Jane Fonda: Life's third act

Translator: Cathrine Ulstrand Reviewer: Morten Kelder Skouboe

Der har været mange revolutioner

There have been many revolutions over the last century,

i løbet af det sidste århundrede,

but perhaps none as significant as the longevity revolution.

men ingen er måske lige så vigtige

som levetidsrevolutionen.

We are living on average today 34 years longer

Vi lever i dag i gennemsnit

34 år længere end vores oldeforældre.

than our great-grandparents did -- think about that.

Tænk over det.

That's an entire second adult lifetime

Det er det samme som en ekstra voksen levealder,

that's been added to our lifespan.

der er blevet føjet til vores levetid.

And yet, for the most part,

Men, generelt set,

our culture has not come to terms with what this means.

har vores kultur endnu ikke fundet ud af, hvad det betyder.

We're still living with the old paradigm

Vi lever stadig efter det gamle mønster,

of age as an arch.

hvor alder er en kurve.

That's the metaphor, the old metaphor.

Det er metaforen; den gamle metafor.

You're born, you peak at midlife

Man bliver født, man når sit højdepunkt, når man er midaldrende,

and decline into decrepitude.

og man forfalder i alderdomssvækkelse.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Age as pathology.

Alder som patologi.

Men mange mennesker i dag --

But many people today -- philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists --

filosoffer, kunstnere, læger, forskere --

are taking a new look at what I call "the third act" --

ser nu nærmere på, hvad jeg kalder det tredje akt;

de sidste tre årtier af vores liv.

the last three decades of life.

They realize that this is actually a developmental stage of life

De er kommet frem til, at det udviklingsmæssigt faktisk er en livsfase,

with its own significance,

der har sin egen betydning --

der er lige så forskellig fra midalderen,

as different from midlife as adolescence is from childhood.

som puberteten er fra barndommen.

And they are asking -- we should all be asking:

Og de spørger -- vi burde alle spørge --

hvordan skal vi bruge denne tid?

How do we use this time?

How do we live it successfully?

Hvordan får vi det bedste ud af den?

What is the appropriate new metaphor for aging?

Hvad ville være en passende ny metafor

for at ældes?

I've spent the last year researching and writing about this subject.

Jeg har brugt det sidste års tid på at undersøge og skrive om dette emne.

Og jeg er kommet frem til,

And I have come to find that a more appropriate metaphor for aging

at en mere passende metafor for at ældes

is a staircase --

er en trappe --

opstigningen af den menneskelige sjæl,

the upward ascension of the human spirit,

bringing us into wisdom, wholeness, and authenticity.

til visdom, helhed

og ægthed.

Age not at all as pathology.

Alder er overhovedet ikke patologisk;

alder er potentiale.

Age as potential.

And guess what?

Og ved I hvad?

This potential is not for the lucky few.

Det her potentiale er ikke kun for de få udvalgte.

It turns out, most people over 50

Det viser sig,

at de fleste mennesker over 50

feel better, are less stressed, less hostile, less anxious.

har det bedre, er mindre stressede,

mindre fjendtlige, er mindre nervøse.

Vi fokuserer på ligheder

We tend to see commonalities more than differences.

i stedet for forskelligheder.

Some of the studies even say we're happier.

Nogle af undersøgelserne viser tilmed,

at vi er mere lykkelige.

(Laughter)

This is not what I expected, trust me.

Dette er ikke, hvad jeg forventede, tro mig.

Jeg har stor erfaring med depression.

I come from a long line of depressives.

Da jeg nærmede mig slutningen af 40'erne,

As I was approaching my late 40s,

vågnede jeg om morgenen,

when I would wake up in the morning,

og de første seks tanker var alle negative.

my first six thoughts would all be negative.

Det gjorde mig bange.

And I got scared.

I thought, "Oh my gosh. I'm going to become a crotchety old lady."

Jeg tænkte, "Åh gud.

Jeg er ved at blive en sur gammel dame."

But now that I am actually smack-dab in the middle of my own third act,

Men nu hvor jeg selv er midt i tredje akt,

indser jeg, at jeg aldrig har været lykkeligere.

I realize I've never been happier.

Jeg har sådan en stærk følelse af velvære.

I have such a powerful feeling of well-being.

