Are you a giver or a taker? | Adam Grant

Translator: Leslie Gauthier Reviewer: Camille Martínez

翻译人员: Zhiwei Zheng 校对人员: Jingdan Niu

I want you to look around the room for a minute

首先，请你们看看周围，

找出最像妄想狂的人，

and try to find the most paranoid person here --

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And then I want you to point at that person for me.

然后帮我把他指出来。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

OK, don't actually do it.

好吧，别真这么做。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

不过，作为一名组织心理学家，

But, as an organizational psychologist,

I spend a lot of time in workplaces,

我花了很多时间去研究职场，

and I find paranoia everywhere.

结果发现到处都有妄想症。

Paranoia is caused by people that I call "takers."

人为引起的妄想症， 我叫他们“ 获取者”。

Takers are self-serving in their interactions.

获取者在职场互动中， 总是以自利为目的。

他们总是在想“你能为我做什么？”

It's all about what can you do for me.

The opposite is a giver.

这些人对立面叫做“付出者”。

It's somebody who approaches most interactions by asking,

他们在职场互动中总是想着：

“我能为你做什么？”

"What can I do for you?"

大家可以想想自己是哪种类型。

I wanted to give you a chance to think about your own style.

我们都有付出和获取的时候。

We all have moments of giving and taking.

你的类型取决于 大多数时候你对待大多数人的方式，

Your style is how you treat most of the people most of the time,

也就是你的默认类型。

your default.

我这里有个小测试，

I have a short test you can take

to figure out if you're more of a giver or a taker,

看看你们偏向于付出者还是获取者，

现在测试开始！

and you can take it right now.

【自恋测试】

[The Narcissist Test]

【第一步：花点时间想想你自己】

[Step 1: Take a moment to think about yourself.]

(Laughter)

（笑声）

[Step 2: If you made it to Step 2, you are not a narcissist.]

【第二步：如果你已经到了这一步， 那么你不是自恋的人】

(Laughter)

（笑声）

这是我今天讲到的唯一 没有数据支撑的东西，

This is the only thing I will say today that has no data behind it,

but I am convinced the longer it takes for you to laugh at this cartoon,

但我觉得， 你在笑之前沉迷于自己的时间越长，

the more worried we should be that you're a taker.

我们就越担心你是获取者。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Of course, not all takers are narcissists.

当然，不是所有获取者都很自恋。

Some are just givers who got burned one too many times.

有些是被伤害过太多次的付出者。

Then there's another kind of taker that we won't be addressing today,

还有另一种获取者， 我们今天不作讨论，

and that's called a psychopath.

那就是精神病患者。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

I was curious, though, about how common these extremes are,

然而，我很好奇 这种极端的人有多普遍，

and so I surveyed over 30,000 people across industries

于是我研究了三万多人，

他们来自不同的行业， 有着不同的文化背景。

around the world's cultures.

And I found that most people are right in the middle

结果我发现大多数人

正好处在付出和获取的中间。

between giving and taking.

They choose this third style called "matching."

他们选择了第三种类型， 叫作“互利者”。

如果你是互利者， 你会力求付出与获取的平衡

If you're a matcher, you try to keep an even balance of give and take:

等价交换—— 你帮了我，我才会帮你。

quid pro quo -- I'll do something for you if you do something for me.

And that seems like a safe way to live your life.

这似乎是一种稳妥的生活方式。

但这种生活方式是最高效的吗？

But is it the most effective and productive way to live your life?

The answer to that question is a very definitive ...

答案非常非常确定：

maybe.

可能吧！

（笑声）

(Laughter)

I studied dozens of organizations,

我研究了许多组织，

thousands of people.

成千上万人。

I had engineers measuring their productivity.

我让工程师们估测自己的工作效率。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

I looked at medical students' grades --

我观察了医学生的成绩，

even salespeople's revenue.

甚至营销人员的销售额。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

出乎意料的是，

And, unexpectedly,

the worst performers in each of these jobs were the givers.

