I am the son of a terrorist. Here's how I chose peace | Zak Ebrahim

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Madeleine Aronson

Translator: Bel Cabar Reviewer: Adisa Ejubovic

On November 5th, 1990,

5. Novembra 1990.,

a man named El-Sayyid Nosair walked

čovjek po imenu El-Sajid Nosair ušetao je

into a hotel in Manhattan

u jedan hotel na Menhetnu

and assassinated Rabbi Meir Kahane,

i ubio rabina Meira Kahane,

the leader of the Jewish Defense League.

lidera Židovske Lige Odbrane.

Nosair was initially found not guilty of the murder,

Nosair u prvi mah proglašen nevinim za ubistvo,

but while serving time on lesser charges,

ali dok je služio zatvorsku kaznu zbog manjih prekršaja

he and other men began planning attacks

on i drugi ljudi počeli su planirati napade

on a dozen New York City landmarks,

na desetak poznatih znamenitosti u Njujorku

including tunnels, synagogues

uključujući tunele, sinagoge

and the United Nations headquarters.

i sjedište UN-a.

Thankfully, those plans were foiled

Srećom, ti planovi su osujećeni

by an FBI informant.

od strane jednog od FBI doušnika.

Sadly, the 1993 bombing

Nažalost, to se nije desilo sa bombardovanjem

of the World Trade Center was not.

Svjetskog trgovinskog centra 1993. godine.

Nosair would eventually be convicted

Nosair je na kraju bio osuđen

for his involvement in the plot.

zbog učešća u zavjeri.

El-Sayyid Nosair is my father.

El-Sajid Nosair je moj otac.

I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Rođen sam u Pitsburgu, Pensilvaniji

in 1983 to him, an Egyptian engineer,

1983. godine, kao sin egipatskon inžinjera

and a loving American mother and grade school teacher,

i brižne američke majke, učiteljice u osnovnoj školi

who together tried their best

koji su skupa davali sve od sebe

to create a happy childhood for me.

da stvore sretno djetinjstvo za mene.

It wasn't until I was seven years old

Tek nakon što sam napunio sedam godina

that our family dynamic started to change.

dinamika naše porodice počela je da se mijenja.

My father exposed me to a side of Islam

Otac me izložio jednoj strani islama

that few people, including the majority of Muslims,

koju jako malo ljudi, uključujući većinu muslimana

get to see.

uspije vidjeti.

It's been my experience that when people

Po mom iskustvu, kada ljudi

take the time to interact with one another,

izdvoje vrijeme za interakciju jedni sa drugima

it doesn't take long to realize that for the most part,

ne treba puno da bi se shvatilo da uglavnom

we all want the same things out of life.

svi mi želimo iste stvari u životu.

However, in every religion, in every population,

Međutim, u svakoj religiji, u svakoj populaciji,

you'll find a small percentage of people

naći ćete mali procenat ljudi

who hold so fervently to their beliefs

koji se tako gorljivo drže svojih uvjerenja

that they feel they must use any means necessary

da osjećaju da moraju koristiti svako neophodno sredstvo

to make others live as they do.

kako bi natjerali druge da žive kao oni.

A few months prior to his arrest,

Par mjeseci prije njegovog hapšenja,

he sat me down and explained that

posjeo me pored sebe i objasnio

for the past few weekends, he and some friends

kako je zadnjih par vikenda, on sa nekim prijateljima

had been going to a shooting range on Long Island

išao u streljanu na Long Ajlendu

for target practice.

kako bi vježbao gađanje.

He told me I'd be going with him the next morning.

Rekao mi je da ću ići sa njim sljedeće jutro.

We arrived at Calverton Shooting Range,

Stigli smo u streljanu Kalverton,

which unbeknownst to our group was being watched

koja je bila pod prismotrom FBI

by the FBI.

a da naša grupa to nije znala.

Kada je bio moj red da pucam,

When it was my turn to shoot,

my father helped me hold the rifle to my shoulder

Otac mi je pomogao da držim pušku na ramenu

and explained how to aim at the target

i objasnio kako da ciljam u metu

about 30 yards off.

na oko 27 metara.

That day, the last bullet I shot

Zadnji metak koji sam ispalio tog dana

hit the small orange light that sat on top of the target

pogodio je malo narančasto svjetlo na vrhu mete

and to everyone's surprise, especially mine,

i na iznenađenje svih, a posebno moje,

the entire target burst into flames.

cijela meta je prsnula u plamenovima.

My uncle turned to the other men,

Moj stric se okrenuo drugim ljudima,

and in Arabic said, "Ibn abuh."

i rekao na arapskom "ibn abduh".

Like father, like son.

Kakav otac, takav sin.

They all seemed to get a really big laugh out of that comment,

Svi su se dobro nasmijali tom komentaru,

but it wasn't until a few years later

ali tek nekoliko godina kasnije

that I fully understood what they thought was so funny.

potpuno sam razumio šta im je bilo tako smiješno.

They thought they saw in me the same destruction

Mislili su da me vide u istom razaranju

my father was capable of.

za koje je moj otac bio sposoban.