And I've discovered

Og jeg har opdaget,

that when you're inside oldness,

at når man er midt i det "at være gammel"

as opposed to looking at it from the outside,

i stedet for at betragte det udefra,

så træder frygten i baggrunden.

fear subsides.

You realize you're still yourself --

Man indser, at man er stadig sig selv --

maybe even more so.

måske endnu mere nu end før.

Picasso once said, "It takes a long time to become young."

Picasso sagde engang, "Det tager lang tid at blive ung."

(Laughter)

(Latter)

I don't want to romanticize aging.

Jeg vil ikke romantisere det at blive gammel.

Obviously, there's no guarantee

Der er jo ingen garanti for,

that it can be a time of fruition and growth.

at det bliver en tid for nydelse og udvikling.

En del beror på held.

Some of it is a matter of luck.

En del er selvsagt genetisk.

Some of it, obviously, is genetic.

One third of it, in fact, is genetic.

En tredjedel er faktisk genetisk.

Og der er ikke så meget, vi kan gøre ved det.

And there isn't much we can do about that.

But that means that two-thirds of how well we do in the third act,

Men det betyder, at to tredjedele

af, hvordan vi har det i tredje akt,

har vi rent faktisk indflydelse på.

we can do something about.

Vi vil nu kigge på, hvad vi kan gøre

We're going to discuss what we can do

to make these added years really successful,

for, at disse ekstra leveår kan blive virkelig gode

and use them to make a difference.

og bruge dem til at gøre en forskel.

Nu vil jeg lige vende tilbage til trappen,

Now, let me say something about the staircase,

det virker måske som en underlig metafor for ældre,

which may seem like an odd metaphor for seniors,

da mange ældre har det svært med trapper.

given the fact that many seniors are challenged by stairs.

(Latter)

(Laughter)

Myself included.

Mig selv inklusive.

Som I måske ved,

As you may know, the entire world operates on a universal law:

så er hele verden baseret på en universel lov:

entropi, termodynamikkens anden lov.

entropy, the second law of thermodynamics.

Entropy means that everything in the world -- everything --

Entropi betyder, at alt i denne verden, alt

is in a state of decline and decay --

er i en tilstand af forfald og fordærvelse,

kurven.

the arch.

There's only one exception to this universal law,

Der er kun en enkelt undtagelse til denne universelle lov,

og det er den menneskelig sjæl,

and that is the human spirit,

som kan fortsætte med at udvikles opad --

which can continue to evolve upwards, the staircase,

trappen --

bringing us into wholeness, authenticity, and wisdom.

og give os helhed,

ægthed og visdom.

And here's an example of what I mean.

Og her er et eksempel på, hvad jeg mener:

Denne opstigning

This upward ascension

kan ske under selv de mest ekstreme fysiske vilkår.

can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges.

About three years ago, I read an article in the New York Times.

For ca. tre år siden

læste jeg en artikel i New York Times

om en mand, der hed Neil Selinger --

It was about a man named Neil Selinger --

en 57-årig pensioneret advokat --

57 years old, a retired lawyer,

who had joined the writers' group at Sarah Lawrence,

som havde tilmeldt sig en skrivegruppe på Sarah Lawrence,

where he found his writer's voice.

hvor han fandt sin indre skribent.

Two years later,

To år senere

he was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

fik han diagnosen ALS, også kendt som Lou Gehrig's disease.

Det er en frygtelig sygdom. Den er dødelig.

It's a terrible disease. It's fatal.

It wastes the body, but the mind remains intact.

Kroppen forfalder, mens sindet forbliver intakt.

In this article, Mr. Selinger wrote the following

I artiklen skrev Mr. Selinger følgende

for at beskrive, hvad der skete med ham.

to describe what was happening to him.

Og jeg citerer:

And I quote:

"As my muscles weakened,

"I takt med, at mine muskler blev svagere,

blev mine tekster stærkere.

my writing became stronger.

As I slowly lost my speech,

I takt med, at jeg mistede min evne til at tale,

I gained my voice.

fandt jeg min stemme.

As I diminished, I grew.

I takt med, at jeg svandt, voksede jeg.

I takt med, at jeg mistede så meget,

As I lost so much,

fandt jeg endelig mig selv."

I finally started to find myself."

For mig er Neil Selinger

Neil Selinger, to me,

is the embodiment of mounting the staircase

legemliggørelse af at tage trappen

i tredje akt.

in his third act.