上述工作中表现最差的都是付出者。

The engineers who got the least work done

完成任务最少的工程师，

were the ones who did more favors than they got back.

总是帮别人多，回报却很少。

They were so busy doing other people's jobs,

他们光给别人干活了，

they literally ran out of time and energy to get their own work completed.

完全没有时间和精力干自己的活。

在医学院，成绩最差的学生

In medical school, the lowest grades belong to the students

基本都“十分赞同” 类似这样的陈述：

who agree most strongly with statements like,

“我很乐于助人”。

"I love helping others,"

这说明你得以信赖的医生，

which suggests the doctor you ought to trust

在读医学院时 怀揣着“我谁都不帮”的想法。

is the one who came to med school with no desire to help anybody.

（笑声）

(Laughter)

And then in sales, too, the lowest revenue accrued

在销售中， 最低的销售额来自于

in the most generous salespeople.

最慷慨的销售人员。

I actually reached out to one of those salespeople

我曾经接触过的其中一个，

他的付出者分数很高。

who had a very high giver score.

And I asked him, "Why do you suck at your job --"

我问他“你怎么做得这么烂...”

I didn't ask it that way, but --

我没敢这么问，但是--

(Laughter)

（笑声）

"What's the cost of generosity in sales?"

“在销售中，慷慨 大方的代价是什么？”

And he said, "Well, I just care so deeply about my customers

他说，“我太在意我的顾客了，

that I would never sell them one of our crappy products."

所以我才不肯把垃圾 产品卖给他们。”

(Laughter)

（笑声）

So just out of curiosity,

所以，只是出于好奇，

你们有多少人，比起获取者和互利者 觉得自己更偏向于“付出者”？

how many of you self-identify more as givers than takers or matchers?

Raise your hands.

请举手。

OK, it would have been more before we talked about these data.

好吧， 我讲这些之前应该人会更多。

But actually, it turns out there's a twist here,

但实际上，有一个意外转折，

虽然付出者总是牺牲自己，

because givers are often sacrificing themselves,

but they make their organizations better.

但他们让整个组织变得更好了。

We have a huge body of evidence --

我们有大量的证据，

许多关于团队或组织中

many, many studies looking at the frequency of giving behavior

“付出”行为频率的研究都说明：

that exists in a team or an organization --

人们越乐于帮助别人、分享知识、

and the more often people are helping and sharing their knowledge

或是提供指导，

and providing mentoring,

the better organizations do on every metric we can measure:

整个组织的各项指标都会变好——

高利润，高顾客满意度， 低员工流失率，

higher profits, customer satisfaction, employee retention --

even lower operating expenses.

甚至经营成本也会变低。

So givers spend a lot of time trying to help other people

付出者花了许多时间去帮助别人，

and improve the team,

使团队进步，

and then, unfortunately, they suffer along the way.

但不幸的是， 他们却要独自受苦。

因此， 我想聊聊怎样的组织文化

I want to talk about what it takes

to build cultures where givers actually get to succeed.

才会让付出者取得成功。

So I wondered, then, if givers are the worst performers,

于是我想知道， 既然付出者的工作表现不好，

who are the best performers?

那谁的表现最好呢？

Let me start with the good news: it's not the takers.

先说好消息： 并不是获取者。

获取者通常在工作中 得道容易，失道也容易。

Takers tend to rise quickly but also fall quickly in most jobs.

And they fall at the hands of matchers.

并且他们一般会栽在互利者手里。

If you're a matcher, you believe in "An eye for an eye" -- a just world.

如果你是互利者，你会坚信 “以眼还眼”--一个公平的世界。

And so when you meet a taker,

当你遇到获取者的时候，

you feel like it's your mission in life

你感觉被赋予了一项使命——

to just punish the hell out of that person.

要把那个获取者整的无法自理。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And that way justice gets served.

于是正义得以伸张。

因为大多数人是互利者，

Well, most people are matchers.

这意味着如果你是获取者，

And that means if you're a taker,

it tends to catch up with you eventually;

终有一天会面临正义的审判。

what goes around will come around.

