Are you a giver or a taker? | Adam Grant

3,920,924 views ใƒป 2017-01-24

TED


ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุฃุฏู†ุงู‡ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ.

00:00
Translator: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Camille Martรญnez
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ุงู„ู…ุชุฑุฌู…: Abdalrhman Elazab
00:12
I want you to look around the room for a minute
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ุฃูุฑูŠุฏ ู…ู†ูƒู… ุฃู† ุชู†ุธุฑูˆุง ุญูˆู„ ุงู„ุบุฑูุฉ ู„ุฏู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ
ูˆุชุญุงูˆู„ูˆุง ุฅูŠุฌุงุฏ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุดุฎุต ู…ุฑูŠุถ ุจุฌู†ูˆู† ุงู„ุนุธู…ุฉ ู‡ู†ุง--
00:15
and try to find the most paranoid person here --
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00:17
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
00:18
And then I want you to point at that person for me.
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ูˆู…ู† ุซู…ู‘ูŽ ุฃูุฑูŠุฏ ู…ู†ูƒู… ุฃู† ุชูุดูŠุฑูˆุง ู„ูŠ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต.
00:21
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
00:22
OK, don't actually do it.
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ุญุณู†ุงู‹ุŒ ู„ุงุชูุนู„ูˆุง ู‡ุฐุง ุญู‚ุงู‹.
00:23
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
ูˆู„ูƒู† ูƒุนุงู„ูู… ู†ูุณ ุชู†ุธูŠู…ูŠุŒ
00:25
But, as an organizational psychologist,
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00:26
I spend a lot of time in workplaces,
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ู‚ุถูŠุช ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ูู† ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ููŠ ุฃู…ุงูƒู† ุงู„ุนู…ู„ุŒ
00:28
and I find paranoia everywhere.
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ูˆูˆุฌุฏุช ุฌู†ูˆู† ุงู„ุนุธู…ุฉ ููŠ ูƒู„ ู…ูƒุงู†.
00:31
Paranoia is caused by people that I call "takers."
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ู…ู† ู‚ูุจู„ ู†ุงุณ ุฃูุณู…ูŠู‡ู… "ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูˆู†".
00:33
Takers are self-serving in their interactions.
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ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูˆู† ูŠุฎุฏู…ูˆู† ู…ุตุงู„ุญู‡ู… ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ.
ูƒู„ ู…ุง ูŠู‡ูู… ููŠ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู‡ูˆ ู…ุงุชุณุชุทูŠุน ุชู‚ุฏูŠู…ู‡ ู„ูŠ.
00:36
It's all about what can you do for me.
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00:38
The opposite is a giver.
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ุงู„ุนูƒุณ ู…ู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูุนุทูŠ.
00:40
It's somebody who approaches most interactions by asking,
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ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ู…ุง ูŠุณุฃู„ูƒุŒ
"ู…ุง ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุฃุณุชุทูŠุน ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ู„ุฃุฌู„ูƒุŸ"
00:43
"What can I do for you?"
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ุฃูุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุนุทูŠูƒู… ูุฑุตุฉ ู„ุชููƒุฑูˆุง ุจุฃุณู„ูˆุจูƒู….
00:45
I wanted to give you a chance to think about your own style.
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ุงู„ุฌู…ูŠุน ู„ุฏูŠู‡ ู„ุญุธุงุช ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุฎุฐ ูˆุงู„ุนุทุงุก.
00:48
We all have moments of giving and taking.
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ูˆุฃุณู„ูˆุจูƒ ู‡ูˆ ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุชุนุงู…ู„ูƒ ู…ุน ุฃุบู„ุจ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠ ุฃุบู„ุจ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุชุŒ
00:50
Your style is how you treat most of the people most of the time,
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ู‡ูˆ ุดุฎุตูŠุชูƒ ุงู„ุงุนุชูŠุงุฏูŠุฉ.
00:53
your default.
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00:54
I have a short test you can take
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ู„ุฏูŠ ุฅุฎุชุจุงุฑ ุตุบูŠุฑ ู„ุชูุนู„ูˆู‡
00:55
to figure out if you're more of a giver or a taker,
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ูˆุชูƒุชุดููˆุง ุฅุฐุง ูƒู†ุชู… ุขุฎุฐูŠู† ุฃูˆ ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู† ุฃูƒุซุฑุŒ
00:58
and you can take it right now.
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ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ูƒู… ุงู„ู‚ูŠุงู… ุจู‡ ุงู„ุขู†.
00:59
[The Narcissist Test]
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(ุฅุฎุชุจุงุฑ ุงู„ู†ุฑุฌุณูŠุฉ)
01:01
[Step 1: Take a moment to think about yourself.]
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ุงู„ุฎุทูˆุฉ 1ุŒููƒุฑ ููŠ ู†ูุณูƒ ู„ุจุนุถ ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช.
01:03
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
01:04
[Step 2: If you made it to Step 2, you are not a narcissist.]
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ุงู„ุฎุทูˆุฉ 2 ุŒ ุฅู† ุฅู†ุชู‚ู„ุช ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฎุทูˆุฉ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูŠุฉ ุฅุฐุงู‹ ู„ุณุช ู†ุฑุฌุณูŠ.
01:07
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดูŠุก ุงู„ูˆุญูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุณุฃู‚ูˆู„ู‡ ุจุฏูˆู† ุจูŠุงู†ุงุช ุชุฏุนู…ู‡ุŒ
01:10
This is the only thing I will say today that has no data behind it,
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01:13
but I am convinced the longer it takes for you to laugh at this cartoon,
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ูˆู„ูƒู†ูŠ ู…ู‚ุชู†ุน ุจุฃู†ู‡ ูƒู„ู…ุง ุฃุฎุฐุช ูˆู‚ุชุงู‹ ุฃูƒุจุฑ ู„ุชุถุญูƒ ุนู„ูŠ ุงู„ูƒุฑุชูˆู†ุŒ
01:17
the more worried we should be that you're a taker.
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ูƒู„ู…ุง ุดุนุฑู†ุง ุจุงู„ู‚ู„ู‚ ูƒูˆู†ูƒ ุดุฎุต ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ
01:19
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
01:20
Of course, not all takers are narcissists.
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ุจุงู„ุทุจุน ู„ูŠุณ ูƒู„ ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ ู†ุฑุฌุณูŠ.
01:22
Some are just givers who got burned one too many times.
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ุงู„ุจุนุถ ู…ู†ู‡ู… ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ู…ุนุทุงุฆูŠู† ูˆ ุฎูุฏูุนูˆุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ูู† ู…ุฑุฉ .
01:25
Then there's another kind of taker that we won't be addressing today,
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ูˆู…ู† ุซู… ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู†ูˆุน ุขุฎุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูŠู† ู„ู† ู†ูุฎุงุทุจู‡ู… ุงู„ูŠูˆู… ุŒ
01:29
and that's called a psychopath.
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ูˆูŠูุฏุนูˆู† ุงู„ู…ุฑุถู‰ ุงู„ู†ูุณูŠูŠู†
(ุถุญูƒ)
01:31
(Laughter)
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01:32
I was curious, though, about how common these extremes are,
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ูƒู†ุช ูุถูˆู„ูŠุงู‹ ุญูˆู„ ู…ุฏู‰ ุฅู†ุชุดุงุฑ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุฃููƒุงุฑุŒ
01:35
and so I surveyed over 30,000 people across industries
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ูˆู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุฃุฌุฑูŠุช ุงุณุชุจูŠุงู† ุนู„ู‰ 30 ุฃู„ู ุดุฎุต
ู…ูู† ุซู‚ุงูุงุช ู…ุฎุชู„ูุฉ .
01:38
around the world's cultures.
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01:39
And I found that most people are right in the middle
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ูˆุฌุฏุช ุจุฃู† ุฃุบู„ุจ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ู†ุชุตู
ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุฎุฐ ูˆุงู„ุนุทุงุก .
