Faith Jegede: What I've learned from my autistic brothers | TED

127,526 views ใƒป 2012-11-02

TED


ืื ื ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ืœืžื˜ื” ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ.

00:00
Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast
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ืžืชืจื’ื: Shlomo Adam ืžื‘ืงืจ: Ido Dekkers
00:16
Today I have just one request.
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ื”ื™ื•ื ื™ืฉ ืœื™ ื‘ืงืฉื” ืื—ืช ื‘ืœื‘ื“.
00:19
Please don't tell me I'm normal.
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ืื ื, ืืœ ืชืืžืจื• ืœื™ ืฉืื ื™ ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ืช.
00:22
Now I'd like to introduce you to my brothers.
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ื›ืขืช ืื ื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ื›ื™ืจ ืœื›ื ืืช ืื—ื™.
00:27
Remi is 22,
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ืจืžื™ ื”ื•ื ื‘ืŸ 22,
00:29
tall and very handsome.
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ื’ื‘ื•ื” ื•ื ืื” ืžืื“.
00:32
He's speechless, but he communicates joy
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ื”ื•ื ืœื ืžื“ื‘ืจ, ืื‘ืœ ืžื‘ื™ืข ืฉืžื—ื”
00:36
in a way that some of the best orators cannot.
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ื™ื•ืชืจ ืžื›ืคื™ ืฉื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ื˜ื•ื‘ื™ ื”ื ื•ืืžื™ื.
00:40
Remi knows what love is.
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ืจืžื™ ื™ื•ื“ืข ืžื”ื™ ืื”ื‘ื”.
00:43
He shares it unconditionally and he shares it regardless.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืขื ื™ืง ืื•ืชื” ืœืœื ืชื ืื™ ื•ืœืœื ืื‘ื—ื ื”.
00:47
He's not greedy. He doesn't see skin color.
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ื”ื•ื ืื™ื ื• ื—ืžื“ืŸ. ื”ื•ื ืœื ืจื•ืื” ืืช ืฆื‘ืข ื”ืขื•ืจ.
00:50
He doesn't care about religious differences, and get this:
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ืœื ืื™ื›ืคืช ืœื• ืžื”ื‘ื“ืœื™ื ืขืœ ืจืงืข ื“ืชื™, ื•ืชืงืฉื™ื‘ื• ื˜ื•ื‘:
00:54
He has never told a lie.
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ื”ื•ื ืžืขื•ืœื ืœื ืืžืจ ื“ื‘ืจ-ืฉืงืจ.
00:57
When he sings songs from our childhood,
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ื›ืฉื”ื•ื ืฉืจ ืฉื™ืจื™ื ืžื™ืžื™ ื™ืœื“ื•ืชื ื•,
01:00
attempting words that not even I could remember,
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ืžื ืกื” ืœื”ื’ื•ืช ืžืœื™ื ืฉืืคื™ืœื• ืื ื™ ืœื ื–ื•ื›ืจืช,
01:02
he reminds me of one thing:
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ื”ื•ื ืžื–ื›ื™ืจ ืœื™ ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“:
01:05
how little we know about the mind, and how wonderful
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ื›ืžื” ืžืขื˜ ืื ื• ื™ื•ื“ืขื™ื ืขืœ ื”ืžื•ื—, ื•ื›ืžื” ื ืคืœื ื”ื•ื ื•ื“ืื™
01:07
the unknown must be.
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ื”ื‘ืœืชื™-ื™ื“ื•ืข ื”ื–ื”.
01:11
Samuel is 16. He's tall. He's very handsome.
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ืกืžื•ืืœ ื”ื•ื ื‘ืŸ 16. ื”ื•ื ื’ื‘ื•ื”. ื”ื•ื ื ืื” ืžืื“.
01:17
He has the most impeccable memory.
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ื™ืฉ ืœื• ื–ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืžื•ืฉืœื.
01:20
He has a selective one, though.
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ืื‘ืœ ื–ื”ื• ื–ื›ืจื•ืŸ ื‘ืจืจื ื™.
