I am the son of a terrorist. Here's how I chose peace | Zak Ebrahim

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Madeleine Aronson

譯者: Geoff Chen 審譯者: Zhiting Chen

On November 5th, 1990,

1990 年 11 月 5 日，

a man named El-Sayyid Nosair walked

一位名叫埃爾．塞伊德．諾塞爾的男子

into a hotel in Manhattan

走入曼哈頓的一間旅館

and assassinated Rabbi Meir Kahane,

刺殺了拉比梅厄．卡赫納，

the leader of the Jewish Defense League.

猶太防衛聯盟的首領。

Nosair was initially found not guilty of the murder,

諾塞爾一開始並未被指認參與謀殺，

but while serving time on lesser charges,

但當他因小事入獄服刑期間，

he and other men began planning attacks

他和一些人開始計劃襲擊

on a dozen New York City landmarks,

紐約市的一些地標，

including tunnels, synagogues

包括隧道、猶太教會堂

and the United Nations headquarters.

和聯合國總部。

Thankfully, those plans were foiled

謝天謝地，這些計劃被

by an FBI informant.

美國聯邦調查局的線人挫敗了。

Sadly, the 1993 bombing

不幸的是，1993 年

of the World Trade Center was not.

世貿中心的那場爆炸襲擊卻發生了。

Nosair would eventually be convicted

諾塞爾最終被指控

for his involvement in the plot.

參與這場犯罪謀劃。

El-Sayyid Nosair is my father.

埃爾．塞伊德．諾塞爾是我的父親。

I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

我 1983 年出生在 賓夕法尼亞州的匹茲堡，

in 1983 to him, an Egyptian engineer,

我的父親是一位 埃及裔工程師，

and a loving American mother and grade school teacher,

我有個愛我的美國母親， 她是一名小學老師，

who together tried their best

他們盡最大努力

to create a happy childhood for me.

為給我創造了一個歡樂的童年。

It wasn't until I was seven years old

直到我 7 歲的時候

that our family dynamic started to change.

家庭氣氛開始出現了變化。

My father exposed me to a side of Islam

我的父親讓我接觸伊斯蘭的一支

that few people, including the majority of Muslims,

很少人見過，包括大部分的穆斯林，

get to see.

都沒見過的一個派別。

It's been my experience that when people

我的人生經驗告訴我

take the time to interact with one another,

人們與彼此相處，

it doesn't take long to realize that for the most part,

很快就意識到，很大程度上

we all want the same things out of life.

人們對生活有著相同的追求。

However, in every religion, in every population,

然而，所有宗教，所有群體，

you'll find a small percentage of people

你總能看到一小部分人

who hold so fervently to their beliefs

對他們的信仰太過狂熱，

that they feel they must use any means necessary

以至於認為他們應該用各種方法

to make others live as they do.

讓其他人和他們過同樣的生活。

A few months prior to his arrest,

在他被捕前幾個月，

he sat me down and explained that

他和我坐著聊天解釋到

for the past few weekends, he and some friends

在過去的幾個週末， 他和他的一些朋友

had been going to a shooting range on Long Island

在長島（美國紐約州東南部島嶼）

for target practice.

進行目標射擊訓練。

He told me I'd be going with him the next morning.

他讓我第二天一早和他一起去。

We arrived at Calverton Shooting Range,

我們來到凱佛頓射擊場，

which unbeknownst to our group was being watched

我們並不知道自己已經

by the FBI.

被聯邦調查局監視了。

When it was my turn to shoot,

輪到我射擊的時候，

my father helped me hold the rifle to my shoulder

我的父親幫我扶住 肩膀上的來福槍，

and explained how to aim at the target

並教導我如何瞄準

about 30 yards off.

30 碼處的目標。

That day, the last bullet I shot

那天，我射出的最後一顆子彈

hit the small orange light that sat on top of the target

打中了目標頂上的橙色亮光，

and to everyone's surprise, especially mine,

所有人都驚呆了，尤其是我，

the entire target burst into flames.

整個目標版燃燒了。

My uncle turned to the other men,

我的叔叔轉向旁邊的人，

and in Arabic said, "Ibn abuh."

用阿拉伯語說到：「Ibn abuh」——

Like father, like son.

虎父無犬子。

They all seemed to get a really big laugh out of that comment,

他們當場開懷大笑起來，

but it wasn't until a few years later

幾年後

that I fully understood what they thought was so funny.

我才理解他們大笑的原因。

They thought they saw in me the same destruction

他們以為我和我的父親有著

my father was capable of.

