makes us wise

već nas analiziranje prošlih iskustava

čini mudrima

and that helps us become whole,

i to nam pomaže da budemo celi,

brings wisdom and authenticity.

donosi nam mudrost i verodostojnost.

It helps us become what we might have been.

Pomaže nam da postanemo ono što smo možda mogli biti.

Women start off whole, don't we?

Žene počinju kao celina, zar ne?

I mean, as girls, we're feisty -- "Yeah? Who says?"

Mislim, kao žene, mi smo žestoke. "Da, ko kaže?"

(Laughter)

We have agency.

Mi imamo volju.

We are the subjects of our own lives.

Mi smo subjekti naših života.

But very often,

Ali veoma često

many, if not most of us, when we hit puberty,

mnogo, ako ne većina nas, kada uđemo u pubertet,

we start worrying about fitting in and being popular.

počnemo da se brinemo o uklapanju i popularnosti.

And we become the subjects and objects of other people's lives.

I postanemo predmeti života drugih ljudi.

Ali sada, u našoj trećoj epohi,

But now, in our third acts,

moguće je da

it may be possible for us to circle back to where we started,

okrenemo krug unazad

and know it for the first time.

i znamo to po prvi put.

I ako možemo to da uradimo,

And if we can do that,

it will not just be for ourselves.

neće više biti samo za nas.

Older women are the largest demographic in the world.

Starije žene

su najveća demografija u svetu;

ukoliko uspemo da odemo unazad i redefinišemo sebe

If we can go back and redefine ourselves

and become whole,

i postanemo cele

to može napraviti kulturološku promenu u svetu

this will create a cultural shift in the world,

and it will give an example to younger generations

i dati primer mlađim generacijama

da i one mogu da istraže svoj životni okvir.

so that they can reconceive their own lifespan.

Thank you very much.

Hvala vam mnogo.

(Applause)

(Aplauz)