I am the son of a terrorist. Here's how I chose peace | Zak Ebrahim

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Madeleine Aronson

Prevoditelj: Ivan Stamenković Recezent: Katarina Smetko

On November 5th, 1990,

Petog studenog 1990.,

a man named El-Sayyid Nosair walked

čovjek po imenu El-Sayyid Nosair ušetao je

into a hotel in Manhattan

u hotel na Manhattanu

and assassinated Rabbi Meir Kahane,

i ubio je rabina Meira Kahanea,

the leader of the Jewish Defense League.

vođu Židovske obrambene lige.

Nosair was initially found not guilty of the murder,

Sudska je presuda prvo bila da Nosair nije kriv za to ubojstvo,

but while serving time on lesser charges,

ali dok je bio u zatvoru zbog drugih optužbi,

he and other men began planning attacks

on i drugi muškarci počeli su planirati napade

on a dozen New York City landmarks,

na desetak znamenitosti u New Yorku,

including tunnels, synagogues

uključujući tunele, sinagoge

and the United Nations headquarters.

i sjedište Ujedinjenih naroda.

Thankfully, those plans were foiled

Srećom, te je planove omeo

by an FBI informant.

doušnik FBI-a.

Sadly, the 1993 bombing

Na žalost, bombaški napad

of the World Trade Center was not.

na Svjetski trgovački centar iz 1993. nije.

Nosair would eventually be convicted

Nosair je na kraju osuđen

for his involvement in the plot.

zbog sudjelovanja u napadu.

El-Sayyid Nosair is my father.

El-Sayyid Nosair je moj otac.

I was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Rođen sam u Pittsburghu, u Pennsylvaniji

in 1983 to him, an Egyptian engineer,

1983., od njega, egipatskog inženjera

and a loving American mother and grade school teacher,

i brižne majke Amerikanke, učiteljice u osnovnoj školi,

who together tried their best

koji su se zajedno trudili

to create a happy childhood for me.

osigurati mi sretno djetinjstvo.

It wasn't until I was seven years old

Tek kad sam imao sedam godina

that our family dynamic started to change.

dinamika naše obitelji počela se mijenjati.

My father exposed me to a side of Islam

Otac me izložio strani islama

that few people, including the majority of Muslims,

koju rijetki, uključujući većinu muslimana,

get to see.

uspiju vidjeti.

It's been my experience that when people

Iz mojeg iskustva, kad se ljudi

take the time to interact with one another,

potrude razgovarati jedni s drugima,

it doesn't take long to realize that for the most part,

vrlo brzo shvate da većinom

we all want the same things out of life.

u životu svi želimo iste stvari.

However, in every religion, in every population,

No ipak, u svakoj religiji, svakoj populaciji,

you'll find a small percentage of people

naći ćete mali postotak ljudi

who hold so fervently to their beliefs

koji se tako gorljivo drže svojih uvjerenja

that they feel they must use any means necessary

da smatraju kako moraju koristiti sva potrebna sredstva

to make others live as they do.

da bi natjerali druge da žive kao oni.

A few months prior to his arrest,

Nekoliko mjeseci prije njegova uhićenja,

he sat me down and explained that

posjeo me i objasnio mi

for the past few weekends, he and some friends

da su proteklih nekoliko vikenda on i njegovi prijatelji

had been going to a shooting range on Long Island

išli na streljanu na Long Islandu

for target practice.

kako bi vježbali pucanje.

He told me I'd be going with him the next morning.

Rekao mi je da ću sljedećeg jutra ići s njim.

We arrived at Calverton Shooting Range,

Stigli smo na streljanu Calverton,

which unbeknownst to our group was being watched

za koju nismo znali

by the FBI.

da je pod nadzorom FBI-a.

When it was my turn to shoot,

Kad je bio moj red da pucam,

my father helped me hold the rifle to my shoulder

otac mi je pomogao držati pušku na ramenu

and explained how to aim at the target

i pojasnio mi kako da naciljam metu

about 30 yards off.

koja je bila udaljena 30-ak metara.

That day, the last bullet I shot

Tog dana, posljednji metak koji sam ispalio

hit the small orange light that sat on top of the target

pogodio je malo narančasto svjetlo na vrhu mete

and to everyone's surprise, especially mine,

i na iznenađenje svih, osobito moje,

the entire target burst into flames.

čitava meta se zapalila.

My uncle turned to the other men,

Moj ujak okrenuo se drugim muškarcima

and in Arabic said, "Ibn abuh."

i na arapskom rekao, "Ibn abuh."

Like father, like son.

Kakav otac, takav sin.

They all seemed to get a really big laugh out of that comment,

Svi su se dobro nasmijali zbog tog komentara,

but it wasn't until a few years later

ali tek sam nekoliko godina kasnije

that I fully understood what they thought was so funny.

u potpunosti shvatio što su im je bilo tako smiješno.

They thought they saw in me the same destruction

Mislili su da u meni vide istu sposobnost uništavanja

my father was capable of.

koju je imao i moj otac.

