Joe Smith: How to use a paper towel

Translator: Morten Kelder Skouboe Reviewer: Anders Finn Jørgensen

Five hundred seventy-one million

Fem hundrede enoghalvfjerds millioner,

two hundred thirty thousand pounds of paper towels

to hundrede tredive tusind pund papirservietter

are used by Americans

bruges af amerikanere

every year.

hvert år.

If we could -- correction, wrong figure --

Hvis vi kunne -- rettelse, forkert tal --

13 billion used every year.

13 milliarder bruges årligt.

If we could reduce the usage of paper towels,

Hvis vi kunne begrænse brugen af servietter,

one paper towel per person per day,

én serviet pr. person pr. dag,

571,230,000 pounds of paper not used.

571.230.000 pund papir ubrugt.

We can do that.

Det kan vi.

Now there are all kinds of paper towel dispensers.

Der er en masse typer servietholdere.

There's the tri-fold. People typically take two or three.

Der er trefolderen. Folk tager normalt to eller tre.

There's the one that cuts it, that you have to tear off.

Der er den, der skærer, som man skal rive af.

People go one, two, three, four, tear.

Folk tager en, to, tre, fire, riv.

This much, right?

Så meget, ikke?

There's the one that cuts itself.

Der er den, der skærer selv.

People go, one, two, three, four.

Folk tager en, to, tre, fire.

Or there's the same thing, but recycled paper,

Eller den samme med genbrugspapir,

you have to get five of those because they're not as absorbent, of course.

man skal bruge fem af dem, for de absorberer ikke så godt.

The fact is, you can do it all with one towel.

Faktum er, man kan gøre det med én serviet.

The key, two words:

Nøglen, to ord:

This half of the room, your word is "shake."

Halvdelen her, jeres ord er "ryst."

Let's hear it. Shake. Louder.

Lad os høre det. Ryst. Højere.

Audience: Shake.

Publikum: Ryst.

Joe Smith: Your word is "fold."

Joe Smith: Jeres ord er "fold."

Audience: Fold.

Publikum: Fold.

JS: Again.

Audience: Fold. JS: Really loud.

JS: Igen.

Publikum: Folk. JS: Virkelig højt.

Audience: Shake. Fold.

Publikum: Ryst. Fold.

JS: OK. Wet hands.

JS: Okay. Våde hænder.

Shake -- one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12.

Ryst -- en, to, tre, fire, fem, seks, syv, otte, ni, 10, 11, 12.

Why 12? Twelve apostles, twelve tribes,

Hvorfor 12? Tolv apostle, tolv stammer,

twelve zodiac signs, twelve months. The one I like the best:

tolv stjernetegn, tolv måneder. Den jeg bedst kan lide:

It's the biggest number with one syllable.

Det er det højeste tal med én stavelse.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Tri-fold. Fold ...

Trefolderen. Fold ...

Dry.

Tør.

(Applause)

(Bifald)

Audience: Shake.

Publikum: Ryst.

Fold.

Fold.

JS: Cuts itself. Fold. The fold is important

JS: Skærer selv. Fold. Foldet er vigtigt,

because it allows interstitial suspension.

for det giver interstitiel opslæmning.

You don't have to remember that part, but trust me.

I behøver ikke huske den del, men stol på mig.

(Laughter)

(Latter)

Audience: Shake. Fold.

Publikum: Ryst. Fold.

JS: Cuts itself.

JS: Skærer selv.

You know the funny thing is,

Det sjove er,

I get my hands drier than people do with three or four,

mine hænder bliver mere tørre end folk med tre-fire,

because they can't get in between the cracks.

for de kan ikke komme ind i revnerne.

If you think this isn't as good...

Hvis man synes, det ikke er så godt...

Audience: Shake. Fold.

Publikum: Ryst. Fold.

JS: Now, there's now a real fancy invention,

JS: Der er en virkelig smart opfindelse nu,

it's the one where you wave your hand

det er den, hvor man vifter med hånden,

and it kicks it out.

og den spytter det ud.

It's way too big a towel.

Det er en alt for stor serviet.

Let me tell you a secret.

Lad mig røbe en hemmelighed.

If you're really quick, if you're really quick --

Hvis I er virkelig hurtige --

and I can prove this --

og det kan jeg bevise --

this is half a towel from the dispenser in this building.

dette er en halv serviet fra holderen i denne bygning.

How? As soon as it starts, you just tear it off.

Hvordan? Så snart den begynder, river man af.

It's smart enough to stop.

Den er kvik nok til at stoppe.

And you get half a towel.

Og man får en halv serviet.

Audience: Shake. Fold.

Publikum: Ryst. Fold.

JS: Now, let's all say it together. Shake. Fold.

JS: Lad os sige det i kor. Ryst. Fold.

You will for the rest of your life remember those words

I vil resten af livet huske de ord,

every time you pick up a paper towel.

hver gang I samler en papirserviet op.

And remember, one towel per person for one year --

Husk, én serviet pr. person i ét år --

571,230,000 pounds of paper. No small thing.

571.230.000 pund papir. Ikke så lidt.

And next year, toilet paper.

Og næste år, toilet papir.

(Laughter)

(Latter)