“风水轮流转，你做了什么 总有一天会轮到自己头上。”

And so the logical conclusion is:

所以符合逻辑的结论应该是：

工作表现最好的一定是互利者。

it must be the matchers who are the best performers.

But they're not.

然而事实并非如此。

In every job, in every organization I've ever studied,

在我研究的每种职业，每个组织中

工作表现最好的也是付出者。

the best results belong to the givers again.

Take a look at some data I gathered from hundreds of salespeople,

让我们看看 从几百个销售人员那收集的数据，

tracking their revenue.

他们的销售额。

你们应该能发现， 付出者在两个极端。

What you can see is that the givers go to both extremes.

They make up the majority of people who bring in the lowest revenue,

在最低销售额的那端， 他们占了绝大多数，

但也同样占据了最高的那端。

but also the highest revenue.

同样的规律也适用于 工程师的工作效率

The same patterns were true for engineers' productivity

以及医学生的成绩。

and medical students' grades.

从任何一个我可以追踪的指标去看。

Givers are overrepresented at the bottom and at the top

付出者显著代表了 最低水平和最高水平，

of every success metric that I can track.

Which raises the question:

这又提出了一个问题：

How do we create a world where more of these givers get to excel?

我们应该创造怎样的世界， 能让更多付出者成功呢？

I want to talk about how to do that, not just in businesses,

这个问题不仅仅指企业里

but also in nonprofits, schools --

还有非盈利机构，学校里--

even governments.

甚至包括在政府里。

Are you ready?

准备好了吗？

(Cheers)

（欢呼声）

I was going to do it anyway, but I appreciate the enthusiasm.

没准备好我也要讲， 不过还是感谢你们的热情。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

The first thing that's really critical

第一件事十分关键——

is to recognize that givers are your most valuable people,

认识到付出者才是 你最有价值的员工。

但是如果他们自己不留心， 很容易精疲力尽，

but if they're not careful, they burn out.

So you have to protect the givers in your midst.

所以你不得不保护你们中的付出者。

我是从《财富》评出的 人脉最广的人那学到的。

And I learned a great lesson about this from Fortune's best networker.

It's the guy, not the cat.

是这哥们，不是那只猫。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

His name is Adam Rifkin.

他叫亚当·里夫金。

He's a very successful serial entrepreneur

他是一位非常成功出色的企业家，

who spends a huge amount of his time helping other people.

同时也花了大量时间去帮助别人。

And his secret weapon is the five-minute favor.

他的秘密武器是“五分钟小忙”。

Adam said, "You don't have to be Mother Teresa or Gandhi

亚当说，“想成为付出者，

to be a giver.

不是非要像特蕾莎修女 或者甘地那样。

你只需要帮一些给别人的生活

You just have to find small ways to add large value

to other people's lives."

带去巨大的价值的小忙。”

这个可以简单到只是为两人做个介绍

That could be as simple as making an introduction

between two people who could benefit from knowing each other.

而他们却会因结识彼此而获益。

也可以是分享知识 或是给一点反馈意见。

It could be sharing your knowledge or giving a little bit of feedback.

甚至可以是简单的说这么一句，

Or It might be even something as basic as saying,

“唔...

"You know,

I'm going to try and figure out

if I can recognize somebody whose work has gone unnoticed."

我想试试看我能不能找到那个

做了很多事但却 一直没被注意的人。”

And those five-minute favors are really critical

这些“五分钟小忙”对于帮助付出者

to helping givers set boundaries and protect themselves.

划分界限和保护自己十分重要。

The second thing that matters

如果你想创造一个让 付出者功成名就的文化，

if you want to build a culture where givers succeed,

第二件重要的事情是：

is you actually need a culture where help-seeking is the norm;

你需要打造一种氛围， 把求助当成家常便饭，

where people ask a lot.

每个人都乐于寻求帮助。

This may hit a little too close to home for some of you.

这可能说到某些人心坎里去了。

[So in all your relationships, you always have to be the giver?]