Those men would eventually be convicted

Te su ljude na kraju osudili

of placing a van filled with 1,500 pounds of explosives

za parkiranje kombija punog eksploziva

into the sub-level parking lot of the World Trade Center's North Tower,

na podzemno parkiralište sjevernog tornja Svjetskog trgovačkog centra,

causing an explosion that killed six people

što je prouzročilo eksploziju koja je ubila šestero ljudi

and injured over 1,000 others.

i ozlijedila više od 1000 drugih.

These were the men I looked up to.

To su bili ljudi u koje sam se ugledao.

These were the men I called ammu, which means uncle.

Te sam muškarce zvao ammu, što znači ujak.

By the time I turned 19,

Do svoje 19. godine

I had already moved 20 times in my life,

selio sam se već 20 puta

and that instability during my childhood

i ta nestabilnost u mojem djetinjstvu

didn't really provide an opportunity

nije mi baš davala priliku

to make many friends.

da steknem prijatelje.

Each time I would begin to feel comfortable around someone,

Kad god bih se počeo ugodno osjećati s nekime,

it was time to pack up and move to the next town.

bilo je vrijeme za pakiranje i selidbu.

Being the perpetual new face in class,

Budući da sam uvijek bio novi u razredu,

I was frequently the target of bullies.

često sam bio meta nasilnicima.

I kept my identity a secret from my classmates

Tajio sam svoj identitet od kolega u razredu

to avoid being targeted,

kako ne bi imali pik na mene,

but as it turns out, being the quiet, chubby new kid in class

ali ispada da, ako si povučen, bucmast novi dečko u razredu,

was more than enough ammunition.

to im daje i više nego dovoljno municije.

So for the most part, I spent my time at home

Stoga sam vrijeme većinom provodio kod kuće,

reading books and watching TV

čitajući knjige i gledajući TV

or playing video games.

ili igrajući videoigre.

For those reasons, my social skills were lacking,

Zato su moje društvene vještine bile manjkave,

to say the least,

da se blago izrazim,

and growing up in a bigoted household,

a budući da sam odrastao u zadrtom kućanstvu,

I wasn't prepared for the real world.

nisam bio spreman za stvarni svijet.

I'd been raised to judge people

Odgojen sam da prosuđujem ljude

based on arbitrary measurements,

na temelju proizvoljnih kriterija,

like a person's race or religion.

kao što je rasa ili vjera osobe.

So what opened my eyes?

Što mi je otvorilo oči?

One of my first experiences

Jedno od mojih prvih iskustava

that challenged this way of thinking

koje je pobijalo takav način razmišljanja

was during the 2000 presidential elections.

bilo je tijekom predsjedničkih izbora 2000.

Through a college prep program,

U sklopu programa pripreme za fakultet

I was able to take part

sudjelovao sam

in the National Youth Convention in Philadelphia.

na Nacionalnoj konvenciji mladeži u Philadelphiji.

My particular group's focus was on youth violence,

Skupina u kojoj sam bio bavila se nasiljem među mladima,

and having been the victim of bullying for most of my life,

a budući da sam većinu života bio žrtva nasilja,

this was a subject in which I felt particularly passionate.

za tu sam se temu posebno zanimao.

The members of our group came from many different walks of life.

Članovi naše grupe imali su različite životne priče.

One day toward the end of the convention,

Jednog dana, pred kraj konvencije,

I found out that one of the kids I had befriended

saznao sam da je jedan od mladića s kojima sam se sprijateljio

was Jewish.

Židov.

Now, it had taken several days

Sad, trebalo je nekoliko dana

for this detail to come to light,

da taj detalj izađe na vidjelo

and I realized that there was no natural animosity

i shvatio sam da nema prirodnog neprijateljstva

between the two of us.

među nama.

I had never had a Jewish friend before,

Nikad prije nisam imao prijatelja židovske vjere

and frankly I felt a sense of pride

i iskreno, bio sam ponosan

in having been able to overcome a barrier

jer sam svladao prepreku

that for most of my life I had been led to believe

za koju su me većinu života uvjeravali

was insurmountable.

da je nepremostiva.

Another major turning point came when

Još jedna prekretnica dogodila se

I found a summer job at Busch Gardens,

kad sam dobio ljetni posao u Busch Gardensu,

an amusement park.

zabavnom parku.

There, I was exposed to people from all sorts of faiths and cultures,

Ondje sam bio u kontaktu s ljudima različitih vjera i kultura

and that experience proved to be fundamental

i to iskustvo pokazalo se ključnim

to the development of my character.

za razvoj mojeg karaktera.

Most of my life, I'd been taught

Većinu života učili su me

that homosexuality was a sin, and by extension,

da je homoseksualnost grijeh, i samim time

that all gay people were a negative influence.

svi gay ljudi prestavljali su negativan utjecaj.

As chance would have it, I had the opportunity

Spletom okolnosti imao sam priliku

to work with some of the gay performers

raditi s nekima od gay izvođača

at a show there,

u jednoj tamošnjoj predstavi.

and soon found that many were the kindest,

Ubrzo sam otkrio da su mnogi od njih tako ljubazni,

least judgmental people I had ever met.

ljudi s najmanje predrasuda koje sam ikad upoznao.

