How I beat stage fright | Joe Kowan

Translator: Faradila Zuchrina Reviewer: Maria Nainggolan

Saya punya demam panggung.

Saya selalu demam panggung.

dan bukan masalah kecil,

ini masalah besar.

Itu bukan masalah sampai saya berumur 27.

Joe Kowan: I have stage fright.

Saat itu saya mulai menulis lagu,

I've always had stage fright,

and not just a little bit,

tapi memainkannya untuk sendiri.

it's a big bit.

Saya bahkan tidak nyaman mengetahui teman sekamar ada di rumah yang sama

And it didn't even matter until I was 27.

That's when I started writing songs, and even then

Tapi, setelah bertahun-tahun, menulis lagu saja tidak cukup.

I only played them for myself.

Saya punya banyak cerita dan ide dan ingin membagikannya

Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.

tapi secara fisiologis, saya tidak bisa.

But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough.

Saya memiliki ketakutan yang irasional ini

I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people,

Namun, semakin saya menulis dan berlatih,

but physiologically, I couldn't do it.

semakin ingin tampil.

Jadi, pada pekan ulang tahun saya ke-30,

I had this irrational fear.

saya memutuskan tampil di open mic lokal,

But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced,

dan mengabaikan ketakutan saya.

Sampai di sana, sudah banyak orang.

the more I wanted to perform.

So on the week of my 30th birthday,

Ada sekitar 20 orang di sana.

I decided I was going to go to this local open mic,

(tertawa)

and put this fear behind me.

Dan mereka terlihat marah.

Well, when I got there, it was packed.

Namun, saya mengambil napas dalam-dalam dan mendaftar untuk tampil,

There were like 20 people there.

dan saya merasa baik-baik saja.

(Laughter)

And they all looked angry.

Merasa baik sampai 10 menit sebelum giliran saya,

But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play,

saat sekujur tubuh memberontak dan kegelisahan menghujani saya.

and I felt pretty good.

Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn,

Saat merasa ketakutan, sistem saraf simpatis kalian mulai bekerja

when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me.

Lalu, adrenalin kalian berpacu, detak jantung meningkat

napas kalian tersengal-sengal.

Lalu, sistem yang tak terlalu penting mulai berhenti, seperti pencernaan.

Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.

So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases,

Kemudian, mulut menjadi kering, darah dialirkan dari ekstremitas

your breathing gets faster.

Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter)

sehingga jari-jari tidak berfungsi lagi.

Biji mata membesar, otot menegang, insting Spider-Man menggelitik.

So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities,

Pada dasarnya, tubuh kalian siap meledak.

so your fingers don't work anymore.

Keadaan tersebut tidak kondusif untuk menampilkan musik folk.

Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles,

basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter)

(tertawa)

Maksud saya, sistem saraf itu idiot.

That condition is not conducive to performing folk music.

Manusia berevolusi 200.000 tahun

dan masih tak bisa membedakan

harimau bertaring pedang dengan 20 penyanyi folk

(Laughter)

I mean, your nervous system is an idiot.

di open mic Selasa malam.

Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference

(tertawa)

Saya tak pernah merasa sangat takut

between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers

sampai sekarang

(tertawa dan bersorak)

on a Tuesday night open mic?

(Laughter)

I have never been more terrified -- until now.

(Laughter and cheers)

Jadi, tibalah giliran saya,

dan entah kenapa, saya berada di panggung, mulai bernyanyi,

membuka mulut untuk menyanyikan larik awal

So then it was my turn,

dan vibrato yang sungguh buruk ini

—tahulah, saat suara bergetar— mulai mengalir.

and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song,

Ini bukanlah vibrato yang baik seperti penyanyi opera.

I open my mouth to sing the first line,

Ini adalah seluruh tubuh berkejang dengan ketakutan

and this completely horrible vibrato --

Maksud saya, ini mimpi buruk.

you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out.

Saya merasa malu, para penonton jelas tidak nyaman.

And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has,

mereka terfokus pada ketidaknyamanan saya

this is my whole body just convulsing with fear.

Itu sangat buruk.

I mean, it's a nightmare.

I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable,

Tapi, itulah pengalaman pertama saya yang sesungguhnya sebagai musisi solo.

they're focused on my discomfort.

Ada hal baik yang terjadi. Saya bisa melihat

It was so bad.

secercah hubungan dengan penonton sesuai harapan saya

But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.

Saya ingin lebih. Tapi, saya tahu, saya harus mengatasi kegugupan ini

And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse

Malamnya, saya berjanji pada diri sendiri: akan kembali tiap pekan

of that audience connection that I was hoping for.

sampai tidak merasa gugup lagi.

And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.

Dan saya kembali tiap pekan.

That night I promised myself: I would go back every week

Dan dapat diduga, pekan demi pekan,

until I wasn't nervous anymore.

tidak membaik! Hal yang sama terjadi tiap pekan!

And I did. I went back every single week,

and sure enough, week after week,

Saya tidak bisa menghilangkannya.