同樣的摧毀能力。

Those men would eventually be convicted

這群男人最終被指控

of placing a van filled with 1,500 pounds of explosives

將滿載 1500 磅重的 炸彈的廂式貨車

into the sub-level parking lot of the World Trade Center's North Tower,

停在世界貿易中心北塔的 地下停車場，

causing an explosion that killed six people

爆炸造成 6 人死亡，

and injured over 1,000 others.

同時致使超過 1000 人受傷。

These were the men I looked up to.

這些是我曾經敬仰的人。

These were the men I called ammu, which means uncle.

這些是我曾經稱呼其為 ammu， 意為叔叔的人。

By the time I turned 19,

當我 19 歲的時候，

I had already moved 20 times in my life,

我已經搬超過 20 次家了，

and that instability during my childhood

童年所經歷的不穩定

didn't really provide an opportunity

並未給我

to make many friends.

交朋友的機會。

Each time I would begin to feel comfortable around someone,

每當我感到和附近人熟識時，

it was time to pack up and move to the next town.

就是我要收拾行囊 去下一個地方的時候。

Being the perpetual new face in class,

作為永遠的班級新生，

I was frequently the target of bullies.

我常是同學們欺負的對象。

I kept my identity a secret from my classmates

為了不被同班同學欺負，

to avoid being targeted,

我將自己的身份保密，

but as it turns out, being the quiet, chubby new kid in class

但結果是，作為 安靜又胖胖的新同學

was more than enough ammunition.

很輕易就成為被欺負的對象。

So for the most part, I spent my time at home

所以更多的時候， 我待在家裡

reading books and watching TV

看書看電視

or playing video games.

或者是打電動。

For those reasons, my social skills were lacking,

正因為這樣，我的社交能力有所缺失，

to say the least,

說簡單點是這樣，

and growing up in a bigoted household,

成長在固執的家庭，

I wasn't prepared for the real world.

我沒有準備好應對現實世界。

I'd been raised to judge people

我被教育成用武斷的方式，

based on arbitrary measurements,

依據人們的臉或宗教，

like a person's race or religion.

來評斷他人。

So what opened my eyes?

那麼，是什麼讓我開了眼界呢？

One of my first experiences

某次經歷

that challenged this way of thinking

挑戰了我思考的方式

was during the 2000 presidential elections.

發生於 2000 年美國總統競選期間。

Through a college prep program,

在預科期間，

I was able to take part

我參與了

in the National Youth Convention in Philadelphia.

在費城舉辦的全國青年大會。

My particular group's focus was on youth violence,

我這組的話題是關於青少年暴力，

and having been the victim of bullying for most of my life,

作為倍受欺負的受害者，

this was a subject in which I felt particularly passionate.

這個話題我很感興趣。

The members of our group came from many different walks of life.

組員都有著不同的生活軌跡。

One day toward the end of the convention,

大會臨近結束的某天，

I found out that one of the kids I had befriended

我發現我的某個朋友

was Jewish.

是猶太人。

Now, it had taken several days

我也是過了幾天

for this detail to come to light,

才知曉這件事情，

and I realized that there was no natural animosity

我認識到，我們之間

between the two of us.

並沒有與生俱來的仇恨。

I had never had a Jewish friend before,

我從未有過猶太朋友，

and frankly I felt a sense of pride

坦白地說，我為此感到驕傲，

in having been able to overcome a barrier

能夠跨越

that for most of my life I had been led to believe

我人生絕大部分時間

was insurmountable.

認為是不可能逾越的障礙。

Another major turning point came when

另一個轉折點是，

I found a summer job at Busch Gardens,

某年暑假，我在布希花園

an amusement park.

這個主題樂園打工。

There, I was exposed to people from all sorts of faiths and cultures,

我見識到有著不同信仰， 來自不同文化的人們，

and that experience proved to be fundamental

這樣的經驗

to the development of my character.

對我的人格發展 是至關重要的。

Most of my life, I'd been taught

因為在過去的日子， 我接收到的教育是，

that homosexuality was a sin, and by extension,

同性戀是罪惡的， 據此推斷，

that all gay people were a negative influence.

所有的同性戀者都有著 消極的影響。

As chance would have it, I had the opportunity

在我打暑期工的時間裡，

to work with some of the gay performers

我有機會和同性戀演員

at a show there,

一起合作，

and soon found that many were the kindest,

我很快發現，很多同性戀者

least judgmental people I had ever met.