[在你的每段感情中， 你都得是付出者吗？]

(Laughter)

（笑声）

What you see with successful givers

每个成功的付出者都具备的特质是

他们同样也愿意被施以援手。

is they recognize that it's OK to be a receiver, too.

If you run an organization, we can actually make this easier.

如果你在管理一个组织， 你可以让这变得简单。

We can make it easier for people to ask for help.

你可以让开口求助变得不那么困难。

A couple colleagues and I studied hospitals.

我和几个同事研究了医院的情况。

发现某几层楼的护士求助很频繁，

We found that on certain floors, nurses did a lot of help-seeking,

and on other floors, they did very little of it.

但其他楼层却很少。

The factor that stood out on the floors where help-seeking was common,

这几个楼层的求助

之所以频繁且常见的原因

where it was the norm,

是每层都安排了一个护士，

was there was just one nurse whose sole job it was

她唯一工作就是帮助其他护士。

to help other nurses on the unit.

When that role was available,

当有这么一个角色时，

nurses said, "It's not embarrassing, it's not vulnerable to ask for help --

其他护士觉得，“找人帮忙 不会很丢脸也不会招来闲话--

it's actually encouraged."

反而应该如此。”

Help-seeking isn't important just for protecting the success

鼓励求助不仅在确保付出者成功，

保护他们的利益方面非常重要

and the well-being of givers.

It's also critical to getting more people to act like givers,

更关键的是能让 更多人像付出者学习，

because the data say

因为数据显示，

that somewhere between 75 and 90 percent of all giving in organizations

组织中75%-90%的“付出”行为

都始于一个请求。

starts with a request.

But a lot of people don't ask.

然而许多人不想求助于人，

They don't want to look incompetent,

他们不想被觉得无能，

they don't know where to turn, they don't want to burden others.

不知道找谁帮忙，也不想麻烦别人。

Yet if nobody ever asks for help,

但是如果没人求助，

组织里的付出者们 就会变得萎靡不振。

you have a lot of frustrated givers in your organization

who would love to step up and contribute,

而只要知道谁需要帮助以及怎么帮

if they only knew who could benefit and how.

付出者们就会站出来并且帮助他们。

But I think the most important thing,

想要构建有利于付出者的组织文化，

if you want to build a culture of successful givers,

我认为最重要的事

is to be thoughtful about who you let onto your team.

就是认真挑选你的团队成员。

I figured, you want a culture of productive generosity,

一开始我以为， 如果想构建这种有效的慷慨文化，

you should hire a bunch of givers.

那就多雇些付出者。

But I was surprised to discover, actually, that that was not right --

后来我惊讶的发现， 这是不对的。

that the negative impact of a taker on a culture

获取者对文化的负面效应

is usually double to triple the positive impact of a giver.

通常是付出者正面效应的两三倍。

Think about it this way:

给你们打个比方：

one bad apple can spoil a barrel,

一颗老鼠屎能坏一锅粥， （原句：一个坏苹果能坏一整桶）

but one good egg just does not make a dozen.

但是一粒好米可做不出一锅好粥。 （一个好鸡蛋却凑不出一整打）

I don't know what that means --

我自己都不懂我说了什么，

(Laughter)

（笑声）

But I hope you do.

不过希望你们能懂。

假如把一个获取者放进团队，

No -- let even one taker into a team,

and you will see that the givers will stop helping.

你就会发现付出者都不愿帮忙了。

They'll say, "I'm surrounded by a bunch of snakes and sharks.

他们会抱怨说， “我周围都是小人和骗子。

Why should I contribute?"

我何必帮那么多忙？”

Whereas if you let one giver into a team,

反过来，假如把一个付出者放进团队

you don't get an explosion of generosity.

大家并不会突然变得互帮互助。

久而久之，人们反而会觉得，

More often, people are like,

"Great! That person can do all our work."

“太好了！事情都 能给那个人去做！”

所以，有效的雇佣筛选并组建团队

So, effective hiring and screening and team building

is not about bringing in the givers;

并不是单纯的增加付出者数量，

而是要清除获取者。

it's about weeding out the takers.

