Jane Fonda: Life's third act

Translator: Polona Ramšak Reviewer: Nika Kotnik

There have been many revolutions over the last century,

V zadnjem stoletju je bilo mnogo revolucij,

but perhaps none as significant as the longevity revolution.

a morda nobene tako pomembne, kot je revolucija dolgega življenja.

We are living on average today 34 years longer

Danes živimo v povprečju 34 let dlje

than our great-grandparents did -- think about that.

kot naši prastari starši, pomislite ..

That's an entire second adult lifetime

To je še eno celo drugo odraslo življenje,

that's been added to our lifespan.

dodano naši življenjski dobi.

And yet, for the most part,

Pa vendar se večinoma

our culture has not come to terms with what this means.

naša kultura ni soočila s tem, kaj to pomeni.

We're still living with the old paradigm

Še vedno živimo s staro paradigmo

of age as an arch.

življenja kot loka.

That's the metaphor, the old metaphor.

To je metafora, stara metafora.

You're born, you peak at midlife

Rodiš se, vrhunec dosežeš v srednjih letih

and decline into decrepitude.

in ponikneš v razpadanje.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Age as pathology.

Starost kot patologija.

But many people today -- philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists --

A mnogi ljudje danes, filozofi, umetniki, zdravniki, znanstveniki,

are taking a new look at what I call "the third act" --

ponovno opazujejo to, čemur pravim 'tretje dejanje',

the last three decades of life.

zadnja tri desetletja življenja.

They realize that this is actually a developmental stage of life

Zavedajo se, da je to v bistvu razvojna faza življenja

with its own significance,

z lastno pomembnostjo,

as different from midlife as adolescence is from childhood.

tako drugačna od srednjih let kot je adolescenca od otroštva.

And they are asking -- we should all be asking:

In sprašujejo, mi vsi bi morali spraševati:

How do we use this time?

kako porabimo ta čas?

How do we live it successfully?

Kako ga uspešno živimo?

What is the appropriate new metaphor for aging?

Kaj je ustrezna nova metafora za staranje?

I've spent the last year researching and writing about this subject.

Minulo leto sem raziskovala in pisala o tej temi.

And I have come to find that a more appropriate metaphor for aging

In prišla sem do spoznanja, da je ustreznejša metafora za staranje

is a staircase --

stopnišče,

the upward ascension of the human spirit,

vzpon v človeški duh,

bringing us into wisdom, wholeness, and authenticity.

ki nam prinaša modrost, celovitost in avtentičnost.

Age not at all as pathology.

Starost niti približno ne kot patologija.

Age as potential.

Starost kot potencial.

And guess what?

In veste, kaj?

This potential is not for the lucky few.

Ta potencial ni samo za nekaj srečnežev.

It turns out, most people over 50

Očitno se večina ljudi nad 50. letom

feel better, are less stressed, less hostile, less anxious.

počuti bolje, je manj pod stresom, manj sovražna, manj anksiozna.

We tend to see commonalities more than differences.

Skupne točke vidimo bolj kot razlike.

Some of the studies even say we're happier.

Nekatere študije celo pravijo, da smo srečnejši.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

This is not what I expected, trust me.

Verjemite mi, da tega nisem pričakovala.

I come from a long line of depressives.

Prihajam iz dolge vrste depresivnežev.

As I was approaching my late 40s,

Ko sem se približevala poznim štiridesetim,

when I would wake up in the morning,

je bilo, ko sem se zjutraj zbudila,

my first six thoughts would all be negative.

mojih prvih šest misli negativnih.

And I got scared.

In prestrašila sem se.

I thought, "Oh my gosh. I'm going to become a crotchety old lady."

Pomislila sem: "Ojej, postala bom sitna stara gospa."

But now that I am actually smack-dab in the middle of my own third act,

Zdaj, ko pa sem dejansko točno na sredini svojega tretjega dejanja,

I realize I've never been happier.

ugotavljam, da nikoli nisem bila srečnejša.

I have such a powerful feeling of well-being.

Imam mogočen občutek blagostanja.

And I've discovered

In odkrila sem,

that when you're inside oldness,

da ko si znotraj starosti,

as opposed to looking at it from the outside,

v nasprotju s tem, ko jo gledaš od zunaj,

fear subsides.

strah pojenja.