01:42
between giving and taking.
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01:43
They choose this third style called "matching."
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ู„ู‚ุฏ ุฅุฎุชุงุฑูˆุง ู…ุง ูŠูุณู…ูŠ ุจุงู„ุชู…ุงุซู„ .
ุฅู† ูƒู†ุช ุชูˆุงุฒู† ุจูŠู† ุงู„ุฃุฎุฐ ูˆุงู„ุนุทุงุก ูุงู†ุช ุดุฎุต ู…ูู…ุงุซูู„(ูŠุนุงู…ู„ ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ )
01:46
If you're a matcher, you try to keep an even balance of give and take:
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01:49
quid pro quo -- I'll do something for you if you do something for me.
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ู…ูู‚ุงูŠุถุฉ - ุฃูุนู„ ู„ูƒ ุดุฆ ููŠ ู…ู‚ุงุจู„ ุดุฆ ุชูุนู„ู‡ ู„ูŠ-
01:52
And that seems like a safe way to live your life.
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ูˆูŠุจุฏูˆุง ุฃู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ ู…ู„ุงุฆู…ุฉ.
ูˆู„ูƒู† ู‡ู„ ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ูƒูุงุกุฉ ูˆุฅู†ุชุงุฌูŠุฉ ุŸ
01:55
But is it the most effective and productive way to live your life?
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01:58
The answer to that question is a very definitive ...
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ุงู„ุฅุฌุงุจุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ ุญุงุณู…ุฉ ...
02:00
maybe.
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ุฑุจู…ุง .
(ุถุญูƒ)
02:02
(Laughter)
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02:03
I studied dozens of organizations,
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ุฏุฑุณุช ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ู†ุธู…ุงุชุŒ
02:05
thousands of people.
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ุฃู„ุขู ุงู„ู†ุงุณ.
02:06
I had engineers measuring their productivity.
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ู‚ู…ุช ุจู‚ูŠุงุณ ุฅู†ุชุงุฌูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณูŠู†
02:10
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
02:12
I looked at medical students' grades --
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ุจุญุซุช ููŠ ุฏุฑุฌุงุช ุทู„ุจุฉ ุงู„ุทุจ ุŒ
02:15
even salespeople's revenue.
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ุญุชูŠ ู…ู†ุฏูˆุจูŠ ุงู„ู…ุจูŠุนุงุช .
02:17
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
ูˆุนู„ูŠ ุนูƒุณ ุงู„ู…ุชูˆู‚ู‘ูŽุน
02:19
And, unexpectedly,
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02:20
the worst performers in each of these jobs were the givers.
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ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ ุฃุฏุงุก ููŠ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ูˆุธุงุฆู ูƒุงู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู†.
02:24
The engineers who got the least work done
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ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณูˆู† ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ ุฅู†ุฌุงุฒุงู‹ ู„ุนู…ู„ู‡ู…
02:26
were the ones who did more favors than they got back.
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ู‡ู… ู…ู† ูŠู‚ูˆู…ูˆุง ุจุฎุฏู…ุงุช ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู…ุง ูŠุชู„ู‚ูˆู†
02:29
They were so busy doing other people's jobs,
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ู‡ู… ู…ุดุบูˆู„ูˆู† ุจุนู…ู„ ูˆุธุงุฆู ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุŒ
02:31
they literally ran out of time and energy to get their own work completed.
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ููŠู†ูุฐ ู…ู†ู‡ู… ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ูˆุงู„ุทุงู‚ุฉ ู„ุฅูƒู…ุงู„ ุนู…ู„ู‡ู… ุงู„ุฎุงุต.
ููŠ ูƒู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุทุจ ุŒุงู„ุทู„ุงุจ ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ ููŠ ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุงุช
02:35
In medical school, the lowest grades belong to the students
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02:37
who agree most strongly with statements like,
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ู‡ู… ู…ู† ูŠุชูู‚ูˆู† ู…ุน ุนูุจุงุฑุฉุŒ
"ุฃูุญุจ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† "
02:40
"I love helping others,"
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ูˆู‡ุฐู‡ ูŠูˆุถุญ ู„ู†ุง ุงู„ุฃุทุจุงุก ุงู„ู…ู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุซู‚ ุจู‡ู…
02:43
which suggests the doctor you ought to trust
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02:45
is the one who came to med school with no desire to help anybody.
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ู‡ู… ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุฃุชูˆู† ู„ูƒู„ูŠุฉ ุงู„ุทุจ ูˆู„ุง ูŠุณุงุนุฏูˆู† ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† .
02:48
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
02:49
And then in sales, too, the lowest revenue accrued
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ู…ุจูŠุนุงุช ุฃูŠุถุงู‹ุŒ ุงู„ุฃู‚ู„ ู…ุจูŠุนุงุช
02:51
in the most generous salespeople.
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ู‡ูˆ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฏูˆุจ ุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ูƒุฑู…ุงู‹.
02:53
I actually reached out to one of those salespeople
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ุชูˆุงุตู„ุช ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ู…ุน ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ู…ู†ุฏูˆุจูŠู†
ูƒุซูŠุฑูŠ ุงู„ุนุทุงุก
02:56
who had a very high giver score.
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02:57
And I asked him, "Why do you suck at your job --"
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ูˆุณุฃู„ุชู‡ุŒ "ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ุฃู†ุช ุณุฆ ููŠ ูˆุธูŠูุชูƒ --"
03:00
I didn't ask it that way, but --
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ู„ู… ุงุณุฃู„ ุจู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฃุณู„ูˆุจ ุทุจุนุงู‹ ุŒ ู„ูƒู†
03:01
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
03:02
"What's the cost of generosity in sales?"
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"ู…ุง ู‡ูŠ ู†ุชูŠุฌุฉ ุงู„ูƒุฑู… ููŠ ูˆุธูŠูุฉ ูƒุงู„ู…ุจูŠุนุงุช ุŸ"
03:05
And he said, "Well, I just care so deeply about my customers
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ูˆู‚ุงู„ ุŒ"ุญุณู†ุงู‹ ุŒ ุฃู†ุง ุฃู‡ุชู… ูƒุซูŠุฑุงู‹ ุจุนู…ู„ุงุฆูŠ
03:08
that I would never sell them one of our crappy products."
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ู„ุฐุง ู„ู† ุฃุจูŠุน ู„ู‡ู… ุฃูŠ ู…ูู† ู…ู†ุชุฌุงุชู†ุง ุงู„ุณูŠุฆุฉ."
03:11
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
03:12
So just out of curiosity,
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ู…ู† ุจุงุจ ุงู„ูุถูˆู„ ุŒ
ูƒู… ู…ู†ูƒู… ูŠุนุชุจุฑ ู†ูุณู‡ ุดุฎุต ู…ูุนุทูŠ ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู…ู† ูƒูˆู†ู‡ ุขุฎูุฐุŸ
03:14
how many of you self-identify more as givers than takers or matchers?
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03:17
Raise your hands.
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ุฅุฑูุนูˆุง ุฃูŠุฏูŠูƒู… .
03:18
OK, it would have been more before we talked about these data.
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ุญุณู†ุงู‹ุŒ ูƒุงู† ุงู„ุนุฏุฏ ู„ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฃูƒุจุฑ ู‚ุจู„ ุนุฑุถ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุจูŠุงู†ุงุช.
03:22
But actually, it turns out there's a twist here,
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ูˆููŠ ุงู„ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ุŒุฅุชุถุญ ุจุฃู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุชุบูŠูŠุฑ ู‡ู†ุง ุŒ
ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู† ูŠุถุญูˆู† ุจุฃู†ูุณู‡ู… ุŒ
03:26
because givers are often sacrificing themselves,
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03:29
but they make their organizations better.