Saat itulah saya mendapat ilham.

it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter)

Saya ingat sekali karena saya tidak sering dapat ilham.

(tertawa)

I couldn't shake it.

And that's when I had an epiphany.

Yang harus saya lakukan adalah menulis lagu yang eksploitasi kegugupan saya

And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter)

yang sepertinya sah saja saat demam panggung,

dan semakin saya gugup,

semakin bagus lagunya. Mudah.

All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness.

Jadi, saya mulai menulis lagu mengenai demam panggung.

That only seems authentic when I have stage fright,

and the more nervous I was,

Pertama, menerima permasalahan

the better the song would be. Easy.

perwujudan fisik dari perasaan saya

So I started writing a song about having stage fright.

perasaan pendengar,

lalu memperhitungkan hal-hal, seperti suara gemetar.

First, fessing up to the problem,

Saya akan bernyanyi setengah oktaf lebih tinggi dari biasa.

the physical manifestations, how I would feel,

karena saya sangat gugup.

how the listener might feel.

Dengan lagu yang menjelaskan keadaan saya,

And then accounting for things like my shaky voice,

and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal,

saat itu terjadi,

penonton diizinkan untuk memikirkannya.

because I was nervous.

Mereka tidak perlu mengasihani saya karena gugup

By having a song that explained what was happening to me,

dan bisa merasakannya bersama saya.

Kami menjadi keluarga besar yang bahagia, gugup, dan tidak nyaman

while it was happening,

that gave the audience permission to think about it.

They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous,

Dengan memikirkan penonton, merangkul dan mengeksploitasi masalah saya

they could experience that with me,

and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)

saya bisa mengambil sesuatu yang menghalangi progres saya

dan mengubahnya menjadi hal yang diperlukan untuk kesuksesan saya.

By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem,

Dengan lagu demam panggung, saya bisa mengatasi masalah terbesar

I was able to take something that was blocking my progress,

tepat di awal pertunjukan.

and turn it into something that was essential for my success.

Saya bisa lanjut dan memainkan lagu yang tersisa dengan sedikit lebih nyaman

And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue

Akhirnya, seiring waktu, saya tidak perlu memainkan lagu demam panggung sama sekali,

right in the beginning of a performance.

And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs

with just a little bit more ease.

kecuali saat merasa gugup,

And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all.

seperti sekarang (tertawa)

Boleh saya menyanyikan lagu demam panggung untuk kalian?

Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)

(tepuk tangan)

Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you?

(Applause)

Boleh saya minta air?

(musik)

Terima kasih.

Can I have a sip of water?

(Music)

Aku tak bercanda, tahu

Thank you.

Demam panggung ini nyata

♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫

Jika di sini aku gemetar dan bernyanyi

♫ this stage fright is real. ♫

Oh, kalian kan tahu yang kurasa

♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫

Dan kesalahan yang kan kubuat

Tremolo yang disebabkan tubuhku bergetar

♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫

Sembari kalian duduk di situ, malu akan diriku

♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫

Oh, tak perlulah seperti itu

♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫

Hmm, mungkin bolehlah sedikit saja

♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫

(tertawa)

mungkin kucoba

♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫

kubayangkan kalian tanpa baju

♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫

(Laughter)

♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes. ♫

Tapi, bernyanyi di depan orang asing telanjang

lebih menakutkan dari yang kalian tahu

♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows. ♫

Tidak mau membahas panjang lebar,

tapi citra tubuh tidak pernah menjadi kekuatanku

♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫

Sejujurnya, kuharap kalian memakai baju

♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫

Maksudku, kalian tak benar-benar telanjang

♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫

Yang bermasalah itu aku

♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫

Kalian bilang, “Jangan khawatir.

Kau tak akan apa-apa.”

♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫

Tapi, aku yang menjalani kehidupanku

♫ And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. ♫

dan aku yang tahu caranya

Nasihat kalian baik, tapi terlambat

♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫

Jika tak hanya sedikit menggurui

♫ and I know how I get. ♫

♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫

dan nada sarkastis tak menolongku saat bernyanyi

tapi, kita harus tidak membicarakannya sekarang

♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫

♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing. ♫

Kuberada di panggung Kau berada di kerumunan

♫ But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, ♫

Aku tak mengolok ketakutan

♫ really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd. Hi. ♫

yang tak terpelihara dan irasional

♫ And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrational fear, ♫

Jika aku tak siap menghadapi ini,

pastinya, aku tak akan ada di sini

Jika kubernyanyi dengan lantang dan jelas,

♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫

♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫

kau kan tahu aku mulai pulih, perlahan tapi pasti

♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫

Mungkin pekan depan, aku kan mainkan gitar

♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫

dengan suara sejernih air dan semua ikut bernyanyi

♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫

tapi mungkin juga aku akan berdiri dan mulai menyanyi

Pita suaraku bergerak

♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫

sedikit lebih cepat dari

♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫

suara

♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫

♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫

(tepuk tangan)

(Applause)