Those men would eventually be convicted

Ti ljudi su na kraju osuđeni

of placing a van filled with 1,500 pounds of explosives

zbog kombija sa 680 kg eksploziva ostavljenog

into the sub-level parking lot of the World Trade Center's North Tower,

na parkingu sjevernoj tornja Svjetskog trgovinskog centra

causing an explosion that killed six people

uzrokujući eksploziju koja je ubila šest ljudi

and injured over 1,000 others.

i povrijedila preko 1000 drugih.

These were the men I looked up to.

To su bili ljudi na koje sam gledao sa poštovanjem.

These were the men I called ammu, which means uncle.

Te ljude sam zvao "ammu", što znači stric.

By the time I turned 19,

Do moje 19. godine

I had already moved 20 times in my life,

selio sam se već 20 puta,

and that instability during my childhood

i ta nestabilnost u mom djetinjstvu

didn't really provide an opportunity

nije mi dala neku priliku

to make many friends.

da se sprijateljim sa mnogo ljudi.

Each time I would begin to feel comfortable around someone,

Svaki put kad se počnem osjećati ugodno u nečijoj blizini,

it was time to pack up and move to the next town.

bilo je vrijeme pakovati se i seliti se u novi grad.

Being the perpetual new face in class,

Kako sam bio uvijek novo lice u razredu,

I was frequently the target of bullies.

često sam bio meta siledžija.

I kept my identity a secret from my classmates

Tajio sam svoj identitet od ostalih učenika

to avoid being targeted,

kako ne bih bio meta,

but as it turns out, being the quiet, chubby new kid in class

ali kako se pokazalo, biti tiho, bucmasto novo dijete u razredu

was more than enough ammunition.

bilo je više nego dovoljno.

So for the most part, I spent my time at home

Tako sam uglavnom provodio vrijeme

reading books and watching TV

čitajući knjige i gledajući TV

or playing video games.

ili igrajući video igrice.

For those reasons, my social skills were lacking,

Moje društvene

to say the least,

se nisu razvile, u najmanju ruku,

and growing up in a bigoted household,

i odrastajući u bigotnom okruženju,

I wasn't prepared for the real world.

nisam bio spreman za stvarni život.

I'd been raised to judge people

Odgajan sam da sudim ljudima

based on arbitrary measurements,

na osnovu proizvoljnih parametara,

like a person's race or religion.

kao što je rasa ili religija.

So what opened my eyes?

I šta mi je otvorilo oči?

One of my first experiences

Jedno od mojih prvih iskustava

that challenged this way of thinking

koje je izazvalo preispitivanje mog razmišljanja

was during the 2000 presidential elections.

bilo je tokom predsjedničkih izbora 2000. godine.

Through a college prep program,

Kroz program pripreme za koledž,

I was able to take part

imao sam priliku učestvovati

in the National Youth Convention in Philadelphia.

u Državnoj omladinskoj konvenciji održanoj u Filadelfiji.

My particular group's focus was on youth violence,

Fokus moje grupe bio je na nasilju među mladima,

and having been the victim of bullying for most of my life,

i s obzirom da sam veći dio svog života bio žrtva siledžija,

this was a subject in which I felt particularly passionate.

osjećao sam posebnu strast prema ovoj temi.

The members of our group came from many different walks of life.

Članovi naše grupe bili su raznih zanimanja i profila.

One day toward the end of the convention,

Dan prije završetka konvencije,

I found out that one of the kids I had befriended

saznao sam da je jedno od djece sa kojima sam se sprijateljio

was Jewish.

bio Jevrej.

Now, it had taken several days

Trebalo je nekoliko dana

for this detail to come to light,

da se sazna ovaj detalj,

and I realized that there was no natural animosity

i shvatio sam da nije bilo prirodnog neprijateljstva

between the two of us.

između nas.

I had never had a Jewish friend before,

Nisam nikad prije imao prijatelja koji je Jevrej,

and frankly I felt a sense of pride

i iskreno imao sam osjećaj ponosa

in having been able to overcome a barrier

da sam sposoban prevazići barijeru

that for most of my life I had been led to believe

za koju sam veliki dio života bio naveden da vjerujem

was insurmountable.

da je nepremostiva.

Another major turning point came when

Druga velika prekretnica je bila

I found a summer job at Busch Gardens,

kada sam našao ljetni posao u Buš Vrtovima,

an amusement park.

zabavnom parku.

There, I was exposed to people from all sorts of faiths and cultures,

Tu sam bio izložen ljudima svih religija i kultura,

and that experience proved to be fundamental

i to iskustvo se pokazalo fundamentalno

to the development of my character.

za razvoj mog karaktera.

Most of my life, I'd been taught

Cijelog života su me učili

that homosexuality was a sin, and by extension,

da je homoseksualnost grijeh, i u skladu s tim,

that all gay people were a negative influence.

svi homoseksualci su predstavljali negativan uticaj.

As chance would have it, I had the opportunity

Desilo se tako da sam imao priliku

to work with some of the gay performers

da radim sa nekim od izvođača koji su bili homoseksualci

at a show there,

na jednoj izvedbi,

and soon found that many were the kindest,

i uskoro sam shvatio da su mnogi najljubazniji,

least judgmental people I had ever met.

ljudi najmanje skloni osudama koje sam ikad sreo.