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ูŠุฌุนู„ูˆุง ู…ู†ุธู…ุงุชู‡ู… ุฃูุถู„
03:32
We have a huge body of evidence --
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ู„ุฏูŠู†ุง ุฃุฏู„ุฉ ูƒุซูŠุฑุฉ--
ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุงุณุงุช ุจุญุซุช ููŠ ุณู„ูˆูƒ ุงู„ุนุทุงุก
03:35
many, many studies looking at the frequency of giving behavior
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03:38
that exists in a team or an organization --
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ุงู„ู…ูˆุฌูˆุฏุฉ ููŠ ูุฑูŠู‚ ุฃูˆ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ--
ูˆูƒู„ู…ุง ูƒุงู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู…ุชุนุงูˆู†ูˆู† ูˆูŠุณุงุนุฏูˆู† ุจุนุถู‡ู… ุงู„ุจุนุถ
03:41
and the more often people are helping and sharing their knowledge
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ูˆูŠู‚ุฏู…ูˆู† ุงู„ุชูˆุฌูŠู‡ุงุช
03:44
and providing mentoring,
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03:45
the better organizations do on every metric we can measure:
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ูƒู„ู…ุง ูƒุงู†ุช ุงู„ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ ุฃูุถู„
ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฑุจุญุงู‹ ูˆุฅุฑุถุงุกู’ ู„ู„ุนู…ู„ุงุกุŒ ุฅุณุชุจู‚ุงุกู‹ ู„ู„ู…ูˆุธููŠู†
03:48
higher profits, customer satisfaction, employee retention --
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03:50
even lower operating expenses.
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ุฃู‚ู„ ููŠ ุงู„ู…ุตุฑูˆูุงุช .
03:53
So givers spend a lot of time trying to help other people
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ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ูŠู‚ุถูˆู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ูู† ุงู„ูˆู‚ุช ู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
03:56
and improve the team,
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ูˆุชุทูˆูŠุฑ ุงู„ูุฑูŠู‚ ุŒ
03:57
and then, unfortunately, they suffer along the way.
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ู„ูƒู† ูˆู„ู„ุฃุณู ูŠูุนุงู†ูˆู† ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹.
ุงูุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ู…ุง ูŠุชุทู„ุจู‡ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ
04:00
I want to talk about what it takes
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04:01
to build cultures where givers actually get to succeed.
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ู„ู†ุจู†ูŠ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ูŠูƒูˆู† ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ู…ุนุทุงุคู† ู†ุงุฌุญูˆู†.
04:05
So I wondered, then, if givers are the worst performers,
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ู„ุฐุง ุชุณุงุกู„ุช ุŒ ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ุงู„ู…ุนุทุงุคู† ู‡ู… ุงู„ุฃุณูˆุฃ ููŠ ูˆุธุงุฆูู‡ู… ุŒ
04:08
who are the best performers?
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ู…ูŽู† ุฅุฐุงู‹ ุงู„ุฃูุถู„ ุŸ
04:11
Let me start with the good news: it's not the takers.
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ูุงู„ู†ุจุฏุฃ ุจุงู„ุฃุฎุจุงุฑ ุงู„ุฌูŠุฏู‡ : ุฅู†ู‡ู… ู„ูŠุณูˆุง ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุขุฎุฐูŠู†.
ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ุฃู†ุงู†ูŠูˆู† ูŠู…ูŠู„ูˆู† ุฅู„ู‰ ุงู„ุตุนูˆุฏ ุจุณุฑุนุฉ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ูŠุณู‚ุทูˆู† ุจุณุฑุนุฉ ุฃูŠุถุงู‹.
04:14
Takers tend to rise quickly but also fall quickly in most jobs.
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04:17
And they fall at the hands of matchers.
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ูŠุณู‚ุทูˆู† ููŠ ูŠุฏ ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„.
04:19
If you're a matcher, you believe in "An eye for an eye" -- a just world.
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ุฅู† ูƒู†ุช ู…ู…ู† ูŠูุนุงู…ูู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ "ุงู„ุนูŠู† ุจุงู„ุนูŠู† "
04:23
And so when you meet a taker,
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ุงุฐุง ู‚ุงุจู„ุช ุดุฎุต ู…ูุณุชุบูู„ุŒ
04:24
you feel like it's your mission in life
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ุชุดุนุฑ ูˆูƒุฃู† ู…ู‡ู…ุชูƒ ุจุงู„ุญูŠุงุฉ
04:26
to just punish the hell out of that person.
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ุฃู† ุชุนุงู‚ุจ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต .
04:28
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
04:29
And that way justice gets served.
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ูˆุชุฎุฏู… ุงู„ุนุฏุงู„ุฉ ุจู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุทุฑูŠู‚ุฉ .
ุญุณู†ุงู‹ุŒ ุฃุบู„ุจ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ .
04:32
Well, most people are matchers.
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ูˆู‡ุฐุง ูŠุนู†ูŠ ุฅู† ูƒู†ุช ุดุฎุต ู…ูุณุชุบูู„ ุŒ
04:34
And that means if you're a taker,
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04:35
it tends to catch up with you eventually;
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ุณูŠู„ุงุญู‚ูƒ ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูƒ ููŠ ุงู„ู†ู‡ุงูŠุฉ ุ›
04:37
what goes around will come around.
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ููƒู…ุง ุชุฏูŠู† ุชูุฏุงู†
04:39
And so the logical conclusion is:
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ู„ุฐุง ูุงู„ุฅุณุชู†ุชุงุฌ ุงู„ู…ู†ุทู‚ูŠ ู‡ูˆ :
ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ ู‡ู… ุงู„ุงูุถู„ .
04:41
it must be the matchers who are the best performers.
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04:43
But they're not.
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ู„ูŠุณูˆุง ุงู„ุฃูุถู„ .
04:45
In every job, in every organization I've ever studied,
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ููŠ ูƒู„ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ ู‚ู…ุช ุจุฏุฑุงุณุชู‡ุง ุŒ
04:48
the best results belong to the givers again.
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ุฃูุถู„ ุงู„ู†ุชุงุฆุฌ ู‡ูŠ ู…ู† ู†ุตูŠุจ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู†.
04:51
Take a look at some data I gathered from hundreds of salespeople,
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ูุงู„ู†ู†ุธุฑ ุนู„ูŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุจูŠุงู†ุงุช ุงู„ู…ูุฌู…ุนุฉ ู…ู† ู…ูุฆุงุช ุงู„ู†ุงุณ
04:54
tracking their revenue.
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ุชุชุจุน ุนุงุฆุฏุงุชู‡ู… .
ู…ุง ุฑุฃูŠูƒ ููŠ ุญุตูˆู„ ุงู„ูู…ุนุทุงุคู† ุนู„ูŠ ุฃูุถู„ ูˆุฃุณูˆุฃ ุงู„ู†ุชุงุฆุฌ
04:56
What you can see is that the givers go to both extremes.
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04:58
They make up the majority of people who bring in the lowest revenue,
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ู‡ู… ูŠู…ุซู„ูˆู† ุฃุบู„ุจูŠุฉ ุงู„ุนุงุฆุฏุงุช ุงู„ู‚ู„ูŠู„ุฉุŒ
05:01
but also the highest revenue.
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ูˆุงู„ุนุงุฆุฏุงุช ุงู„ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ ุฃูŠุถุงู‹.
05:03
The same patterns were true for engineers' productivity
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ูƒุฐู„ูƒ ุงู„ุญุงู„ ุจุงู„ู†ุณุจุฉ ู„ู„ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณูŠู†
ูˆุฏุฑุฌุงุช ุทู„ุจุฉ ุงู„ุทุจ .
05:06
and medical students' grades.
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05:07
Givers are overrepresented at the bottom and at the top
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ูŠูู…ุซู„ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ุฃุบู„ุจูŠุฉ ููŠ ู‚ู…ุฉ ูˆู‚ุงุน
ูƒู„ ู…ู‚ูŠุงุณ ู„ู„ู†ุฌุงุญ .
05:10
of every success metric that I can track.
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05:12
Which raises the question:
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ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠ ูŠุฏุนูˆู†ุง ู„ู†ุณุฃู„:
05:13
How do we create a world where more of these givers get to excel?