如果你能把这个做好，

If you can do that well,

you'll be left with givers and matchers.

就会只剩下付出者和互利者。

付出者会继续慷慨相助，

The givers will be generous

because they don't have to worry about the consequences.

因为他们不必担心结果。

而互利者的美德则会让他们 遵守这个行为的规则来进行付出。

And the beauty of the matchers is that they follow the norm.

So how do you catch a taker before it's too late?

那么如何及时的找出获取者呢？

We're actually pretty bad at figuring out who's a taker,

其实我们非常难分辨出谁是获取者，

especially on first impressions.

尤其是仅凭第一印象。

There's a personality trait that throws us off.

因为有一种性格会迷惑我们的双眼。

It's called agreeableness,

这种性格叫“亲和力”。

一种在不同文化中广泛存在的性格。

one the major dimensions of personality across cultures.

Agreeable people are warm and friendly, they're nice, they're polite.

亲和力强的人热情而友好， 他们很亲切，很礼貌。

You find a lot of them in Canada --

你在加拿大能遇到很多这样的人。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

Where there was actually a national contest

他们还弄了个全国竞赛，

to come up with a new Canadian slogan and fill in the blank,

让大家给新的加拿大标语填空：

“像...一样的加拿大人”

"As Canadian as ..."

I thought the winning entry was going to be,

我一开始觉得获胜标语应该是：

“像枫蜜一样的加拿大人” 或者换成“冰球”

"As Canadian as maple syrup," or, "... ice hockey."

结果不是，

But no, Canadians voted for their new national slogan to be --

不开玩笑， 加拿大的新国家标语是：

I kid you not --

“尽量像加拿大人，看情况吧”

"As Canadian as possible under the circumstances."

(Laughter)

（笑声）

现在那些非常有亲和力的人，

Now for those of you who are highly agreeable,

or maybe slightly Canadian,

或者像加拿大人的人，

you get this right away.

应该立马就明白了。

How could I ever say I'm any one thing

我怎么可能找得出别人的毛病呢，

因为我在不停的调整自己 以取悦别人。

when I'm constantly adapting to try to please other people?

Disagreeable people do less of it.

亲和力弱的人就很少会这样。

They're more critical, skeptical, challenging,

他们爱挑刺，爱质疑，爱反驳别人。

and far more likely than their peers to go to law school.

并且他们相比其他人 更有可能去上法学院。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That's not a joke, that's actually an empirical fact.

不是开玩笑， 这是经验证明过的事实。

（笑声）

(Laughter)

So I always assumed that agreeable people were givers

所以我一直假定 亲和力强的人是付出者，

and disagreeable people were takers.

而亲和力弱的人是获取者。

But then I gathered the data,

然后我收集了一些数据，

and I was stunned to find no correlation between those traits,

却惊奇的发现它们之间并没有联系。

because it turns out that agreeableness-disagreeableness

最后结果说明

亲和力强或者弱只是一个表象。

is your outer veneer:

只是和你互动时表情是否显得愉悦。

How pleasant is it to interact with you?

Whereas giving and taking are more of your inner motives:

而付出和获取却是源自内在动机。

What are your values? What are your intentions toward others?

你的价值观是什么？ 你对别人的目的是什么？

If you really want to judge people accurately,

如果你想知道怎么准确地判断，

那我们就来到了 每个咨询顾问翘首期盼的时刻，

you have to get to the moment every consultant in the room is waiting for,

让我们画个2X2网格。

and draw a two-by-two.

(Laughter)

（笑声）

The agreeable givers are easy to spot:

亲和力强的付出者很容易看出来，

they say yes to everything.

他们对任何事都说好。

The disagreeable takers are also recognized quickly,

亲和力弱的获取者也很好区分，

although you might call them by a slightly different name.

不过你们会叫他们 一个不太一样的名字。

(Laughter)

（帕尔帕廷，《星球大战》）

We forget about the other two combinations.

别忘了另外两种人。

There are disagreeable givers in our organizations.