是我所見過最善良， 最自由開放尊重他人的人。

Being bullied as a kid

在兒童時期被霸淩的經歷

created a sense of empathy in me

教給我要對他人的遭遇

toward the suffering of others,

感到同情和憐憫，

and it comes very unnaturally to me

對我來說，

to treat people who are kind

我會善待那些

in any other way than how I would want to be treated.

對我好的人。

Because of that feeling, I was able

因為這樣的感受，我能夠

to contrast the stereotypes I'd been taught as a child

用真實生活和經歷來

with real life experience and interaction.

抵擋從孩童時期就被灌輸的成見。

I don't know what it's like to be gay,

我不知道作為同性戀者的感受，

but I'm well acquainted with being judged

但我深知那種被

for something that's beyond my control.

無法掌控的事物所評斷的感受。

Then there was "The Daily Show."

接著是《每日秀》節目。

On a nightly basis, Jon Stewart forced me

每一晚，約翰．斯圖爾都催促我

to be intellectually honest with myself about my own bigotry

誠實面對自己的偏見，

and helped me to realize that a person's race,

幫助我認識到一個人的種族、

religion or sexual orientation

信仰和性取向

had nothing to do with the quality of one's character.

與這個人的人格沒有任何關係。

He was in many ways a father figure to me

某種程度上說， 每當我迫切需要一個父親的時候，

when I was in desperate need of one.

他就在那裡。

Inspiration can often come from an unexpected place,

鼓舞人心之事 往往來自無法預知之處，

and the fact that a Jewish comedian had done more

事實上，一個猶太裔喜劇明星

to positively influence my worldview

積極地影響我的世界觀，

than my own extremist father

比我那極端的親生父親

is not lost on me.

多得多。

One day, I had a conversation with my mother

某天，我和母親談到

about how my worldview was starting to change,

我的世界觀正在改變，

and she said something to me

她對我說，

that I will hold dear to my heart

我將在生命裡

for as long as I live.

一直帶著尊重的心。

She looked at me with the weary eyes

她用疲憊的眼神看著我，

of someone who had experienced

她看起來，的確受夠了

enough dogmatism to last a lifetime, and said,

被教條主義侵占的人生，

"I'm tired of hating people."

她說：「我已不願憎恨他人了。」

In that instant, I realized how much negative energy

瞬間，我意識到，在內心裡承受憎恨

it takes to hold that hatred inside of you.

需要多麼巨大的負能量。

Zak Ebrahim is not my real name.

扎克．伊博黑姆不是我的本名。

I changed it when my family decided

當我的家人決定 和我父親斷絕關係時

to end our connection with my father

我改了這個名字

and start a new life.

以開始新的生活。

So why would I out myself

那麼，我為什麼要 出現在公眾視線前

and potentially put myself in danger?

將自己置於可能的危險境地呢？

Well, that's simple.

嗯，這很容易解釋。

I do it in the hopes that perhaps someone someday

我這樣做是希望，也許某人某天

who is compelled to use violence

當他決定使用武力 反抗社會的時候，

may hear my story and realize

可能會聽到我的故事，並意識到

that there is a better way,

有比動武更好的方法，

that although I had been subjected

儘管我曾被灌輸

to this violent, intolerant ideology,

這樣的暴力思維， 偏狹的意識，

that I did not become fanaticized.

我並沒有為其所動。

Instead, I choose to use my experience

而是選擇透過自己的經驗

to fight back against terrorism,

來抵抗恐怖主義，

against the bigotry.

來反對偏見。

I do it for the victims of terrorism

我是為了那些遭受恐怖襲擊的受害者

and their loved ones,

以及他們的親人而做，

for the terrible pain and loss

我是為了那些被恐怖主義活動所導致的

that terrorism has forced upon their lives.

生命的苦痛與損失而做。

For the victims of terrorism, I will speak out

為了那些遭受恐怖襲擊的 受害者，我站出來

against these senseless acts

反對這些毫無意義的襲擊行動，

and condemn my father's actions.

譴責我父親的行為。

And with that simple fact, I stand here as proof

就是這樣簡單的原因， 我站在這裡證明

that violence isn't inherent in one's religion or race,

暴力不是宗教或種族與生俱來的，

and the son does not have to follow

兒子並不需要走上

the ways of his father.

和父親相同的道路。

I am not my father.

我不是我的父親。

Thank you. (Applause)

謝謝。 （掌聲）

Thank you, everybody. (Applause)

謝謝各位。 （掌聲）

Thank you all. (Applause)

謝謝大家。 （掌聲）

Thanks a lot. (Applause)

非常感謝。 （掌聲）