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ูƒูŠู ู†ุฌุนู„ ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุงู„ู…ุนุทุงุคู† ู…ูุชู‚ุฏู…ูˆู† ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ุŸ
05:16
I want to talk about how to do that, not just in businesses,
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ุฃูุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุชุญุฏุซ ุนู† ูƒูŠููŠุฉ ุนู…ู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุŒ ู„ูŠุณ ูู‚ุท ููŠ ุงู„ุนู…ู„ ุŒ
05:19
but also in nonprofits, schools --
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ู„ูƒู† ููŠ ุงู„ุฃุนู…ุงู„ ุงู„ู…ุฌุงู†ูŠุฉ ูˆุงู„ู…ุฏุงุฑุณ
05:21
even governments.
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ูˆุญุชู‰ ุงู„ุญูƒูˆู…ุงุช .
05:22
Are you ready?
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ู‡ู„ ุฃู†ุชู… ู…ุณุชุนุฏูˆู† ุŸ
05:24
(Cheers)
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(ู‡ูุชุงู)
05:25
I was going to do it anyway, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.
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ุณุฃูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ ุนู„ูŠ ุฃูŠ ุญุงู„ ุŒู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุฃูู‚ุฏูุฑ ุงู„ุญู…ุงุณ .
05:28
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
05:29
The first thing that's really critical
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ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุดุฏูŠุฏ ุงู„ุฃู‡ู…ูŠุฉ
05:31
is to recognize that givers are your most valuable people,
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ุฃู† ุชุนุฑู ุจุฃู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ู‡ู… ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู‚ูŠู…ุฉุŒ
ู„ูƒู†ู‡ู… ุฅู† ู„ู… ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุญุฐุฑูŠู†ุŒุชูุณุชู†ููŽุฐ ุทุงู‚ุชู‡ู….
05:34
but if they're not careful, they burn out.
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05:36
So you have to protect the givers in your midst.
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ู„ุฐุง ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชุญูุธ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ููŠ ุงู„ู…ู†ุชุตู .
ูˆู‚ุฏ ุชุนู„ู…ุช ุฏุฑุณ ู‡ุงู… ู…ูู† ุฃูุถู„ ุงู„ุนุงู…ู„ูŠู† ุนู„ูŠ ุงู„ุฅู†ุชุฑู†ุช
05:39
And I learned a great lesson about this from Fortune's best networker.
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05:44
It's the guy, not the cat.
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ุงู„ุฑุฌู„ ู„ูŠุณ ุงู„ู‚ุทุฉ .
05:46
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
05:47
His name is Adam Rifkin.
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ุฅุณู…ู‡ ุขุฏู… ุฑูŠููƒูŠู†.
05:49
He's a very successful serial entrepreneur
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ู‡ูˆ ุฑุงุฆุฏ ุฃุนู…ุงู„ ู†ุงุฌุญ ุฌุฏุงู‹
05:51
who spends a huge amount of his time helping other people.
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ูŠู‚ุถูŠ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ูˆู‚ุชู‡ ููŠ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†.
05:54
And his secret weapon is the five-minute favor.
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ูˆุทุฑูŠู‚ุชู‡ ููŠ ุฐู„ูƒ ู‡ูŠ ุŒู…ุนุฑูˆู ู„ู…ุฏุฉ 5 ุฏู‚ุงุฆู‚ ุŒ
05:57
Adam said, "You don't have to be Mother Teresa or Gandhi
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ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุขุฏู…" ู„ุณุช ู…ุถุทุฑ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุงู„ู‚ุฏูŠุณุฉ ุชุฑูŠุฒุง ุฃูˆ ุบุงู†ุฏูŠ
05:59
to be a giver.
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ู„ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ูุนุทุงุก.
ูู‚ุท ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชุฌุฏ ุทุฑู‚ ุจุณูŠุทุฉ ู„ุชูุถูŠู ู‚ูŠู…ุฉ ูƒุจูŠุฑุฉ
06:01
You just have to find small ways to add large value
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06:03
to other people's lives."
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ู„ุญูŠุงุฉ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ".
ู‡ุฐุง ุนู„ู‰ ุจุณุงุทุชู‡ ุŒู‚ุฏ ูŠูƒูˆู† ู…ู‚ุฏู…ุฉ
06:05
That could be as simple as making an introduction
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06:07
between two people who could benefit from knowing each other.
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ู„ู„ุชุนุงุฑู ุจูŠู† ุดุฎุตูŠู† ู„ูŠุณุชููŠุฏ ูƒู„ูู ู…ู† ู…ุนุฑููุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ.
06:10
It could be sharing your knowledge or giving a little bit of feedback.
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ู…ูู† ุงู„ู…ู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุดุงุฑูƒ ู…ุนุฑูุชูƒ ูˆุชูุนุทูŠ ุฑุฃูŠูƒ .
06:13
Or It might be even something as basic as saying,
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ุฃูˆ ุญุชู‰ ุดุฆ ุจุณูŠุท ูƒู‚ูˆู„ูƒ ุŒ
"ุชุนุฑู ุŒ
06:16
"You know,
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06:17
I'm going to try and figure out
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ุณุฃู‚ูˆู… ุจู…ุญุงูˆู„ุฉ
06:18
if I can recognize somebody whose work has gone unnoticed."
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ู„ู„ุชุนุฑู ุนู„ูŠ ุดุฎุต ู…ุง ุฃูู‡ู…ูู„ ุฌู‡ุฏู‡".
06:22
And those five-minute favors are really critical
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ุฎู…ุณ ุฏู‚ุงุฆู‚ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆู ู‡ุฐู‡ ู‡ุงู…ุฉ ุฌุฏุงู‹
06:24
to helping givers set boundaries and protect themselves.
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ู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ุฃู† ูŠุถุนูˆุง ุญูˆุงุฌุฒ ู„ุญู…ุงูŠุฉ ุฃู†ูุณู‡ู…
06:27
The second thing that matters
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ุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุซุงู†ูŠ ุงู„ู…ูู‡ู…
06:29
if you want to build a culture where givers succeed,
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ุฅู† ุฃุฑุฏุช ุฃู† ุชุคุณุณ ู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ูŠูƒูˆู† ููŠู‡ุง ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ู†ุงุฌุญูˆู† ุŒ
06:31
is you actually need a culture where help-seeking is the norm;
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ูุฃู†ุช ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุชูƒูˆู† ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ููŠู‡ุง ู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุฃุณุงุณ
06:34
where people ask a lot.
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ุญูŠุซ ูŠุณุฃู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูƒุซูŠุฑุงู‹
06:36
This may hit a little too close to home for some of you.
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ู‡ุฐุง ู‚ุฏ ูŠุจุฏูˆุง ู‚ุฑูŠุจุงู‹ ุฌุฏุงู‹ ู„ุจุนุถูƒู…
06:39
[So in all your relationships, you always have to be the giver?]
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ุงุฐุงู‹ ู‡ู„ ุนู„ูŠูƒ ุฃู† ุชูƒูˆู† ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ู…ูุนุทุงุก ุŸ
06:42
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
06:43
What you see with successful givers
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ู…ุง ู†ุฑุงู‡ ููŠ ุงู„ุงุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ู…ุนุทุงุกุฉ ุงู„ู†ุงุฌุญุฉ
ุฃู†ู‡ู… ู„ุง ู…ุงู†ุน ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ู…ู† ุฃู† ูŠุชู„ู‚ูˆุง ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุฃูŠุถุงู‹
06:45
is they recognize that it's OK to be a receiver, too.
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06:48
If you run an organization, we can actually make this easier.
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ุฅู† ูƒู†ุช ุชุฏูŠุฑ ู…ุคุณุณุฉ ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒ ุฃู† ุชุฌุนู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุฃุณู‡ู„ .
06:51
We can make it easier for people to ask for help.