Now we're all born with spirit, all of us,

Vi fødes alle med en sjæl,

men nogle gange bliver den stampet ned

but sometimes it gets tamped down beneath the challenges of life,

af livets udfordringer,

violence, abuse, neglect.

vold, misbrug, vanrøgt.

Perhaps our parents suffered from depression.

Måske var vores forældre depressive.

Måske var de ikke i stand til at elske os

Perhaps they weren't able to love us beyond how we performed in the world.

udover, hvordan vi præsterede.

Måske lider vi stadig

Perhaps we still suffer from a psychic pain, a wound.

under en psykisk smerte, et sår.

Måske føler vi, at mange af vores forhold er uafviklede.

Perhaps we feel that many of our relationships

have not had closure.

Og derfor føler vi os ufærdige.

And so we can feel unfinished.

Perhaps the task of the third act

Måske er meningen med tredje akt,

at vi skal færdiggøre os selv.

is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.

For me, it began as I was approaching my third act, my 60th birthday.

For mit vedkommende begyndte det, da jeg nærmede mig tredje akt,

min 60 års fødselsdag.

How was I supposed to live it?

Hvad skulle jeg bruge den til?

What was I supposed to accomplish in this final act?

Hvad skulle jeg opnå i sidste akt?

And I realized that, in order to know where I was going,

Og jeg indså, at for at vide, hvor jeg skulle hen,

I had to know where I'd been.

måtte jeg vide, hvor jeg havde været.

Så jeg tog tilbage

And so I went back and I studied my first two acts,

for at kigge på de første to akter,

for at se, hvem jeg var,

trying to see who I was then,

who I really was, not who my parents or other people told me I was,

hvem jeg virkelig var --

ikke hvem mine forældre eller andre sagde, at jeg var,

eller behandlede mig som.

or treated me like I was.

Men hvem var jeg? Hvem var mine forældre --

But who was I?

Who were my parents -- not as parents, but as people?

ikke som forældre, men som mennesker?

Hvem var mine bedsteforældre?

Who were my grandparents?

How did they treat my parents?

Hvordan behandlede de mine forældre?

These kinds of things.

Den slags ting.

Et par år senere opdagede jeg,

I discovered, a couple of years later,

at den proces, jeg havde været igennem,

that this process that I had gone through

kalder psykologer

is called by psychologists "doing a life review."

"at foretage en livsrevision."

And they say it can give new significance and clarity and meaning

Og de siger, at den kan give ny betydning

og klarhed og mening

to a person's life.

til et menneskes liv.

You may discover, as I did,

Man kan opdage, som jeg gjorde,

that a lot of things that you used to think were your fault,

at mange af de ting, som man plejede at tro var ens skyld,

mange af de ting, som man plejede at tænke om sig selv,

a lot of things you used to think about yourself,

slet ikke havde noget med en at gøre.

really had nothing to do with you.

Det var ikke ens skyld; man er helt ok.

It wasn't your fault; you're just fine.

Og man er i stand til at gå tilbage

And you're able to go back and forgive them.

og tilgive dem

og tilgive sig selv.

And forgive yourself.

Man kan frigøre sig

You're able to free yourself

fra fortiden.

from your past.

Man kan arbejde på at ændre

You can work to change your relationship to your past.

dit forhold til fortiden.

Imens jeg skrev om det her,

Now while I was writing about this,

faldt jeg over en bog med titlen "Man's Search for Meaning"

I came upon a book called "Man's Search for Meaning"

af Viktor Frankl.

by Viktor Frankl.

Viktor Frankl var en tysk psykiater,

Viktor Frankl was a German psychiatrist

who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.

som tilbragte fem år i en nazistisk koncentrationslejr.

And he wrote that, while he was in the camp,

Og mens han var i lejren, skrev han,

he could tell, should they ever be released,

at han kunne se, hvis de nogensinde blev frigivet,

which of the people would be OK, and which would not.

hvem der ville klare sig,

og hvem der ikke ville klare sig.

Og han skrev:

And he wrote this:

"Alt, hvad du har her i livet, kan tages fra dig

"Everything you have in life can be taken from you

med undtagelse af én ting:

except one thing:

din frihed til at vælge

your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.

hvordan du vil reagere

i situationen.