You realize you're still yourself --

Zaveš se, da si še vedno ti,

maybe even more so.

mogoče celo bolj.

Picasso once said, "It takes a long time to become young."

Picasso je nekoč dejal: "Dolgo traja, da postaneš mlad."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

I don't want to romanticize aging.

Nočem olepševati starosti.

Obviously, there's no guarantee

Očitno ni nobene garancije,

that it can be a time of fruition and growth.

da je lahko čas uresničitve in rasti.

Some of it is a matter of luck.

Nekaj je stvar sreče.

Some of it, obviously, is genetic.

Nekaj je očitno genetsko.

One third of it, in fact, is genetic.

Ena tretjina je pravzaprav genetika.

And there isn't much we can do about that.

In ne moremo kaj veliko storiti v zvezi s tem.

But that means that two-thirds of how well we do in the third act,

A to pomeni, da sta dve tretjini tega, kako dobro nam bo šlo v tretjem dejanju,

we can do something about.

v naših rokah.

We're going to discuss what we can do

Pogovorili se bomo o tem, kaj lahko storimo,

to make these added years really successful,

da bodo ta dodana leta res uspešna

and use them to make a difference.

in jih bomo lahko uporabili smotrno.

Now, let me say something about the staircase,

Naj vam povem nekaj o stopnišču,

which may seem like an odd metaphor for seniors,

ki se morda zdi čudna metafora za starejše ljudi,

given the fact that many seniors are challenged by stairs.

saj mnogim stopnice povzročajo težave.

(Laughter)

(smeh)

Myself included.

Tudi meni.

As you may know, the entire world operates on a universal law:

Kot morda veste, ves svet deluje po univerzalnem zakonu:

entropy, the second law of thermodynamics.

entropiji, drugem zakonu termodinamike.

Entropy means that everything in the world -- everything --

Entropija pomeni, da je vse na svetu, vse,

is in a state of decline and decay --

v stanju upada in propada,

the arch.

lok.

There's only one exception to this universal law,

Ta univerzalni zakon ima samo eno izjemo

and that is the human spirit,

in to je človeški duh,

which can continue to evolve upwards, the staircase,

ki se lahko še naprej razvija navzgor po stopnicah

bringing us into wholeness, authenticity, and wisdom.

in nam prinaša celovitost, avtentičnost in modrost.

And here's an example of what I mean.

To je primer tega, kar mislim.

This upward ascension

Ta vzpon

can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges.

se lahko vzgodi tudi, ko smo soočeni z ekstremnimi fizičnimi izzivi.

About three years ago, I read an article in the New York Times.

Pred približno tremi leti sem brala članek v New York Times-u

It was about a man named Neil Selinger --

o moškemu po imenu Neil Selinger,

57 years old, a retired lawyer,

starem 57 let, upokojenem odvetniku,

who had joined the writers' group at Sarah Lawrence,

ki se je pridružil pisateljski skupini na kolidžu Sarah Lawrence,

where he found his writer's voice.

kjer je našel svoj pisateljski glas.

Two years later,

Dve leti kasneje

he was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

so mu diagnosticirali ALS, znano pod imenom amiotrofična lateralna skleroza.

It's a terrible disease. It's fatal.

To je strašna bolezen. In usodna.

It wastes the body, but the mind remains intact.

Uniči telo, um pa ostane nedotaknjen.

In this article, Mr. Selinger wrote the following

V tem članku je g. Selinger napisal tole,

to describe what was happening to him.

da bi opisal, kaj se mu dogaja.

And I quote:

Citiram:

"As my muscles weakened,

"Ko so moje mišice oslabele,

my writing became stronger.

je moje pisanje postalo močnejše.

As I slowly lost my speech,

Ko sem počasi izgubljal govor,

I gained my voice.

sem pridobil svoj glas.

As I diminished, I grew.

Ko sem slabel, sem rasel.

As I lost so much,

Ko sem izgubil tako veliko,

I finally started to find myself."

sem končno začenjal najti sebe."

Neil Selinger, to me,

Neil Selinger je zame

is the embodiment of mounting the staircase

utelešenje vzpenjanja po stopnicah

in his third act.

v svojem tretjem dejanju.

Now we're all born with spirit, all of us,

Vsi se rodimo z duhom, vsi,

but sometimes it gets tamped down beneath the challenges of life,

a včasih ga poteptajo življenjski izzivi,

violence, abuse, neglect.

nasilje, zloraba, zanemarjanje.

