Faith Jegede: What I've learned from my autistic brothers | TED

122,699 views ・ 2012-11-02

TED


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Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Morton Bast
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Today I have just one request.
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Please don't tell me I'm normal.
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Now I'd like to introduce you to my brothers.
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Remi is 22,
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tall and very handsome.
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He's speechless, but he communicates joy
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in a way that some of the best orators cannot.
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Remi knows what love is.
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He shares it unconditionally and he shares it regardless.
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He's not greedy. He doesn't see skin color.
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He doesn't care about religious differences, and get this:
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He has never told a lie.
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When he sings songs from our childhood,
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attempting words that not even I could remember,
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he reminds me of one thing:
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how little we know about the mind, and how wonderful
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the unknown must be.
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Samuel is 16. He's tall. He's very handsome.
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He has the most impeccable memory.
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He has a selective one, though.
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He doesn't remember if he stole my chocolate bar,
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but he remembers the year of release for every song on my iPod,
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conversations we had when he was four,
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weeing on my arm on the first ever episode of Teletubbies,
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and Lady Gaga's birthday.
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Don't they sound incredible?
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But most people don't agree.
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And in fact, because their minds don't fit
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into society's version of normal,
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they're often bypassed and misunderstood.
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But what lifted my heart and strengthened my soul
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was that even though this was the case,
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although they were not seen as ordinary,
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this could only mean one thing:
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that they were extraordinary --
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autistic and extraordinary.
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Now, for you who may be less familiar with the term "autism,"
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it's a complex brain disorder that affects social communication,
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learning and sometimes physical skills.
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It manifests in each individual differently,
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hence why Remi is so different from Sam.
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And across the world, every 20 minutes, one new person
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is diagnosed with autism, and although it's one of
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the fastest-growing developmental disorders in the world,
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there is no known cause or cure.
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And I cannot remember the first moment I encountered autism,
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but I cannot recall a day without it.
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I was just three years old when my brother came along,
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and I was so excited that
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I had a new being in my life.
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And after a few months went by,
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I realized that he was different.
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He screamed a lot.
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He didn't want to play like the other babies did,
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and in fact, he didn't seem
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very interested in me whatsoever.
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Remi lived and reigned in his own world, with his own rules,
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and he found pleasure in the smallest things,
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like lining up cars around the room
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and staring at the washing machine
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and eating anything that came in between.
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And as he grew older, he grew more different,
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and the differences became more obvious.
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Yet beyond the tantrums and the frustration
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and the never-ending hyperactivity
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was something really unique:
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a pure and innocent nature, a boy who saw the world
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without prejudice, a human who had never lied.
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Extraordinary.
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Now, I cannot deny that there have been
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some challenging moments in my family,
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moments where I've wished that they were just like me.
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But I cast my mind back to the things that they've taught me
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about individuality and communication and love,
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and I realize that these are things that
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I wouldn't want to change with normality.
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Normality overlooks the beauty that differences give us,
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and the fact that we are different doesn't mean that one of us is wrong.
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It just means that there's a different kind of right.
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And if I could communicate just one thing to Remi
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and to Sam
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and to you,
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it would be that you don't have to be normal.
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You can be extraordinary.
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Because autistic or not,
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the differences that we have --
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We've got a gift! Everyone's got a gift inside of us,
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and in all honesty, the pursuit of normality
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is the ultimate sacrifice of potential.
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The chance for greatness, for progress and for change
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dies the moment we try to be like someone else.
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Please -- don't tell me I'm normal.
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Thank you. (Applause)
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(Applause)
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