How I beat stage fright | Joe Kowan

Prevodilac: Saška Stojakov Lektor: Ivana Korom

Joe Kowan: I have stage fright.

Plašim se da nastupim na sceni.

I've always had stage fright,

Oduvek je to bilo tako,

and not just a little bit,

i ne u malim količinama,

it's a big bit.

već sam se prilično plašio.

And it didn't even matter until I was 27.

I nije mi bilo važno sve do moje dvadesetsedme godine.

That's when I started writing songs, and even then

Tada sam počeo da pišem pesme i čak i tada

I only played them for myself.

sam ih svirao samo sebi.

Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.

Sama činjenica da su cimeri u istoj kući činila je da se osetim neprijatno.

But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough.

Ali nakon par godina, samo pisanje pesama mi nije bilo dovoljno

I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people,

Imao sam priče i ideje koje sam želeo da podelim sa drugima.

but physiologically, I couldn't do it.

ali fiziološki to nisam mogao.

I had this irrational fear.

Imao sam taj neosnovani strah.

But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced,

Što sam više pisao i vežbao,

the more I wanted to perform.

to sam više želeo da nastupim.

So on the week of my 30th birthday,

Te nedelje kada sam slavio svoj 30. rođendan,

I decided I was going to go to this local open mic,

odlučio sam da odem do lokalnog kafića

and put this fear behind me.

i da ostavim strah iza sebe.

Well, when I got there, it was packed.

Pa, kada sam stigao tamo, bilo je krcato.

There were like 20 people there.

Bilo je nekih dvadesetak ljudi tamo.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

And they all looked angry.

I svi su izgledali ljuto.

But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play,

Duboko sam udahnuo i prijavio sam se da sviram,

and I felt pretty good.

osećao sam se prilično dobro.

Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn,

Prilično dobro, do nekih deset minuta pre mog nastupa,

when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me.

kada se moje telo pobunilo, i preplavio me osećaj teskobe.

Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.

Kada osetite strah, vaš simpatički nervni sistem reaguje.

So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases,

Stoga, imate nalet adrenalina, a otkucaji srca se ubrzavaju

your breathing gets faster.

dišete brže.

Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter)

Zatim vaši nevažni sistemi poput probave, počnu da se gase. (Smeh)

So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities,

Zatim se suše usta, krv ne teče do ekstremiteta,

so your fingers don't work anymore.

pa se prsti ukoče.

Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles,

Zenice se rašire, mišići stegnu, a paukovo čulo zatreperi,

basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter)

bukvalno celo telo je kao okidač. (Smeh)

That condition is not conducive to performing folk music.

Takvo stanje ne doprinosi izvođenju folk muzike.

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I mean, your nervous system is an idiot.

Hoću reći da je nervni sistem idiot.

Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference

Stvarno? Nakon 200 000 godina evolucije, još uvek ne može da uoči razliku između

between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers

saboljozubog tigra i dvadeset kantri pevača.

on a Tuesday night open mic?

u utorak na veče slobodnog nastupa?

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

I have never been more terrified -- until now.

Nikada pre se nisam tako uplašio - do sada.

(Laughter and cheers)

(Smeh i poklici)

So then it was my turn,

Dakle, bio je na mene red,

and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song,

i nekako sam se naterao da izađem na scenu i zapevam pesmu,

I open my mouth to sing the first line,

otvorio sam usta da otpevam prvi stih,

and this completely horrible vibrato --

i prilično strašan vibrato -

you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out.

znate, kada glas podrhtava - izlete iz mene.

And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has,

I ovo nije ona dobra vrsta vibrata, kao kod operskih pevača,

this is my whole body just convulsing with fear.

to je samo reakcija mog tela pomešana sa strahom.

I mean, it's a nightmare.

To je prava noćna mora.

I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable,

Postideo sam se, publici je očigledno nelagodno,

they're focused on my discomfort.

i usredsredili su se na to što je meni neugodno.

It was so bad.

Bilo je grozno.

But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.

Ali to je bilo moje prvo pravo iskustvo kao solo pevača i tekstopisca.

And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse

I nešto dobro se zaista desilo - najmanji znak pažnje publike

of that audience connection that I was hoping for.

kome sam se nadao.

And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.

I želeo sam više. A znao sam da moram da prevaziđem osećaj nervoze.

That night I promised myself: I would go back every week

Te noći sam obećao sebi: odlaziću tamo svake nedelje

until I wasn't nervous anymore.

sve dok nervoza ne nestane.

And I did. I went back every single week,

I jesam. Vraćao sam se svake nedelje,

and sure enough, week after week,

i zbilja, nedelju za nedeljom,

it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter)

stanje se nije popravljalo. Svake nedelje se isto ponavljalo. (Smeh)

I couldn't shake it.

Nisam mogao da ga se otarasim.

And that's when I had an epiphany.

I tada sam doživeo prosvetljenje.

And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter)

I prilično ga dobro pamtim, zato što mi se prosvetljenja ne događaju često. (Smeh)

All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness.

Sve što je trebalo da uradim jeste da napišem pesmu o svojoj nervozi.