Perhaps our parents suffered from depression.

Morda so naši starši trpeli za depresijo.

Perhaps they weren't able to love us beyond how we performed in the world.

Morda nas niso mogli ljubiti drugače kot le v povezavi z našimi dosežki.

Perhaps we still suffer from a psychic pain, a wound.

Morda še vedno trpimo psihično bolečino, rano.

Perhaps we feel that many of our relationships

Morda čutimo, da mnogo naših odnosov

have not had closure.

ni imelo pravega epiloga.

And so we can feel unfinished.

In tako se lahko počutimo nedokončane.

Perhaps the task of the third act

Morda je naloga tretjega dejanja

is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.

končati naloge končevanja sebe.

For me, it began as I was approaching my third act, my 60th birthday.

Zame se je začelo, ko sem se bližala tretjemu dejanju, 60. rojstnemu dnevu.

How was I supposed to live it?

Kako ga naj živim?

What was I supposed to accomplish in this final act?

Kaj naj bi dosegla v tem zaključnem dejanju?

And I realized that, in order to know where I was going,

In zavedla sem se, da moram, da bi vedela, kam grem,

I had to know where I'd been.

vedeti, kje sem bila.

And so I went back and I studied my first two acts,

In tako sem šla nazaj in preštudirala svoji prvi dve dejanji

trying to see who I was then,

in poskušala videti, kdo sem bila takrat,

who I really was, not who my parents or other people told me I was,

kdo sem v resnici, ne pa kdor so mi starši ali prijatelji rekli, da sem

or treated me like I was.

ali pa so tako z menoj ravnali.

But who was I?

A kdo sem bila?

Who were my parents -- not as parents, but as people?

Kdo so bili moji starši, ne kot starši, ampak kot ljudje?

Who were my grandparents?

Kdo so bili moji stari starši?

How did they treat my parents?

Kako so ravnali z mojimi starši?

These kinds of things.

Take stvari.

I discovered, a couple of years later,

Nekaj let kasneje sem odkrila,

that this process that I had gone through

da ta proces, skozi katerega sem šla,

is called by psychologists "doing a life review."

psihologi imenujejo 'delanje življenjskega pregleda'.

And they say it can give new significance and clarity and meaning

Pravijo, da lahko da novo pomembnost in jasnost in pomen

to a person's life.

človekovemu življenju.

You may discover, as I did,

Lahko odkrijete, kot sem tudi jaz,

that a lot of things that you used to think were your fault,

da veliko stvari, za katere ste mislili, da so vaša krivda,

a lot of things you used to think about yourself,

veliko stvari, ki ste jih mislili o sebi,

really had nothing to do with you.

nima nobene zveze z vami.

It wasn't your fault; you're just fine.

Niste bili vi krivi, vi ste v redu.

And you're able to go back and forgive them.

In lahko boste šli nazaj in jim odpustili.

And forgive yourself.

In odpustili sebi.

You're able to free yourself

Osvobodite se lahko

from your past.

preteklosti.

You can work to change your relationship to your past.

Potrudite se lahko spremeniti svoje odnose v preteklost.

Now while I was writing about this,

Medtem ko sem pisala o tem,

I came upon a book called "Man's Search for Meaning"

sem naletela na knjigo z naslovom Biti človek pomeni najti smisel

by Viktor Frankl.

Viktorja Frankla.

Viktor Frankl was a German psychiatrist

Viktor Frankl je bil nemški psihiater,

who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.

ki je preživel pet let v koncentracijskem taborišču.

And he wrote that, while he was in the camp,

Napisal je, da je, medtem ko je bil v taborišču,

he could tell, should they ever be released,

lahko napovedal, če bodo kdaj izpuščeni,

which of the people would be OK, and which would not.

kateri izmed ljudi bodo v redu in kateri ne.

And he wrote this:

In napisal je tole:

"Everything you have in life can be taken from you

"Vse, kar imaš v življenju, ti je lahko odvzeto

except one thing:

razen ene stvari:

your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.

tvoje svobode, da si izbereš, kako se boš odzval na situacijo.