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ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ู†ุฌุนู„ ู…ู† ุงู„ุณู‡ู„ ุฃู† ูŠุทู„ุจ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ
06:53
A couple colleagues and I studied hospitals.
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ุฃู†ุง ูˆุฒู…ูŠู„ุงู† ู„ูŠ ุฏุฑุณู†ุง ุงู„ุณู„ูˆูƒ ุจุงู„ู…ุณุชุดููŠุงุช.
ูˆุฌุฏู†ุง ุจุฃู†ู‡ ููŠ ุจุนุถ ุงู„ุฃุญูŠุงู† ุชู‚ุฏู… ุงู„ู…ู…ุฑุถุงุช ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ู‡ุงุฆู„ุฉ ุŒ
06:56
We found that on certain floors, nurses did a lot of help-seeking,
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06:59
and on other floors, they did very little of it.
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ูˆุฃุญูŠุงู†ุงู‹ ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃู‚ู„ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ
07:01
The factor that stood out on the floors where help-seeking was common,
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ุงู„ุนุงู…ู„ ุงู„ู…ุคุซุฑ ุญูŠุซ ูƒุงู†ูˆุง ูŠุณุงุนุฏูˆู† ุจุนุถู‡ู…ุŒ
07:04
where it was the norm,
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ุญูŠุซ ูƒุงู†ุช ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุณู„ูˆูƒ ุŒ
ูƒุงู† ูˆุฌูˆุฏ ู…ู…ุฑุถุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ูˆุงู„ุชูŠ
07:06
was there was just one nurse whose sole job it was
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07:08
to help other nurses on the unit.
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ุชุณุงุนุฏ ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑูŠู† .
07:10
When that role was available,
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ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฏูˆุฑ ู…ุชูˆูุฑ ุŒ
07:11
nurses said, "It's not embarrassing, it's not vulnerable to ask for help --
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ู‚ุงู„ุช ุงู„ู…ู…ุฑุถุงุชุŒ" ุฃู†ู‡ ู„ูŠุณ ู…ุญุฑูุฌุงู‹ ุฃู† ู†ุทู„ุจ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ-
07:15
it's actually encouraged."
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ุฅู†ู‡ ุฃู…ุฑ ู…ูุดุฌูุน".
07:18
Help-seeking isn't important just for protecting the success
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ุงู„ุณุนูŠ ู„ู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ู„ูŠุณุช ู‡ุงู…ุฉ ูู‚ุท ู„ู„ุญูุงุธ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ู†ุฌุงุญ
ูˆุณู„ุงู…ุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุทุงุฆูŠู†.
07:21
and the well-being of givers.
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07:22
It's also critical to getting more people to act like givers,
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ุจู„ ู„ู„ุญุตูˆู„ ุนู„ูŠ ุงู„ู…ุฒูŠุฏ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู†ุŒ
07:25
because the data say
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ู„ุฃู† ุงู„ุจูŠุงู†ุงุช ุชู‚ูˆู„ ุจุฃู†
07:26
that somewhere between 75 and 90 percent of all giving in organizations
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ู…ุง ุจูŠู† 75% ุงู„ู‰ 90% ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุจุฃูŠ ู…ู†ุธู…ุฉ
ุชุจุฏุฃ ุจู…ุฌุฑุฏ ุทู„ุจ .
07:30
starts with a request.
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07:31
But a lot of people don't ask.
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ู„ูƒู† ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ู„ุง ูŠุทู„ุจูˆู†
07:33
They don't want to look incompetent,
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ู„ุง ูŠุฑูŠุฏูˆู† ุฃู† ูŠุจุฏูˆุง ุฃู‚ู„ ูƒูุงุกุฉุŒ
07:35
they don't know where to turn, they don't want to burden others.
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ู„ุง ูŠุนุฑููˆู† ุงู„ู‰ ู…ู† ูŠู„ุฌุฃูˆู† ุŒ ูˆู„ุง ูŠุฑูŠุฏูˆู† ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุนูุจุก
07:38
Yet if nobody ever asks for help,
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ูุฅุฐุง ู„ู… ูŠุทู„ุจ ุฃุญุฏ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉุŒ
ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู† ุงู„ู…ูุญุจูŽุทูŠู† ููŠ ู…ู†ุธู…ุชูƒ
07:40
you have a lot of frustrated givers in your organization
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07:42
who would love to step up and contribute,
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ุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุญุจูˆู† ุฃู† ูŠูุณุงู‡ู…ูˆุงุŒ
07:44
if they only knew who could benefit and how.
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ุฅู† ุนู„ูู…ูˆุง ูู‚ุท ูƒูŠููŽ ูˆู„ู…ูŽู†.
07:47
But I think the most important thing,
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ู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ุฃู‡ู…ูŠุฉ ู‡ูˆ ุŒ
07:49
if you want to build a culture of successful givers,
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ุฅู† ุงุฑุฏุช ุงู„ุชุฃุณูŠุณ ู„ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุนุทุงุก ู†ุงุฌุญุฉุŒ
07:51
is to be thoughtful about who you let onto your team.
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ู„ุงุจุฏ ุฃู† ุชุฎุชุงุฑ ุฑุฆูŠุณ ุงู„ูุฑูŠู‚ ุจุนู†ุงูŠุฉ .
07:54
I figured, you want a culture of productive generosity,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุจุฃู†ูƒ ุจุญุงุฌุฉ ุงู„ู‰ ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุชุงุฌ ุงู„ุบุฒูŠุฑุŒ
07:57
you should hire a bunch of givers.
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ุชู…ุชู„ูƒ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ูู† ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู†
07:59
But I was surprised to discover, actually, that that was not right --
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ู„ูƒู†ู†ูŠ ูƒู†ุช ู…ู†ุฏู‡ุดุงู‹ ู„ุฃุฌุฏ ุจุฃู† ู‡ุฐุง ุฎุงุทุฆ-
08:03
that the negative impact of a taker on a culture
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ู„ุฃู† ุชุฃุซูŠุฑ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ู…ูุณุชูŽุบูู„
08:06
is usually double to triple the positive impact of a giver.
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ู‡ูˆ ุถุนู ุฃูˆ ุซู„ุงุซ ุฃุถุนุงู ุชุฃุซูŠุฑ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ู…ูุนุทูŠ.
08:09
Think about it this way:
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ููƒุฑ ุนู„ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู†ุญูˆ:
08:10
one bad apple can spoil a barrel,
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ุชูุงุญุฉ ูุงุณุฏุฉ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชููุณูุฏ ุจุฑู…ูŠู„ ุŒ
08:12
but one good egg just does not make a dozen.
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ูˆู„ูƒู† ุจูŠุถุฉ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ุฌูŠุฏุฉ ู„ุง ูŠู…ูƒู†ู‡ุง ุฃู† ุชุฌุนู„ ุงู„ุจุงู‚ูŠ ูƒุฐู„ูƒ
08:15
I don't know what that means --
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ุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃุนุฑู ู…ุนู†ู‰ ู‡ุฐุง
08:17
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
08:18
But I hope you do.
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ู„ูƒู†ูŠ ุขู…ู„ ุฃู† ุชุนุฑููˆุง ุฃู†ุชู…
ูู‚ุท ุถุน ุดุฎุต ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ ูˆุงุญุฏ ููŠ ูุฑูŠู‚ ุŒ
08:20
No -- let even one taker into a team,
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08:23
and you will see that the givers will stop helping.
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ูˆุณุชุฑู‰ ุฃู†ู‡ู… ุณูŠุชูˆู‚ููˆู† ุนู† ุงู„ุนุทุงุก .
08:26
They'll say, "I'm surrounded by a bunch of snakes and sharks.
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ุณูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู†ุŒ "ู†ุญู† ู…ุญุงุทูˆู† ุจุซุงุนุจูŠู† ูˆู‚ุฑูˆุด.
08:29
Why should I contribute?"
