How I beat stage fright | Joe Kowan

Translator: Ezlyna Shamsuddin Reviewer: Pei Fang Ng

Joe Kowan: I have stage fright.

Saya ada masalah gugup di pentas.

I've always had stage fright,

Saya selalu gugup di pentas,

and not just a little bit,

bukan hanya sedikit,

it's a big bit.

sangat banyak.

And it didn't even matter until I was 27.

Saya tak kisah sehingga saya berusia 27 tahun.

That's when I started writing songs, and even then

Masa itu saya mula cipta lagu,

I only played them for myself.

tapi hanya untuk diri sendiri.

Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.

Mengetahui teman ada di rumah saja boleh buat saya tak selesa.

But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough.

Selepas beberapa tahun, cipta lagu saja tak cukup.

I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people,

Ada banyak cerita dan idea saya ingin kongsi,

but physiologically, I couldn't do it.

tapi secara fisiologi, saya tak mampu.

I had this irrational fear.

Saya ada rasa fobia.

Semakin banyak saya cipta dan berlatih,

But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced,

semakin teringin saya buat persembahan.

the more I wanted to perform.

So on the week of my 30th birthday,

Pada minggu hari jadi yang ke-30,

I decided I was going to go to this local open mic,

saye memutuskan untuk ke pentas terbuka,

and put this fear behind me.

dan lupakan fobia ini.

Well, when I got there, it was packed.

Apabila saya sampai di sana, tempat itu dah sesak.

There were like 20 people there.

Ada lebih kurang 20 orang.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

And they all looked angry.

Semua orang nampak marah.

But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play,

Saya tarik nafas panjang dan daftarkan diri

and I felt pretty good.

saya rasa boleh tahan bagus.

Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn,

Sampai kira-kira 10 minit sebelum giliran saya,

when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me.

seluruh badan saya memberontak, perasaan cemas melanda diri.

Apabila anda takut, sistem saraf simpatetik bertindak balas.

Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.

So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases,

Ada deruan adrenalina, jantung berdegup kencang,

your breathing gets faster.

pernafasan semakin laju.

Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter)

Sistem tak penting mula ditutup, contohnya pencernaan. (Gelak ketawa)

So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities,

Mulut jadi kering dan darah tak sampai ke kaki dan tangan,

so your fingers don't work anymore.

jari-jari tak dapat berfungsi.

Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles,

Anak mata terbeliak, otot-otot mengecut,

anda amat peka,

basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter)

seluruh badan terangsang. (Gelak ketawa)

That condition is not conducive to performing folk music.

Keadaan ini tak sesuai untuk persembahan muzik rakyat.

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

I mean, your nervous system is an idiot.

Sistem saraf begitu bodoh.

Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference

Dah lama manusia wujud, sistem ini masih tak dapat bezakan

between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers

haiwan bergigi pedang daripada penyanyi

on a Tuesday night open mic?

di pentas terbuka pada malam Selasa?

(Laughter)

(Gelak ketawa)

I have never been more terrified -- until now.

Saya tak pernah begitu gerun - sampai sekarang.

(Laughter and cheers)

(Gelak ketawa dan sorakan)

So then it was my turn,

Kemudian tiba giliran saya,

and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song,

entah kenapa, saya naik ke pentas, dan mula menyanyi,

I open my mouth to sing the first line,

Saya mula nyanyi baris pertama,

and this completely horrible vibrato --

dan vibrato yang dahsyat -

you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out.

suara keluar berubah-ubah -

And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has,

Ini bukan vibrato bagus, seperti penyanyi opera,

this is my whole body just convulsing with fear.

ini bunyi getaran badan.

I mean, it's a nightmare.

Memang dahsyat.

I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable,

Saya malu, penonton pun tak selesa,

they're focused on my discomfort.

mereka tertumpu pada ketidakselesaan saya.

It was so bad.

Sangat teruk.

But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.

Itulah pengalaman pertama saya sebagai penyanyi-pencipta lagu solo.

And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse

Sesuatu yang baik berlaku -- saya dapat merasai

of that audience connection that I was hoping for.

hubungan dengan penonton yang saya harapkan.

And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.

Saya mahukan lebih. Tapi saya perlu tewaskan kegugupan ini.

That night I promised myself: I would go back every week

Pada malam itu saya berjanji: kembali setiap minggu

until I wasn't nervous anymore.

sehingga saya tak gugup lagi.

And I did. I went back every single week,

Saya tepati. Saya kembali setiap minggu,

and sure enough, week after week,

dan minggu demi minggu,

it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter)

tak berubah pun.

Perkara sama terjadi setiap minggu. (Gelak ketawa)

I couldn't shake it.

Saya tak dapat redakannya.

And that's when I had an epiphany.

Kemudian saya dapat inspirasi.

And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter)

Saya ingat, sebab saya jarang mendapat inspirasi. (Gelak ketawa)

All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness.

Saya perlu cipta lagu yang mengeksploitasikan kegugupan saya.