01:23
He doesn't remember if he stole my chocolate bar,
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ื”ื•ื ืœื ื–ื•ื›ืจ ืื ืกื—ื‘ ืœื™ ืืช ื”ืฉื•ืงื•ืœื“,
01:27
but he remembers the year of release for every song on my iPod,
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ืื‘ืœ ื”ื•ื ื–ื•ื›ืจ ืืช ืฉื ืช ืคืจืกื•ืžื• ืฉืœ ื›ืœ ืฉื™ืจ ื‘"ืื™ื™ืคื•ื“" ืฉืœื™,
01:30
conversations we had when he was four,
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ืฉื™ื—ื•ืช ืฉื”ื™ื• ืœื ื• ื›ืฉื”ื™ื” ื‘ืŸ ืืจื‘ืข,
01:32
weeing on my arm on the first ever episode of Teletubbies,
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ืืช ื”ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ืฉื‘ื›ื” ืขืœ ื–ืจื•ืขื™ ื‘ืคืจืง ื”ืจืืฉื•ืŸ ืฉืœ ื”"ื˜ืœื˜ื‘ื™ื–",
01:36
and Lady Gaga's birthday.
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ื•ืืช ื™ื•ื ื”ื”ื•ืœื“ืช ืฉืœ ืœื™ื™ื“ื™ ื’ืื’ื.
01:39
Don't they sound incredible?
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ื ื›ื•ืŸ ืฉื”ื ื ื”ื“ืจื™ื?
01:42
But most people don't agree.
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ืื‘ืœ ืจื•ื‘ ื”ืื ืฉื™ื ืœื ื—ื•ืฉื‘ื™ื ื›ืš.
01:45
And in fact, because their minds don't fit
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ื•ื‘ืขืฆื, ื‘ื’ืœืœ ืฉืžื•ื—ืชื™ื”ื ืœื ืžืชืื™ืžื™ื
01:48
into society's version of normal,
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ืœื”ื’ื“ืจื” ื”ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ืช ืฉืœ "ื ื•ืจืžืœื™",
01:50
they're often bypassed and misunderstood.
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ืžืจื‘ื™ื ืœื”ืชืขืœื ืžื”ื ื•ืœื ืœื”ื‘ื™ืŸ ืื•ืชื.
01:53
But what lifted my heart and strengthened my soul
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ืืš ืžื” ืฉืจื•ืžื ืืช ืจื•ื—ื™ ื•ื—ื™ื–ืง ืืช ืœื™ื‘ื™
01:57
was that even though this was the case,
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ื”ื™ื” ืฉืœืžืจื•ืช ื›ืœ ื–ื”,
01:59
although they were not seen as ordinary,
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ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉืœื ืจื•ืื™ื ื‘ื”ื ื‘ื ื™-ืื“ื ืจื’ื™ืœื™ื,
02:02
this could only mean one thing:
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ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ืœื›ืš ืจืง ืžืฉืžืขื•ืช ืื—ืช:
02:05
that they were extraordinary --
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ืฉื”ื ื‘ืœืชื™-ืจื’ื™ืœื™ื --
02:08
autistic and extraordinary.
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ื”ืื•ื˜ื™ืกื˜ื™ื ื”ื ื‘ืœืชื™-ืจื’ื™ืœื™ื.
02:12
Now, for you who may be less familiar with the term "autism,"
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ื•ืœืืœื” ืžื›ื ืฉืคื—ื•ืช ืžื›ื™ืจื™ื ืืช ื”ืžื•ืฉื’ "ืื•ื˜ื™ื–ื",
02:17
it's a complex brain disorder that affects social communication,
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ืžื“ื•ื‘ืจ ื‘ื”ืคืจืขืช ืžื•ื— ืžื•ืจื›ื‘ืช ืฉืžืฉืคื™ืขื” ืขืœ ื”ืชืงืฉื•ืจืช ื”ื—ื‘ืจืชื™ืช,
02:21
learning and sometimes physical skills.
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ืขืœ ื”ืœืžื™ื“ื” ื•ืœืขืชื™ื ื’ื ืขืœ ื›ื™ืฉื•ืจื™ื ื’ื•ืคื ื™ื™ื.