亲和力弱的付出者 在组织中随处可见。

There are people who are gruff and tough on the surface

这些人表面强势且脾气差，

but underneath have others' best interests at heart.

但心底里还是为别人着想。

引用一位工程师的话：

Or as an engineer put it,

"Oh, disagreeable givers --

“噢，脾气差的付出者啊，

就像是一个非常优秀的操作系统， 不过用户界面不太友好。”

like somebody with a bad user interface but a great operating system."

（笑声）

(Laughter)

If that helps you.

但愿这个比喻你能懂。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

Disagreeable givers are the most undervalued people in our organizations,

亲和力弱的付出者 是组织中最被低估的人，

because they're the ones who give the critical feedback

因为他们给出的 批评性建议没人爱听，

that no one wants to hear but everyone needs to hear.

但是每个人都需要去听。

We need to do a much better job valuing these people

我们应该要更好的评价他们，

as opposed to writing them off early,

而不是拒之门外，

and saying, "Eh, kind of prickly,

并说“这人好难搞，

must be a selfish taker."

一定是个自私的获取者。”

The other combination we forget about is the deadly one --

最后一种人最为致命——

the agreeable taker, also known as the faker.

亲和力强的获取者， 又名伪装者。

This is the person who's nice to your face,

这种人表面上和你客客气气，

and then will stab you right in the back.

然后转身在背后插你两刀。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

And my favorite way to catch these people in the interview process

我最常用的鉴别办法是

is to ask the question,

在面试时问这个问题：

“能否告诉我四个

"Can you give me the names of four people

你在工作中用心培养过的 四个人的名字？”

whose careers you have fundamentally improved?"

The takers will give you four names,

获取者会告诉你的四个人

and they will all be more influential than them,

都比他们自己有影响力，

因为获取者善于 一边奉承上级一边打压下属。

because takers are great at kissing up and then kicking down.

Givers are more likely to name people who are below them in a hierarchy,

付出者则一般会 列举几个层级比他们低的人，

who don't have as much power,

这些人并没有多少权力，

who can do them no good.

也不能带来太多好处。

And let's face it, you all know you can learn a lot about character

事实上，我们想了解一个人的性格

by watching how someone treats their restaurant server

可以从这人对待餐厅服务员

和优步司机的态度来判断。

or their Uber driver.

So if we do all this well,

如果我们能把这些做好，

if we can weed takers out of organizations,

如果我们能把获取者扫地出门，

if we can make it safe to ask for help,

如果我们能让求助变得安心，

if we can protect givers from burnout

如果我们能保护付出者 不让他们觉得精疲力尽，

and make it OK for them to be ambitious in pursuing their own goals

而是去实现自己的雄心壮志的同时

as well as trying to help other people,

对他人施以援手。

我们就能改变人们对成功的定义——

we can actually change the way that people define success.

不是在竞争中独占鳌头，

Instead of saying it's all about winning a competition,

people will realize success is really more about contribution.

而是意识到成功更多是付出与贡献。

I believe that the most meaningful way to succeed

我坚信最有意义的成功

是帮助他人取得成功。

is to help other people succeed.

如果能传递这个信念，

And if we can spread that belief,

we can actually turn paranoia upside down.

我们就能完全颠覆偏执症。

There's a name for that.

它有一个新的名字，

It's called "pronoia."

叫做"积极妄想".

积极妄想是一种妄想信念，

Pronoia is the delusional belief

that other people are plotting your well-being.

相信其他人会密谋着让你飞黄腾达。

(Laughter)

（笑声）

That they're going around behind your back

他们还会悄悄的在你背后

and saying exceptionally glowing things about you.

把你夸得天花乱坠。

The great thing about a culture of givers is that's not a delusion --

值得庆幸的是 付出者的文化并不是妄想，

it's reality.

而是现实。

I want to live in a world where givers succeed,

我梦想中的世界里 付出者们功成名就，

and I hope you will help me create that world.

希望你们能帮我实现这个梦想。

Thank you.

谢谢。

(Applause)