Isabel Allende: How to live passionately—no matter your age | TED

Translator: Eva Hoxha Reviewer: Helena Bedalli

Hi, kids.

Pershendetje, kalamaja.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

I'm 71.

Une jam 71 vjece.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)

My husband is 76.

Burri im eshte 76 vjec.

My parents are in their late 90s,

Prinderit e mi jane ne fund te 90-tave,

and Olivia, the dog, is 16.

dhe Olivia, qeni eshte 16 vjec.

So let's talk about aging.

Keshtu qe le te flasim per plakjen.

Let me tell you how I feel

Me lejoni t'ju them sesi ndihem

when I see my wrinkles in the mirror

kur shoh rrudhat e mia ne pasqyre

and I realize that some parts of me have dropped

dhe kur kuptoj se disa pjese te miat me kane rene

and I can't find them down there.

dhe nuk mund ti gjej aty poshte.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

Mary Oliver says in one of her poems,

Mary Oliver thote ne nje nga poemat e saj,

"Tell me, what is it that you plan to do

"Me tregoni, se cfare planifikoni te beni

with your one wild and precious life?"

me jeten tuaj te vetme te eger e te vyer?"

Me, I intend to live passionately.

Une, kisha per qellim te jetoja me pasion.

When do we start aging?

Kur ne fillojme te plakemi?

Society decides when we are old,

Shoqeria vendos se kur ne jemi te plakur,

usually around 65, when we get Medicare,

zakonisht rreth moshes 65, kur ne marrim ndihmen shendetesore Medicare,

but we really start aging at birth.

por ne te vertete ne fillojme te plakemi kur lindim.

We are aging right now,

Ne po plakemi dhe ne kete moment,

and we all experience it differently.

dhe te gjithe ne e perjetojme ne menyra te ndryshme.

We all feel younger than our real age,

Ne te gjithe ndjehemi me te rinj sesa mosha jone reale,

because the spirit never ages.

sepse shpirti kurre nuk plaket.

I am still 17.

Une jam akoma 17 vjece.

Sophia Loren. Look at her.

Sophia Loren. Shikojeni ate.

She says that everything you see

Ajo thote se cdo gje qe ju shihni

she owes to spaghetti.

ajo ia detyron spagetit.

I tried it and gained 10 pounds

Une e provova dhe shtova 5 kg

in the wrong places.

ne vendet e gabuara.

But attitude, aging is also attitude and health.

Por sjellja, plakja eshte gjithashtu menyre te sjelluri dhe shendet.

But my real mentor in this journey of aging

Por mentorja ime e vertete ne kete udhetim te plakjes

is Olga Murray.

eshte Olga Murray.

This California girl at 60

Kjo vajze kaliforniane ne moshen 60 vjec

started working in Nepal to save young girls

filloi te punoje ne Nepal per te shpetuar vajzat e reja

from domestic bondage.

nga skllaveria familjare.

At 88, she has saved 12,000 girls,

Ne moshen 88 vjecare, ajo kishte shpetuar 12 mije vajza,

and she has changed the culture in the country.

dhe kishte ndryshuar kulturen e vendit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)

Now it is illegal for fathers

Tani eshte e paligjshme per baballaret

to sell their daughters into servitude.

te shesin vajzat e tyre ne roberi.

She has also founded orphanages

Ajo gjithashtu ka themeluar jetimore

and nutritional clinics.

dhe klinika ushqyerje.

She is always happy

AJo eshte gjithmone e lumtur

and eternally young.

dhe perjetesisht e re.

What have I lost in the last decades?

Cfare kam humbur une ne dekadat e fundit?

People, of course,

Njerezit sigurisht,

places, and the boundless energy of my youth,

vendet, dhe energjine e pashtershme te rinise sime,

and I'm beginning to lose independence,

dhe kam filluar te humb pavaresine,

and that scares me.

dhe kjo me frikeson mua.

Ram Dass says that dependency hurts,

Ram Dass thote qe varesia te dhemb,

but if you accept it, there is less suffering.

por nese e pranon ate, atehere vuan me pak.

After a very bad stroke,

Pas nje ishemie te rende,

his ageless soul watches the changes

shpirti i tij i pamoshe shikon ndryshimet

in the body with tenderness,

ne trup me butesi,

and he is grateful to the people who help him.

dhe ai eshte mirenjohes per njerezit qe e ndihmojne ate.

What have I gained?

Cfare kam fituar?

Freedom: I don't have to prove anything anymore.

Liri: Nuk kam cfare ti provoj asgje, askujt.