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ู„ู…ุงุฐุง ุฃูุดุงุฑูƒ ุฅุฐุงู‹ุŸ"
08:30
Whereas if you let one giver into a team,
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ูุฅุฐุง ุชุฑูƒุช ุดุฎุต ู…ุนุทูŠ ููŠ ูุฑูŠู‚ุŒ
08:32
you don't get an explosion of generosity.
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ู„ู† ุชุญุตู„ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒุฑู… ูƒุจูŠุฑ.
ุนุงุฏุฉ ูŠู‚ูˆู„ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŒ
08:35
More often, people are like,
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08:36
"Great! That person can do all our work."
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"ุนุธูŠู…! ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู† ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุฃู† ูŠู‚ูˆู… ุจูƒู„ ุงู„ุนู…ู„"
ู„ุฐุง ูุฅู† ุฅุฎุชูŠุงุฑ ุงู„ุงุดุฎุงุต ูˆู…ุฑุงู‚ุจุชู‡ู… ูˆุจู†ุงุก ูุฑูŠู‚
08:39
So, effective hiring and screening and team building
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08:41
is not about bringing in the givers;
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ู„ุง ูŠุชุนู„ู‚ ุจุฌู„ุจ ุงุดุฎุงุต ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู†
ุจู„ ุจุทุฑุฏ ุงู„ู…ูุณุชูŽุบู„ูŠู† .
08:44
it's about weeding out the takers.
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ุฅู† ุงุณุชุทุนุช ุฃู† ุชูุนู„ ู‡ุฐุงุŒ
08:47
If you can do that well,
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08:48
you'll be left with givers and matchers.
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ุณูŠุชุจู‚ู‰ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ูˆุงู„ุฐูŠู† ูŠุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„
ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ุณูŠุชุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจูƒุฑู…
08:50
The givers will be generous
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08:51
because they don't have to worry about the consequences.
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ู… ู„ูŠุณูˆุง ู…ุถุทุฑูŠู† ุฃู† ูŠุฎุดูˆุง ุงู„ุนู‚ุจุงุช.
08:54
And the beauty of the matchers is that they follow the norm.
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ูˆุงู„ู…ู…ูŠุฒ ููŠ ู…ู† ูŠุนุงู…ู„ูˆู† ุจุงู„ู…ุซู„ ุฃู†ู‡ู… ุณูŠุชุจุนูˆู† ุงู„ุณู„ูˆูƒ ุงู„ุนุงู… .
08:57
So how do you catch a taker before it's too late?
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ุงุฐุงู‹ ูƒูŠู ุชุนุฑู ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ ู‚ุจู„ ููˆุงุช ุงู„ุฃูˆุงู†ุŸ
09:00
We're actually pretty bad at figuring out who's a taker,
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ู†ุญู† ุณูŠุคูˆู† ููŠ ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠุŒ
09:03
especially on first impressions.
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ุฎุงุตุฉ ุนู†ุฏ ุฃูˆู„ ุฅู†ุทุจุงุน .
09:05
There's a personality trait that throws us off.
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุณู…ุงุช ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ ู…ูุญูŠู‘ุฑุฉ
09:07
It's called agreeableness,
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ูˆู‡ูŠ ู…ุง ู†ูุณู…ูŠู‡ุง ุจุงู„ูˆููุงู‚ ุŒ
ูˆู‡ูŠ ูˆุงุญุฏุฉ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฃุจุนุงุฏ ุงู„ุฑุฆูŠุณูŠุฉ ู„ู„ุดุฎุตูŠุฉ .
09:09
one the major dimensions of personality across cultures.
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09:11
Agreeable people are warm and friendly, they're nice, they're polite.
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ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ูŠ ู‡ูˆ ุดุฎุต ูˆุฏูˆุฏ ุŒู„ุทูŠู ูˆ ู…ู‡ุฐุจ .
09:15
You find a lot of them in Canada --
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ุชุฌุฏ ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ู…ู†ู‡ู… ุจูƒู†ุฏุง -
(ุถุญูƒ)
09:17
(Laughter)
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09:18
Where there was actually a national contest
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ุญูŠุซ ูŠุธู‡ุฑ ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุจุดูƒู„ ู‚ูˆู…ูŠ
09:22
to come up with a new Canadian slogan and fill in the blank,
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ูŠุตู„ ุฅู„ู‰ ุดุนุงุฑ ุฌุฏูŠุฏ ู„ูŠู…ู„ุฃ ูุฑุงุบุŒ
09:25
"As Canadian as ..."
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"....ูƒู…ุง ุงู„ูƒู†ุฏูŠูŠู†"
09:26
I thought the winning entry was going to be,
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ุฃุนุชู‚ุฏ ุฃู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุณูŠูƒูˆู† ูƒุงู„ุขุชูŠุŒ
"ูƒุดุฑุงุจ ุงู„ู‚ูŠู‚ุจ ุงู„ูƒู†ุฏูŠ "ุงูˆ "ุงู„ู‡ูˆูƒูŠ ุงู„ูƒู†ุฏูŠ"
09:29
"As Canadian as maple syrup," or, "... ice hockey."
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09:31
But no, Canadians voted for their new national slogan to be --
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ู„ูƒู† ู„ู… ูŠุตูˆุช ุงู„ูƒู†ุฏูŠูˆู† ู„ูŠูƒูˆู† ุดุนุงุฑู‡ู… -
09:34
I kid you not --
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ุฃู†ุง ู„ุง ุฃู…ุฒุญ -
09:35
"As Canadian as possible under the circumstances."
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"ุจู‚ุฏุฑ ุงู„ุฅู…ูƒุงู† ูƒู…ุง ุงู„ูƒู†ุฏูŠูŠู†"
09:38
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
ุงู„ุขู† ูˆู„ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ู…ู†ูƒู… ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู†ุŒ
09:42
Now for those of you who are highly agreeable,
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09:44
or maybe slightly Canadian,
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ุงูˆ ุฑุจู…ุง ูƒู†ุฏูŠูˆู† ุŒ
09:45
you get this right away.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒู… ุชูู‡ู… ุฐู„ูƒ .
09:47
How could I ever say I'm any one thing
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ูƒูŠู ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุฃุญุชูุธ ุจุตูุงุชูŠ
ุนู†ุฏู…ุง ุฃุถุทุฑ ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ู„ุฅุฑุถุงุก ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุŸ
09:49
when I'm constantly adapting to try to please other people?
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09:52
Disagreeable people do less of it.
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ุงู„ุบูŠุฑ ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ูŠุจุฐู„ูˆู† ู…ุฌู‡ูˆุฏ ุฃู‚ู„ .
09:54
They're more critical, skeptical, challenging,
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ู‡ู… ุญุงุณู…ูˆู† ุŒู…ุดูƒูƒูˆู†ุŒ
09:57
and far more likely than their peers to go to law school.
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ูˆุงู„ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู‚ุฏุฑุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ุงู„ุฅู„ุชุญุงู‚ ู„ุฏุฑุงุณุฉ ุงู„ู‚ุงู†ูˆู†.
10:00
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
10:01
That's not a joke, that's actually an empirical fact.
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ู‡ุฐู‡ ู„ูŠุณุช ู…ุฒุญุฉ ุŒุฅู†ู‡ุง ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ ุชุฌุฑูŠุจูŠุฉ.
(ุถุญูƒ)
10:04
(Laughter)
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10:05
So I always assumed that agreeable people were givers
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ู„ุฐู„ูƒ ุทุงู„ู…ุง ุฅูุชุฑุถุช ุจุฃู† ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ู…ูุนุทุงุคู†
10:07
and disagreeable people were takers.
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ูˆุงู„ุบูŠุฑ ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ู‡ู… ุฏุงุฆู…ุง ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูˆู†.