02:24
It manifests in each individual differently,
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ื”ื™ื ืžื•ืคื™ืขื” ื‘ืฆื•ืจื” ืฉื•ื ื” ืืฆืœ ื›ืœ ืื—ื“ ื•ืื—ื“,
02:27
hence why Remi is so different from Sam.
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ื•ืœื›ืŸ ืจืžื™ ื›ื” ืฉื•ื ื” ืžืกืื.
02:30
And across the world, every 20 minutes, one new person
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ื‘ื›ืœ ื”ืขื•ืœื, ืžื™ื“ื™ 20 ื“ืงื•ืช, ืขื•ื“ ื‘ืŸ-ืื“ื
02:33
is diagnosed with autism, and although it's one of
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ืžืื•ื‘ื—ืŸ ื›ืื•ื˜ื™ืกื˜, ื•ืœืžืจื•ืช ืฉื–ืืช
02:35
the fastest-growing developmental disorders in the world,
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ืื—ืช ื”ื”ืคืจืขื•ืช ื”ื”ืชืคืชื—ื•ื™ื•ืช ืฉื”ื›ื™ ืžืชืคืฉื˜ื•ืช ื‘ืขื•ืœื,
02:39
there is no known cause or cure.
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ืื™ืŸ ืœื” ื›ืœ ื’ื•ืจื ืื• ืชืจื•ืคื” ืžื•ื›ืจื™ื.
02:42
And I cannot remember the first moment I encountered autism,
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ืื™ื ื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื–ื›ื•ืจ ืืช ื”ืคืขื ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ื‘ื” ืคื’ืฉืชื™ ื‘ืื•ื˜ื™ื–ื,
02:45
but I cannot recall a day without it.
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ืื‘ืœ ืื™ื ื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื–ื›ื•ืจ ื•ืœื• ื™ื•ื ืื—ื“ ื‘ืœืขื“ื™ื•.
02:48
I was just three years old when my brother came along,
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ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืจืง ื‘ืช ืฉืœื•ืฉ ื›ืฉืื—ื™ ื ื•ืœื“,
02:51
and I was so excited that
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ื•ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื›ื” ื ืจื’ืฉืช
02:53
I had a new being in my life.
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ืœืงื‘ืœ ืื“ื ื ื•ืกืฃ ื‘ื—ื™ื™,
02:56
And after a few months went by,
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ื•ืื—ืจื™ ื—ื•ื“ืฉื™ื ืžืกืคืจ
02:59
I realized that he was different.
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ื”ื‘ื ืชื™ ืฉื”ื•ื ืฉื•ื ื”.
03:01
He screamed a lot.
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ื”ื•ื ืฆืจื— ื”ืžื•ืŸ.
03:03
He didn't want to play like the other babies did,
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ื”ื•ื ืœื ืจืฆื” ืœืฉื—ืง ื›ืžื• ื™ืชืจ ื”ืชื™ื ื•ืงื•ืช,
03:06
and in fact, he didn't seem
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ื•ืœืžืขืฉื”, ืœื ื ืจืื” ืฉื”ื•ื
03:08
very interested in me whatsoever.
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ื‘ื›ืœืœ ืžืชืขื ื™ื™ืŸ ื‘ื™.
03:11
Remi lived and reigned in his own world, with his own rules,
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ืจืžื™ ื—ื™ ื‘ืขื•ืœืžื• ืฉืœื•, ื•ืฉืœื˜ ื‘ื• ืœืคื™ ื—ื•ืงื™ื•-ื”ื•ื,
03:15
and he found pleasure in the smallest things,
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ื•ืฉืื‘ ืขื•ื ื’ ืžื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ืงื˜ื ื™ื ื‘ื™ื•ืชืจ,
03:17
like lining up cars around the room
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ื›ืžื• ืœืกื“ืจ ืžื›ื•ื ื™ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื”ื—ื“ืจ,
03:20
and staring at the washing machine
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ืœื‘ื”ื•ืช ื‘ืžื›ื•ื ืช ื”ื›ื‘ื™ืกื”
03:22
and eating anything that came in between.
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ื•ื‘ื™ื ืชื™ื™ื ืœืื›ื•ืœ ื›ืœ ื“ื‘ืจ.
