Julia Sweeney has "The Talk"

Translator: Matej Divjak Reviewer: Klavdija Cernilogar

Imam hčerko Mulan.

In ko je bila lansko leto stara osem let,

I have a daughter, Mulan.

And when she was eight, last year,

je za šolo pripravljala poročilo

oziroma je imela domačo nalogo o žabah.

she was doing a report for school

Bili sva v neki restavraciji,

or she had some homework about frogs.

ko je rekla: "Torej, v bistvu

And we were at this restaurant,

žabe izležejo jajčeca

and she said, "So, basically,

in jajčeca se spremenijo v paglavce, paglavci pa v žabe."

frogs lay eggs

and the eggs turn into tadpoles,

Odgovorila sem: "Veš, nisem najbolj na tekočem glede razmnoževanja žab.

and tadpoles turn into frogs."

And I said, "Yeah. You know, I'm not really up on my frog reproduction that much.

Mislim, da so samice tiste, ki ležejo jajčeca, in potem jih samci oplodijo.

It's the females, I think, that lay the eggs,

In potem se razvijejo v paglavce in žabe."

and then the males fertilize them.

In vpraša: "Kaj? Imajo samo samice jajčeca?"

And then they become tadpoles and frogs."

Odgovorila sem: "Ja."

And she says, "What? Only the females have eggs?"

Pa nadaljuje: "In kaj je to oplojevanje?"

And I said, "Yeah."

Rekla sem: "Ah, to je ena dodatna sestavina,

And she goes, "And what's this fertilizing?"

veš, ki jo potrebuješ, da narediš novo žabo

So I kind of said, "Oh, it's this extra ingredient,

you know, that you need

iz mame žabe in očeta žabca."

to create a new frog

In rekla je: "A to drži tudi za ljudi?"

from the mom and dad frog." (Laughter)

And she said, "Oh, so is that true for humans too?"

In sem si mislila: "Ok, pa smo tam."

And I thought, "Okay, here we go."

Nisem vedela, da se bo to zgodilo že pri osmih.

Poskušala sem se spomniti vseh vodičev in spomnila sem se samo tega:

I didn't know it would happen so quick, at eight.

I was trying to remember all the guidebooks,

"Odgovori samo na vprašanje, ki ga postavljajo.

and all I could remember was,

Ne dajaj dodatnih informacij." (smeh)

"Only answer the question they're asking.

Tako sem odvrnila: "Ja."

Don't give any more information." (Laughter)

Pa je vprašala: "In kje, em,

So I said, "Yes."

And she said, "And where do, um,

kje človeške ženske,

kje ženske ležejo svoja jajčeca?"

where do human women,

In sem rekla: "No,

like, where do women lay their eggs?"

zanimivo, da vprašaš." (smeh)

And I said, "Well,

"Razvile smo se tako, da imamo svoj lasten ribnik.

funny you should ask. (Laughter)

We have evolved to have our own pond.

Imamo svoj ribnik v svojih telesih.

We have our very own pond inside our bodies.

In svoja jajčeca ležemo tam,

ni nas treba skrbeti zaradi tujih jajčec ali česa podobnega.

And we lay our eggs there,

we don't have to worry about other eggs or anything like that.

Je naš lasten ribnik. In tako se to dogaja."

It's our own pond. And that's how it happens."

In nadaljuje: "Kako pa se oplodijo?"

In ji povem: "Torej,

And she goes, "Then how do they get fertilized?"

moški, skozi svoj penis,

And I said, "Well,

Men, through their penis,

oplodijo jajčeca s spermo, ki pride ven.

they fertilize the eggs by the sperm coming out.

Ti pa potem prideš skozi žensko vagino."

In tako medtem ko jeva, njena čeljust kar pade in pravi:

And you go through the woman's vagina."

"Mama! Od tam, kjer lulamo?"

And so we're just eating, and her jaw just drops,

and she goes, "Mom!

In ji rečem: "Vem, vem."

Like, where you go to the bathroom?"

And I said, "I know.

(smeh)

I know."

(Laughter)

Tako smo se razvile. Res se zdi čudno.

Je nekako tako, kot da bi imeli tovarno za predelavo odpadkov

That's how we evolved. It does seem odd.

čisto zraven zabaviščnega parka...

It is a little bit like having a waste treatment plant

Slabo pozicioniranje, toda..." (smeh)

right next to an amusement park ...

In vpraša: "Kaj?" In nadaljuje: "Ampak mama!

Bad zoning, but ..." (Laughter)

She's like, "What?" And she goes, "But Mom,

Moški in ženske eni drugih ne smejo videti nagih, mama.

but men and women can't ever see each other naked, Mom.

Kako se lahko to potem sploh zgodi?"

In rečem: "Torej," kot da bi bila Margaret Mead.

So how could that ever happen?"

And then I go, "Well," and then I put my Margaret Mead hat on.

"Človeški samci in samice

razvijejo posebno vez

"Human males and females

develop a special bond,

in ko so mnogo starejši, mnogo, mnogo starejši kot ti

in imajo poseben občutek,

and when they're much older, much, much older than you,

takrat so lahko goli skupaj."

and they have a very special feeling,

In me vpraša: "Mama,

then they can be naked together."

si ti tudi že to počela?"