That only seems authentic when I have stage fright,

Nampak autentik apabila saya gugup,

and the more nervous I was,

semakin saya gugup,

the better the song would be. Easy.

semakin baguslah lagu itu. Mudah.

So I started writing a song about having stage fright.

Saya mula cipta lagu tentang gugup pentas.

First, fessing up to the problem,

Mula-mula, akui masalah,

the physical manifestations, how I would feel,

petanda fizikal, perasaan saya,

how the listener might feel.

perasaan pendengar.

And then accounting for things like my shaky voice,

Kemudian jelaskan perkara seperti suara yang menggigil.

and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal,

Saya akan menyanyi dengan nada yang lebih tinggi

because I was nervous.

sebab saya gugup.

By having a song that explained what was happening to me,

Lagu yang menerangkan apa yang berlaku,

while it was happening,

ketika ia sedang berlaku,

that gave the audience permission to think about it.

membolehkan penonton berfikir tentangnya.

They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous,

Mereka tak perlu bersimpati sebab saya gugup,

they could experience that with me,

mereka boleh sama-sama mengalaminya,

and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)

kami berasa gembira, gugup, dan tak selesa bersama. (Gelak ketawa)

By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem,

Dengan memikirkan tentang penonton saya,

menerima dan mengeksploitasikan masalah,

I was able to take something that was blocking my progress,

saya dapat ambil sesuatu yang menyekat kemajuan saya,

and turn it into something that was essential for my success.

ubahnya kepada sesuatu yang penting untuk kejayaan.

And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue

Lagu itu membantu saya melepasi masalah paling besar

right in the beginning of a performance.

pada permulaan persembahan.

And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs

Kemudian saya boleh mainkan lagu-lagu lain

with just a little bit more ease.

dengan mudah sedikit.

And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all.

Selepas sekian waktu,

saya tak perlu lagi mainkan lagu gugup pentas.

Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)

Kecuali apabila saya gugup,

seperti sekarang. (Gelak ketawa)

Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you?

Boleh tak kalau saya mainkan lagu gugup pentas untuk anda?

(Applause)

(Tepukan)

Can I have a sip of water?

Boleh saya dapatkan seteguk air?

(Gelak ketawa)

(Music)

(Muzik)

Thank you.

Terima kasih.

♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫

♫ Saya tak buat lawak, anda tahu, ♫

♫ this stage fright is real. ♫

♫ gugup pentas benar-benar berlaku. ♫

♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫

Andainya saya menggeletar semasa menyanyi,

♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫

♫ anda tahu bagaimana saya rasa. ♫

♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫

♫ Kesilapan yang saya buat, ♫

♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫

♫ tremolo akibat daripada getaran badan. ♫

♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫

♫ Anda di sana rasa malu untuk saya. ♫

♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫

♫ Anda tak perlu malu. ♫

♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫

♫ Mungkin sedikit malu. ♫

(Laughter)

♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes. ♫

♫ Mungkin saya boleh bayangkan anda semua bogel. ♫

♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows. ♫

♫ Tapi menyanyi di depan orang yang bogel lebih menakutkan. ♫

♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫

♫ Bukan nak cerita panjang lebar, ♫

♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫

♫ tapi imej badan bukan kekuatan saya. ♫

♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫

♫ Jadi, saya harap anda semua berpakaian. ♫

♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫

♫ Maksud saya, tak betul-betul bogel. ♫

♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫

♫ Sayalah yang ada masalah. ♫

♫ And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. ♫

♫ Anda berkata, jangan bimbang, kamu akan jadi bagus. ♫

♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫

♫ Tapi saya adalah saya, ♫

♫ and I know how I get. ♫

♫ saya tahu apa akan jadi. ♫

♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫

♫ Nasihat anda lembut tapi lambat, ♫

♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫

♫ mungkin sedikit merendah-rendahkan. ♫

♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing. ♫

♫ Nada menyindir itu tak membantu nyanyian saya. ♫

♫ But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, ♫

♫ Tapi tak perlulah kita berbicara tentangnya, ♫

♫ really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd. Hi. ♫

♫ saya di pentas, anda penonton. Hai. ♫

♫ And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrational fear, ♫

♫ Saya bukannya bergurau tentang fobia saya. ♫

♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫

♫ Jika saya tak sedia menghadapinya, ♫

♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫

♫ saya takkan berada di sini. ♫

♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫

♫ Jika saya mengumandangkan dengan jelas, ♫

♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫

♫ perlahan-lahan saya semakin pulih. ♫

♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫

♫ Mungkin minggu depan, saya akan mainkan gitar, ♫

♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫

♫ suara saya jelas dan semua orang menyanyi. ♫

♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫

♫ Mungkin saya akan naik ke pentas dan semuanya semakin baik, ♫

♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫

♫ peti suara saya bergerak, ♫

♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫

♫ laju sedikit daripada bunyi. ♫

(Tepukan)

(Applause)