10:09
But then I gathered the data,
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ูˆู‚ู…ุช ุจุฌู…ุน ุจูŠุงู†ุงุช
10:11
and I was stunned to find no correlation between those traits,
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ูˆูƒู†ุช ู…ุฐู‡ูˆู„ุงู‹ ู„ุฃุฌุฏ ุจุฃู†ู‡ ู„ูŠุณุช ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ุนู„ุงู‚ุฉ ุจูŠู† ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุณู…ุงุช ุŒ
10:14
because it turns out that agreeableness-disagreeableness
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ุฅุชุถุญ ุจุฃู† ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ ูˆุนุฏู…ู‡ ู‡ูˆ
ุงู„ู…ุธู‡ุฑ ุงู„ุฎุงุฑุฌูŠ :
10:17
is your outer veneer:
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10:18
How pleasant is it to interact with you?
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ูƒู… ู‡ูˆ ู…ู…ุชุนุงู‹ ุฃู† ุฃุชูุงุนู„ ู…ุนูƒุŸ
10:20
Whereas giving and taking are more of your inner motives:
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ุจูŠู†ู…ุง ุงู„ุฃุฎุฐ ูˆุงู„ุนุทุงุก ู‡ูˆ ู…ูุญุฑููƒ ุฏุงุฎู„ูŠ :
10:22
What are your values? What are your intentions toward others?
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ู…ุง ู‡ูŠ ู‚ูŠู…ูƒุŸ ู…ุง ู‡ูŠ ู†ูŠุชูƒ ุชุฌุงู‡ ุงู„ุฃุฎุฑูŠู†ุŸ
10:25
If you really want to judge people accurately,
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ุฅู† ุฃุฑุฏุช ุฃู† ุชุญูƒู… ุนู„ูŠ ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุจุตุฏู‚ุŒ
ูŠุฌุจ ุงู† ุชุตู„ ู„ู„ู†ู‚ุทุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠู†ุชุธุฑู‡ุง ุงู„ุงุณุชุดุงุฑูŠูˆู†ุŒ
10:28
you have to get to the moment every consultant in the room is waiting for,
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10:31
and draw a two-by-two.
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ูˆุชุฑุณู… ุฌุฏูˆู„ุงู‹
10:32
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
10:37
The agreeable givers are easy to spot:
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ุงู„ุงุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ุณู‡ู„ ุงู„ุชุนุฑู ุนู„ูŠู‡ู…:
10:39
they say yes to everything.
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ูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆู† ู†ุนู… ู„ุฃูŠ ุดุฆ.
10:43
The disagreeable takers are also recognized quickly,
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ุงู„ุบูŠุฑ ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ุชุนุฑูู‡ู… ุจุณู‡ูˆู„ู‡ ุงูŠุถุงู‹ุŒ
10:46
although you might call them by a slightly different name.
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ูˆูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชูุทู„ู‚ ุนู„ูŠู‡ู… ู„ู‚ุจ ุขุฎุฑ.
10:50
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
10:53
We forget about the other two combinations.
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ู†ุญู† ู†ุชุฌุงู‡ู„ ุงู„ู†ูˆุนูŠู† ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†.
10:55
There are disagreeable givers in our organizations.
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ูŠูˆุฌุฏ ููŠ ู…ู†ุธู…ุชู†ุง ุงุดุฎุงุต ู…ูุนุทูŠุฉ ูˆุบูŠุฑ ูˆููุงู‚ูŠุฉ
10:59
There are people who are gruff and tough on the surface
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ู‡ู… ูŠุธู‡ุฑูˆู† ุจุดูƒู„ ูุธ ูˆุบู„ูŠุธ
11:01
but underneath have others' best interests at heart.
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ู„ูƒู† ููŠ ุฏุงุฎู„ู‡ู… ุฅู‡ุชู…ุงู… ูƒุจูŠุฑ ุจุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†.
ุฃูˆ ูƒู…ุง ูŠุฑุงู‡ู… ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ุฏุณูˆู†
11:05
Or as an engineer put it,
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11:06
"Oh, disagreeable givers --
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"ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ุบูŠุฑ ูˆููุงู‚ูŠูˆู†--
ูƒุดุฎุต ู„ู‡ ู…ุธู‡ุฑ ุณุฆ ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ู…ุงู‡ุฑ ุฌุฏุงู‹
11:08
like somebody with a bad user interface but a great operating system."
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(ุถุญูƒ)
11:12
(Laughter)
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11:13
If that helps you.
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ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ุฐู„ูƒ ุณูŠุงุนุฏูƒ ู„ุชุชูู‡ู….
11:14
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
11:16
Disagreeable givers are the most undervalued people in our organizations,
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ุงู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ูƒุซูŠุฑูŠ ุงู„ุฅุนุชุฑุงุถ ุบูŠุฑ ู…ูู‚ูŽุฏูŽู‘ุฑูŠู† ููŠ ู…ุคุณุณุชู†ุง
11:19
because they're the ones who give the critical feedback
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ู„ุฃู†ู‡ู… ุฏุงุฆู…ุงู‹ ูŠูˆุฌู‡ูˆู† ุงู„ู†ู‚ุฏ
11:22
that no one wants to hear but everyone needs to hear.
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ุงู„ุฐูŠ ู„ุง ุฃุญุฏ ูŠุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ูŠุณู…ุนู‡.
11:25
We need to do a much better job valuing these people
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ูŠุฌุจ ุฃู† ู†ุนุทูŠ ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ุญู‚ู‡ู…
11:27
as opposed to writing them off early,
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ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ูู† ุฅู‡ู…ุงู„ู‡ู… ูˆู†ู‚ูˆู„
11:29
and saying, "Eh, kind of prickly,
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"ุฃู†ู‡ ุดุฎุต ูƒุซูŠุฑ ุงู„ุบุถุจ
11:31
must be a selfish taker."
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ู„ุงุจุฏ ุฃู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ"
11:33
The other combination we forget about is the deadly one --
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ุงู„ู†ูˆุน ุงู„ุขุฎุฑ ุงู„ุฐูŠ ุชุฑูƒู†ุงู‡ ู‡ูˆ
11:36
the agreeable taker, also known as the faker.
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ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูˆู† ุงู„ูˆูุงู‚ูŠูˆู† ุฃูˆ ุงู„ู…ูุฒูŠูŽู‘ููˆู†
11:40
This is the person who's nice to your face,
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ู‡ูˆ ุดุฎุต ู„ุทูŠู ุฃู…ุงู…ูƒุŒ
11:42
and then will stab you right in the back.
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ู„ูƒู†ู‡ ุณูŠุทุนู†ูƒ ู…ู† ุงู„ุฎู„ู .
11:44
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
11:46
And my favorite way to catch these people in the interview process
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ูˆุทุฑูŠู‚ุชูŠ ุงู„ู…ููุถู„ุฉ ู„ู…ุนุฑูุฉ ู‡ุคู„ุงุก ู‡ูŠ
11:49
is to ask the question,
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ุฃู† ุฃุณุฃู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุณุคุงู„ุŒ
"ู‡ู„ ูŠู…ูƒู† ุฃู† ุชุฐูƒุฑ ุฃุณุงู…ูŠ ู„ 4 ุฃุดุฎุงุต
11:51
"Can you give me the names of four people
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ู‚ู…ุช ุจุชุญุณูŠู† ุญูŠุงุชู‡ู… ุงู„ู…ู‡ู†ูŠุฉ ุŸ"
11:53
whose careers you have fundamentally improved?"
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11:56
The takers will give you four names,
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ุงู„ุดุฎุต ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠ ุณูŠุนุทูŠูƒ 4 ุฃุณู…ุงุก ุŒ
11:58
and they will all be more influential than them,
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ูˆุณูŠูƒูˆู†ูˆุง ุฃูƒุซุฑ ู†ููˆุฐุง ู…ู†ู‡ุŒ
ู„ุฃู†ู‡ู… ู…ุงู‡ุฑูˆู† ููŠ ุงู„ุชู…ู„ูู‚ ูˆุงู„ุฎูŠุงู†ุฉ.
12:01
because takers are great at kissing up and then kicking down.