Being bullied as a kid

S obzirom da sam kao dijete bio maltretiran od strane siledžija

created a sense of empathy in me

stvorio sam osjećaj empatije

toward the suffering of others,

prema patnji drugih,

and it comes very unnaturally to me

i dođe mi vrlo prirodno

to treat people who are kind

da se ponašam prema ljubaznim ljude

in any other way than how I would want to be treated.

onako kako bih želio da se ljudi ponašaju prema meni.

Because of that feeling, I was able

Zbog tog osjećaja, mogao sam

to contrast the stereotypes I'd been taught as a child

suprotstaviti stereotipe kojima su me učili kao dijete

with real life experience and interaction.

sa stvarnim životnim iskustvom i interakcijom.

Ne znam kako je biti homoseksualac,

I don't know what it's like to be gay,

ali dobro znam kako je kada me osuđuju

but I'm well acquainted with being judged

for something that's beyond my control.

za nešto što je izvan moje kontrole.

Then there was "The Daily Show."

Zatim, tu je bio "Dnevni šou".

On a nightly basis, Jon Stewart forced me

Svake noći, Džon Stjuart me natjerao

to be intellectually honest with myself about my own bigotry

da budem intelektualno iskren prema sebi apropo svoje netrpeljivosti

and helped me to realize that a person's race,

i pomogao mi je da shvatim da nečija rasa,

religion or sexual orientation

religija ili seksualna orjentacija

had nothing to do with the quality of one's character.

nema ništa sa kvalitetom njihova karaktera.

He was in many ways a father figure to me

Na mnoge načine, on je za mene bio očinska figura

when I was in desperate need of one.

onda kad mi je očajno trebala.

Inspiration can often come from an unexpected place,

Inspiracija može često doći iz neočekivanog mjesta,

and the fact that a Jewish comedian had done more

i činjenica da je jedan Jevrej komičar uradio više

to positively influence my worldview

da pozitivno utiče na moj pogled na život

than my own extremist father

od mog oca ekstremiste

is not lost on me.

nije mi promakla.

Jednog dana, razgovarao sam sa mojom majkom

One day, I had a conversation with my mother

about how my worldview was starting to change,

o tome kako se moj pogled na svijet počeo mijenjati,

and she said something to me

i ona mi je rekla nešto

that I will hold dear to my heart

što će mom srcu biti drago

for as long as I live.

dok sam živ.

Pogledala me svojim umornim očima

She looked at me with the weary eyes

of someone who had experienced

očima nekoga ko je iskusio

enough dogmatism to last a lifetime, and said,

dovoljno dogmatizma za cijeli život, i rekla,

"I'm tired of hating people."

"Umorna sam od toga da mrzim ljude."

In that instant, I realized how much negative energy

U tom momentu, shvatio sam koliko negativne energije

it takes to hold that hatred inside of you.

treba da držite toliku mržnju u sebi.

Zak Ebrahim is not my real name.

Zak Ebrahim nije moje pravo ime.

I changed it when my family decided

Promijenio sam ga kad je moja porodica odlučila

to end our connection with my father

da okonča vezu sa mojim ocem

and start a new life.

i počne novi život.

So why would I out myself

Zašto onda da se izlažem

and potentially put myself in danger?

i potencijalno stavljam u opasnost?

Well, that's simple.

Jednostavno je.

I do it in the hopes that perhaps someone someday

Radim to u nadi da će možda neko jednog dana

who is compelled to use violence

ko se osjeća prisiljenim da koristi nasilje

may hear my story and realize

čuti moju priču i shvatiti

that there is a better way,

da postoji bolji put,

that although I had been subjected

da iako sam bio podvrgnut

to this violent, intolerant ideology,

toj nasilnoj, netolerantnoj ideologiji,

that I did not become fanaticized.

nisam postao fanatičan.

Instead, I choose to use my experience

Umjesto toga izabrao sam svoje iskustvo

to fight back against terrorism,

da se borim protiv terorizma,

against the bigotry.

protiv netrpeljivosti.

I do it for the victims of terrorism

Radim to za žrtve terorizma

and their loved ones,

i njihove najbliže,

for the terrible pain and loss

za užasan bol i gubitak

that terrorism has forced upon their lives.

koje im je terorizam uzrokovao.

For the victims of terrorism, I will speak out

Govorit ću glasno, za žrtve terorizma

against these senseless acts

protiv svih bemislenih djela

and condemn my father's actions.

i osuditi djela moga oca.

And with that simple fact, I stand here as proof

I sa tom činjenicom, stojim ovdje kao dokaz

that violence isn't inherent in one's religion or race,

da nasilje nije ukorijenjeno ni u jednoj religiji ili rasi,

and the son does not have to follow

i da sin ne mora slijediti

the ways of his father.

svoga oca.

I am not my father.

Ja nisam moj otac.

Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala vam.

Thank you, everybody. (Applause)

Hvala vam, svima.

Thank you all. (Applause)

Hvala vam svima.

Thanks a lot. (Applause)

Hvala puno.