I'm not stuck in the idea of who I was,

Nuk kam ngecur ne idene se kush isha,

who I want to be,

se kush duhet te behem,

or what other people expect me to be.

ose se cfare njerezit e tjere presin qe une te jem.

I don't have to please men anymore,

Nuk kam pse te kenaq burrat me,

only animals.

vetem kafshet.

I keep telling my superego to back off

Vazhdoj ti them egos sime shume te madhe te zbrapset

and let me enjoy what I still have.

dhe te me lejoje te shijoj ato qe akoma kam.

My body may be falling apart,

Trupi im mund te jete duke u shperbere,

but my brain is not, yet.

por truri im akoma jo.

I love my brain.

E dashuroj trurin tim.

I feel lighter.

Ndjehem me e lehte.

I don't carry grudges, ambition, vanity,

Nuk mbaj me vete inate, ambicie, kotesi,

none of the deadly sins that are not even

asnje nga mekatet vrastare per te cilat as

worth the trouble.

nuk ia vlen te shqetesohesh.

It's great to let go.

Eshte e mrekullueshme te lesh te shkoje.

I should have started sooner.

Duhet te kisha filluar me pare.

And I also feel softer

Dhe gjithashtu ndjehem me e bute

because I'm not scared of being vulnerable.

sepse nuk kam frike te ndjehem e prekshme.

I don't see it as weakness anymore.

Nuk e shoh me kete si dobesi.

And I've gained spirituality.

Dhe kam fituar shpirterisht.

I'm aware that before,

Jam e ndergjegjshme se me pare,

death was in the neighborhood.

vdekja ishte ne rrethinat e lagjes.

Now, it's next door, or in my house.

Tani, eshte tek shtepia ngjitur ose ne shtepine time.

I try to live mindfully

Perpiqem te jetoj e vetedijshme

and be present in the moment.

dhe te jem e pranishme ne moment.

By the way, the Dalai Lama

Meqe ra fjala, Dalai Lama

is someone who has aged beautifully,

eshte dikush qe eshte plakur me hijeshi,

but who wants to be vegetarian and celibate?

por kush do te jete vegjetarian dhe beqar?

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

Meditation helps.

Meditimi ndihmon.

(Video) Child: Ommm. Ommm. Ommm.

(Video) Femija : Ommm. Ommm. Ommm.

Isabel Allende: Ommm. Ommm. There it is.

Isabel Allende: Ommm. Ja ku eshte.

And it's good to start early.

Dhe eshte mire te fillosh sa me heret.

You know, for a vain female like myself,

E dini, per nje femer mendjemadhe si une,

it's very hard to age in this culture.

eshte e veshtire te plakesh ne kete kulture.

Inside, I feel good, I feel charming, seductive, sexy.

Shpirterisht, ndjehem mire, ndjehem sharmante, joshese, seksi.

Nobody else sees that. (Laughter)

Askush tjeter nuk e sheh kete. (Te qeshura)

I'm invisible.

Jam e padukshme.

I want to be the center of attention.

Une dua te jem qendra e vemendjes.

I hate to be invisible.

Une e urrej te jem e padukshme,

(Laughter) (Applause)

(Te qeshura) (Duartrokitje)

This is Grace Dammann.

Kjo eshte Grace Damman.

She has been in a wheelchair for six years

Ajo ka qene ne karrige me rrota per 6 vjet

after a terrible car accident.

pas nje aksidenti te tmerrshem me makine.

She says that there is nothing more sensual

Ajo thote se nuk ka asgje me sensuale

than a hot shower,

sesa nje dush i nxehte,

that every drop of water

se cdo pike uje

is a blessing to the senses.

eshte nje bekim per shqisat.

She doesn't see herself as disabled.

Ajo nuk e sheh veten si te paafte.

In her mind, she's still surfing in the ocean.

Ne mendjen e saj, ajo eshte akoma duke serfuar ne oqean.

Ethel Seiderman, a feisty, beloved activist

Ethel Sederman, nje aktiviste shume e dashur dhe festive

in the place where I live in California.

ne nje vend ku une jetoj ne Kaliforni.

She wears red patent shoes,

Ajo vesh kepuce te kuqe me shkelqim

and her mantra is that one scarf is nice

dhe motoja e saj eshte qe nje shall eshte kendshem

but two is better.

por 2 eshte me mire.

She has been a widow for nine years,

AJo eshte e ve prej 9 vitesh,

but she's not looking for another mate.

por ajo nuk eshte duke kerkuar per nje tjeter partner.

