The demise of guys? | Philip Zimbardo

Translator: Ereblir Kadriu Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

So today, I want us to reflect

Sot, une deshiroj qe te reflektojme

on the demise of guys.

ne zhdukjen e djemve.

Guys are flaming out academically;

Djemte po deshtojne nga ana akademike;

they're wiping out socially with girls

ato kane veshtiresi te shoqerizohen me vajzat

and sexually with women.

dhe seksualisht me grate.

Other than that, there's not much of a problem.

Pervec kesaj, s'ka ndonje problem tjeter.

So what's the data?

Pra cilat jane te dhenat?

So the data on dropping out is amazing.

Te dhenat per braktisje shkolle jane te habitshme.

Boys are 30 percent more likely than girls

Djemte jane 30 perqind me te prirur sesa vajzat

to drop out of school.

te braktisin shkollen.

In Canada, five boys drop out for every three girls.

Ne Kanada, pese djem braktisin shkollen per cdo tre vajza.

Girls outperform boys now at every level,

Vajzat kane performanca me te mira ne cdo nivel,

from elementary school to graduate school.

nga shkolla fillore deri te diplomimi.

There's a 10 percent differential

Eshte 10 perqind diference

between getting BA's and all graduate programs,

ndermjet marrjes se Bachelor-it dhe te gjitha programeve diplomike

with guys falling behind girls.

me djemte qe renditen pas vajzave.

Two-thirds of all students in special ed. remedial programs are guys.

Dy te tretat e studenteve ne programe te edukimit korigjues jane djem.

And as you all know,

Dhe sic e dini te gjithe,

boys are five times more likely than girls

djemte jane pese here me te prirur se vajzat

to be labeled as having attention deficit disorder --

te etiketohen me mungese te vemendjes--

and therefore we drug them with Ritalin.

keshtuqe i qetsojme ata me Ritalin.

What's the evidence of wiping out?

Cila eshte evidenca e renies?

First, it's a new fear of intimacy.

Fillimisht, eshte nje frike e re e initimitetit.

Intimacy means physical, emotional connection

Intimiteti nenkupton lidhshmeri fizike e emocionale

with somebody else --

me dike tjeter--

and especially with somebody of the opposite sex

dhe vecanerisht me dike te gjinise se kundert

who gives off ambiguous, contradictory,

i cili dergon sinjalet e dykuptushme, kontradiktore,

phosphorescent signals.

fosforoshente.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

And every year there's research done

Cdo vit behen hulumtime

on self-reported shyness among college students.

ne druajtjen e vete-raportuar mes studenteve te universitetit.

And we're seeing a steady increase among males.

Dhe po shohim nje rritje te qendrushme tek meshkujt.

And this is two kinds.

Dhe kjo eshte ne dy lloje.

It's a social awkwardness.

Eshte nje ngathtesi shoqerore.

The old shyness was a fear of rejection.

Druajtja e vjeter ishte frike e refuzimit.

It's a social awkwardness like you're a stranger in a foreign land.

Eshte nje ngathtesi shoqerore sikur jeni nje i huaj ne toke te huaj.

They don't know what to say, they don't know what to do,

Ata nuk dine cfare te thone, nuk dine cfare te bejne,

especially one-on-one [with the] opposite sex.

sidomos nje-ne-nje me gjinine e kundert.

They don't know the language of face contact,

Ata nuk dine gjuhen e kontaktit te fytyres

the non-verbal and verbal set of rules

rregullat verbale dhe jo- verbale

that enable you to comfortably talk to somebody else,

qe mundesojne qe te flisini lehtesisht me dike tjeter,

listen to somebody else.

te degjoni dike tjeter.

There's something I'm developing here called social intensity syndrome,

Do te doja te zhvilloja ketu konceptin e quajtur sindromi i intensitetit shoqeror,

which tries to account for why guys really prefer

i cili tenton te shpjegoje pse djemte preferojne

male bonding over female mating.

lidhjet me meshkujt kundrejt femrave .

It turns out, from earliest childhood,

Me sa duket, qe nga femijeria e hershme,

boys, and then men,

djemte, dhe pastaj burrat,

prefer the company of guys --

preferojne shoqerine e meshkujve--

physical company.

shoqerine fizike.

And there's actually a cortical arousal we're looking at,

Dhe ne fakt po studiojme nje stimulim te pjeses se korteksit ne tru

because guys have been with guys

sepse djemte bashkohen me djem

in teams, in clubs, in gangs, in fraternities,

ne skuadra, klube, ne grupe, ne miqesi,

especially in the military, and then in pubs.

sidomos ne ushtri, dhe pastaj ne klubet.