That only seems authentic when I have stage fright,

Jedino to izgleda verodostojno, kada imam strah od scene,

and the more nervous I was,

i što sam ja bio nervozniji,

the better the song would be. Easy.

pesma bi bila bolja. Jednostavno.

So I started writing a song about having stage fright.

Stoga sam započeo pisanje pesme koja govori o mom strahu od scene.

First, fessing up to the problem,

Prvo, suočenje sa problemom,

the physical manifestations, how I would feel,

fizičkim manifestacijama, kako bih se osećao,

how the listener might feel.

kako bi se slušalac osećao.

And then accounting for things like my shaky voice,

I uzimanje u obzir stvari kao što su moj drhtavi glas,

and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal,

i znao sam da bih pevao pola oktave više nego uobičajeno,

because I was nervous.

zato što sam nervozan.

By having a song that explained what was happening to me,

Time što bih napisao pesmu koja bi objasnila šta mi se događa,

while it was happening,

dok se događalo,

that gave the audience permission to think about it.

to je dalo publici odobrenje da razmišlja o tome.

They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous,

Nisu morali da se osećaju loše zato što sam ja nervozan.

they could experience that with me,

već su to mogli da iskuse zajedno sa mnom.

and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)

I onda smo postali jedna velika, srećna, nervozna i nelagodna porodica. (Smeh)

By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem,

Time što sam razmišljao o publici, što sam prihvatio i ispoljio svoj problem,

I was able to take something that was blocking my progress,

mogao sam da prihvatim ono što mi zaustavlja napredak.

and turn it into something that was essential for my success.

i pretvorim ga u nešto što je neophodno za moj uspeh.

And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue

Pesma o strahu od scene pomogla mi je

da prevaziđem najozbiljniji problem

right in the beginning of a performance.

baš na samom početku nastupa.

And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs

I onda sam mogao da nastavim da pevam ostale pesme

with just a little bit more ease.

sa malim olakšanjem.

And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all.

I konačno vremenom, nisam ni morao da sviram pesmu o strahu od scene.

Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)

Osim kada sam baš bio nervozan, kao sada. (Smeh)

Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you?

Da li bi bilo u redu da vam odsviram pesmu o strahu od scene?

(Applause)

(Aplauz)

Can I have a sip of water?

Mogu li da uzmem gutljaj vode?

(Music)

(Muzika)

Thank you.

Hvala.

♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫

♫ Ne šalim se, znate, ♫

♫ this stage fright is real. ♫

♫ ovaj strah od scene je stvaran. ♫

♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫

♫ I ako tu drhtim i pevam, ♫

♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫

♫ onda znate kako se osećam. ♫

♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫

♫ I grešku koju sam pravio. ♫

♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫

♫ I tremolo izazvano drhtanjem tela. ♫

♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫

♫ Dok sedite tu sa osećajem sramote zbog mene, ♫

♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫

♫ pa ne morate. ♫

♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫

♫ Dobro, možda samo malo. ♫

(Laughter)

(Smeh)

♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes. ♫

♫ I možda bih pokušao sve vas da zamislim bez odeće. ♫

♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows. ♫

♫ Ali pevanje ispred svih golih stranaca me još više plaši. ♫

♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫

♫ Ne bih da diskutujem o tome opširno, ♫

♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫

♫ ali predstava o mom telu mi nikada nije bila jača strana. ♫

♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫

♫ Iskreno, želeo bih da ste svi vi obučeni. ♫

♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫

♫ Mislim, niste stvarno goli. ♫

♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫

♫ I ja sam taj koji ima problem. ♫

♫ And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. ♫

♫ I kažete mi, ne brini se, bićeš sjajan. ♫

♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫

♫ Ali ja sam taj koji mora da živi sa sobom ♫

♫ and I know how I get. ♫

♫ i znam kako je. ♫

♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫

♫ Vaši saveti su nežni ali kasni. ♫

♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫

♫ Ako ne i pomalo snishodljivi. ♫

♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing. ♫

♫ I taj sarkastičan ton mi nimalo ne pomaže dok pevam. ♫

♫ But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, ♫

♫ Ali sada ne bi trebalo da pričamo o ovome, ♫

♫ really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd. Hi. ♫

♫ stvarno, ja sam na sceni, vi ste u publici. Ćao. ♫

♫ And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrational fear, ♫

♫ I ne izlažem ruglu neodgajani, iracionalni strah, ♫

♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫

♫ i ako nisam bio spreman da se suočim sa svim tim, ♫

♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫

♫ sigurno ne bih bio ovde. ♫

♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫

♫ Ali ako otpevam jednu notu jasno, ♫

♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫

♫ znaćete da se oporavljam polako, ali sigurno. ♫

♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫

♫ I možda naredne nedelje, gitara počne da odzvanja ♫

♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫

♫ moj glas čist kao voda, i svi pevamo. ♫

♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫

♫ Ali verovatno ću samo ustati i početi po starom, ♫

♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫

♫ dok mi se glasnice pomeraju, ♫

♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫

♫ brzinom malo većom od zvuka. ♫

(Applause)

(Aplauz)