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12:04
Givers are more likely to name people who are below them in a hierarchy,
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ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู† ุณูŠุฐูƒุฑูˆู† ุฃุณุงู…ูŠ ู„ุฃุดุฎุงุต ุฃู‚ู„ ู…ู†ู‡ู…ุŒ
12:08
who don't have as much power,
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ูˆ ู„ูŠุณ ู„ุฏูŠู‡ู… ุณูู„ุทุฉุŒ
12:09
who can do them no good.
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ูู„ุง ูŠุณุชุทูŠุนูˆู† ุฃู† ูŠุณุงุนุฏูˆู‡ู….
12:11
And let's face it, you all know you can learn a lot about character
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ูƒู… ุฃู† ุชุชุนู„ู…ูˆุง ุงู„ูƒุซูŠุฑ ุนู† ุงู„ุดุฎุตูŠุงุช
12:14
by watching how someone treats their restaurant server
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ุจู…ุชุงุจุนุฉ ุชุตุฑู ุดุฎุต ููŠ ู…ุทุนู…
12:17
or their Uber driver.
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ุงูˆ ุชุนุงู…ู„ู‡ู… ู…ุน ุณุงุฆู‚ูŠ ุฃูˆุจุฑ
12:19
So if we do all this well,
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ุงุฐุงู‹ ุฅู† ูƒู†ุง ู†ุณุชุทูŠุน ูุนู„ ุฐู„ูƒ
12:20
if we can weed takers out of organizations,
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ุฅู† ูƒุงู† ุจุฅู…ูƒุงู†ู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ุชุฎู„ุต ู…ู† ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„ูŠูŠู†ุŒ
12:22
if we can make it safe to ask for help,
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ุฅู† ุฅุณุชุทุนู†ุง ุฌุนู„ ุทู„ุจ ุงู„ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุฃู…ุฑ ุณู‡ู„ ุŒ
12:24
if we can protect givers from burnout
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ุฅู† ุฅุณุชุทุนู†ุง ุญู…ุงูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุฆูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฅุณุชุบู„ุงู„
12:26
and make it OK for them to be ambitious in pursuing their own goals
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ู„ูŠุตุจุญูˆุง ุทู…ูˆุญูŠู† ููŠู…ุง ูŠุฎุต ุฃู‡ุฏุงูู‡ู…
12:29
as well as trying to help other people,
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ูˆู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ุฃูŠุถุงู‹ุŒ
ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุจุงู„ูุนู„ ุฃู† ู†ุบูŠุฑ ู…ูู‡ูˆู… ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ุนู† ุงู„ู†ุฌุงุญ
12:32
we can actually change the way that people define success.
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ุจุฏู„ุงู‹ ู…ู† ูŠูƒูˆู† ุงู„ุฃู…ุฑ ุชู†ุงูุณูŠ ุŒ
12:35
Instead of saying it's all about winning a competition,
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12:38
people will realize success is really more about contribution.
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ุณูŠุตุจุญ ู…ุชุนู„ู‚ุงู‹ ุจู…ุฏู‰ ู…ุณุงุนุฏุฉ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู†
12:42
I believe that the most meaningful way to succeed
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ุฃุคู…ู† ุจุฃู† ุฃูุถู„ ุทุฑู‚ ุงู„ู†ุฌุงุญ
ู‡ูŠ ุฃู† ุชูุณุงุนุฏ ุงู„ุขุฎุฑูŠู† ู„ูŠู†ุฌุญูˆุง
12:45
is to help other people succeed.
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ูˆุฅู† ุฅุณุชุทุนู†ุง ู†ุดุฑ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุฅุนุชู‚ุงุฏ ุŒ
12:47
And if we can spread that belief,
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12:48
we can actually turn paranoia upside down.
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ูŠู…ูƒู†ู†ุง ุฃู† ู†ุบูŠุฑ ู‡ุฐู‡ ุงู„ุจุงุฑุงู†ูˆูŠุง .
12:51
There's a name for that.
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ู‡ู†ุงูƒ ู…ูุณู…ู‰ ู„ุฐู„ูƒ .
12:52
It's called "pronoia."
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ุฅู†ู‡ "ุจุฑูˆู†ูŠุง"
ูˆู‡ูŠ ุงู„ุฅุนุชู‚ุงุฏ ุงู„ุฎุงุทุฆ
12:55
Pronoia is the delusional belief
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12:56
that other people are plotting your well-being.
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ุจุฃู† ุงู„ู†ุงุณ ูŠุฎุทุทูˆู† ู„ูŠุณุงุนุฏูˆูƒ.
12:59
(Laughter)
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(ุถุญูƒ)
13:02
That they're going around behind your back
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ุจุฃู†ู‡ู… ุณูŠุณุงู†ุฏูˆูƒ
13:05
and saying exceptionally glowing things about you.
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ุฃู† ูŠู‚ูˆู„ูˆ ุฃุดูŠุงุก ุงุณุชุซู†ุงุฆูŠุฉ ูˆ ู…ูุจู‡ุฌุฉ ุนู†ูƒ.
13:09
The great thing about a culture of givers is that's not a delusion --
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ุงู„ุดุฆ ุงู„ุนุธูŠู… ุนู† ุซู‚ุงูุฉ ุงู„ุนุทุงุก ู‡ูŠ ุฃู†ู‡ุง ู„ูŠุณุช ูˆู‡ู… -
13:13
it's reality.
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ุฅู†ู‡ุง ุญู‚ูŠู‚ุฉ
13:15
I want to live in a world where givers succeed,
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ุฃุฑูŠุฏ ุฃู† ุฃุนูŠุด ููŠ ุนุงู„ูŽู… ุญูŠุซ ูŠู†ุฌุญ ุงู„ู…ูุนุทุงุคู†ุŒ
13:18
and I hope you will help me create that world.
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ุขู…ูู„ ุฃู† ุชุณุงุนุฏูˆู†ูŠ ู„ุตู†ุน ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…
13:20
Thank you.
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ุดูƒุฑุงู‹.
13:21
(Applause)
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(ุชุตููŠู‚)
ุญูˆู„ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน

ุณูŠู‚ุฏู… ู„ูƒ ู‡ุฐุง ุงู„ู…ูˆู‚ุน ู…ู‚ุงุทุน ููŠุฏูŠูˆ YouTube ุงู„ู…ููŠุฏุฉ ู„ุชุนู„ู… ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ. ุณุชุฑู‰ ุฏุฑูˆุณ ุงู„ู„ุบุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ุชูŠ ูŠุชู… ุชุฏุฑูŠุณู‡ุง ู…ู† ู‚ุจู„ ู…ุฏุฑุณูŠู† ู…ู† ุงู„ุฏุฑุฌุฉ ุงู„ุฃูˆู„ู‰ ู…ู† ุฌู…ูŠุน ุฃู†ุญุงุก ุงู„ุนุงู„ู…. ุงู†ู‚ุฑ ู†ู‚ุฑู‹ุง ู…ุฒุฏูˆุฌู‹ุง ููˆู‚ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุฉ ุงู„ุฅู†ุฌู„ูŠุฒูŠุฉ ุงู„ู…ุนุฑูˆุถุฉ ุนู„ู‰ ูƒู„ ุตูุญุฉ ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู„ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ ู…ู† ู‡ู†ุงูƒ. ูŠุชู… ุชู…ุฑูŠุฑ ุงู„ุชุฑุฌู…ุงุช ุจุงู„ุชุฒุงู…ู† ู…ุน ุชุดุบูŠู„ ุงู„ููŠุฏูŠูˆ. ุฅุฐุง ูƒุงู† ู„ุฏูŠูƒ ุฃูŠ ุชุนู„ูŠู‚ุงุช ุฃูˆ ุทู„ุจุงุช ุŒ ูŠุฑุฌู‰ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ุจู†ุง ุจุงุณุชุฎุฏุงู… ู†ู…ูˆุฐุฌ ุงู„ุงุชุตุงู„ ู‡ุฐุง.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7