And this peaks at Super Bowl Sunday

Dhe kjo arrje kulmin ne Super Bowl Sunday

when guys would rather be in a bar with strangers,

ku djemte me shume do te preferonin te ishin ne nje bar me te panjohur,

watching a totally overdressed Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers,

duke pare Aaron Rodgers te Green Bay Packers krejt te veshur,

rather than Jennifer Lopez totally naked in the bedroom.

sesa Jennifer Lopez krejt te zhveshur ne dhome te gjumit.

The problem is they now prefer

Problemi eshte se ata tani preferojne

[the] asynchronistic Internet world

boten e pa sinkronizuar te internetit

to the spontaneous interaction

ndaj bashkeveprimit spontan

in social relationships.

ne mardheniet shoqerore.

What are the causes? Well, it's an unintended consequence.

Cilat jane shkaqet? Eshte nje pasoje e paqellimshme.

I think it's excessive Internet use in general, excessive video gaming,

Une mendoj se perdorimi i tepruar i internetit ne pergjithesi, video lojrave,

excessive new access to pornography.

qasje e tepruar ne pornografi.

The problem is these are arousal addictions.

Problemi eshte se keto jane varesi te stimuluara.

Drug addiction, you simply want more.

Varesi ne droge, ju thjesht deshironi me shume.

Arousal addiction, you want different.

Varesi e eksitimit, ju deshironi te ndryshme.

Drugs, you want more of the same -- different.

Drogat, ju deshironi me shume te se njejtes-- te ndryshme.

So you need the novelty in order for the arousal to be sustained.

Pra ju duhet nje gje e re ne menyre qe eksitimi te jete i qendrushem.

And the problem is the industry is supplying it.

Dhe problemi eshte se industria po e furnizon ate.

Jane McGonigal told us last year

Jane McGonigal na tha vitin e kaluar

that by the time a boy is 21,

se ne kohen kur nje djale eshte 21,

he's played 10,000 hours of video games,

ai ka luajtur 10,000 ore ne video lojra,

most of that in isolation.

shumicen prej saj ne izolim.

As you remember, Cindy Gallop said

Sic ju kujtohet, Cindy Gallop tha

men don't know the difference

burrat nuk e dine ndryshimin

between making love and doing porn.

ndermjet berjes dashuri dhe pornografise.

The average boy now watches 50 porn video clips a week.

Nje djale mesatarisht shikon 50 video porno ne jave.

And there's some guy watching a hundred, obviously.

Dhe ka djem qe shikojne njeqind, me sa duket.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

And the porn industry is the fastest growing industry in America --

Industria pornografike eshte industria me rritje me te shpejte ne Amerike--

15 billion annually.

15 miliarde ne vit.

For every 400 movies made in Hollywood,

Per cdo 400 filma te prodhuar ne Hollywood,

there are 11,000 now made porn videos.

jane bere 11,000 video pornografike.

So the effect, very quickly,

Shpejt e shpejt, keshtu qe efekti,

is it's a new kind of arousal.

eshte nje lloj i ri i eksitimit.

Boys' brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way

Truri i djemve po riformatohet ne menyre krejtsisht te re

for change, novelty, excitement and constant arousal.

per ndryshim, risi, entuziazem dhe stimulim konstant.

That means they're totally out of sync in traditional classes,

Kjo nenkupton qe ata jane krejt te pasinkronizuar ne kurset tradicionale,

which are analog, static, interactively passive.

te cilet jane analoge, statike, interaktive pasive.

They're also totally out of sync

Ata gjithashtu jane larg sinkronizimit

in romantic relationships,

ne mardheniet romantike,

which build gradually and subtly.

te cilat i ndertojne gradualisht dhe bute

So what's the solution? It's not my job.

Pra cila eshte zgjidhja? Nuk eshte puna ime.

I'm here to alarm. It's your job to solve.

Jam ketu per te alarmuar. Eshte puna juaj t'a zgjidhni.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

(Applause)

( Duartrokitje)

But who should care? The only people who should care about this

Por kujt duhet t'i interesoje? Te vetmit njerez te cilet duhet te shqetesohen per kete

is parents of boys and girls,

jane prinderit e djemve dhe vajzave,

educators, gamers, filmmakers

edukatoret, prodhuesit e filmave

and women who would like a real man

dhe grate te cilat duan nje burre prej verteti

who they can talk to, who can dance,

me te cilin mund te flasin, mund te vallezojne,

who can make love slowly

mund te beje dashuri ngadale

and contribute to the evolutionary pressures

dhe te kontribuojne ne presionet e evolucionit

to keep our species above banana slugs.

per te mbajtur specien tone mbi nivelin e kermijve.

No offense to banana slug owners. Thank you.

Pa dashur te ofendoj pronaret e kermijve. Faleminderit.

(Applause)

( Duartroktije)