03:25
And as he grew older, he grew more different,
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ื›ื›ืœ ืฉื”ืชื‘ื’ืจ ื”ื•ื ื ืขืฉื” ืฉื•ื ื” ื™ื•ืชืจ,
03:29
and the differences became more obvious.
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ื•ื”ื”ื‘ื“ืœื™ื ื”ืœื›ื• ื•ื ืขืฉื• ื‘ืจื•ืจื™ื ื™ื•ืชืจ.
03:31
Yet beyond the tantrums and the frustration
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ืืš ืžืขื‘ืจ ืœื”ืชืงืคื™ ื”ื–ืขื, ื”ืชืกื›ื•ืœ
03:35
and the never-ending hyperactivity
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ื•ื”ื”ื™ืคืจืืงื˜ื™ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื”ืื™ื ืกื•ืคื™ืช,
03:38
was something really unique:
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ื”ื™ื” ืžืฉื”ื• ื™ื™ื—ื•ื“ื™ ื‘ืืžืช:
03:40
a pure and innocent nature, a boy who saw the world
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ืื•ืคื™ ื˜ื”ื•ืจ ื•ืชืžื™ื, ื ืขืจ ืฉืจืื” ืืช ื”ืขื•ืœื
03:44
without prejudice, a human who had never lied.
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ืœืœื ื“ืขื•ืช ืงื“ื•ืžื•ืช, ืื“ื ืฉืžืขื•ืœื ืœื ืฉื™ืงืจ.
03:50
Extraordinary.
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ื‘ืœืชื™-ืจื’ื™ืœ.
03:53
Now, I cannot deny that there have been
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ื ื›ื•ืŸ, ืœื ืื›ื—ื™ืฉ
03:55
some challenging moments in my family,
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ืฉื”ื™ื• ื‘ืžืฉืคื—ืชื™ ื›ืžื” ืจื’ืขื™ื ืงืฉื™ื,
03:57
moments where I've wished that they were just like me.
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ืจื’ืขื™ื ื‘ื”ื ื™ื™ื—ืœืชื™ ืฉื”ื ื™ื”ื™ื• ื›ืžื•ื ื™.
04:00
But I cast my mind back to the things that they've taught me
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ืืš ืื ื™ ืžื—ื–ื™ืจื” ืืช ืขืฆืžื™ ืœื“ื‘ืจื™ื ืฉื”ื ืœื™ืžื“ื• ืื•ืชื™
04:03
about individuality and communication and love,
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ืขืœ ืื™ื ื“ื™ื‘ื™ื“ื•ืืœื™ื•ืช, ืชืงืฉื•ืจืช ื•ืื”ื‘ื”,
04:07
and I realize that these are things that
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ื•ืื ื™ ืชื•ืคืกืช ืฉืืช ื”ื“ื‘ืจื™ื ื”ืืœื”
04:10
I wouldn't want to change with normality.
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ืœื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ืจื•ืฆื” ืœื”ื—ืœื™ืฃ ื‘ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ื•ืช.
04:15
Normality overlooks the beauty that differences give us,
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ื”ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ื•ืช ืžื—ืžื™ืฆื” ืืช ื”ื™ื•ืคื™ ืฉืžืขื ื™ืงื™ื ืœื ื• ื”ื”ื‘ื“ืœื™ื,
04:20
and the fact that we are different doesn't mean that one of us is wrong.
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ื•ื”ืขื•ื‘ื“ื” ืฉืื ื• ืฉื•ื ื™ื ืื™ื ื” ืื•ืžืจืช ืฉืื—ื“ ืžืื™ืชื ื• ื˜ื•ืขื”,
04:23
It just means that there's a different kind of right.
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ืืœื ืฉืคืฉื•ื˜ ื™ืฉ ื’ื ืกื•ื’ ืื—ืจ ืฉืœ ื ื›ื•ืŸ.
04:27
And if I could communicate just one thing to Remi
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ื•ืื ื”ื™ื™ืชื™ ื™ื›ื•ืœื” ืœื”ืขื‘ื™ืจ ื“ื‘ืจ ืื—ื“ ื•ื™ื—ื™ื“
04:31
and to Sam
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ืœืจืžื™, ืœืกืื
04:33
and to you,
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ื•ืœื›ื,
04:35
it would be that you don't have to be normal.