Being bullied as a kid

Budući da sam kao dijete bio žrtva nasilja,

created a sense of empathy in me

suosjećao sam

toward the suffering of others,

s patnjom drugih

and it comes very unnaturally to me

i nije mi prirodno

to treat people who are kind

ponašati se prema ljudima koji su dobri

in any other way than how I would want to be treated.

na bilo koji drugi način osim onako kako bih htio da se ponašaju prema meni.

Because of that feeling, I was able

Zbog tog sam osjećaja uspio

to contrast the stereotypes I'd been taught as a child

suprostaviti stereotipe kojima su me učili kao dijete

with real life experience and interaction.

pravim iskustvima i interakcijama.

I don't know what it's like to be gay,

Ne znam kako je to biti gay,

but I'm well acquainted with being judged

ali dobro sam upoznat s osuđivanjem

for something that's beyond my control.

zbog nečega što je izvan moje kontrole.

Then there was "The Daily Show."

Tu je bila i emisija "The Daily Show".

On a nightly basis, Jon Stewart forced me

Svake me večeri voditelj Jon Stewart tjerao

to be intellectually honest with myself about my own bigotry

da budem intelektualno iskren sam sa sobom vezano za svoju zadrtost

and helped me to realize that a person's race,

i pomogao mi je da shvatim da rasa,

religion or sexual orientation

vjera ili seksualna orijentacija

had nothing to do with the quality of one's character.

nemaju nikakve veze s kvalitetom nečijeg karaktera.

He was in many ways a father figure to me

On mi je po mnogočemu bio očinska figura

when I was in desperate need of one.

kad mi je očajnički trebala.

Inspiration can often come from an unexpected place,

Inspiracija često može doći iz neočekivanih mjesta

and the fact that a Jewish comedian had done more

i činjenica da je židovski komičar

to positively influence my worldview

pozitivnije utjecao na moju sliku svijeta

than my own extremist father

nego moj otac ekstremist

is not lost on me.

nije mi promakla.

One day, I had a conversation with my mother

Jednog sam dana razgovarao s majkom

about how my worldview was starting to change,

o tome kako se mijenja moj pogled na svijet

and she said something to me

i rekla mi je nešto

that I will hold dear to my heart

što će mi biti drago

for as long as I live.

dok sam živ.

She looked at me with the weary eyes

Pogledala me umornim očima

of someone who had experienced

nekoga tko je iskusio

enough dogmatism to last a lifetime, and said,

dovoljno dogmatizma za cijeli život i rekla mi je:

"I'm tired of hating people."

„Umorna sam od mržnje.”

In that instant, I realized how much negative energy

U tom sam trenutku shvatio koliko je negativne energije

it takes to hold that hatred inside of you.

potrebno da držite tu mržnju u sebi.

Zak Ebrahim is not my real name.

Zak Ebrahim nije moje pravo ime.

I changed it when my family decided

Promijenio sam ga kad je moja obitelj odlučila

to end our connection with my father

prekinuti veze s mojim ocem

and start a new life.

i početi novi život.

So why would I out myself

Zašto bih onda rekao tko sam

and potentially put myself in danger?

i tako se možda doveo u opasnost?

Well, that's simple.

Pa, jednostavno je.

I do it in the hopes that perhaps someone someday

Radim to u nadi da će jednog dana netko

who is compelled to use violence

tko je prisiljen koristiti nasilje

may hear my story and realize

čuti moju priču i shvatiti

that there is a better way,

da postoji bolji način,

that although I had been subjected

da, iako sam bio izložen

to this violent, intolerant ideology,

toj nasilnoj, netolerantnoj ideologiji,

that I did not become fanaticized.

nisam postao fanatik.

Instead, I choose to use my experience

Umjesto toga, odlučio sam iskoristiti svoje iskustvo

to fight back against terrorism,

kako bih se borio protiv terorizma,

against the bigotry.

protiv zadrtosti.

I do it for the victims of terrorism

Radim to za žrtve terorizma

and their loved ones,

i njihove voljene,

for the terrible pain and loss

zbog užasne boli i gubitka

that terrorism has forced upon their lives.

koje je terorizam donio u njihove živote.

For the victims of terrorism, I will speak out

Za žrtve terorizma, progovorit ću

against these senseless acts

protiv tih bezumnih činova

and condemn my father's actions.

i osuditi djela svojeg oca.

And with that simple fact, I stand here as proof

I s tom jednostavnom činjenicom, stojim ovdje kao dokaz

that violence isn't inherent in one's religion or race,

da nasilje nije automatski prisutno u nečijoj vjeri ili rasi,

and the son does not have to follow

i da sin ne mora slijediti

the ways of his father.

put svojeg oca.

I am not my father.

Ja nisam moj otac.

Thank you. (Applause)

Hvala. (Pljesak)

Thank you, everybody. (Applause)

Hvala vam, ljudi. (Pljesak)

Thank you all. (Applause)

Hvala vam svima. (Pljesak)

Thanks a lot. (Applause)

Puno hvala. (Pljesak)