And she said, "Mom,

In ji povem: "Ja."

have you done this before?"

In reče: "Ampak mama, ti ne moreš imeti otrok."

And I said, "Yes."

Ker ve, da je posvojena in da ne morem imeti otrok. In rečem: "Ja."

And she said, "But Mom, you can't have kids."

Because she knows that I adopted her and that I can't have kids.

In pravi: "No, tega ti ni treba več početi."

And I said, "Yes."

In rečem: "..."

And she said, "Well, you don't have to do that again."

And I said, "..."

Potem vpraša: "Kako pa se zgodi, ko sta moški in ženska skupaj?

And then she said, "But how does it happen when a man and woman are together?

Mislim, kako vesta, da je čas za to?

Mama, ali moški kar reče:

Like, how do they know that's the time?

'Je zdaj čas, da slečem hlače?'"

Mom, does the man just say,

(smeh)

'Is now the time to take off my pants?'"

In ji rečem: "Ja."

(Laughter)

(smeh)

And I said, "Yes."

"Točno tako.

(Laughter)

"That is exactly right.

Točno tako se zgodi."

In potem se peljeva domov in gleda skozi okno, ko spet vpraša:

That's exactly how it happens."

So we're driving home and she's looking out the window, and she goes,

"Mama, kaj če se dva človeka srečata na ulici,

moški in ženska in kar začneta to početi. Se to lahko zgodi?"

"Mom. What if two just people saw each other on the street,

like a man and a woman, they just started doing it. Would that ever happen?"

In ji rečem: "O, ne. Ljudje to počnemo v zasebnosti.

And I said, "Oh, no. Humans are so private.

Ne..."

In nadaljuje: "Kaj pa, če bi bila zabava in bi bilo mnogo deklet in mnogo fantov

Oh ..."

And then she goes, "What if there was like a party,

in mnogo moških in žensk in bi kar začeli to početi?

and there was just like a whole bunch of girls and a whole bunch of boys,

and there was a bunch of men and women and they just started doing it, Mom?

Se to lahko zgodi?"

In odgovorim: "O, ne, ne.

Would that ever happen?"

And I said, "Oh, no, no.

Tega ne delamo tako."

Potem pa prispeva domov in vidiva mačko.

That's not how we do it."

In že vpraša: "Mama, kako pa mačke to počnejo?"

Then we got home and we see the cat. And she goes,

In ji povem: "V bistvu je enako."

"Mom, how do cats do it?"

In potem se je zataknila pri nogah. "Kam pa gredo noge, mama?

And I go, "Oh, it's the same. It's basically the same."

Ne razumem, kako je z nogami."

And then she got all caught up in the legs. "But how would the legs go, Mom?

In reče: "Mama, ne znajo vsi narediti špage."

I don't understand the legs."

In ji rečem: "Vem, ampak noge..."

She goes, "Mom, everyone can't do the splits."

in verjetno rečem: "Z nogami se že znajdemo."

And I go, "I know, but the legs ..."

In nadaljuje: "Ampak ne razumem."

and I'm probably like, "The legs get worked out."

In rečem: "Veš, kaj če greva kar na internet

And she goes, "But I just can't understand it."

in mogoče bova lahko videli... recimo na Wikipediji." (smeh)

So I go, "You know, why don't we go on the Internet,

and maybe we can see ... like on Wikipedia." (Laughter)

Tako greva na splet in vpiševa "parjenje mačk."

In na žalost je na YouTubu mnogo posnetkov parjenja mačk.

So we go online, and we put in "cats mating."

And, unfortunately, on YouTube, there's many cats mating videos.

Pa sva jih gledali in sem zelo hvaležna,

ker je govorila: "Uau! To je tako neverjetno."

And we watched them and I'm so thankful,

In vpraša: "Kaj pa psi?"

because she's just like, "Wow! This is so amazing."

She goes, "What about dogs?"

In sva vnesli "parjenje psov"

in, veste, gledava to in čisto jo posrka.

So we put in dogs mating, and,

Potem pa vpraša: "Mama,

you know, we're watching it, and she's totally absorbed.

misliš, da imajo na internetu

And then she goes, "Mom,

do you think they would have, on the Internet,

tudi parjenje ljudi?"

(smeh)

any humans mating?"

In takrat sem spoznala, da sem prijela svojo osemletnico za roko

(Laughter)

And then I realized that

in jo popeljala naravnost v internetno pornografijo.

I had taken my little eight year old's hand,

Pogledala sem jo

and taken her right into Internet porn. (Laughter)

v njen zaupljiv, ljubeč obraz

And I looked into this

in rekla:

trusting, loving face,

"Oh, ne.

and I said,

"Oh, no.

To se ne more zgoditi."

That would never happen."

Hvala.

(aplavz)

Thank you.

Hvala.

(Applause)

(aplavz)

Thank you.

(Applause)

Hvala. Vesela sem, da sem tukaj.

Thank you. I'm so happy to be here.