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ื”ืจื™ ื–ื” ืฉืื™ื ื›ื ื—ื™ื™ื‘ื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ื™ื.
04:39
You can be extraordinary.
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ืืชื ื™ื›ื•ืœื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืœืชื™-ืจื’ื™ืœื™ื.
04:43
Because autistic or not,
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ื›ื™ ื‘ื™ืŸ ืื ื• ืื•ื˜ื™ืกื˜ื™ื ืื• ืœื,
04:45
the differences that we have --
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ื”ื”ื‘ื“ืœื™ื ืฉื™ืฉ ื‘ื™ื ื™ื ื• --
04:47
We've got a gift! Everyone's got a gift inside of us,
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ื™ืฉ ืœื ื• ืžืชื ื”! ืœื›ืœ ืื—ื“ ื™ืฉ ื‘ืชื•ื›ื• ืžืชื ื”,
04:51
and in all honesty, the pursuit of normality
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ื•ื‘ื›ืœ ื”ื›ื ื•ืช, ื”ืจื“ื™ืคื” ืื—ืจ ื”ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ื•ืช
04:55
is the ultimate sacrifice of potential.
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ื”ื™ื ื”ื•ื™ืชื•ืจ ื”ืื•ืœื˜ื™ืžื˜ื™ื‘ื™ ืขืœ ืคื•ื˜ื ืฆื™ืืœ.
04:58
The chance for greatness, for progress and for change
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ื”ืกื™ื›ื•ื™ ืœื’ื“ื•ืœื”, ืœืงื™ื“ืžื” ื•ืœืฉื™ื ื•ื™
05:02
dies the moment we try to be like someone else.
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ื’ื•ื•ืข ื‘ืจื’ืข ื‘ื• ืื ื• ืžื ืกื™ื ืœื”ื™ื•ืช ื›ืžื• ืžื™ืฉื”ื• ืื—ืจ.
05:06
Please -- don't tell me I'm normal.
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ืื ื -- ืืœ ืชืืžืจื• ืœื™ ืฉืื ื™ ื ื•ืจืžืœื™ืช.
05:09
Thank you. (Applause)
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ืชื•ื“ื” ืจื‘ื”. [ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
05:12
(Applause)
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[ืžื—ื™ืื•ืช ื›ืคื™ื™ื]
ืขืœ ืืชืจ ื–ื”

ืืชืจ ื–ื” ื™ืฆื™ื’ ื‘ืคื ื™ื›ื ืกืจื˜ื•ื ื™ YouTube ื”ืžื•ืขื™ืœื™ื ืœืœื™ืžื•ื“ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช. ืชื•ื›ืœื• ืœืจืื•ืช ืฉื™ืขื•ืจื™ ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืขื‘ืจื™ื ืขืœ ื™ื“ื™ ืžื•ืจื™ื ืžื”ืฉื•ืจื” ื”ืจืืฉื•ื ื” ืžืจื—ื‘ื™ ื”ืขื•ืœื. ืœื—ืฅ ืคืขืžื™ื™ื ืขืœ ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื‘ืื ื’ืœื™ืช ื”ืžื•ืฆื’ื•ืช ื‘ื›ืœ ื“ืฃ ื•ื™ื“ืื• ื›ื“ื™ ืœื”ืคืขื™ืœ ืืช ื”ืกืจื˜ื•ืŸ ืžืฉื. ื”ื›ืชื•ื‘ื™ื•ืช ื’ื•ืœืœื•ืช ื‘ืกื ื›ืจื•ืŸ ืขื ื”ืคืขืœืช ื”ื•ื•ื™ื“ืื•. ืื ื™ืฉ ืœืš ื”ืขืจื•ืช ืื• ื‘ืงืฉื•ืช, ืื ื ืฆื•ืจ ืื™ืชื ื• ืงืฉืจ ื‘ืืžืฆืขื•ืช ื˜ื•ืคืก ื™ืฆื™ืจืช ืงืฉืจ ื–ื”.

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