This is what determines the quality of the life we've lived --

To je tisto, kar določa kvaliteto življenja, ki smo ga živeli;

not whether we've been rich or poor,

ne ali smo bili bogati ali revni,

famous or unknown,

slavni ali neznani,

healthy or suffering.

zdravi ali trpeči.

What determines our quality of life is how we relate to these realities,

Kar določa našo kvaliteto življenja, je, kakšen odnos imamo do teh realnosti,

what kind of meaning we assign them,

kakšen pomen jim pripišemo,

what kind of attitude we cling to about them,

s kakim odnosom se jih oklepamo,

what state of mind we allow them to trigger."

kakšno stanje duha jim dovolimo sprožiti."

Perhaps the central purpose of the third act

Morda je osrednji namen tretjega dejanja,

is to go back and to try, if appropriate,

da gremo nazaj in poskusimo, če je primerno,

to change our relationship to the past.

spremeniti svoj odnos s preteklostjo.

It turns out that cognitive research shows

Kognitivne raziskave kažejo,

when we are able to do this,

da se, ko to zmoremo storiti,

it manifests neurologically --

to pokaže nevrološko,

neural pathways are created in the brain.

nevralne poti se ustvarijo v možganih.

You see, if you have, over time,

Vidite, če ste skozi čas

reacted negatively to past events and people,

reagirali negativno na pretekle dogodke in ljudi,

neural pathways are laid down

so nevralne poti položene

by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain.

s kemičnimi in električnimi signali, ki potujejo skozi možgane.

And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired.

In sčasoma te nevralne poti postanejo ožičene.

They become the norm -- even if it's bad for us,

Postanejo norma, tudi če je to za nas slabo,

because it causes us stress and anxiety.

ker nam povzroča stres in anksioznost.

If, however,

Če pa

we can go back and alter our relationship,

lahko gremo nazaj in spremenimo svoj odnos,

re-vision our relationship to past people and events,

revidiramo svoj odnos do preteklih ljudi in dogodkov,

neural pathways can change.

se nevralne poti lahko spremenijo.

And if we can maintain the more positive feelings

In če lahko ohranjamo bolj pozitivna čustva

about the past,

do preteklosti,

that becomes the new norm.

to postane nova norma.

It's like resetting a thermostat.

To je kot resetiranje termostata.

It's not having experiences

Ne gre za izkušnje,

that makes us wise.

ki nas naredijo modre.

It's reflecting on the experiences that we've had that makes us wise

Kar nas naredi modre, je razmišljanje o izkušnjah, ki smo jih imeli,

and that helps us become whole,

in pomaga nam postati celoviti,

brings wisdom and authenticity.

prinaša modrost in avtentičnost.

It helps us become what we might have been.

Pomaga nam postati, kar bi lahko postali.

Women start off whole, don't we?

Ženske začnemo celovite, kajne?

I mean, as girls, we're feisty -- "Yeah? Who says?"

Mislim, kot dekleta smo bojevite: "Ja? Kdo to pravi?"

(Laughter)

(smeh)

We have agency.

Imamo avtonomijo.

We are the subjects of our own lives.

Me smo subjekti v svojih življenjih.

But very often,

A zelo pogosto

many, if not most of us, when we hit puberty,

mnoge, če ne večina, ko pridemo v puberteto

we start worrying about fitting in and being popular.

začnemo skrbeti, če smo dovolj dobre in priljubljene.

And we become the subjects and objects of other people's lives.

In postanemo subjekti in objekti življenj drugih ljudi.

But now, in our third acts,

A zdaj, v tretjem dejanju,

it may be possible for us to circle back to where we started,

je morda za nas možno zaokrožiti nazaj do tja, kjer smo začele,

and know it for the first time.

in se tega prvič zavedati.

And if we can do that,

In če lahko storimo to,

it will not just be for ourselves.

to ne bo le za nas same.

Older women are the largest demographic in the world.

Starejše ženske so največja demografska skupina na svetu.

If we can go back and redefine ourselves

Če lahko gremo nazaj in se ponovno definiramo

and become whole,

in postanemo celovite,

this will create a cultural shift in the world,

bo to ustvarilo kulturni premik v svetu,

and it will give an example to younger generations

s katerim bomo zgled mlajšim generacijam,

so that they can reconceive their own lifespan.

da bodo lahko ponovno začrtale svojo lastno življenjsko dobo.

Thank you very much.

Hvala lepa.

(Applause)

(aplavz)