Det er det, der bestemmer

This is what determines the quality of the life we've lived --

kvaliteten af det liv, vi har levet --

not whether we've been rich or poor,

ikke om hvorvidt vi har været rige eller fattige,

kendte eller ukendte,

famous or unknown,

healthy or suffering.

raske eller syge.

What determines our quality of life is how we relate to these realities,

Det, der bestemmer vores livskvalitet,

er, hvordan vi relaterer til disse realiteter,

what kind of meaning we assign them,

hvilken slags mening, vi tilskriver dem,

what kind of attitude we cling to about them,

hvilken slags holdning vi fastholder til dem,

hvilken sindsstemning vi tillader, at de udløser."

what state of mind we allow them to trigger."

Måske er formålet med tredje akt

Perhaps the central purpose of the third act

is to go back and to try, if appropriate,

at gå tilbage og prøve, hvis det er relevant,

to change our relationship to the past.

at ændre vores forhold

til fortiden.

It turns out that cognitive research shows

Kognitive undersøgelser har påvist,

at når vi er i stand til at gøre dette,

when we are able to do this,

it manifests neurologically --

manifesterer det sig neurologisk --

neural pathways are created in the brain.

der skabes neurale forbindelser i hjernen.

You see, if you have, over time,

Hvis man førhen har

reacted negatively to past events and people,

reageret negativt på fortidens begivenheder og mennesker,

er der blevet skabt neurale forbindelser

neural pathways are laid down

by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain.

af kemiske og elektriske signaler, der sendes igennem hjernen.

Og med tiden bliver disse forbindelser permanente,

And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired.

de bliver normen --

They become the norm -- even if it's bad for us,

selvom det ikke er godt for os,

because it causes us stress and anxiety.

fordi de stresser os og gør os bange.

Hvis vi derimod

If, however,

we can go back and alter our relationship,

kan gå tilbage og ændre vores forhold

re-vision our relationship to past people and events,

re-visualisere vores forhold

til mennesker og begivenheder fra fortiden,

neural pathways can change.

kan vi ændre de neurale forbindelser.

And if we can maintain the more positive feelings

Og hvis vi kan fastholde

de mere positive følelser, vi har til fortiden,

about the past,

that becomes the new norm.

bliver det den nye norm.

It's like resetting a thermostat.

Det er ligesom at nulstille en termostat.

At have erfaringer er ikke det,

It's not having experiences

der gør os kloge,

that makes us wise.

det er at reflektere over de erfaringer, vi har,

It's reflecting on the experiences that we've had that makes us wise

der gør os kloge --

and that helps us become whole,

og det hjælper os til at blive hele,

brings wisdom and authenticity.

giver os visdom og ægthed.

It helps us become what we might have been.

Det hjælper os til at blive det, vi kunne være blevet.

Women start off whole, don't we?

Kvinder er hele fra begyndelsen, ikke?

I mean, as girls, we're feisty -- "Yeah? Who says?"

Jeg mener, som piger er vi iltre -- "Du bestemmer ikke over mig."

(Laughter)

Vi er handlekraftige.

We have agency.

We are the subjects of our own lives.

Vi er genstand for vores eget liv.

Men meget ofte

But very often,

many, if not most of us, when we hit puberty,

når mange af os, hvis ikke de fleste, rammer puberteten,

we start worrying about fitting in and being popular.

så tænker vi over, om vi passer ind, og om vi er populære.

And we become the subjects and objects of other people's lives.

Og vi bliver underkastet andre menneskers liv.

Men nu her i vores tredje akt

But now, in our third acts,

er det muligt

it may be possible for us to circle back to where we started,

for os at vende tilbage til, hvor det hele begyndte,

og være bevidste om det for første gang.

and know it for the first time.

Og hvis vi kan gøre det,

And if we can do that,

it will not just be for ourselves.

vil det ikke kun være for os selv.

Older women are the largest demographic in the world.

Ældre kvinder

er den største demografiske gruppe i verden.

Hvis vi kan gå tilbage og omdefinere os selv

If we can go back and redefine ourselves

og blive hele,

and become whole,

vil det skabe et kulturelt skift i verden,

this will create a cultural shift in the world,

and it will give an example to younger generations

og det vil tjene som eksempel for yngre generationer,

så de kan gen-forstå deres egen levetid.

so that they can reconceive their own lifespan.

Thank you very much.

Mange tak.

(Applause)

(Bifald)