She says that there is only a limited number

Ajo thote qe eshte nje numer i limituar

of ways you can screw —

e menyrave sesi mund te besh seks-

well, she says it in another way —

ajo e thote ne nje tjeter menyre -

and she has tried them all.

dhe se ajo i ka provuar te gjitha.

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

I, on the other hand,

Une, ne anen tjeter,

I still have erotic fantasies with Antonio Banderas —

akoma kam fantazi erotike me Antonio Banderas -

(Laughter) —

(Te qeshura)-

and my poor husband has to put up with it.

dhe burri im i gjore duhet ta duroje kete gje.

So how can I stay passionate?

Keshtu qe si mund te ndjehem e apasionuar?

I cannot will myself to be passionate at 71.

Une nuk mund te detyroj veten te jem e pasionuar ne moshen 71 vjecare.

I have been training for some time,

Jam perpjekur per disa kohe,

and when I feel flat and bored, I fake it.

dhe kur ndjehesha e merzitur, shtiresha.

Attitude, attitude.

Sjellja, sjellja.

How do I train? I train by saying yes

Si stervitem une? Stervitem duke thene po

to whatever comes my way:

te cfaredo gjeje qe me del perpara:

drama, comedy, tragedy,

drames, komedise, tragjedise,

love, death, losses.

dashurise, vdekjes, humbjeve.

Yes to life.

PO, jetes.

And I train by trying to stay in love.

Dhe stervitem duke u perpjekur te qendroj e dashuruar.

It doesn't always work,

Nuk eshte se fuksionon gjithmone,

but you cannot blame me for trying.

por nuk mund te me fajesosh mua qe perpiqem.

And, on a final note,

Dhe, si shenim perfundimtar,

retirement in Spanish is jubilación.

pensioni ne spanjisht eshte "jubilacion".

Jubilation. Celebration.

Ngazellim. Festim.

We have paid our dues.

Ne kemi paguar detyrimet tona,

We have contributed to society.

Ne kemi kontribuar ne shoqeri.

Now it's our time, and it's a great time.

Tani eshte koha jone, dhe eshte nje kohe fantastike,

Unless you are ill or very poor,

Duke perjashtuar rastet kur je i semure ose shume i varfer,

you have choices.

ti ke zgjedhje.

I have chosen to stay passionate,

Une kam zgjedhur te qendroj e apasionuar,

engaged with an open heart.

e angazhuar me nje zemer te madhe.

I am working on it every day.

Po punoj me kete cdo dite.

Want to join me?

Deshironi te bashkoheni me mua?

Thank you.

Faleminderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)

June Cohen: So Isabel — IA: Thank you.

June Cohen: Keshtu Isabel — IA: Faleminderit.

JC: First of all,

JC: Fillimisht,

I never like to presume to speak for the TED community,

Nuk po supozoj se flas ne emer te komunitetit te TED,

but I would like to tell you that I have a feeling

por kam deshire t'ju them qe mendoj

we can all agree that you are still charming,

se te gjithe jemi ne nje mendje se ju jeni akoma sharmante,

seductive and sexy. Yes?

joshese dhe seksi. PO?

IA: Aww, thank you. (Applause)

IA: Ahh, faleminderit. (Duartrokitje)

JC: Hands down. IA: No, it's makeup.

JC: Pa diskutim. IA: JO, eshte make up.

Moderator: Now, would it be awkward

Moderator: Tani, do te ishte e cuditshme

if I asked you a follow-up question about your erotic fantasies?

nese do t'ju beja disa pyetje per fantazite e tua erotike?

IA: Oh, of course. About what?

IA: Oh, sigurisht. Per cfare?

(Laughter)

(Te qeshura)

Moderator: About your erotic fantasies. IA: With Antonio Banderas.

Moderatorja: Per fantazite e tua erotike. IA: Me Antonio Banderas.

Moderator: I was just wondering if you have anything more to share.

Moderatorja: Po pyesja veten nese ke ndonje gje tjeter per te ndare me ne.

IA: Well, one of them is that — (Laughter)

IA: Mire, njera prej tyre eshte - (Te qeshura)

One of them is that I place a naked Antonio Banderas

NJera prej tyre eshte se une vendos nje Antonio Banderas te zhveshur

on a Mexican tortilla,

nje nje omlete meksikane

I slather him with guacamole and salsa,

hedh mbi te guacemole dhe salsa

I roll him up, and I eat him. (Laughter)

e mbledh dhe me pas e ha. (Te qeshura)

Thank you.

Faleminderit.

(Applause)

(Duartrokitje)